House of Tamod
by The Grey Coincidence
Summary: Saras Kanbujian Kanbu Shifty is a shapeshifter in the employ of a less than legal organization known as the Bat Cave. In order to assemble the missing pieces of the Jit Kun Crystal long ago destroyed by Master Oogway he enters a martial arts tournament that soon ends up life threatening due to an ancient feud between the host and the last tournament's runner up.
1. White Carriages

"I wish I could come _sooooooooo badly!"_ Shan Qu was complaining as he threw Saras' stuff into a white carriage, drawn by white horses, though the horses were absent at this point. "I mean think about it, I could be your number one fan! Your assistant. A distant cousin-"

Shan Qu was small, brown and had an extremely thick skull. Saras had told him, time and time and time again that he was going to compete in the tournament as an excuse to search the Palace of Tamod for the Yei or Dei gems of the Jit Kun Crystal, he wasn't planning on staying any longer than he had to.

Still Shan Qu had built an image of Saras winning the entire tournament, and that image would not leave.

Shan Qu was seventeen, he was a fruit bat with light brown fur and nut brown eyes. He was small, and wore a thick black scarf and a black robe.

He was Saras' partner in the Bat Cave, and for the past three years they had gone on all their missions together. This time however, Saras had to go alone.

Saras was also seventeen. He was a fox. Short and somewhat thin. His fur was bright red and his eyes were light brown. He wore light blue pants, a yellow, sleeveless jumper, a green cloak that was too big for him, a rice hat that draped onto his back and was only held up by a string around his neck. On his feet he wore a pair of Talon Claws, an odd kind of footwear, that resembled a bird's talons but were made of metal, and obeyed the movement of Saras' toes, so that the fox essentially had metal bird feet.

"Shan I'm not going to try and win. I'm going to go, and-" From the corner of his eye he saw the white horse coming back, yawning loudly. "And get that thing."

Shan Qu opened his mouth,but before he could protest Saras cut him off. "I'll be back soon. It shouldn't take too long."

"Are you ready already?" Came the annoyed voice of the white horse.

"Yeah." Saras replied, before walking forwards and taking two steps towards the carriage. Shan Qu hugged him from behind around the middle, much to his chagrin. Shan Qu had always been a very touchy-feely person, which Saras often found a great cause of embarrassment. Then Shan Qu finished and flapped off.

"Catch you later!" He called out from behind him.

The horse snorted. "Took your boyfriend long enough to say goodbye. Now get in."

Saras gave him a very deadpanned look, but nevertheless crawled into the carriage, now filled with his possessions.

There was a pile of arrows in a fat quiver, Saras had made them himself. Then there was a bow as big as him, one that was useless and he couldn't hit a barn door with to save his life. There were a pair of knives in brown sheathes, and a pair of daggers that were longer and the sides had spines of jade. He had packed a towel, or rather Shan Qu had bought him a large fluffy green one, but had no spare clothes, he had already decided he wouldn't take too long and would be leaving soon anyways.

The cart rattled along, bumping repetitively as it travelled through an uneven road. Saras had no desire to talk to the driver, who had already proved himself annoying and rude, and so passed his day in silence. They ate lunch together at a cheap restaurant, where Saras was pretty sure he unearthed a whole nail from his bean bun, that had put him off his lunch.

Boredom swept in as the journey continued. He was sick of watching trees and endless fields, and whiled away the journey re-thinking the plan. He would sneak off in search of the gem during the first stage of the tournamrnt. If he found it he would leave with it. If he failed he would go to the tournament.

It was called the Five Tasks of the House of Tamod, and was extremely hard to research. At least a hundred years ago it had been incredibly popular. But then it had stopped for a while and since lost some of it's flame. However it had been reinstated fifty years before. But there was no information aside from that. Most of the victors were felines of some sort, though there was one case where a wolf had won, but there had been no mention of a prize. Saras wondered vaguely whether there even was a prize.

The carriage rattled to a halt at a small, colourful village, with an even more colourful sign that read 'Suna'. The door burst open and amidst wild cheering came a pair of rabbits.

There were identical to the very last fur. Both had light brown fur, massive grins and eyes that seemed to reflect the colour of the object they were looking at. They were a head shorter than Saras, and wore brightly coloured robes, striped green amd yellow, with red and blue bubbles spaced evenly between them. The door shut behind them, and the carriage rattled on.

"Hello!"

"How do you do?"

Both held out a paw towards him. Saras shook each one politely, noticing that they even felt exactly the same. He still had no words to say.

"Please don't tell me you're a mute!"

"Yeah, unless your tongue was cut off in an epic battle, in which case show-off all you want!"

"Um, I'm not mute." Saras said dumbly, still trying to spot any difference.

Both seemed to sigh with enormous, and Saras felt, exaggerated relief.

"So, what brings you to the House of Tamod?" They asked at the same time, in the same voice.

"Well, it's the horse out there and this carriage. Isn't it?" Saras replied, having given up trying to tell them apart.

The rabbits smirked. "Good one." They said simultaneously.

"So um…" Saras could find nothing to talk about.

"What do you reckon the 'Tasks' are going to be?" One rabbit asked, clearly trying to ward off silence.

"Well first they're going to narrow down the competition. Then they're going to… Well it changes often. There was a rotating death ring or something once, and once you had to fight on a volcano or something."

"You researched this?" One rabbit asked incredulously.

Saras shrugged. He stared out the window. The rabbits broke the silence again,in one voice.

"Oh yeah we never introduced ourselves."

"My name is Li I."

"And mine is Li II."

"Li? What like the distance?"

"Well yeah. They named it after us."

"Isn't it obvious we are so awesome they name measures of distances after us?"

Saras was tempted to bring up the fact that the measure of distance known as a li was invented at least a thousand years ago.

"We're joking." Li I added flatly after a few seconds.

"So what do you do?" Li II asked.

"Muay Thai? Kung Fu? Jiu-Jitsu?"

"Oh no, wait I got it! You're a knife fighter aren't you?"

Seeing no reason to say he was a shapeshifting teleporter who possessed a strand of Blood Diamond that mean that if he drank blood he went temporarily feral, nodded.

"That's pretty cool."

"Yeah. We throw darts, fight with fans, normal Kung Fu."

"We tried learning Ten Limb once… Only that was a bit of a disaster."

"Our ears aren't flexible enough."

"Or long enough."

"That and they don't act like tentacles sticking to the tops of our heads."

Saras had no idea what Ten Limb was, and was clearly lost, as Li I changed the subject abruptly.

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen." Saras replied without thinking.

"Oooh, an ickle one." They said together.

"I'm bigger than both of you." Saras snapped.

"We were joking." Li II scolded.

"As a matter of fact we're both only nineteen." Li I said. Then he pulled out a packet of mah jong from his robe. "Mah jong? I'd play with my twin, but we know each other too well."

Saras decided he liked the twins. They knew a lot of good jokes and were really nice. They had shared a large pack lunch of dumplings, fried, boiled and sweet and sticky. Saras was licking his claws clean of the sticky syrup that had coated the dumplings by the time they arrived at the Palace. Yawning loudly and full of food the trio were led to a large room full of double-beds. Saras went straight to sleep, not noticing the other competitors that shared a room with him.

* * *

 _Footnote: I wanted to start this because I felt like writing it more than anything else. It is part of my rework schedule._

 _And now an announcement._

 _I don't plan on accepting more OCs than I already have the first time. I don't need any more than I already have, but if you want a place go ahead. The OCs that star in this fic but do not belong to me are:_

 _Lang by Mind Jack_

 _Cin Lin by Mind Jack_

 _Chaonao by Berserker88_

 _Enjoy and Update soon._


	2. Competitors Galore!

Saras was awoken by a loud banging and a cry of 'Gooooooood Morning!' He sat up quickly, and held a massive frown. He coukd have slept more.

"Do you mind!" Came the yell of a wolverine, who had apparently fallen off his bed at the sudden wake up call.

With an odd twist in his gut Saras recognized him. He was Han Guan, the guard at the Silver Fang estate he had robbed four years ago.

His fur was dark brown all over. He wore a blue kimono held up by a black belt. Around his paws and feet were bright red bandages.

"Han Guan?" Saras said before he could stop himself.

The wolverine who had been having a heated argument with the Lis, who had been knocking their fans together, suddenly turned to him with a very smug look on his face.

"I see my reputation precedes me." He said, grinning broadly as if he had just been elected Supreme Emperor and given the whole world as a birthday present.

"Um yeah,I heard of you." Saras said playing along, incredibly glad Han Guan had not recognized him, it would be harder after all to rob a place if they knew he was a thief.

Han Guan grinned so hard Saras was sure it must have hurt.

"And you are?" He asked politely in his Japanese accent.

"Shifty." Saras said, the Wus had called him Kanbujian, he had called himself Saras , his last name was his best shot at keeping the wolverine bewildered.

"Well Shifty-san, I am glad to have met you." Han Guan said, grabbing his paw and shaking it hard.

The Lis were watching with mild curiosity,then went about banging their fans together and making a racket next to a bed.

The jackal who had been asleep before now got to his feet scowling down as the rabbits yelled good morning up at him, as if thinking he was deaf.

His eye twitched in annoyance, before he went to the foot of his bed and started unpacking. Clearly he was expecting to stay for a while.

His fur was a sandy orange, his pants a plain red. He was thin and wore a vest of yellow that was open at the front. He had a long, metal whip curled around his belt. Aside from that he seemed somewhat unimpressive.

He was also young, around the same age as the Lis.

"Will you stop that infernal racket!?" Growled the figure on the far end of the room. He was a red panda, his fur was an orange along his hands and feet, and was ringed with white on his fluffy tail. He was nearly orange entirelty save for the tips of his ears and his facial fur. His eyes were mismatched, one had a long scar along it and was a milky blue, the other was obsidian black. Both were glaring at the twins, who looked only slightly fazed, their eyes darting to the scar nd then back to him.

"How about…" Li I said in mock thought.

"No, we can't really now can we?"

"No, we can't."

Then they turned to the red panda. "Nope!" They said simultaneously, blowing a pair of raspberries at him. He was on them before anyone could stop him, grabbed Li I in a headlock with one paw, and slammed Li II into the wall behind him.

"Apologize", he snarled through his teeth.

"Sorry." Li I said, choking for breath and going red. Li II was so dazed he couldn't even reply. That seemed to satisfy him , and he pushed the twins together. That was the end of the 'infernal racket'.

Saras was half-listening to Han Guan, half-watching the red panda in his sandals and forest green pants. He at least was a fighter… and that made his job more difficult if he found out.

Just then Saras' bed creaked from above as a large figure of a bear rolled off and landed with a small stomp on the floor.

He was fat and had light brown fur all over, with warm purple eyes. He had a patch of golden, yellow fur on his chest in the shape of the sun and wore a large purple pair of pants.

The first thought Saras had of him was that they should swap sleeping arrangements before he woke up smothered by this giant.

Then the day went on and Saras went about alone, trying to find where the Yei gem would be kept and also admiring the competition. If he didn't have a really important mission he'd have loved to watch the tournament.

There was Jiao'ao, another member of his dormitory who Li had somehow not woken up. He was a peacock, with a blue robe that was certainly silk. His feathers were primarily blue, but he had green tips to his crest and his train was made of yellow, green and blue feathers. His beak and talons were yellow and he walked around with a large greatsword strapped to his back.

There was also Reidak, another person he recognized from his trip with the Wu sisters. Han Guan had hired him to prevent the robbery of Xei… But naturally that had not gone too swell and Saras had gotten away with it anyways. He was large and burly, with a red bandana around his eyes and a red shirt with black pants. His fur was bright orange and striped in black.

Then there was Wugu, a literal fish out of water. He was an orange fish with bright green eyes and red fins with red frills. And walked around in a jar of water he pushed along on a minute cart. He was friendly enough, but slightly odd.

His friend was a masked figure in a long black cloak the same height as Saras. He was exceptionally brilliant at being grumpy, Saras decided, but must have had a soft spot as he kept on pulling Wugu's cart and bowl around.

There was a fox in the garb of a ninja, with black pants, top and balaclava, leaving only a slit for a bit of her fur and her light brown eyes. From what he could gather however, even her fur was pitch black.

She was accompanied by an elk who wore a mask of metal over his head, with holes for his eyes, ears and horns, which were wildly tangled. He wore a frill of bright red around his neck and a dirty brown robe with a red kind of badge stamped on it.

The third member of this entourage was hidden behind a black cloth over his mouth, a black conical hat and black and white bandages, behind which nothing could be seen save for two glowing yellow eyes.

But nothing gave Saras quite the surprise as much as Babirasu did. This was probably because the 'surprise' was a slap to the back of the head.

Saras turned, scowling and rubbing his head when he saw the grinning figure. Babirasu was like him a Jit Kun and they had met before, several years ago on the Feral Islands. Babirasu had grown taller and was burlier, his skin a bright pink. His outfit remained the same. A wooden shield with small spines on the back was strapped to his back. He wore bright red pants and no shirt. Saras stared at him flabbergasted, completely and utterly lost for words."Babi?" He asked in disbelief.

The two walked along the palace together. It was an odd place, the palace, a large marble dome with turrets and towers sticking out like a porcupine's quills.

They went on talking well until midday. They talked about all sorts of things. Saras showed off his numerous forms, while Babirasu had moved far away from just setting himself on fire and throwing fireballs. He could now burn pretty much anything, and could make his flames change shape and attack an opponent. They spent most of the day sparring, which ended with them both receiving a fair share of damage, Saras received some burns and Babirasu some cuts. They also talked about different techniques they had seen and fought against. Saras had vouched for the Death Touch's deadly efficiency, but Babirasu was certain that a One Inch Heart Stopper was superior, as anyone could learn how to do it. Saras had concluded the argument by pointing out that Babirasu had never felt the Death Touch and that had settled it. Then they talked about who they'd like to see fight. Saras had pointed out the red panda, to which Babirasu had pointed out Wugu.

"Yeah I had breakfast with him. He doesn't really look too strong."

"Yeah but I'll have to boil water before I can hit him, and you should know about looks being deceiving. I had no idea you were a shapeshifter! Where was all of that when we were fighting a Nian, eh?"

All in all that day soon felt like the best time of his life.

* * *

 _Footnote: The Death Touch belongs to Mind Jack. Saras knows about it because of One Form Too Many._

 _Reidak belongs to Master Fearless Shadow._

 _Lang, the grumpy red panda, belongs to Mind Jack._

 _The rest are mine._

 _Update soon._


	3. Bathing in Yin

"My old friend. How good of you to come." Badr Tamod was a thin black cat, dressed in glittering golden silk garments and a black cloak. He was grinning widely and flashed extremely white teeth. Badr Tamod was approaching his sixty-seventh birthday, but looked just as young as ever, not even a trace of white on his black fur.

Duyao frowned. "I'm the only one that came?" She was a frog, somewhat stocky. She wore black pants and a black rice hat, along with a dark green vest with a large orange flower pinned to her chest. She was old, at least in her seventies, but she failed to show so much as one wrinkle.

"I believe the majority have passed away. Cat and Misty I have no news of. Chang Shuimian is currently high priest of the Drops. Han I also believe is dead, long time ago you know, clumsy fool. I head Zora was executed along with Pulsar. Tianqi I have no news from. Lee resides in Japan,I believe the trip here is too long for him to visit. Viccori I hear is no longer a porcupine and is living a peaceful life within a tombstone-"

"I heard he's alive and well, but unwilling to visit the home of a murdering cheat." Duyao snapped, anger rising at Badr's casual speech of who was dead and who wasn't.

"And you can chat about murder?" Badr snapped.

Duyao breathed heavily, like a wounded animal. "I have come for two things. The first is to see my students compete, the second is to demand something from you-"

"We will get to demands after the first task. I wanted my old comrades to judge alongside me in the Second Task. If you accept that then you are entitled to demand anything you want from me." He said with forced politeness and a large grin.

Duyao turned and walked out looking exceptionally bitter.

Saras had just slipped into the warm bath. He was so sore he needed to relax, away from the other competitors. It was almost sun down by now and he would rather sleep smelling of lavender than sweat. The water was a light purple and seemed to soothe every inch of his body. He sighed contentedly. If only he had found Yei his day would have felt a thousand times better. Still there was plenty of time to look for it.

He sighed again, just as an exceptionally pretty girl walked in. Or rather, exceptionally ugly. Her eyes were huge and seemed to bulge unrealistically out of her head. Her dress was meant to look stylishly torn, but instead seemed like expensive rags of red and blue. Her fur was a light grey. Her eyes darted to Saras. It only just occured to him that the big Yin symbol outside the door meant that this was the ladies bathhouse.

"Hello." She said, stripping off her dress to reveal a nicely shaped body.

Saras tore his eyes away so as not to dishonor her.

"H-hey." He stammered, slipping deeper into the water so that she didn't notice anything suspicious about his lack of feminity. He was also glad that he was incapable of growing a moustache.

She was fully nude now and staring at the long mirror. Saras wanted very badly to gauge his eyes out.

"What do you think? Am I as beautiful without make up on?" She asked, giggling slightly.

Was this normal girl behaviour? "Um, yeah, really pretty." He said in a higher pitch, which he hoped sounded like a girl.

"Cough dear?" She asked knowingly, before slipping into the bath next to him. "So, are you competing?"

Saras nodded.

"Perfect. I hope a girl wins, teach all those lads that we know how to fight too,eh?"

Saras forced a smile and nodded again. He was seriously wishing he was anywhere else. He would have been more comfortable with Lang next to him, at least the red panda would only drown him once. He considered leaving though he was pretty sure that if he got up right here and right now she would have something to say about this, especially when she noticed he was a guy. He couldn't teleport, because he was the only teleporter in the tournament and she would notice he was missing from the First Task.

"My name is Safi by the way, it's short for Saphire." She held out a paw, which Saras shook.

Safi didn't take short baths apparently, she stayed and shared gossip well into night, Saras wished he had taken Babirasu's idea and skipped the bath.

"Oh gosh it's past midnight!" She finally said with a yawn. At long last Safi left and as soon as she was out Saras got up and got dressed, utterly sick of the smell of lavender and the colour purple. It was quite ironic that on his way out he met a bear clad in purple pants. Kunjingle gave him a puzzled look and stared pointedly at the Yin symbol on the door.

Saras was going red. "I'm a guy! I'm not a pervert, okay? It was an accident! I didn't look at the symbol on the door!" He said, his face bright red, and that wasn't just his fur's doing.

Kunjingle looked like he wanted to laugh, but instead settled with walking away, shaking his head. Deciding that he would never have another bath again, Saras followed him to their dormitory.

The next day Saras was up at sunrise. Yawning, he rolled off his bed. Somehow he had not convinced Kunjingle to swap with him, most likely because he was still too embarassed by last night's incident to start a conversation with him. He noticed a stack of papers in front of the door. He picked one up and read.

 _'Interview with host and lead judge, Badr Tamod, as soon as possible. Competitors must present themselves at his office one by one if they wish to compete. Order of appearance in the dining hall, where you are reccomended to spend the whole day.'_

Saras frowned. If everyone was going to be in the Dining Hall then he could spend the day searching for Yei and he wouldn't be interrupted by any nosy competitors. Saras left the stack of papers behind as he walked towards the Dining Hall. It was a large wooden structure with one exceptionally long table, with enough seats to feed a hundred people. There was a large poster and written in glittering ink were the names of the competitors.

Saras found his name at the bottom, written wrongly. He frowned. Then he began his thorough search of the castle.

* * *

 _Footnote: And so far we haven't got much, aside from a better role for Safi Tamod, and one of the best bits of comedy I wrote. Don't worry though, we'll get a good deal of the other competitors next chapter along with some key bits relevant plot. In case you're wondering this takes place around fifty or so years before Back in the Day:The Tournament, so aside from Badr and Duyao nobody from that time is going to appear, save perhaps in flashbacks or books. This tournament will spoil the other one, but the other one won't spoil this one. As for what happens to the other characters- well a lot of shit can happen in fifty years._

 _Enjoy_


	4. Headaches and the Library

**A/N: Stop! This chapter doesn't waste time with descriptions (they're all in the second chapter), so if you haven't read my other works best to have that open in the background. But seeing as most of the people who read my work read everything else I write *falecoughBerserkerfakecough* *fakecoughMindJackfakecough*, sorry, must be the hayfever, you shouldn't get too confused.**

 **Also I reccomend you listen to classical music in the background while reading this...for reasons XD**

"You must be Hang U An! A pleasure to meet you!" Badr flashed his white teeth at the wolverine, before inviting the mustelid to sit opposite him. "So Mr An, tell me about yourself."

"Its's Han Guan, not Hang U An, Badr-san." The wolverine corrected.

"Just tell me about yourself." Badr said, his eyes rolling.

"Well I come from Japan. I am a bastard of the Guan Clan. I once worked for the Silver Fang, but I was fired."

"How uninteresting. So why are you here?" Badr asked, before he could continue.

"I wish to bring honor to my cla-" Han Guan replied, slightly abhashed by Badr's interference.

"Ah, honor. Is there anything special about you? Something not as popular as honor and a sob story?"

"Excuse me?"

Badr sighed, this one wouldn't last long. "What's your combat experience? How do you fight?"

"Well my claws are tougher than most of my clanmates. I am adept at using Muay Thai-"

"Show me your 'umph!' before I die of boredom."

"My what?" He was going slightly pink. "I'm sorry to disappoint you Badr-san but I'm not gay-"

"Show me your Muay Thai!" Badr snapped.

"Oh, yes of course!" Han Guan extended his claws, they were a foot long and stuck deep into the wood of the table. "It was an accident!" Han said immediately, tearing his claws free of the table with so much force he crashed backwards and knocked over a vase in his fall. He got up quickly and entered a stance, accidentally knocking over another fragile ornament.

"Just. Get. Out." Badr said, his paws in his face.

Han Guan dropped the stance and drooped out the office, his tail between his legs. As usual he had tried his best-and failed fantastically.

* * *

"You must be Eight!" Badr flashed another smile as the next competitor walked in, hidden under a hood of black.

"I prefer Ba." The figure replied coldly, sitting down on the chair Han Guan had left empty.

"Well Ba, how are things with you?"

"Perfect." He said sullenly.

"Ah, of course. You must be Duyao's student."

"I must be." He said in the same, sullen voice.

"So how is the old frog?"

"Perfect."

"If that's all you have to say, you may leave." Badr pointed out the door, and Ba left through it. "Charming personality." He muttered.

* * *

The library was a huge black space illuminated by a fox holding one torch. He tossed book after book over his back, in search of a secret door, or maybe a clue as to Yei's existence. He tossed a large volume of some dictionary and then continued searching the shelf above.

* * *

"You are-"

"Hong Ze. Number one ladies man, super strong king of the world and self proclaimed lucky bastard!"

The elk bowed low, kissing Badr's paw.

"May I say you are looking exceptional today my fine lady?"

"I'm a guy." Badr said, his eyes narrowed.

Hong Ze blinked. "You are?!" He looked scandalized. "I must have come to the wrong tournament! I'm sorry, I was meant to see Mrs Tamod-"

"She has been dead for fifty years."

"She is!?"

"Unless you mean my wife, but she's dead too."

Hong Ze's jaw dropped. He had spent hours researching pick-up lines to advance himself further in the tournament. It wasn't a mission, he was not here on triad business. He just didn't want to loose to Naan.

"I was misinformed." Hong Ze said forcing a smile.

"How unfortunate." Badr said through gritted teeth.

* * *

Saras, unable to reach the third row of books changed form. A flash of green later and he was a crane, his tallest form, and within reach of the scrolls, which he began flicking aside casually.

* * *

"Ah, Ji Rou. How could a pretty vixen like you end up with a name like that?"

The fox clad in the black of a ninja, only a bit of her fur around her eyes showing, seemed to smile. "It's a long story. And you must be a very busy man." She said, easing herself into a chair.

Badr smiled. "Regrettably I am. So you wish to remain garbed in shadows. Very well. I can root for a shadow, so long as they can fight." He winked at her.

"I know how to fight thank you." She replied, annoyed at his lack of proffesionalism.

"Yes, and so does everyone else here." Badr pointed out. "Now if I were to drop a little hint-"

"So that you can make money off betting over me? Drop a hint and I'll drop you!" She got up. "How did a murderer like you end up running this place?"

"Murderer? What an acc-"

"I'm a triad. Do not mock my skill at information gathering. You fight with an incomplete version of the Iron Paw, which requires a blood sacrifice of one's family to be obtained. I know what you did Badr Ajam. I am here to have fun beating people up. Get in my way, or expose my cell and I'll make sure we get matching handcuffs."

Badr's jaw hung open. Ji Rou crossed the room and left. A triad cell was conpeting… And one of them knew a lot about him… It was probably best to stay out of their way.

* * *

Saras turned to leave the library, only to find a large pile of books and scrolls barring his exit. He sighed, and began the long and painful work of putting them back in order, not a single trace of Yei had been found.

* * *

"There he is. Lord Lang of the Lonely Mountain, am I right?"

"No!" Barked the red panda. "I'm Lord of the Mountains of Smoke and-"

"Whatever. Tell me-"

"Don't you dare 'whatever' me!" The red panda barked.

"Tell me about yourself." Badr went on regardless.

"Why should I?"

"Because it is polite to answer a question when one is put before you."

"Oh. Well I don't give a damn."

Badr's eyes narrowed. "Why did an angry little guy like you come to compete here?"

"Firstly I'm not 'little'! I'm not 'angry' either. If I was you'd know. And I felt like dishing out some pain, didn't I?"

"Yes… You must have." Badr added.

* * *

Kunjingle flattened the humble chair.

"Kunjingle, a pleasure to meet you."

The bear shook paws with Badr.

"So why did you decide to compete?" Badr asked.

Kunjingle drummed his fingers against his stomach and made a clicking noise.

Badr blinked and forced a smile "Sorry, didn't catch that."

Kunjingle repeated the drumming and the clicking noise.

Badr blinked again. "What are you doing?"

Kunjingle clapped his paws together in an elaborate drum beat that ended in a whistle.

Badr rolled his eyes. This was getting utterly ridiculous.

* * *

"Hello."

"Wugu. How are you?"

"I'm very good, thank you very much. What about you?"

"I'm good. So Wugu tell me about yourself."

"I come from the sea." The fish replied.

"Really? I'd have never guessed." Badr said, his voice sticky with sarcasm.

Wugu giggled. "Isn't it obvious? I'm a fish."

Badr's eyes twitched. "Of course you are-"

"So you don't believe me?" Wugu asked, looking stunned.

Badr blinked. With every sentence he was decending further and further into stupidity. "So I understand you are one of Duyao's students-"

"Yes. She is like a mother to me."

Badr allowed himself a small smile imagining Duyao trying to raise this infuriating aquatic. "And she taught you how to swim?"

"No, my real mother did."

Badr nodded. "So how do you plan on getting through the first task?"

"I didn't think about it." Wugu said sweetly.

* * *

Saras forced the last scroll into a pin-sized hole. He managed to push it halfway in when the other scrolls around it bounced out and whacked him on the nose. He howled, holding his nose in pain, giving a good kick to the whole thing, one that definetly hurt him more in the long term, as it brought the whole bookshelf down on top of him.

* * *

 _Footnote: And here we have the part one of what should be the interviews. I felt they were a key part to the previous story in getting the character's personalities out, but they were a bit jumbled and frankly too much like Hunger Games. So I went for this instead, brings out the characters and gives us all a good laugh._


	5. Questions and Answers

"And you are?" Badr was fast loosing his cool, the competitors were getting worse and worse by the minute.

"Li I!" The rabbit held out a paw, offering a handshake. Since Kunjingle had single-handedly flattened a chair the rest were forced to stand, and the bunny's paw could only be reached if Badr chose to bend forwards.

"So, what do you do?" Badr asked.

"Well it depends on my mood, when I'm sleepy I go to sleep, if I'm hungry I go to the kitchens and ask Mung for sone food, if Mung doesn't give me food, then I take it anyways, then he catches me-"

"Fascinating though Mung undoubtedly is, I meant what your fighting style's like?"

"Oh that. Well it depends. If it's a guy trying to kill me I go for the nuts, if I can't reach it I jump and kick his nuts-"

"Fascinating though the nuts you've kicked undoubtedly are, I'm a busy man. Thank you for your time." And for good measure Badr gave him another fake smile.

* * *

By now Saras had extracated himself with a bloody nose, and was searching the kitchens, in mouse form. Unlinkely though it was for any gem to be kept in a kitchen he had to be completely certain.

"The soup was cold." He heard the familiar voice of Safi Tamod say.

"Um, er- it will be hotter er-next time." The chef stuttered nervously.

"Good, or next time I'll be munching on duck, understood?" She said with a wide smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

The duck gave a nervous giggle and nodded.

"Are death threats funny now?"

"No! No milady! Of course not m-"

"I want a hundred dumplings and five soups. Hot please, understood?"

Saras darted away, feeling a strong urge to give Safi Tamod a hundred slaps and five kicks. She had been a nuisance in the bathhouse, but the way she had treated the servant was truly cruel.

* * *

"And you are?" Badr asked as the next competitor entered in afterwards.

"Li II!" The rabbit looked exactly like the one that had just left. Badr blinked, then frowned.

"Couldn't you have at least worn a mask?" He asked, annoyed at the rabbit for returning.

"Why? What have you got against my face?" The rabbit asked, sounding hurt and feeling his face.

"Nothing, except I've already seen it." Badr replied.

Li II chuckled loudly."I think you'd have remembered my face."

"Out!" Badr snapped, loosing his cool completely.

"Geez, I was only talking!"

* * *

Saras now searched the dormitories- this was risky because if he was caught by someone like Lang… He'd have more than a bloody nose to worry about. He had just been emptying the burlap sack tied to Lang's spear, which was for some reason filled with rocks, when the red panda walked in.

"What the hell are you doing!" He demanded, though it sounded more like a death threat than a question.

"I-er-um-" Saras gulped, the red panda looking him right in the eye.

Lang promptly gave him a black eye.

* * *

"Reidak Tor Pre Visla III, if it pleases you." The tiger said in a voice, softly accented in Russian.

"The third,eh? Are you nobility?" Badr asked, his interest piqued by the tiger.

"In some way, yes. But I came here to have fun! So tell me, this tournament. How much action is there truly? In Russia they say you must save princess from huge dragon, and let your opponent's scream while you are granted the dragon's head as a trophy."

"I assure you, something like that won't be happening." Badr said. "May I ask about your source?"

Reidak shrugged. "He always overdid it with the vodka."

"Ah, that explains it." Badr nodded. "May I ask why you go blindfolded?"

"Well, a blind man has no need of his eyes, why not let the world see this? Besides, I think I look good in them."

"You can't compete if you're blind." Badr said. "How will you see?"

Reidak chuckled. "I don't need eyes." He replied vaguely. Badr blinked stupidly.

"Of course you don't."

* * *

Saras now marched around with a bloody nose and a black eye, not to mention a (probably) lifelong fear of a certain red panda. And there was no sign of Bei in the armoury-which was full of old and rusted weapons, save for a bright red suit, with gleaming, bladed tonfas, all of which looked like it had been polished today.

* * *

Badr's sullen mood changed suddenly when he noted the next competitor, and he forced himself to smile extra-hard. "Jiao'ao, I looked forwards to meeting you."

The peacock nodded. He looked slightly bored, but was surveying the office with apparent liking.

"Would you like some sake? It's Japanese, but very good, and shipped directly from Tokyo. You must try it! I insist!"

Badr didn't bother calling for a servant, and stood up, pulling two golden cups from a cupboard and pouring a generous amount of sake into the first cup.

"I'm flattered, but I don't drink." Jiao'ao said, before Badr had even poured the second one.

"No matter! It's alright! You are young though, when you're my age all you're good for is drinking!" He chuckled at his own joke and slapped Jiao'ao on the shoulder. Then he remembered he didn't have a seat left for the competitors. "So how is your good father. I hear Lord La is also approaching a ripe old age."

"He's old." Jiao'ao replied.

"Sent you to represent the family, eh?" Badr winked at him. "It'll be hard to beat you you know, when people realize who you are they wouldn't want to hurt a single one of your feathers!"

"I don't intend to tell anyone who I am." Jiao'ao replied dryly. "And my father doesn't know I'm here."

Badr blinked and dropped the cup. "B-but-"

"Nobody taught me Kung Fu, my dear father didn't let them. Every Master I ever met always says I would be wasting my time. I'm not here to have people bow down to me, it happens too much anyways. I'm here to show my father how good I am, and everyone who ever refused me that I didn't need them anyways."

Badr was dumbfounded. "You don't want to win?"

"Oh, I do. But I want to be the one winning, not my name." Jiao'ao bowed. "I trust you'll keep that information to yourself?"

Badr blinked. "Sure."

Then Jiao'ao left.

* * *

"Hey! I never asked your name!" Han Guan came running up to him, Saras blinked.

"It's er-it's a bit-um complicated." He lied.

"I'm Han Hoki Tokugawa Shinza Guan, trust me I can handle a name."

Saras blinked again. "It's er-LadiasWassroom." Saras replied, staring fixedly at the Ladies washroom behind Han. After last night's incident Saras had refused to search it.

Han Guan blinked. "That's such a stupid name, why would anyone call you that? What was your dad's name?"

Saras blinked. "Um er, Musswash Pose!" He said suddenly, reading the 'must wash paws' sign.

Han Guan blinked. Then put a comforting paw on the fox's shoulder. "Okay it's not your fault."

Saras looked into his eyes after his voice had sounded with what felt like genuine care. He regretted this when Han Guan then asked. "Are you sure we've never met?"

Saras turned away. "Yup! Absolutely certain!" He started walking away when Han Guan then called out.

"What was your name again?"

Saras almost facepalmed. If he didn't know Han Guan was this stupid he'd have been sure the wolverine was doing this to annoy him. He turned slowly. "Um it was, er-" Han Guan had also moved, so the sign was conveniently blocked from view.

"Saras Kanbujian Kanbu Shifty?" Han Guan offered, his voice much icier.

"Um-yyea-no!" Saras exclaimed.

Han Guan looked at him, but surprisingly there wasn't hate in his voice. "I was the bastard of my clan, looked down upon by every Guan… Then some things happened and… I… I left it. I wondered for weeks, I was laughed at everywhere I went. The Tail of Clan Guan! They would call me. The first place that felt like home was the Silver Fang, and even they made me go after I let their vaults get robbed."

Saras felt a lump of leaden guilt punch him in the gut. It was his fault… He had ruined Han Guan's life. "Look, I'm sorry. I really am, but the gem it was taken from my family, and I had er to bring it back to them." It wasn't technically a lie… Well it was, but it was mostly truth.

Han Guan then hugged him round the neck so hard it choked. "You have no idea how helpful you were! Back in Japan I was a laughing stock! But here noone gave two claws about who's tail I was! If it weren't for you I'd still be wasting my time acting as a guard!"

Saras blinked at what felt like the wolverine's utter stupidity. He had gotten him kicked out of the first place that felt like home. Surely Han Guan should have been infuriated?

Then Safi Tamod walked past and winked at him. "Never thought you'd like a foreigner. Catch you later!"

Han Guan looked from Saras, who he was still hug-choking, to Safi Tamod. The ugly cat walking into the ladies washroom. Han Guan looked like he wanted to say something, but Saras pulled himself free of the choke-hug.

"Don't ask." Saras replied.

"Why?"

"Well it started when I accidentally walked into the girl's bathing house."

* * *

 _Footnote: And that's two out of three, and a bit of bonding. The joke of Saras' fake names was originally made by Master Crane to Chi in the Five... But since that rework isn't going to keep that scene I decided to use it here instead_.


	6. The Gift, Latrine and Competitors

"My name is Mulaohu."

Badr eyed her weapon with greater curiosity than he had for her. For one it was twice as tall as her, a massive Jian blade with a large weight for a pommel. Surprisingly it's wielder wasn't stooping at the tremendous weight. Her clothing was simple. A dark green cloak and lighter green vest with even lighter green pants, and bandages patterned with green leaves on her feet and paws. She was a Chongqing dog, and wore a grin Badr associated with the foolhardy idiots who never stopped smiling.

"Mulaohu… An interesting name. Please, sit down." After Jiao'ao's visit Badr had collected another chair for the competitors to sit on. It was a kitchen stool. "That's a big blade." Badr said.

Mulaohu grinned even wider as she breathed a sigh of relief. "I was worried it wouldn't be big enough. Master Tianqi told me to taken the smallest in my collection."

Badr blinked. "Master Tianqi?" That name was familiar.

"You know him?" She asked.

"Hmm, is he a horse by any chance? Would be in his sixties by now? Sucks at proverbs?"

"So you do know him!" She exclaimed, her tail wagging happily.

Badr smiled too, and for once it was almost genuine. "We competed once alongside each other. Back in the day you know."

"Oh yeah! He told me he regretted it though. He said it was like giving a worm a book."

"Do you have any idea what he meant by that?"

"Uh…not really."

* * *

"It felt like home but it wasn't. While I was there I loved it, but the second I left I realized I had tried to replace family… And then I was grateful you, Saras-san got me out of there. Albeit unintentionally."

Saras remembered the last Japanese he had met. The tanuki spy sent to recruit him. He too had called him Saras-san…in the end. "What does that mean? Putting 'San' at the end of a name? Or 'kun'?" He asked half-heartedly, still more focused on finding Yei.

"Well 'sama' is to give respect to someone you recognize as superior. 'Dono' is for giving respect to a superior without renouncing your position. 'San' recognizes someone as an equal. And 'chan' is for the young ladies. Then there's 'kun'. It's like calling someone 'kid' but is deragotory-"

"Derogatory".

"If you use it on someone who's fully grown."

Saras nodded, searching for the faintest trace of the glowing red gem, which was not, apparently, hidden underneath a rug.

* * *

"Ah, there's the jackal I was waiting for!" Badr grinned, and made himself busy with the sake again, pouring Dianbo a large glass of the stuff.

The jackal eyed it with a frown. "I don't drink." Came his voice with his Indian accent.

"Of course not." Badr replied. None drinked… Why did none drink? He took a sip himself and eyed the jackal. "I haven't forgotten what you did for me. It is an honor to meet you again."

"The honor is all mine. My master once spoke of you."

"Who was your master?"

"Master Flying Rhino." There was a sinking feeling in his gut. How many of his former rivals had refused his invitation and sent a student instead? How many had spoken about-

"He said you were an excellent fighter. I look forwards to seeing this, if I can."

Badr grinned. "Oh of course you'll see me in action! But it's you I want to see. A student of flying rhino, son of a ksatriya of India and soon to be this tournament's champion." Badr raised his cup. "To certain victory."

Dianbo smiled bashfully. "I'm not sure it's certain."

* * *

"What are you looking for!?"

"Nothing!" Saras snapped, his head now analyzing a low-hung chandelier from atop Han Guan's head.

"You suck at uso, you know that right?"

"I suck at something I don't know the meaning of. Perfect. Han give me a boost." The wolverine pushed him further upwards, so that half his body was now lying on the swaying chandelier.

"I swear you could terrepotto. Why do you need me to lift you into a chandelier?"

Despite the Japanese he knew that terrepotto most likely meant teleport. "This way's more scrutinizing, and I need to make sure that the whole thing won't collapse under my weight."

"You're not that heavy-"

"Then stop complaining about lifting me up!"

* * *

"Ah think this is all quite dumb to be hanest."

"Do you?" Badr's annoyance had increased ten fold as the fat crocodile squashed the poor stool. He wore a very baggy set of pants, and was about the same size and girth as a small elephant. He was hunched greatly by the small office.

"Yeah, ah do. Ah thinks ya could just give me that proize and we'd all get some moar time."

Badr glared at Wong with hatred. "How dare you mock this tournament! It's all about giving people a fair chance! I won against all odds!"

"Yeah, its a pidy you didn't think about asking for the proize beforepaw." The large lizard sniffed. "Could ah have meself some sake please?"

"No! Get out!" Two more… Two idiots left to interview. Badr sighed. This would never end.

* * *

"You know if someone finds us they'll think strange things." Han said, holding one paw over his nose, and the other around the fox's tail, the fox himself was lowered into a latrine.

"I don't care what they think." Saras replied, his voice sounding wheezier as his paw too, was pinching his nose shut.

"Whatever you are looking for, I doubt you'll find it in there." Han continued.

"Yeah, well I checked everywhere else." Was Saras' indignant reply.

Han Guan sighed. "Just tell me when you're done. If anyone sees me like this-"

"Then make sure the door's locked and stop talking."

Han Guan tapped his foot against the floor impatiently.

"Okay, pull me up." Just as Han was about to pull him up, the door swung open on his foot, he let out a yowl of pain, dropped the fox and hopped around yelling swear words, while the servant apologized and went for the latrine next door.

Saras clambered out, looking filthy and glared at Han Guan. "I told you to lock the door." He seethed.

* * *

"Forgive me, I don't know how to pronounce your name."

"Ba-bi-ra-su. It's not common, but pretty simple."

"And you are a babirusa? I see where the inspiration came. You modified your species' name slightly and got a unique one for yourself. Impressive."

Babirasu shrugged. "It's simple."

Badr nodded. "So where do you come from? Who taught you?"

"Well I taught myself most of what I can do. And I come from Mongolia."

"I heard it's cold there."

Babirasu shrugged. "The cold never bothered me anyways. You get used to it after a while."

"So what do you hope for this tournament?"

Babirasu shrugged. "I hope I find something interesting here."

Badr grinned. "I'm sure you'll find this all very interesting."

Babirasu shrugged. "I hope so."

Badr stifled a yawn. "I have one last interview. I'm sorry, but there's little time left. Send in the last one."

Babirasu nodded. "Of course."

He left. It was in there. All he had to do was get in and get it out. He allowed himself a smile. He had practically told the cat, to his face what he wanted. Well he had found something interesting. He turned the corner and saw Saras wiping himself with a white towel, now stained an ugly brown, his dirty clothes were in a pile, being held at arm's length by a wolverine, as he tried to make himself look presentable, all while he wore a large, fluffy, pink towel.

His laugh made the fox glare.

"This isn't funny!"

The babirusa doubled over with even more laughter. Saras threw the now dirty white towel onto Han Guan's paws. "Go wash that!" He snapped, hot and ashamed. Han Guan, looking subdued, scampered off with the load.

Babirasu had finally stopped laughing. "It's your interview now." He then walked away, holding back chuckles.

Dread filled the fox like water in a bucket. He stunk of the contents of a latrine, rather literally. He had a bloody nose from the library and a black eye from Lang and he was wearing a ridiculous pink towel. Mentally jumping off a bridge he walked towards Badr's office.

Badr had to control every fur in his body to remain rigid and not do one of three things. Firstly he wanted to laugh, this one looked ridiculous. Secondly he wanted to shout 'get out! This is not a joke!' Thirdly he wanted to cry. Every single competitor had ticked him off, and at the end of it all he had the biggest moron ever to deal with.

"Well. Sit down." Saras eyed the chair Kunjingle had flattened and the stool Wong had squashed like a pancake.

"Um, no thanks." Saras replied.

Badr resisted the temptation to shout. 'That's an order!', and nodded. "So. The last competitor. How well do you think you fare now that you've seen the rest?"

"Uh, I don't know." He hadn't really seen the rest, he hadn't found Yei either. He had really wasted his time. But technically he hadn't searched the office…

Badr frowned. "That's a risky thing. To walk in blind."

"Er, okay?" Saras' eyes were darting around the room and he wasn't even looking towards Badr.

Badr frowned harder. This child wasn't even looking at him? "How old are you?"

"Er seventeen." He was now looking under the chairs, as if he'd dropped something.

Badr glared at him. If only there was a way to guarantee this moron's imminent failure… He eyed his desk.

"I have a gift your you." Badr said, pulling open the drawer.

Saras stood up and his jaw dropped.

It was full of clutter, and there was a large red gem glowing brightly from under several piles of quills and ink and-

The drawer slammed shut, and Badr handed him a woefully unimpressive wooden necklace, with a long snout and carved mouth like that of a lizard, and two rubies for eyes so that it looked like a lizard's skull, grinning up at him.

Saras continued to stare at the place where Yei had been. Maybe he could overpower Badr and take the gem by force? If he could leave the palace he would be safe. He could go back to the Bat Cave and hide out. Badr Tamod would do his best to get it back, but not many knew he was a shapeshifter. Han Guan knew, but it wouldn't take much to get him onto his side. He was like Shan Qu in that sense. Babirasu also knew, but wouldn't bring him down, after all Saras could take him down with him.

Just as the wonderful thought began to become a plan, Badr whistled and held the necklace in front of his eyes. The wooden thing looked like a lizard's skull.

"I don't want it." Saras said immediately, but Badr merely handed it to him.

"Good luck Mr Can Do-"

"Kanbu. It's Kanb-"

Badr pulled the door open so fast it nearly smacked his nose off.

"Just get out." Badr said, all patience gone from his voice.

With a half-hearted glance backwards Saras left, clutching the strange, wooden necklace. He didn't know what to make of Badr… Then again he had spent his whole day interviewing people.

* * *

 _Footnote: And that's the interviews lined up. Last minute entrance of Mulaohu, who belongs to kajjyngna. Tianqi will also be making an appearance in this story, and he too belongs to kajjyngna. Enjoy, the tasks soon begin!_


	7. Arrival to the Arena

" _Gooooood_ Morning!" The Lis chorused into his ears. Saras sat up so quickly his head smacked into the wooden bunk on top of him. He fell back down, rubbing his forehead and groaning loudly. The Lis were cackling at his sides.

"What was that for?"

"Just saying good morning." They chorused happily. "That and the tournament starts in an hour, so we have to head out to the arena. So we decided to drag you along for the fun. Now get dressed." Unceremoniously dumping his now clean clothes on top of him the two rabbits left to prepare themselves.

Saras narrowed his eyes. The gem was inside Badr's office, he had to sneak out of the task, perhaps loose on purpose and get going? He would be the chief suspect but he would be long gone by then and he doubted even Lang could take on the whole Bat Cave once he had reached them.

A few minutes later everyone in his dorm was dressed and ready. Jiao'ao looked nervous, Dianbo was scowling. Kunjingle was yawning. Li I and Li II were talking quickly. Reidak was stretching, Lang was glaring, Han Guan was looking confident. Jiao'ao had his large sword ready, Dianbo his whip, Lang his spear, the Lis had their fans and darts, Reidak his batons, Han Guan had clunky bits of metal around his elbows and knees. Kunjingle was unarmed and Saras was checking his hidden-bladed hat, his Talon Claws, his pair of knives and a pair of daggers with jade spines. He was stalling, waiting for them all to leave, but they stood there.

As Saras pretended to be pondering whether lr not to take the bow and it's arrows (no, definetly not… He had made the arrows and they were awful and he was an awful shot), Lang suddenly barked.

"Can you hurry up?!"

Saras jumped into the air, his fur standing on end. "What? Er-um, I uh-"

"Close your mouth, and hurry up." He said in the same tone as he would utter a death threat.

Saras gulped and went to join the Lis and Han Guan as the rest filed out.

"How come you waited for me?" He asked with a twinge of annoyance. He could have snuck off while everyone else had been in the arena.

Jiao'ao turned and gave him a look. "They have to organize us, and it's easier to do that by dormitory."

"Yeah, we didn't exactly like watching you mend your hat." Li I added.

"Kinda… Boring?" Li II finished.

Saras frowned… He should have known it wouldn't be this easy.

The group reached the outside of the palace, and found a white carriage waiting for them. One white carriage. Grimacing, they clambered in. Kunjingle took up half of the seats on one side, with Han and Dianbo sharing the other half. Opposite them sat Reidak and Lang, both of whom had a wide girth of space as noone was about to argue over space with them. That left Jiao'ao, the Lis and Saras squeezed into a corner.

Nobody spoke as the carriage rattled towards the arena. Han was staring at his feet with determination. Dianbo was not moving. Jiao'ao looked like he wanted to chew a feather. Kunjingle looked intrigued by them all. Reidak was apparently emotionless and Lang looked as angry as usual. Li I and Li II looked disapprovingly at the silence.

"Did someone die?" He asked innocently. Almost everyone jumped in their seats at the sudden noise.

"Yeah. We're going to a funeral!" Li II replied, with so much enthusiasm you'd think a funeral was a birthday party.

"It'll be your funeral if you don't stay quiet!" Lang barked.

"Did you ask me to shut up?"

"Yes! Now shut up!"

"Why don't you make me!"

Lang stood up-considering he wasn't much taller than the rabbits it was not as threatening as the death glare he gave them.

"I will make you!"

"I knew it! We are going to a funeral!" Li II said.

"Yours!" Echoed Li I.

Lang lunged, at the same time the carriage took a wild turn and knocked him off balance, so that his fist hit Jiao'ao instead. He fell back into his seat as the carriage turned again.

Jiao'ao rubbed at his beak. The punch had hurt a lot.

"Why are you always in a bad mood?" Li I asked. "Would it kill you to not be angry about something?"

Lang's glare intensified. "Would it kill you to keep your jokes out of a conversation?"

"Yes! Yes it would!" Li II replied.

Lang looked ready to lunge again, and probably would have if Reidak hadn't thrown a conversation in his way.

"Who can guess where I'm from?" He said casually, though with a kind of threatening undertone that implied one had to answer the question.

"Russia." Han and Saras both answered. He gave them a look-though how he did this with a bandana round his eyes noone knew.

"I know both of you don't I?" He pointed a finger at Han Guan. "You're the Silver Fang guard, aren't you?"

"Yes, and you're Reidak-san." Han replied sheepishly.

Reidak nodded. "You sound the same. And smell the same as well."

"Is that a good thing?" Han Guan asked, wondering whether or not that had been meant in a rude way.

"And you." Reidak now looked at Saras. "Are the thief."

The others were eyeing the trio with great curiosity, except Lang, he was still glaring at the Lis.

"Yes- I was the er-thief." Saras replied, his mind racing for a hundred different excuses.

"Guess where I'm from." Dianbo challenged, smiling slightly.

Kunjingle made a noise like an explosion.

Dianbo raised an eyebrow. "Um, I don't think so."

"Huh, your accent's misleading." Li I said, a paw on his chin, eyes narrowed.

"Yeah. I swear you sound Indian." Li II piped up.

"But I am Indian." Dianbo replied, thoroughly confused.

"So Kunjingle guessed right?" Li I said.

Dianbo blinked. "What?"

"He guessed India and you said you didn't think so." Came Li II.

"You understand him?" Dianbo asked, shock clear in his voice.

"Well yeah."

"Like that's special."

Kunjingle agreed by making a kind of popping whistle, before snapping his claws.

The two looked around at the group's stunned faces, save for Lang (who was still glaring) and Kunjingle (who looked at the group with the Li's confusion).

"So, guess who I am?" Jiao'ao said after a long pause.

The group went about looking at him scrutinizingly.

"Hmm, your name is Jiao'ao."

"That means 'proud'."

"You must have had terrible parents."

"Or been an orphan." The Li's speculated.

Jiao'ao looked smug. "I'll give whoever finds out a gold coin-solid gold."

Saras stared at the peacock. He didn't want money-but he was curious, clearly the peacock was someone, or thought he was someone, famous.

"So we're meant to know who you are?" Han Guan asked.

Jiao'ao smirked. "Well you three," he pointed at Dianbo, Han Guan and Reidak. "Are foreigners, so I don't really expect you to know. But the others probably should."

"If you were a Kung Fu Master, I'd know you. If you were a general , I'd know you. If you were royalty, I'd know you." Li I listed.

"If you're a scholar, I've never heard of you. If you're an author I've never heard of you. If you're a doctor, I've never heard of you." Li II continued.

Saras slumped. He had no idea who this peacock was. He really needed to further his education…

The carriage stopped. And the door opened. They clambered out, one by one, Saras last of all and they stood outside an arena, throwing them all into a shadow.

Badr was there, waiting. A moment later another carriage arrived. Out clambered Wong, Ji Rou, Naan, Hong Ze, Babirasu, Wugu, Ba and Mulaohu. How they had all fitted inside the carriage was mind-boggling.

Badr smiled widely. "Ladies and gentlemen. Before me stands a great number of challengers. Great though you all may be, by the end of today, only twenty will return to the palace with me, to compete further! Having you all battle it out would be too complex. So I have prepared a task that will test you on both combat. And balance. Please follow me."

They filed in after him, up a dark stairway, down a dark corridor filled with doors. Every time they passed a door Badr would tell a competitor to enter. Little by little their numbers dwindled. Saras watched Han leave and was left alone, following Badr through the darkness. They reached another door.

"I will explain more when the audience arrives. Just wait in there and when you hear fireworks, come out." He smiled at Saras. "Good luck." Saras turned, but Badr caught him by the shoulder and spun him around. "You left this in your dormitory." He was dangling the wooden lizard-skull in his face.

Saras picked it up and slung it around his neck. "Don't loose it again."

Saras nodded. He walked in through the door. It closed behind him and there was a click and Saras realized that he had no way of getting back out. He frowned at the wooden lizard-skull necklace... Thing. What was Badr playing at with it? He let it drop to his chest and placed a paw on the door handle. Waiting for fireworks.

* * *

 _Footnote: Hello! So next chapter we get the First Task. So my question is do you know how the characters look like?_


	8. The Task on Ropes

With a shriek like a banshee and a sudden explosion, the fireworks went off. Saras took a breath to calm his nerves, which were beginning to go haywire. The fox went through the door, and found himself on a marble podium, a long rope stretched out from between his podium and the mini-platform built around a long pole in the center of the arena. Standing to his right, looking like he was staring at a ghost was an extremely pale Han Guan. To his left there stood a lion he had not seen before.

Then a new voice came.

" _GOOOOOD MORNING LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! My name is Chaonao and my job is to provide a birds-eye view of this tournament!"_

There was a brief to, in which Saras noted the speaker was a parrot. He wore a bright red jumper that matched his beak and talons, and added further contrast to his bright green feathers.

 _"Really? Noone laughed at that? Come on! It was a good pun! SQUAWK!"_

Many competitors were eyeing their ropes with a keen interest, curiosity was evident in the majority of the faces.

 _"Right! Our competitors have got one job! Do not hit the ground. Your goal is to be the last animal standing. The last twenty to fall are all through to the next round. You have ten minutes to get off your podium-coz after that the ropes are getting snapped off and anyone still where they started is disqualified! So cross the rope and get onto the platform then glue yourself to it. SQUAWK!"_

Jiao'ao frowned-he had just spotted a pretty massive loophole, which despite being a bird didn't apply to him.

 _"And no flying! Sorry birdies but that's my job!"_

Han Guan gulped and crawled to the edge of his podium, staring down at the arena below with obvious fear.

Dianbo took a deep breath, he could do this.

Lang glared at the opponents that flanked him- enough to make them both cower.

Li I gave Li II an overcomplicated aerial high five, which was returned in perfect sync.

Kunjingle whistled, clapped his paws together and rubbed them together rapidly.

Reidak cracked his knuckles. This didn't look too difficult.

 _"What are you all waiting for!? SQUAWK! Do something already why don't you!"_

It was as if everyone needed a moment to know what to do next. Then everyone seemed to do everything at once. It was chaos, but Chaonao described it better than anyone else.

 _"We have got lanky lion slipping and ooh,right in the chopstick! And he's down! That's the first one- wait looks like- yup another one falls and he's stuck in the ground horns-first! Talk about bad luck!"_

Han Guan steeled himself. He stood up, eyes shut tightly. "IcandothisIcandothisIcandothisIcandothis"- He opened his eyes and went back to hugging the floor. "ICAN'TDOTHIS!"

 _"YES YOU CAN! SQUAWK!"_

Reidak was in his element, balancing on the rope was like tight rope walking, and he had done it with greater stakes than a tournament! It was not like tight rope walking in that he was surrounded by others wishing to take him out and make it across.

Li II launched himself into a bull's face, going down with a loud ' _WHEEEEE_!" shile the bovine yelled and Chaonao shouted _'That's the spirit!"_

Jiao'ao expanded his train, which served to keep him steady as his talons gripped tightly to the rope under him.

Saras set foot on the rope and lost balance immediately, falling off completely. He'd have been out of the count if he hadn't teleported to the rope next to him, which he clung to for dear life, inadvertedly causing the komodo to whom the rope belonged to, to loose balance and fall. Saras breathed a sigh of relief. He needed to get to the next task so that he could rob Yei from Badr's office. But something felt fishy about it. It seemed too easy, and why would Oogway hand it to Badr for protection in the first place? He needed to do more digging. And to do that he knew he had to stick to the rope like glue.

Ji Rou was amongst the more nimble and practically hopped her rope down, easily making her the closest to the platform.

Until a hissing sound told her her rope was on fire. In the last minute she grabbed it as it snapped, pulling her into the pole with powerful force.

 _"And the black fox is still the closest to the platform! I mean she is right under it!"_

Babirasu set light to the ropes around him with fireball after fireball, easily eliminating at least five other competitors.

"IcandothisIcandothisIcandothisIcandothis!" Han Guan placed a single finger on the rope, which wobbled all of a sudden and he hastily withdrew it as if worried he would loose a finger. "ICAN'TDOTHIS!"

 _"YES YOU CAN!"_

Lang's first order of duty had been to use the long reach of his spear to cut off the rope of the opponents flanking him, one hadn't even begun moving, the other swung with his rope and crashed into the sand, eventually skidding to a halt. Lang then began walking along the rope, almost casually.

 _"Getting smacked down by the little guy… Bet that obliterated his ego as well as his face!"_

Kunjingle had almost decided to sit this one out, he was too big for something like this. But he noticed Lang's opponent crashing into the sand and got an idea. He swung onto his rope and with tremendous effort heaved himself forwards-resembling an extremely overweight monkey as he did so. He only had to get to the halfway point.

The first time Li I had tried tight-rope walking had been in Suna, the rope had snapped under his weight and he had swung into a building head-first. This time it was easier, not only because his balance had improved, but also because this rope could hold more than a rat's weight.

Naan's eyes caught Reidak, three black dots spun over his yellow eyes as he assumed the tiger's stance and with the same almost casual walk, began to move across the rope.

Mulaohu was taking it as a training excercise, her huge sword hanging out behind her to keep her balance steady.

 _"And the yellow monkey is the first to get onto the platform and- yup he's down"_

Lang had reached the platform second and had begun by kicking the first person he saw, right off. Then he twirled his spear and looked twice as menacing as he cut off one rope, letting the cheetah balancing atop it, fall with a scream.

Speed suddenly overtook balance in importance. Lang was slicing ropes with ease. He had cut the twelfth one when Ji Rou aimed a roundhouse kick at his head. He had trained far longer than she had, and ducked, letting her kick fly over him, he then responded by slamming the butt of his spear onto her other foot and twisting the shaft so that the bag of rocks slammed into the side of her head.

 _"Things are getting hot over here! And I'm not just talking about the guy on fire! Wait, someone's on fire?! Somebody comment, quick!"_

Babirasu had missed a fireball aimed for a bovine's rope, instead he hit the bovine's foot, making the takin fall off with a yell.

 _"Oh yeah SQUAWK! That's my job."_

Dianbo reached the platform in time to catch Lang's foot in his whip, and pull the red panda into a spin kick, while Ji Rou was using the red panda's tactic and cutting ropes with a long, metal needle.

Hong Ze held onto the rope. Any moment now and his plan could go into action.

Han Guan was steeling himself again. "IcandothisIcandothisIcandothis." Both of his paws tightened around the rope. "I CAN DO THIS!"

 _"YES YOU CAN! DO IT! YOU CAN FLY! Sorry, got carried away!"_

Then the ropes suddenly shot out of the competitor podiums, and swung towards the platform pole. Jiao'ao gave a loud 'squawk' that could have been mistaken for Chaonao as he swung into the pole, his beak getting buried into it. Reidak was close enough to try and jump to the platform, his claws dug into the wood as he caught himself on it. Saras' back crashed into the pole, he was dazed, but still clutching the rope. Han Guan was screaming loudly and collided with Hong Ze mid air, both then were spinning madly from collision, and the elk's screams had joined the wolverine's. Naan had tried to copy Reidak, but was not as close to the platform, instead he burried a pair of bone blades into the pole. Wong and Kunjingle collided mid-air, the bear knocking the crocodile off the rope and letting him fall through the air. He was saved, accidentally, by Ba, who's cloak billowed about him menacingly as he held on to Wugu's jar. He sent Wong flying into the pole, where he managed to grab hold of a fox tail. Saras hollered as the fat crocodile threatened to rip his tail off. Babirasu slipped off his rope but caught another one on his way down. Then Kunjingle hit the platform and the whole thing shaked at the force. Lang, Dianbo and Ji Rou all lost balance, with the fox slamming her needle in to prevent her from falling off. Dianbo threw his whip out in front of him and it curled around the pole, keeping him on, and Lang snatched his tail, preventing the red panda from being eliminated. Mulaohu swung into Li I, knocking him off his rope, but the rabbit caught her flailing leg and clung on desperately. Ba caught himself on the platform and held on to it with one arm and both legs. Soon the chaos had ended.

 _"I told you! Ten minutes in and the ropes come off! Hard to keep track of time isn't it?"_

Then Wong tugged at the fox's tail, trying to grab Saras's rope. The sharp pain made the kit let go instead, and soon they were falling. Saras kicked at Wong, who pulled him down. A moment later Saras realized what was going to happen. He was going to hit the sand first and provide a cushioning for Wong. He teleported out of the crocodile's grip, and swapped forms into a hummingbird. Wong hit the ground with a crash and Saras flew up to the platform. He changed forms again. Noone had noticed, still struggling with righting themselves. Chaonao had been busy with Wong.

 _"And the fat croc is the first to head for the next round! I'd worry about him, but with all that pudge to break his fall I'm surprised he didn't bounce right back up!"_

Saras felt relieved. He had done it. He was through to the next round. He would sneak off and steal Yei then.

Then all the ropes were pushed off the platform. Han Guan crashed into Hong Ze again, and landed on top of the elk, dazed.

 _"I told you you could do it! SQUAWK!"_

Then Babirasu landed on top of the wolverine.

Mulaohu landed on top of Li I, who couldn't hold on to her foot when the rope fell, but then Kunjingle landed on top of her.

 _"Chongqing and rabbit pancake anyone? It's bear pressed!"_

Mulaohu responded by kicking the bear off of her, already quite an impressive feat, then rising to her feet and dusting herself off.

Li I sat up and shook himself. At least it was better than last time.

Ba climbed down with Wugu, and put his jar down on the fish' waiting cart.

"That was fun. We should do it more often." The fish commented.

Jiao'ao decided it was also safer to let himself down, and pulled himself out of the pole. Expanding his train and wings he glided around the pole in a wide circle. Until Saras crashed into his back and brought them both to the ground in a heap.

 _"That's what you get for trying to be fancy!"_

Naan slid down the pole, landing on his feet he began to walk away epicly, until Jiao'ao and Saras landed on top of him.

Saras sat up, somewhat dizzy. He hadn't seen who had hit him, but they had done a good job of it. Still, at least he was through.


	9. As It Continues

There were now seven of the competitors left. Ji Rou, Reidak, Dianbo and Lang were all still on the platform, one lion was clinging on to the wooden pole with his claws, while a wolf hung onto his belt. A slow lorris was hanging upside down under the platform and lastly a pig was trying to get onto the platform.

He never made it on as Dianbo accidentally trod on his hooves as the jackal dodged the red panda's spear.

" _Six competitors left, in case you left you never learned to count! I didn't! SQUAWK!"_

Ji Rou slammed her needle into the platform and heard a yelp of pain as the slow lorris fell from his perch.

On their way down the simian snatched at the wolf's tail and dragged them both down. Unfortunately, the wolf also took the lion's belt down with him, and left the feline with his underwear showing for all to see.

Chaonao laughed louder than anyone, after all it was his job to be loud. _"That was-that was p-hahaha-priceless! Hahahaha!"_

The lion dropped out, rather literally.

That left only the competitors on the platform.

It was an interesting four-way-duel in that all participants had an odd kind of weapon.

While Dianbo's blade was merely a whip at first glance, it was far more refined. It was in fact closer to a chain, it's links hidden behind the golden exterior of the weapon. Lang, while using an ordinary spear, had a sack of boulders dangling from it. Ji Rou was fighting with a needle the size of a dagger and Reidak had twin batons in paw. Sparks flew as the metal of the weapons clashed at immense speed, and the fight itself was like a dance, beauty clear in the sharp, sudden movements of the dancers.

Chaonao described it rather less gracefully. _"And Grumpy gives Blindey a black eye, while Blackie whacks Whippy, who's whipped Grumpy! And woah, he's really not happy! SQUAWK!"_

Reidak aimed for Ji Roy's head, but was kicked in the chest by Dianbo, the blow threw him off course and instead he dealt a blow to Lang, who had been aiming for Dianbo (who Ji Rou had just swung at with a formidable roundhouse kick), and retaliated by slamming the burlap sack and it's boulders into the burly tiger's belly.

 _"Grumpy nails Stripey and whacks Whippy, who kicks Blackie, who punches Grumpy, who misses Stripey, who punches Whippy, who kicks the stickie, aiming for Blackie- ouch that'll hurt the nutty!"_

* * *

The idea seemed ridiculous. Badr Tamod was not a Kung Fu Master, he had not trained under any notable name. He had met Master Flying Rhino, but that was it. Why would the creator of Kung Fu trust him enough to look after Yei, something which had been used as a weapon of mass destruction before? It was absurd. Perhaps it had been stolen from him? But who could have possibly stolen from the Grandmaster? And how did it get to Badr's office after that? Had he stolen it? If it had been stolen then how had it gotten there? And then there was Bei… He remembered that he had found it deep under the Feral Islands and that there had been some giant lizard thing-how had the turtle put it there? When did he find the time to visit? And the Silver Fang... It made little sense for Oogway to hide it with the clan. There was something fishy regarding the gem, but Saras couldn't sniff it out. But it was fishy, very fishy… Just like Wugu, who was staring up at him with his immense green eyes.

"You look confused." The fish said.

"I'm just thinking." Saras responded, deciding that Oogway was just a mad old man who had picked the most unlikely places in the world to hide the gem stones.

"Oh, okay. Do you need help?"

"Uh, not really. I've already figured it out."

"That's good."

Saras nodded, not knowing how to continue the conversation.

"So where do you come from?" Wugu began.

"Er- Imperial City." He lied. "But I have some family in Gongmen." Then he added the lie he had told Han Guan. "And a long time ago we lived in Japan and we-er were thrown out by the Silver Fang, who um stole a precious gem from us which I stole back."

"Oooh, so you're a mugger!"

"Well, I think that is a bi-"

"That's cool. I don't steal things though, mostly I just stay at home with Ba."

Saras nodded.

"So are you going to steal the trophy?"

" _What!?"_ The fish was speaking too loudly, Babirasu had just given him an odd look. "No! I'm not stealing the trophy!" Saras hissed.

"So what are you stealing?" Wugu asked innocently, apparently unaware that stealing was a crime and crimes should have been discussed quietly.

"Nothing!" Saras lied.

"So, you're not a mugger?"

"How about you talk to Han? He's great, I bet you two will get along swell!" The fox, pointed the fish in the direction of the wolverine and gave him a light push in the right direction.

Then another idea came to him. Babirasu was here for Yei, but he didn't know where it was, did he? If he got to it first then the mongols would have it… And that couldn't happen.

"Babi!"

"Oh, hi mugger."

Saras frowned. Had he been eavesdropping the whole time?

"I didn't know you were Japanese, and you have family in Gongmen? I'd really like to meet them sometime."

"Haha, very funny." Evidently he _had_ been eavesdropping the whole time.

Babirasu grinned. "It is actually, you don't know much about the Jit Kun, do you?"

"I know who killed them. I know who raised you. I know where Yei is, I think I know enough."

Babirasu cocked his head to the side, his arms crossed over his chest. Saras realized again that Babirasu was a full head taller than him. "And where might that be? Or do I not deserve to know?"

He was teasing him..."Well, you did let me keep Bei." Saras said, playing for time and feeling a small bubble of guilt inside of him as he said so. Babirasu had always been honest with him, saved him a couple of times… And out of gratitude Saras was lying to his face. "It's in the palace grounds, there's a fake inside Badr's office he showed me yesterday, but it's not the real thing." Lying badly, true, but he _was_ still lying.

Babirasu nodded. "Thanks for sharing. May the best one win?" He held out a hoof, which Saras shook. Another bubble of guilt grew inside of him, but he popped it. It was for the best, Babirasu would understand.

* * *

 _"That's painful! Oh even more painful! Damn, right in the foot as well! And-foxes can fly everyone! Foxes can fly! Oh SQUAWK! Guess not."_

Ji Rou landed on her paws, and used the momentum of the fall to push herself to her feet, landing gracefully on the sand, and looking only disappointed. Naan and Hong Ze were quick to flank her, and silently the trio strolled into a corner, where they began discussing quietly.

* * *

Badr watched the tournament unfold from the Top Box, the best seat. He was flanked by Safi, who looked immensely bored and was checking her pink claws for any defects, and Duyao, who looked immensely unhappy about the whole thing."Safi, your claws are spotless as always. You should pay more attention to the tournament." She gave him a long look, then glanced at the arena, where Dianbo aimed for Lang's head with his whip, the red panda ducked and Reidak took the blow instead, promptly nailing Dianbo on the side with his billy club.

She looked back at her nails. "Boring. None of them are good-looking."

Lang was scarred, Dianbo was skinny and Reidak was blind. Badr sighed. "But they're fighting prowess is an art."

Dianbo promptly nailed Reidak between the legs, the tiger promptly stuffed his billy club down the jackal's mouth.

"I think I'll pass." She said, turning back to her claws.

Badr turned to Duyao, who glared at him. "Kids these days. Have you got any?"

Her face darkened dangerously. "None."

"That's unfortunate." He muttered and turned away from her.

 _"And Whippy's choking on the billy club, and Grumpy's tied to the stick, while Stripey's doing the choke manouever!"_

Reidak forced Dianbo to throw up the now slimy-coated billy club, and then received a stomp on his foot as thanks.

"Don't bully the diamond! Let me through!" A figure walked into the top box.

At sixty-four Tianqi had changed both very much and very little. The proverb was incorrect, the horse had been looking for 'don't bully the dragon'. He was taller than he had been at fourteen, but looked much the same, with his brown fur and white muzzle and belly. But his outfit had changed. He had once garbed himself in an old brown robe, but now he had invested in more worthwhile clothing. His pants were a flamboyant forget-me-not blue, with turquoise swirls that most likely represented wind. He wore a vest, open to reveal his chest and abdomen, of the same pattern as his pants, save for the darker shades of blue. He also had a rice hat, that shone a golden yellow.

Badr stood up. "Tianqi! Old friend, it has been too long since last we met." The horse backed away from the cat's outstretched paw.

"Don't touch me." The horse's face darkened at the sight of Badr. He frowned at Duyao and the empty seats of the Top Box. "I was under the impression you invited the others."

"Chang Shuimian couldn't make it, unfortunately. Lee has grown too fat to move and Qian and Jian I heard are looooong dead. But who cares about who isn't here? Have you met my daughter? Safi, this is an old friend of mine. Tianqi, this is my daughter."

"Fantastic. I am pleased to meet you." Tianqi bowed at her. She merely rolled her eyes, and continued being bored.

"So Tianqi, I heard you are a Kung Fu Master now. Is it true?" Badr asked, with his most charming smile.

The horse nodded our of politeness and turned to Duyao. "So, why are you here?"

"I'm watching my students compete." She said.

Tianqi nodded again. "Me too." He searched for her in the crowd, and frowned to see her brushing sand off of her. "She hasn't been eliminated, has she?"

Badr smiled. "Not yet."

"Which one is yours?" Tianqi asked the frog.

"He's Wugu." She pointed at the fish, now talking animatedly with Han Guan. "And that's Ba." She pointed at the cloaked figure, who was having a large 'kick me' sign stuck to his back by the Li twins. "They both passed this round."

"Excellent!" Said Tianqi enthusiastically.

* * *

"You're obviously some rich kid." Li I was saying as he and his twin tried to figure out Jiao'ao's identity.

"Yeah. Posh-ey, but not too much. Your mum or dad is some sort of politician."

"Are you related to that family that used to run Gongmen?"

"Gah, what was their name!?"

Jiao'ao only smirked. At this rate they would never know.

* * *

Kunjingle was listening in on Wugu and Han Guan's conversation with keen interest, he had always wanted to see Japan.

"That's really cool. I wish I visited Japan, it sounds so beautiful." Wugu exclaimed, his bright green eyes shining.

"It is!" Han nodded vigorously. "And they love fishes! Daimyo Masuta- he's like the Emperor over the place where I live- he's a fish. And there's this thing called sushi! It is all you'll ever want to eat when you're done with it!"

"You should visit the ocean sometime. I know you can't really breathe, but I could get my friends to swim up to you. And if you know how to swim, we can take you down to this pretty place. And I haven't been there in a long time either! I'm sure you'd love it!"

"Okay Wugu-sama, when this tournament's over we can all go to Japan, and we can take Kunjingle-sama too, if he's willing."

Wugu smiled so happily. "That sounds wonderful."

* * *

 _Footnote: The First Task is still going on! With any luck I can finish this at around the same time as Task Two of Back in the Day, then this fic's a task behind the other. Not bad, eh? I want to start the Second and Third Task's here and there at the same time, since it is basically the same task, but with different characters, but more on that later!_

 _Anyways Tianqi belongs to kajjyngna. And he's here too!_

 _Two things left. So all of you know what everyone looks like, right? I just don't want to be confused. XD Then, are there any fights you want to see? If there are state who vs who. It may happen or it may not happen, but I still want your thoughts!_

 _And nothing else to say here, except that I still love Chaonao. Oh so very much!_


	10. So It Ends

Saras was getting impatient, the three-way combat was still going strong, but from down below, with the sun gleaming in the background the only idea anyone had as to what was going on was because of Chaonao's ridiculous commentary.

 _"Ouch! That should be illegal and oooooh that's just low! Two wrongs do NOT make a right!"_

Understandably noone knew anything.

"Based on these three, I'd say Mulaohu has some good odds." Tianqi commented.

Duyao looked sceptical. "I assume you know her better, but I haven't seen her do much."

Tianqi looked disappointed. "Well, I suppose that makes the next task more interesting. As the saying goes 'don't keep all your biscuits in the brambles'."

"That is _not_ an expression." Safi commented.

"Yes it is! It means to not show off everything you have at once!" Tianqi defended.

Badr was getting sick. Duyao hated him. Tianqi disliked him. Safi was bored. And Chaonao' s squawking was giving him a headache.

He stood up and clapped. He had power, he could use it. He would end this needlessly long fight, right there and then. Fireworks erfupted behind him, gaining the audience's attention, but not Chaonao's or the remaining fighters'.

Dianbo's face was swollen, Lang had a black eye and his tail was crooked and Reidak's jaw was slack and drooling. However, they were still going at it with all they had. Lang ploughed his face into Reidak's gut, the tiger's billy club hit Dianbo on the nose and the jackal's whip caught the red panda, and dealt him a lash on the buttocks. Lang responded by swinging his spear into Dianbo's legs, knocking the jackal to his side, where his whip hit Reidak's toe, the tiger's club then whacked Lang behind the head.

 _"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! SQUAWK! Fight! Fight!"_

Badr's eye twitched in annoyance. How dare they ignore him! "Silence!"

Dianbo spin-kicked Reidak's leg, the tiger lost balance and fell on top of Lang, who then threw him up into the air, caught him by the tail and swung him into Dianbo. The jackal only managed to stay on the platform by wrapping his whip around the pole. He was sent skidding along the pole, Reidak's momentum hurling them around the platform and spinning him back into Lang, who grabbed hold of the jackal's tail. Unfortunately, the added weight was more than Dianbo's grip could take, and together they flew through the air, before falling down spectacularly.

Badr sighed. Well, at least that was one way to end it all.

 _"Aaaaaaaand down they go! So to recap, in first place we have Master Scalie Fattass!"_

He was referring to Wong, who was absent-mindedly picking his nose.

 _"Master Dirty Robe!"_ Hong Ze looked less than impressed by his new nickname, though Naan and Ji Rou were both chuckling.

 _"Master Erection!"_ Han Guan grinned widely, as if there was no greater joy in being called that.

 _"The Flaming Fool!"_ Babirasu frowned.

 _"Brown Rabbit One or Two, can't tell them apart! SQUAWK!"_ It didn't help that Li I and Li II were walking arm in arm.

 _"Master Chongqing! Who-probably-would-have-lasted-longer-if-she-didn't-have-that-big-heavy-sword!"_ Mulaohu smiled anyways.

 _"The Furry Fattass!"_ Kunjingle responded to that with a well-said set of grunts, claps and whistles.

 _"The Hidden Faced Guy! Cause we can't have a tournament without at least one of them!"_ Ba's reaction was not visible to anyone.

 _"The Fish Out of Water!"_ Wugu grinned and waved with his fin.

 _"Master Mummy!"_ Now it was Hong Ze's turn to laugh at his companion's title.

 _"Master Fancy Pants!"_ Jiao'ao looked annoyed. He was not a fancy pants.

 _"Master Brush-tail!"_ Saras was secretly glad he had at least gotten a decent nickname.

 _"Master Broken Hoof! Master Tail-Yanker, Master Pant-Snatcher and Master Ladies Underwear!"_

 _"Master Blackie!"_ Ji Rou expressed no emotion.

 _"And Masters Grumpy, Stripey and Whippy!"_ The trio were still locked together, though not in combat. Dianbo's whip had tightly wrapped around the trio, with Lang still holding Dianbo's tail, and Reidak sprawled over them both.

 _"And with that my dear folks, I must say goodbye! Until next time! SQUAWK!"_

And with one more deafening roar came the crowd's approval.

Saras' impatience was mounting. The crowds were leaving, true, but the competitors were still in the arena, awaiting. Han Guan was still chatting with Wugu, while Ba scowled disapprovingly from a corner, or at least, Saras thought he was scowling. Babirasu was showing off for the Lis, juggling fireballs into the air, while the flames glittered off the rabbit's eyes. Kunjingle and Jiao'ao were having a conversation-or rather Kunjingle was talking and Jiao'ao was listening with a thoroughly confused look plastered to his face. Dianbo, Reidak and Lang were pulling themselves off of each other. Saras' foot was tapping impatiently, he wanted to get this over with. The sooner he could check out Badr's office, the better.

"Well done! Well done all of you!" Came Badr's voice, along with some polite clapping from him and his retinue. Safi was there, looking bored. Saras shifted his position a little to hide behind Wong, the last thing he needed now was to be the center of her attention. But there were two others. There was a frog and a horse he didn't know, the former scowling darkly, the latter grinning madly and throwing Mulaohu a hooves-up.

"Unfortunately, though you all fought valiantly, some of you have fallen and will not be proceeding further. Those of you that have failed, please leave."

Li II grinned and hopped away. Some of the competitors took it less gracefully. A wolf aimed a kick at Han Guan, and caught the wolverine on the leg, forcing him to land on his rump.

"Why you evil, ugly, yellow-belly!" Han launched himself at the wolf's legs, claws outstretched, but was held back by Kunjingle. The wolf laughed and walked away.

Pity found it's way into Saras' heart, along with more guilt. He had brought Han to shame and now the wolverine was nothing more than a joke. The shapeshifter held out his foot and watched with some satisfaction as the wolf fell on his face. The look of gratitude on Han Guan's face only made him feel guiltier.

Badr waited for the wolf to get up and start snarling at the fox, before coughing loudly and giving him a threatening look. He took the hint and left snarling.

The black cat acted like nothing at all had happened. "Now, the next task starts when I'm finished preparing for it. You shall stay at the Palace at all times, in case it starts abruptly. None of you are allowed to kill or harm each other in this period. If I see so much as a scratch on anyone the person responsible is disqualified imm-yes?" Wugu had raised a fin.

"What if it's self-inflicted?"

Badr's eye twitched, and then decided it would be best to ignore the question. "So, you may proceed back to the carts."

 _Finally_ , Saras thought, and he walked straight out. He picked a carriage and got in, and was quickly followed by Li I.

"Hiya!"

"Hello."

The rabbit stretched himself out on the seats opposite him, yawning widely. "So what do you think? Too easy?"

"Well, not exactly." In truth his paws were sore from clutching the rope.

Li shrugged. "I thought it was easy."

"But… Your brother was eliminated." Saras frowned.

Li I grinned widely. "Or was he?" He laughed at the confused look on the fox's face and sat up. "Okay Shifty, I'm going to let you in on a little secret, well it's not exactly a secret-I mean by now everyone already knows-in my village that is. Anyways... He's not my brother."

Saras blinked. Li I then added.

"Dun! Dun! Duuuuuuun!"

"B-but you and him you're-"

"Identical?" Li I laughed again. "We're the same person."

"But-ho-oh." Realization dawned on him. "Duplication Technique?"

"Yup! He is me and I am him." Li I replied, reclining against his seat, arms folded behind his head.

"How did you learn it?" Saras asked, slightly curious. "And why?"

"Because two of me is better than one, duh. And I read it in a scroll. It's pretty simple really." He gave a carefree shrug and silence descended. Until he broke it two seconds later. "So why are you competing?"

"I er-felt like it." Saras responded automatically. "What about you?" The fox asked, covering his tracks.

"It's a long story." Li I chuckled. "Like way, way, way, way, way too long to tell you." Saras nodded. Silemce descended again. Then the rabbit launched into his story. "So basically when I was young and innocent I lived with my mum and dad in this neat little place in a nice little village. But alas, 'twas not my destiny." He fainted dramatically, before bouncing back up. "One day the village was raided and destroyed. I got a pretty big bump on my head but survived. The Imperial Army found me and brought me to an orphanage. But that's not the end! I knew my dad was alive somewhere! All I had to do was find him. And to do that I decided to becone rich and famous! Muahahahaha!"

"That wasn't very long." Was all Saras had the heart to point out. He didn't ask about Li's mother, or point out that anyone could claim to be his father if Li was rich and famous.

Li shrugged. "What did you expect, a book? About me?" He seemed to be on the verge of laughing, until he said. "That's actually not a bad idea. I'll write an amazing book about me! Filled with Kung Fu action, banana smoothies and bad guys!" He was so excited he was standing on his seat and hopping up and down. After a while he seemed to calm down. "But it'll have to wait. After I win this tournament, I'm checking out Japan!"

 _If you win_ , but Saras left that unsaid. He liked the rabbit, even if he was overly optimistic. "Okay. Good luck I guess." Was all he could say.

"Thank you Shifty. Now, how about a card game?" And from out of nowhere he pulled out a large pack of cards.

"Sure." _Just to pass the time until I can get into Badr's office._

 _Three hours later…_

They sat facing away from each other, cards heaped in front of them. They were down to three each, now. Their eyes were narrowed as they stared at each other, the tension was so strong you could practically feel it. Then Li I slammed his cards down one by one on top of each other. "Kangaroo of Hearts, Jumbo of Clubs and Ant of Spades! Take that!"

Saras frowned and dropped his own cards. His Dog of Diamond, Fox of Hearts and Cat of Clubs had seemed like a pretty strong deck, then of course Li had managed a comeback.

He stretched himself, yawning. Then caught sign of the sun.

"What's the time?" He asked, suddenly aware of how much time he had wasted.

"No idea. Another match?" He offered, shuffling the deck without even looking at it.

"No, there's something I need to-"

"You have these in China too?" Came Han Guan's voice, from out of nowhere.

"Yup!" Li I said grinning. "You know Battai?"

"I love Battai Li-sama! I'm the only one in my clan who's any good at it!"

"Shifty move up, Han's playing too!"

"B-but I need to g-g-" He took one look at their pleading faces and sighed. He'd get the gem tomorrow. "Fine, let's play."

And so the cards were dished out.

* * *

 _Footnote: About time I updated something. Sigh, between getting a job and all my other fics to plan and write I almost forgot about this. So I'm back on track with a superior schedule now. To further paralel Back in the Day: The Tournament I'm going to start updating them together around twice a week. The Heist and Black and White get updated whenever I write them. Note this new process begins on December. I will try my best to keep to these guidelines to keep my readers entertained. There are still so many projects I want to do... But anyways for now just enjoy._


	11. Tail of Guan

Battai was all they did for the next three days. Try as he might Saras could not get away from them, and found that with each passing day he had less inclination to do so.

It was a fun game, an adictive game and a game he was slowly improving at. He won when Han and Li I focused too much on each other, but generally was the first one out. Han Guan had not been exaggerating. He was extremely good at it. He had been down to one card, the Dingo of Spades, before pulling a victory after Saras eliminated Li's cards with his Elephant of Diamonds.

"How are you so good?" Li I asked, exasperated after Han had just beaten him and Saras silly.

"I play a lot." Han Guan shrugged, re-shuffling the cards.

The matches kept coming and coming.

Once, when Saras had lost spectacularly, he found the perfect oportunity to steal the gem, after he spotted Badr heading away from the Palace. And now he also had an alibi. Han Guan and Li I were so involved in the game neither so much as looked up after he lied about needing the toilet.

But he didn't go to the toilet, he made a beeline for Badr's office. He scampered up the stairs on all fours, clambering to his feet and then finally skidding to a halt in front of the office door. He looked around the corridor several times, before opening the door.

And bumped right into Safi Tamod.

"Oh-oh sorry!" He exclaimed, taking a few steps backwards.

Her eyebrows were raised. "Why were you trying to get into my daddy's office?"

"Er- I was um looking for your father to tell him a-a-about-"

"You're a guy!"

He almost face-palmed. How had he let the Yin incident slip out of his mind? Well... It wasn't like he was actually trying to remember it… He had several options here. He could bluff his way out of this and act like he had never been to a bathhouse ever. He could grovel for forgiveness. Or he could come clean, take her out and steal the gem. "Well-"

She tried to slap him, but she was a spoilt princess and he was a professional thief. He dodged the blow with ease, before deciding to go for option two.

"Sorry, er it was an accide-"

"There are no accidents!" She shrieked at the top of her lungs, trying to slap him again. He sidestepped the swing and held his paws out in front of him.

"So I walked into the wrong bathhouse... That could happen to anyone." Could it though?

" _Pervert_!" He avoided the next blow with ease, her claws clashed against the marble walls as he put some necessary distance between himself and her. Then she analyzed her claws thoroughly, before shouting louder than ever. "YOU BROKE MY NAIL!" She grabbed a nearby vase and threw it at him.

He caught it, and the one that followed right after. Evidently he had timed his move wrongly. He placed the vases down.

Finally Safi decided that she was unable to hit him, and resorted to ranting in place. "You pervert! You were staring at me the whole time! You could have been-been drooling over me! You are such a-such a-Just wait till my daddy hears! You and your fluffy tail are flattened! You hear me!?"

"How about we talk about this?" He asked, a note of desperation in his voice, if she kept on screaming someone would hear her and come running, and the last thing he needed was Badr Tamod thinking he was a perverted fiend-it didn't exactly help his odds of success.

"Talk? Talk? TALK!? YOU STARED AT MY NAKED BODY YOU PERVERTED-"

Saras cringed away from the memory. To be fair he had looked away as much as he could. He was beginning to think about taking option three…

Then he heard something which made his heart stop. "Safi?" Came the voice of Badr Tamod. "Is something wrong?"

His eyes widened and silently he folded his paws in front of him, wringing them helplessly. He needed to get the gem!

She smirked cruelly at him. "Nothing daddy!"

Relief dived through him faster than a falcon. With a deep breath and a sigh of relief he noted he was sweating.

"Listen fox-face! One of these days I'm going to need you for something. You will show up-or my daddy will know all about your 'accident'!" She smiled widely and skipped off.

Saras scowled. Then smirked. He would be long gone before she could call him back on his word, and he'd have Yei with him too. He was considering taking the gem then and now, but before he could, Badr approached, smiling like his daughter. "The vases go there." He added, pointing at the empty holders, clearly under the impression he was being helpful. Then the office door closed behind him.

Seething, Saras placed the vases back and slowly walked away, snarling his frustrations under his breath as he dragged his tail across the floor behind him.

He took the stairs slowly, frustration filling him to the brim. He had been so close-if not for the damned feline he could already have been on his way out! And how had she gone from yelling to deal-making so fast?

* * *

Badr closed the door behind him and stopped smiling the second he saw a scroll placed on his desk. He didn't even need to open it to know it was from Duyao. Emitting a low growl of frustration the black cat snatched it up. This was the third letter in a row, demanding he meet her in the town. He had no doubt one of her students was dropping them off on her behalf, and was sorely tempted to disqualify both or either just to be rid of the damned scrolls. Well he was not going anywhere! She could see him in his office or during the tasks or not at all! He dumped the letter back on his desk with another growl of frustration and sat down in a bad mood.

* * *

"Hahahaha! Catfish of Clubs beats Armadillo of Hearts, I win!" Han yelled triumphantly.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Li I hollered up at the heavens in what sounded like genuine pain. Then, suddenly grinning, he pointed directly at the wolverine. "I'll just have to beat you another time! Re-shuffle!"

"Okay Li-sama!" And Han Guan got to work, scattering the cards and mixing them back together again.

"What is dis game?"

Both looked up to see Wong, the fat crocodile, squinting down at them and the cards.

"It's an epic game of good luck, skill and strategy!" Li I replied launching into an explenation. "And you have all these cards and you have to get all the other cards in the game-" He was cut off by the croc's next question, this one posed directly to Han Guan.

"Do ah know you?"

Han squinted up at him. "I don't think so croc-san."

"Yer Japanese right?" The crocodile persisted. Then it dawned on the large reptile. "Yer the one that ran!"

Han's eyes suddenly widened and quivered. Scenes flashed through his mind. Two people fighting on a roof, his cousin falling, a loud snap and a low groan of pain. And Han Guan running away. Leaving his clan and everything he had ever known behind.

"Har-har! How's yer friend?" Wong had changed a lot since then. Bulging muscles had turned to sagging fat, but the dumb, cruel smile was ever-present.

Then cold fury came over him, and with a roar of rage Han stood up. "Better than you're going to be! Let's go Wong-kun!" He entered a stance.

Li I blinked. "Oooookay. What just happened?" He looked from the wolverine to the crocodile, waiting for an answer.

He got none. Han Guan extended his claws and swung at the crocodile's head, Wong was just as quick, spinning around and aiming his tail at the wolverine.

Li I caught the tail before it could ruin his stack of Battai. "Not my cards!"

The crocodile just ducked in time to avoid the long claws. He grabbed the paw they belonged to and flung Han to the floor over his shoulder. He then lifted a foot to bring down on the wolverine's nose, but his target got to his feet faster than could be expected, and sliced low. Wong sucked in his belly, but it was not enough to prevent him receiving the blow, five long, thin gashes appeared on his stomach. Before Han Guan could press his advantage strong arms grabbed the back of his kimono and pulled him away.

"What are you doing?" Reidak snapped. "We're not meant to be fighting."

"Don't blame him for it! He started it!" Li I pointed at Wong.

Reidak let go of the calmed Han Guan. "Don't get yourself disqualified." He advised, then turned to Wong. "I reccomend leaving him alone." He said coldly.

"I would take his reccomendation." Li I advised, letting go of the crocodile's tail now that his set of cards were no longer in harm's way.

Wong humphed and walked away.

Reidak nodded to Li I and patted Han on the back. He passed Saras as he left.

"Er-I'm back." The fox announced, hopefully his absence had not been noted.

"Good! Now we can get another match going! Han, you shuffle!" They both turned to Han Guan, who had a very far away look on his face. "Er… If it's not personal or anything…What was that all about?"

"It's nothing." And he took the cards, but the far off look was plastered to his face.

The game was less fun than it should have been. All Saras could think about was when to get his feet moving and break into Badr's office and Han was similarly distant.

After Li I beat them into nothingness he could take the silence no more. "Nothing my fluffy tail! What the hell is wrong with you guys?"

"Nothing." Saras blurted out immediately.

"Everything." Han replied, his voice oddly devoid of emotion.

The rabbit felt his heart melt away. "Don't say that Han. You're really good at Battai and you're still doing good in the tournament."

"Yeah and you...fight good." Saras agreed somewhat lamely, though in his defense he had only noticed Han's mood now.

"Wong's just another Lee. All that comes out his mouth is his stinky breath."

"No. He's right. I ran." Came the unfamiliar monotone.

"Stop being cryptic!" Li snapped. "And hard on yourself!" He added afterwards.

Han Guan sighed.

"I never really knew my father. I don't think I ever met him. And if I did I can't remember. I'm a bastard."

"What did I say about being hard on yourself?"

"No. I mean I am a bastard. A shameful sign of a woman's lack of faith. Or a man's." He shook his head. "Everyone in my clan hated me, and if they didn't, they disliked me. Even my own mother. I was just a sign of her affair. I tried so hard to get their approval. Their attention. Their love… it was all I wanted."

Saras felt guilt stab him like a knife. He had not helped Han's life by getting the wolverine fired. He had probably ruined any chance of redemption… And here he was, playing Battai with him.

"One day me and my cousin were in Tokyo. He was loud, and tough and strong and kind, and he was the closest I had to a friend. Shiza-sama… I looked up to him so much. I was young, this was probably ten years ago now… And then there was a fight and it lead to the roof of a building. And Shiza fell." He sighed sadly. "And I ran. I left everything behind. My clan, my home, my town."

"Wong… Was the guy who ki... Who made your cousin fall?" Li I asked sensitively. Han Guan nodded.

"Then I went through clan after clan, getting kicked out from one door after another. The Silver Fang took me in and-"

Saras knew the rest, and felt another stab of guilt. "It's okay. It wasn't your fault." Not even he knew what he meant by that. The robbery of the Silver Fang or the fate of his cousin. Both, he supposed.

"Yeah man. You can't blame yourself for everything bad that's ever happened to anyone." Li added.

Both Han Guan and Saras breathed deeply, letting their guilt rush out.

"Now, sad life over. Let's get back to something we can all enjoy!" And the cards were dealt out, and while Han Guan didn't cheer up immediately, he did do so after winning again.

* * *

 _Footnote: Don't ask about Battai XD I literally pulled everything out of nowhere with that card game._

 _Now that I think about it though, this story is a lot about introducing characters. So far we have Li I's and Han Guan's back stories. I also decided it's more fun if I space them out a little rather than squeezing all of it into two chapters like I did last time, it makes them stand out a bit more doesn't it?_

 _Now Wong has changed a lot since his first (and only) appearance. Back then he was basically a carbon-copy of Kuai from Tournament of Legends. While I don't think I copied it when I look back I sometimes think that the whole story was a carbonish-copy of ToL... I dunno it just feels a little like that... To me. So I changed Wong. Just as annoying, more dumb and with an accent, though maintaining the cruel streak._

 _Since I'm talking so much about character changes in development I feel like I should mention Han Guan. Now originally he was a pretty plainplain but incompetent villain from the original The Five and Heist and was going to remain so for an entire story and that would be the last we saw of him... Buuuut nope. That was also Tournament of Legends fault. So I more or less forgot about him and was planning on writing a tournament fic of my own. I had read ToL's first few chapters (though not the one that mentioned sening OC), but had no internet. So when I fixed my data a couple of months later... Berserker88 had asked permission to use Han Guan, mainly because wolverines are cool, fortunately, or unfortunately it was too late to submit, but I was reminded of Han Guan's existence, and so incorporated him into my own tournament... And gave him a new everything. So plain villain became bumbling sweetheart, because I didn't have data. The way the world works is amazing, no?_

 _Anyways, I've rambled on so much I think you've forgotten the chapter's content by now XD_


	12. Cream Filling Flying

It was dinner on the fourth day after the First Task. The twenty competitors were spaced as far away from each other as possible in the Great Hall, which wasn't all too difficult considering it's size.

Saras sat next to Li I, opposite Han Guan. The two were, as usual, discussing Battai. Saras had tuned them out, his mind wondering back to Yei and Badr's office.

Babirasu sat in one corner, chewing casually on a large dumpling. Hong Ze, Naan and Ji Rou sat in another, conversing in their usual whispers. Lang was tearing at his food and had a particularly large set of empty space around him. Reidak was sitting with Kunjingle, who was devouring enough food to make anyone else sick. Dianbo was in another corner, politely chewing. Jiao'ao's beak was buried in a large book open on the table in front of him. His food had gone untouched. Wugu was giggling as he talked to Ba, who was also barely eating. Wong was yelling for more sake as a goose servant tried to tell the crocodile that he'd had far too much to drink already.

Saras yawned. It had been the same as always, Battai from dawn to dusk, then a meal and then sleep. He was tired of waiting, yet all he could do was wait. If only he could get the gem. He just needed to get into the office at the right time...

"Aw c'mon! When can I do some Kung Fu action?" Li I exclaimed, accidentally kicking his bowl of noodle soup into the air. It flipped around and landed with a splash atop Wong's head.

The crocodile turned around, looking menacing. Only for Li to burst out laughing at the hair-like noodles dripping from his head.

"Yer think dis is funny?" He grabbed a large pastry filled with peach cream and launched it in the rabbit's direction.

Jiao'ao turned to the next page, eager to read more of 'The Legends of the Yellow Emperor'. Only for a pastry stuffed with peach cream to crash into his head.

Saras wished Li I would stop laughing, but that was all the rabbit could do upon noticing the furious look on the peacock's face. Jiao'ao snatched up his food and catapulted it towards the bunny, who ducked. To everyone's horror the plate hit Lang.

The triad trio crept out silently, not wanting to get involved.

Lang paused for long enough to shake the noodles off his fur. Then threw his own dinner (a humongous dumpling) with enough force to cripple. Jiao'ao threw himself under the table. The giant dumpling hit the wall and ricocheted in a random direction. Kunjingle took the blow to his stomach, and the dumpling bounced again. Mulaohu sliced it in half as it came at her, and both halves crashed into Ba, and threw him back several feet. He grabbed a plate of hot buns and threw it in the general direction of Lang. The hot buns, however, were not glued to the plate, and flew off, nailing the other competitors left and right. Wong yelled as a hot bun landed on his stomach and slid down his pants. Then Li I threw all hopes for peace out the window.

"FOOD FIGHT!" He snatched up both Han's and Saras' dinners, and threw them in opposite directions.

Dianbo kicked his table over and ducked behind it as a volley of steaming dumplings crashed into it. Lang was taking it a bit too seriously and repeatedly whacked Wong on the head with his serving platter. Mulaohu-ever the enthusiast- grabbed a whole wok of hot soup and threw it at Han Guan, who yelled loudly and leapt a foot in the air. Kunjingle caught a bean bun in his mouth, and swallowed it whole, before throwing a tray of dumplings in Reidak's direction.

* * *

"Ah, Duyao. How are you?" Badr asked, smiling.

"I'm fine." She growled.

"Hmm… Are you sure you're okay?" His thick fake smile was beginning to hurt.

"I'm fine."

"What do you want?"

Duyao opened her mouth, only for a goose servant to crash through the door. "Sir! It's the competitors! They're-they're-"

Badr took the excuse at once. "I'll be there in a minute. Now, the Second Task begins soon. I'd like you to join me on the judging panel."

She blinked, taken aback by the sudden request. And before she could react Badr had already left.

She growled and slammed a fist into the table. He was not going to worm his way out of this!

* * *

Reidak launched a tray of sticky dumplings at Mulaohu, who parried with the flat of the blade, before she picked up a banana, squeezed it's end and shot out the flesh like an arrow from a bow. The fruit missed Dianbo by an inch, and hit Li I in the stomach. A large dumpling crashed against the side of Lang, and knocked him off Wong. Han Guan's claws had all sorts of food stabbed into it, so that they resembled shish-kebabs. The wolverine was presently slapping the wolf's cheeks with his food-coated claws. Kunjingle threw an entire table loaded with soup at the pig and slow lorris. Jiao'ao crawled out from underneath the table only for a creamy, yellow pudding to dribble onto his head.

He snatched up a kettle of tea, and spilled all of it in a wide arc around him, catching Ba, Saras and Wugu's fish jar. Li I got up, picked up a creamy-puff and threw it at Kunjingle. It bounced off the bear's belly and flew towards the door-just as Badr strolled into the chaos.

The food fight came to an immediate hault, save for Lang, who was still beating Wong over the head with a tray of cakes. The banging became very loud all of a sudden, as were the crocodile's yelps of pain.

Badr pulled the creamy puff off his face and threw it at the floor. He looked livid.

"Who is responsible for this?" He said, in a voice too quiet to be safe.

Even Lang stopped hitting the now bruised reptile.

The silence was deadly. Badr was thoroughly tempted to disqualify them all on the spot… but that ruined the whole point of hosting a tournament.

"Get out of my sight!" He yelled, spit shooting out his mouth.

The competitors didn't need to be told twice and a moment later all that was left was the mess of a food fight.

A few minutes later Li I, Jiao'ao, Kunjingle, Han Guan and Saras arrived, breathless, at their dormitory. Then after they regained their breath Jiao'ao glared at Li I.

"Tell me, in what way does starting a food fight help anyone?"

"It was funny! You should have seen Wong's face when I threw a chili at him!" The rabbit defended, stifling his own laughter.

Jiao'ao looked ready to strangle him. But kept his temper and marched to his bed, pulled a towel out of his bag and was about to march away when Li called after him.

"Hey wait up! You're not the only one that looks edible!" Li I was pulling a large, multi-coloured towel out his bag and a pair of swimming trunks.

Half an hour later Saras was wondering how Li had managed to get them all to join him in their swimwear-or pants if they had none. He also noted that the boy's bathhouse was simpler than the girls, with no perfume or giant mirror. The rabbit was currently splashing around arguing feverently about Battai. Kunjingle was relaxing with his eyes closed and Jiao'ao was furiously wiping away at the yellow cream that had spilled over him. Saras also noted that the tub had looked better before they had all jumped inside-there had certainly been less food inside of it.

"The Peafowl of what?" Jiao'ao asked, catching a few words of Li's last sentence.

"The Peafowl of Hearts, Jiao'ao-san." Han Guan answered.

When he still looked bewildered Li I explained further. "It's from Battai."

Jiao'ao blinked. "What's Battai?"

Both looked as if he had just declared that the sun was a lemon. Then Li I launched into the explanation.

"So you have your set of cards and you deal them out, and you have to get all the cards in the game."

Kunjingle clicked his fingers and drummed his belly.

"See! He gets it!" The rabbit added, exasperated. "What kind of poor soul doesn't know what Battai is?"

Jiao'ao frowned. "The kind that has better things to do with their lives." He remarked, sounding incredibly pompous.

Li I sent a splash of water in his direction. "Like reading?"

The peacock scoffed. "Yes like reading. It develops the mind and-"

"Is boring unless you get fifty fight scenes or it's funny enough to make you laugh out loud." Li I finished.

"Actually Li-san, reading can be fun. Have you ever seen a manga before?"

Jiao'ao scoffed. "That doesn't count as literature."

"Then literature sucks." The wolverine scowled.

"It does not! In literature everything has a deeper meaning-"

"I bet you're some famous teacher. Are you the guy that said tulips are all blue coz they're sad?" Li I asked.

"Nobody ever said that." Jiao'ao remarked. "And I am not a teacher."

"Well you sound like one." Li I shot back. Then did an imitation of Jiao'ao's pompous voice. "Everything has a deeper meaning! When I say 'hello' I really mean 'goodbye'.

Jiao'ao scowled at that, but said nothing more.

He was the first to return to their dormitory, but the other filed in afterwards. Saras, however had stayed behind, lost in thought. He would sneak into Badr's office that night and take Yei. Everyone had to go to sleep eventually. He waited until the moon was covered by clouds several hours later, before making his way, creeping silently along the marble corridors. He found Badr's office locked, and peaked in through the keyhole. He caught sight of the desk and a flash of green later he was inside, standing atop the desk. The office was empty, and Saras was left wondering why he hadn't started this way. He leapt off the desk, landed silently on all fours and reached for the drawers, pulling it open. It was full of forms he frowned, closed it and tried another. It was full of bits and bobs. He tried a third, and it was empty.

Saras tried every nook and corner of the office, but with everything he opened more dread rushed into him. Lastly he checked the drawers again. It was hopeless. All he had found was a portrait of Badr smiling as he held paws with a white cat he had never seen before. He left the office the way he came in, only this time he was seething. He went straight to bed wondering who had managed to pull a fast one on him and Badr. He snarled to himself. He needed to find who had done it and fast! Before they could escape. He slid into bed. There was only one face swimming in his mind. Babirasu…

Well played Babi… Well played… But this isn't over yet.

* * *

 _Footbnote: I think I'll try and finish the Inter-Task stuff here before doing the same in Back in the Day. I just realized that only the tasks CAN run concurrently, considering that this story's story's prequel has pretty much double the characters._

 _I also wonder whether anyone's noticed the Easter Eggs I've been dropping in both this fix and the other, in relation to each other. There are two conscious ones here and none in the other fic. I was wondering whether to have an (extremely early) easter egg hunt. Whoever spots the most gets an as-of-yet-undecided prize._

 _Either way I will notify you guys every three chapters about the number of Easter Eggs._

 _Anyways enjoy._


	13. A Wolf and a Worm

To Saras' great dismay he never got the chance to confront Babirasu about the gem. Probably because when he was about to, Badr Tamod had had to make a very important announcement.

"The Second Task will take place in an hour. I suggest you don't eat too much, we wouldn't want you puking your food out, now would we?"

Han Guan, who's muzzle had been buried in a pile of thin, oily noodles, hastily gulped and pulled his snout free.

"I will explain more about the Task once you are all in the arena. Don't be late." And with a wide, winning smile, Badr twirled away.

Then, the young shapeshifter had spotted Babirasu walking out, and was about to follow him, when Li I kicked in a wild direction with an exclamation of "Finally!" Naturally the rabbit's foot found the platter of noodles, which proceeded to land like a wig on Saras' head.

Now, he was running late. Due to his natural-born misfortune he had missed the last carriage- actually he had not wanted to be alone with Lang in a small, enclosed space-but that counted as missing, right?

"Ah! There he is! And good time! The arena's not even filled up yet! Come, come, quickly."

Wheezing for air, Saras made his way over to the other competitors, all lined up in front of Badr. Behind him, squeezed into the arena with four chairs around it, was a table. Sitting on the table was a round, clay, pot and a large sand-timer.

"Now that he is finally here, the task! I'd explain myself, but since our fox here took so long to arrive, Chaonao will have to do that. All I can say is good luck!"

Still out of breath, Saras found to his dismay, that Babirasu was on the other end of the line. He would have walked over to him, but then Chaonao's loud voice boomed throughout the arena.

 _"Good morning! It's me, Chaonao, everyone's favorite commentator. I'm here to guide you through what's happening while our competitors battle it out in a gruuuuuesome spectacle! SQUAWK!"_

Judging from the annoyed looks on almost every face, Saras had not been the only one who had forgotten how annoying the commentator was.

 _"We're allowing sixteen competitors to get past and there are two ways to win. You can either gain a grand total of five hundred points, or you can wait for four competitors to loose. This task is all about good old fashioned one on ones! Two randomly selected fighters will proceed to battle it out until the sand stops flowing! If in this time you make your opponent unable to compete further they are eliminated! If it happens afterwards then you're still through, but if you're picked again you are instantly disqualified! After every fight a team of ultra-critical judges will hand you points out of fifty. Get five hundred points and you're through for sure and can watch everyone else get beaten up. If you are responsible for eliminating an opponent then you're fast-tracked to the Third Task! Whoow, I can't believe I got through all that without SQUAWK-COME ON! I WAS SO CLOSE TO NOT SQUAWKing!"_

The competitors distanced themselves a little, as if worried they might get knocked out immediately.

 _"Now, let me present to you, your ultra-critical judges! Number one: the black cat himself BAAAAAADR TAMMMMMOOOD!"_

The black cat grinned, and took a seat at the table. "I am judging based on-"

 _"Next up is the runner-up of the last tournament: DUYAAAAAAOOOO!"_ The frog sat as far away from Badr as possible, scowling deeply.

"I am judging based on your fighting styles." She said so dryly Saras was sure she had rehearsed the sentence.

 _"SAFFFFIII TAMOD!"_

Instinctively Saras stepped behind Kunjingle.

"I came for a show. I want you all to fight like your life depends on it! But more importantly, I want you all to look good doing it!"

Han Guan hastily straightened up.

 _"MAAAASTER TIAAAAAANQI!"_

The horse arrived, smiling widely, and took his seat next to Duyao. He pointed at the competitors.

"It's not about how you fight, it's about who you are! Sportsmanship, character, these things are what I'll be judging on! The gnat's out the bag, as I always say!"

 _"Aaaaaaand finally, your all time favorite. The devilishly handsome, silver-tongued hero himself! CHAAAAAAAONAO!"_

Several jaws fell open at this. The parrot perched himself on the edge of the table.

Maybe it was professionalism, but he acted as if he hadn't noticed. _"I'll be judging based on SHOWMANSHIP! The crowd came for a story-not just mindless action! SQUAWK!"_

Despite the roar of the crowd, Saras was certain half of them _had_ come for mindless action.

 _"Now, Mr Tamod has arranged for something very special for the first match. The competitor who finished first last time, will begin by facing the winner of the last tournament. Badr Tamod himself!"_

Duyao clenched her fists at the word 'winner', she wanted to smash the parrot's skull in as well now.

 _"And the first place competitor from the first match is none other than LAAAAANG! Lord of Miserly Mountains! So please, competitors, make your way to the waiting area."_

Lang was left standing in the center of the arena, his spear at the ready.

Saras took the opportunity to catch up to Babirasu.

"Babi!"

"Oh, hey. Good luck I guess." He sounded tired, as if he hadn't slept all night.

"Yeah, you two. Listen Babi, about-"

But the rest of his speech was drowned out by Chaonao's voice. And a moment later the babirusa was gone.

 _"FIGHT! SQUAWK!"_ And the parrot flipped over the sand-timer.

Badr removed a pellet from his black robes, and threw it into the sand. The red panda was upon him, swinging his spear at the feline. Badr dodged it with ease and a casual smile. The smiling stopped abruptly when the sack of stones collided with his nose. Lang gave him no respite, and brought the butt of his spear into Badr's toes, before backhanding the cat away. Badr stumbled back, and found the sack of stones in his gut as the burlap sack came back round.

 _"So far our fluffy-tailed-temperamental is giving our gracious host quite a beating!"_

Saras felt a twinge of pity for the black cat, who was being soundly defeated in quick, aggressive moves. He also had to admire Lang's aggresion and sheer strength. Mostly though he was glad he wasn't the one having to fight him.

"You know Badr won this tournament?" Jiao'ao mentioned in stunned disbelief.

Li I shrugged. "People must have been weaker back in the day."

Just as he said this something burst free of the sand behind Lang.

It was a giant worm, with a large, sharp bill-like mouth, covered in pointed teeth. It's body, or rather what they could see of it, was covered in thick, dark brown plates. The worm was big, and towered over Lang like a viper to a mouse.

 _"Is that meant to be here? Coz if it's not we should probably all be running for our lives!"_

"You were saying, Li-san?" Han gulped.

Lang was quick on the uptake, and threw himself away from the Deathworm's lunge. He swung at the plated hide, but his spear, which had penetrated much armour, refused to go through.

The Deathworm lunged again, and Lang dodged again, but was slower on the third time. He slammed into the barrier wall with brutal force, but still managed to avoid the next deadly lunge, which tore through wood like a hot knife through butter.

 _"So is this all okay? Was this planned? Was their a meeting I wasn't invited to? SQUAWK!"_

The Deathworm smashed through the wood once more, and Lang rolled away once more, before turning and jabbing forwards with his spear. Once again the plate did not give away.

"So... Our host has a giant worm and our roommate can't glare it into cowering. It's going to be hard to steal the show." Li I remarked. He was sitting on Kunjingle's head, and the bear it seemed, did not mind.

"Steal the show? Why would you steal the show?" Jiao'ao asked. The peacock looked apprehensive, and Saras was sure he had never been in a real fight before.

"So that my father will know where I am and come get me!" The rabbit replied with enough vigour to rally an army.

Jiao'ao frowned a little. "I hope my dad doesn't find out about this."

Lang jabbed once more, but this time he found a chink in the armour, and buried his whole spear into the unprotected flesh. Green blood squirted into the air, and the worm writhed wildly, throwing him off and into the barrier once more.

 _"And Lang, who apparently eats armies for breakfast, is being defeated by a worm. This must be very humiliating! SQUAWK!"_

It was a testament to the one-eyed panda's skill that he could both glare at the parrot and dodge the worm. He ripped his spear free, the green blood spilling out onto the sand. Lang smashed the butt of his spear into Badr's toes, and then the burlap sack met the cat's face once more. The red panda avoided another lunge, and jabbed at the worm once more. He missed and the blade hit the plate instead of the soft skin he had been aiming for.

Then from out of the sand, the Deathworm's tale slammed into the red panda's muzzle, and threw him into the sand. Then, before anyone could react properly, the worm lunged at the panda.

The crowd gasped in unison. Han's jaw went slack. Li's eyes widened. Saras blinked.

 _"Did your worm eat him? Is that against tournament policy? I swear there was a meeting I wasn't invited to!"_

Badr grinned, and looked at the stunned faces of the remaining nineteen competitors. "May this be a warning to all of you. You signed those warrants, in this arena you can die. My advice, give up while you still can!" His gaze seemed to linger on Han Guan and Saras. Both of their fur's bristled at the statement.

 _Well, thanks to Babi I now have to fight a bunch of guys to the death until I can interrogate him about Yei... Well... At least I won't have to fight Lang._

Jiao'ao was a delicate green. It was brutal proof that this was serious, and the competitors subconciously backed away from each other.

Then the worm started screeching madly, and writhed in the sand. All eyes turned to the worm, as it began choking and coughing. Then, coated in copious amounts of green blood, his fur damp and dripping, Lang rolled through the sand.

 _"Wow! Lang has been saved by the grace of being inedible! SQUAWK!"_

The red panda rose to his feet, shivering with rage. His paws were curled so tightly into fists, his knuckles were white from the pressure.

 _"And he's really not happy! I'm glad I'm not the one fighting him! Good luck Badr! Oh wait- times up!"_

Lang still looked ready to kill.

"Excellent! Now points! Let's go!" Badr Tamod was quick to salvage his pride, and life, and sat at the table. "For unrelenting determination forty points!"

Lang picked up his spear, the Deathworm disappearing into the sand.

Safi was the next to judge. And she didn't care about the death glare he was eyeing her (and everyone else) with. "Honestly, your scar could make you pass off as cool, but you're dripping in slime, your eyes aren't the same colour and your clothes are so last dynasty. I'll give you five, and that's being generous."

The spear looked like it would snap from the pressure of his grip.

"Your fighting style was all aggression, and you reacted very quickly to an unexpected event. You adapted quickly and pulled a victory out of your sheer strength, both of mind and body. Forty points."

Tianqi was next. "You dominated the enire battle, but at the same time showed mercy to your opponents."

 _"He did? He didn't look very merciful when he was pulverizing Badr."_

Chaonao shut up at the look Tianqi gave him. "You were the mouse that smashed the mountain. Congratulations, forty points!"

* * *

"Um, is that a Chinese proverb?" Han Guan asked.

"It's not." Mulaohu said, shaking her head in disbelief.

* * *

 _"You probably scare half the audience, and you scare me too. But they want action and you warmed them up for it. I'll give you fifty! SQUAWK! So far Lang is in the lead, with a grand total of one hundred and seventy five points!"_

Lang, still glaring at Badr, walked up to the other competitors, who gave a wide berth for the slime-coated ball of anger.

Then Badr pulled a pair of rocks from the pot, and read the names out loud.

* * *

 _Footnote: Originally this was gonna be two chapters... But they felt a little short alone. Together I think it serves as a good introduction to the Second Task. Lang vs the Deathworm had to happen (because Li mentions it in Journey to Japan and it helps save the day in the end. Etc) but the second task of this fics original was a little meh (not as meh as the third but still), so why not good ole fashioned one on ones?_

 _I wanted to start this concurrently with Task Three... But alas the inter-task stuff of that tournament is far more extensive. Still consider this a glimpse of what is to come in that fic! If you would like to see some fights, now is the time to ask for them :)_

 _This task will be pretty long and it should also encompass Kunjingle, Jiao'ao and Lang's back stories. (I know YOU know them (if not then you could use a reminder) but the other characters don't XD). Anyways Chaonao always speaks in italics, coz that's what he does. He's like that._

 _Now the judging idea cones from Tournament of Legends by Berserker88-my judges are a little different though XD, and that was Mind Jack's idea in the first place, so yeah... I'm eclectic :)_

 _Enjoy and Update soon._


	14. The One-Sided Battles

"Han Guan and Mulaohu!" Badr exclaimed loudly, throwing a massive grin.

"Wooooohoooo! Go Mulaohu! Go Mulaohu!" Tianqi yelled at the top of his lungs, clapping his hooves together.

Li I was just as loud. "Come on Han! Do it for Battai!"

The wolverine and the dog faced each other.

"Good luck." Mulaohu said, freeing her massive blade.

"You too." Han Guan replied, three curved blades popping out of his elbow pads.

 _"In this corner, hailing from Japan itself, HAN GUAN! And in the other corner, the student of the esteemed Master Tianqi MULAOHU! Now FIGHT! SQUAWK!"_

Chaonao flipped the timer and the duel began.

The Chongqing dog swung first, bringing her jian down into the sand. Han Guan leapt back in time to avoid the blow, and had to duck the next swing as it flew over him faster than a blade that size should have been allowed to be. Then twice more the blade chopped downwards, only just missing his feet, before she slammed the flat of her blade into his torso and knocked him into the barrier walls.

Li abruptly stopped cheering and began booing.

"Go Mulaohu!"

Han Guan slid down the barrier as the jian tore through the wood with villainous ferocity.

"Boooooooooooo!"

The wolverine rolled away as the huge blade scattered the sand he had been lying on a moment before.

"Get him Mulaohu!"

The wolverine tried to rise, but was sent backwards with an involuntary yell after Mulaohu landed a kick to his muzzle.

"Boooooooooooo!"

Han Guan got to his feet once more, only to be barged off his feet by the Chongqing dog.

"Finish him Mulaohu!"

Mulaohu brought her blade down. The humongous jian was only stopped by the wolverine's elbow claws. Shethen kicked him in the stomach, winding him.

"BOOOOOOOOO!"

 _"Excuse me! SQUAWK! I'M the commentary! Now so far Han Guan hasn't been doing much aside from getting beaten up, BUT this might be his whole fighting style! SQUAWK! I bet he's just keeping all the good stuff in reserve for later on in the fight!"_

Mulaohu discarded her blade, then picked up the wolverine's foot, before tossing him into the air like a rag doll. As Han Guan came flying back down, Mulaohu swung at him, knocking him back into the air.

 _"You know... Maybe I was wrong."_

After the fifth punch Mulaohu let the wolverine land on the sand, only to kick him into the barrier.

"BOOOOOOOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOO!"

"Gooooooo Mulaohu! You can do it!"

 _"I'M THE COMMENTARY! Mulaohu has just finished playing ping pong with Han Guan! It looks like Japan's only competitor is out for the count-oh no he's back up! SEE I TOLD YOU HE WAS PLANNNG SOMETHING! SQUAWK!"_

Han Guan's nose was bent at an unholy angle as he stumbled towards the dog.

"I'm not going too hard on you am I?"

"Nob ab ball." He responded dizzily, clutching the sides of his head to concentrate.

Mulaohu reached forwards and grabbed his nose, before twisting it back into place in one fluid motion.

"Better?" She asked.

"Better." He replied.

She then flung him over her shoulder and turned around just in time to whack him into the barrier with the side of her blade.

 _"You know it's actually quite sad watching this."_

* * *

"This is the most one sided fight I have ever seen." Li complained. "At least Lang had to struggle to win."

"Han is just not good at fighting." Wong shrugged.

Saras found Li's loyalty admirable. He also thought Li was ridiculous for picking a fight with someone ten times his mass. Then again sitting atop a giant bear probably did wonders for confidence.

"I bet he'd flatten you! It's just his opponent's really strong. I mean... I bet you couldn't even lift that sword!" Then, feeling that defending Han Guan's combat skills was not enough Li added. "You ugly croc."

The crocodile glared at him, but could not retaliate to the insult as Li _was_ riding atop a giant bear.

* * *

Han Guan dived under the blade once more as it chopped the wooden barrier to splinters. This time the sword had gotten deeply stuck into the wood, and as Mulaohu struggled to prize it free of the splinters, Han Guan swept her feet out from under her, before missing a slash and backhanding her instead.

"BOOOOOOOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOO!" Yelled Tianqi.

"YEEES! GO HAN! YOU CAN DO THIS!"

 _"AND YOU CAN'T! I'M GETTING PAYED TO COMMENT! NOT YOU! SQUAWK!"_ Chaonao regained his composure. _"Han Guan is finally doing something! It's about time! But is it too late?"_

Han tried to elbow her face, but the dog narrowly avoided the blades, and caught hold of Han Guan's foot, before slamming him into the sand repeatedly, leaving a cloud of dust with every blow.

 _"Time's up! Is Han Guan still alive?"_

The wolverine shot the parrot a weak thumbs-up.

 _"Neither competitor has been eliminated! But the clear winner and the one we'll be judging first is Mulaohu!"_

The Chongqing pulled her jian free and stood proudly in front of the panel.

"I'll start. Now, everyone loves girl power-but what you displayed is barbarous brutality. I'll give you a twenty because you didn't get any bruises or scratches. Your species ain't cute either but that's not your fault honey." Safi's words made the dog blink in surprise. But she smiled and bowed anyways. After all twenty was higher than Lang's score.

 _"My turn! You were cool and all, but there's little space to relate to someone pumeling the living pillows out of a poor guy. I'll give you thirty five! SQUAWK!"_

"You had a very aggressive fighting style and gave your opponent almost no openings. Your strength alone is enough to give you fifty points." Mulaohu's grin widened.

"I couldn't have said it any better!" Badr agreed. "Full marks!" Duyao's fists were white, but Mulaohu only bowed at the cat.

"You did very well my student! And not only that, you didn't go too far. Several times you could have finished him for good, instead you chose to give your opponent a chance. And you fixed his nose! You are truly a student to be proud of! Full marks!"

 _"And Mulaohu has taken the lead from Lang with a grand total of two hundred and five points! Now for the runner up. Han Guan, please stand up."_

Mulaohu lifted the wolverine by the back of the neck with as much effort as it took to lift a piece of paper. She placed him gingerly on his feet, where he began nervously fiddling with his long claws.

Safi gazed at him with a clear frown. "It's hard to critique's someone's looks when they spent most of the match getting beaten up. I don't like your slouch and your fur colour is just so... It's not nice. I'll give you an eight because you could look a lot worse."

 _"Well I liked you! Sure you did loose- but people come here to watch other people loose, so you gave the audience exactly what they wanted! Not only that but you're still standing which is a testament to how determined you are. I mean, not a lot of people can take that many hits! SQUAWK! I'll give you thirty because it feels wrong to mark you higher than the winner."_

"I'll give you a ten. You had a few opportunities and failed to take advantage of them. Try to swing a bit too, otherwise someone might mistake you for a punching dummy!" Badr chuckled at his own joke.

"I'll give you twenty. You did have a few opportunities, but those were few and far between." Han Guan nodded meekly.

"I'll give you thirty! As Mulaohu's Master I know just how strong she is and really it's a testament to both your physical and mental strength that you're still standing! Better luck next time is what I say!"

 _"Han Guan is pulling up the rear now with ninety-eight points!"_

"Right! Time for the next match." Badr announced and dug into the jar.

* * *

Han walked away dejectedly, wondering what his clan would think if they'd seen him just now. They'd probably laugh, or act like he wasn't related to them. Or both.

"Don't beat yourself up." Mulaohu said, walking alongside him. "I think I did enough of that already!" She joked. Then frowned at his drooping ears. "Is something wrong?"

"No. Nothing." He answered quickly. "You fight good."

"You can take a lot of pain." Mulaohu grinned, but noticed that his ears were still drooping.

* * *

"Babirasu and- how do you pronounce this name?" Badr called.

Babirasu and the wolf walked down to the arena, passing by Han Guan and Mulaohu as they went.

"You sure nothing's wrong? I mean, you look depressed."

Han Guan paused and shook his head. "No. I'm fine. Just... Hurting everywhere, he-he. Bye Mualohu-chan."

The dog frowned at the smaller mammal's retreating back, but shrugged and let him leave.

"Well... You're still alive." Saras comforted awkwardly.

"Yeah Han, don't worry. We still believe in you!" Li encouraged while Kunjingle bobbed his head up and down.

The wolverine nodded slowly but slumped to the ground. He was certain that he had just had the most humiliating match in the history of tournament matches.

* * *

Duyao turned to Tianqi. "You have trained your student very well." She complimented.

Tianqi grinned. "It's not exactly strength. You see, Mulaohu has a form of tactile telekinesis. Anything she touches looses all of it's weight while still having it's physical properties and mass. Hence her sword."

Duyao nodded. "And where did you find her?"

"Well she was the illegitimate child of a wealthy businessman, as such her family hated her. So much so that they never even gave her a name. But they took advantage of her sheer strength and total memory and accepted her as a business deal. Until they were well off. Then they put her in an orphanage to stop having to rely on her. Well, she escaped and found me and I took her home."

 _"That's so sweet! No not the fighters Mulaohu's backstory! It's gonna make me cry!"_

Mulaohu dragged her paw down her face and muzzle. Typical Master Tianqi.

In hindsight, Han Guan's defeat was rather less humiliating than the wolf's. The lupine had attacked first and failed to harm the babirusa, who promptly set fire to his pants. The wolf had smashed his smoking rump into the sand so many times the crowd had begun laughing at his exploits. Babirasu had then forced him to yeild, under the threat of lighting his tail.

 _"And Babirasu is the first competitor through! And the first competitor out for the count is-how do you pronounce his name again? Well that guy! We'd judge you Babirasu but that's kinda redundant seeing as you're already through! SQUAWK!"_


	15. A Prince's Tale

Jiao'ao smirked as his name was called, and made his way to the arena. He was facing Naan, the figure stared impassively with his glowing yellow eyes.

 _"Iiiiiiiiiin this corner we have the prince of-um I mean Jiao'ao! He's a peacock and he's got a really big fat sword! Wait that sounded wrong! SQUAWK!"_

"Daddy, where did you find this guy?" Safi asked.

"Well... Last time all the hosts died so we have a pretty bad reputation. Chaonao was the only one who wanted the job." Badr explained, wondering why he hadn't just taken the job for himself.

 _"And we have Naan, who must be very difficult to work with!"_

The arena was completely silent.

 _"Come on! You people are paying to listen to my jokes, you might as well laugh at them!"_

Badr hit the gong, cutting off the parrot.

Naan withdrew a pair of large shuriken from his shoulders, twirled them in his paws and shot them at the peacock one after another. Jiao'ao parried both of them, before taking up a defensive stance, stabbing his large sword into the sand in front of him, the flat of the blade facing his opponent. Naan charged forwards, thrusting his arm at the avian. Jiao'ao darted to the side, before twisting his weapon to parry the long, sharp, white spike that had come out from around his opponent's arm. Another spike shot out of Naan's other arm and came around to swing at him. The peacock blocked with the flat of his blade, before sweeping his train under the figure and forcing him to pull back. Jiao'ao next pulled his sword free from the sand and brought it down with deadly force. The blade landed in the sand, scattering a small cloud of dust upon impact. Naan pounced forwards, landing three quick kicks, a punch and a final, more powerful kick that sent the avian skidding several feet backwards.

 _"So far Jiao'ao is having his highness handed to him! If you bet on Naan you've spent your money wisely!"_

The peacock steadied himself, and watched as Naan pulled the sword out from the sand, and placed it in _his_ defensive stance. He noticed what looked like three black dots, spinning on his opponent's eyes.

Naan looked at Jiao'ao and with a bandaged paw, motioned for the peacock to come.

Jiao'ao did as he was bid, charging forwards to close the gap, before twisting around to hit Naan from side with a train sweep. To his surprise his train connected heavily with the flat of his own blade-the one Naan had twisted just in time to parry his attack.

The peacock blinked. That was his technique! He tried a kick this time and felt his foot connect with the dull, hard metal.

 _"Ooooooh! He's having his own technique used against him! That must be quite embarrassing!"_

Suddenly, Naan hopped over the blade entirely, and tried to drop down on him with a powerful downwards-kick. Jiao'ao only just managed to step away. Naan jabbed forwards, the spike reappearing out of his arm.

It was then that Jiao'ao realized the spike was made out of a single, long, sharp bone.

Somehow Chaonao figured this out at the exact same time. " _Oh my gods! Is that his bone!? SQUAWK! And Naan's just kicked him. Yeah."_

The avian slid across the sand from the kick. He rose slowly and frowned deeply. He had no choice left. He spread out his tail feathers behind him, his wings spread out. Right... Time to go for it-

 _"Aaaaand time's up!"_

 _What!?_

" _Get ready to get judged! Now since this fight didn't exactly have a clear winner- I mean sure Jiao'ao was getting a majestic beatdown-we'll be judging them alternatingly! Safi Tamod, you may begin!"_

Safi frowned. "Right, Naan was it? I don't even want to know if you're using your boners-"

Up at the stands Hong Ze exploded into laughter.

"Either way your costume is plain ridiculous and there's definetly a reason you don't show your face. Fifteen points."

Naan remained changeless in his expression.

"As for you Jiao'ao. Your species has a whole crutch in terms of good looks- but compared to other peacocks you're remarkably average. Still I think you're cute." She winked at him, and Jiao'ao had to fight off the urge to not start retching. "I'll give you forty."

"Naan. Your own style is unique and unpredictable, and on top of this you successfully emulated your opponent's style after only witnessing it for a few minutes. Either you've fought someone of the same style, or your analytical skills are superb, it doesn't make a difference though, forty five points."

Duyao then turned to Jiao'ao. "Thirty. I could tell you were building up to something- and if it's any consolation if this was up to me there wouldn't be a timer."

Badr then took up the count. "I'll hand you both twenty-five. One day your flashy fighting styles are going to catch up to you."

"I second Duyao. If there had been more time, it would have been easier to get an accurate grip on your personalities. But from what I've seen I can infer the following." Tianqi pointed at Naan. "You are an analytical genius, and that means you've got a brain between your ears. I can't see your ears, but you habe got a brain-that much is obvious. I am curious as to how you learned to manipulate your bone structure like that-but that's irrelevant. Forty points."

He then pointed at Jiao'ao. "Excellent defensive use of you sword! I can tell that you're self-taught, and I'm sorry to tell you, that's not the 'correct' way to use your weapon, however it was effective and unique, and for that I give you thirty points."

 _"My turn! Well Naan, no tournament would be a tournament if there isn't at least one faceless character, am I right? Creepy, but cool fighting style-in a morbid sort of way. Forty! SQUAWK! Now, Prince-I mean Jiao'ao- you've got an interesting background, which I can't really spell out right now for um contractual reasons. So I'll just say forty, too? Not forty-two, forty too. Right so that brings the total for you guys up to one hundred and sixty five for both of you! Well done, you share top spot!"_

Jiao'ao retrieved his sword and sheathed it. Naan replaced his shuriken-which Jiao'ao realized were also bones. The peacock shivered and made his way back to the stands.

"You were excellent, you highness!" Li I said with a deep, sweeping bow with many unnecessary flourishes of his paw. "Seriously, what was that all about?"

"It was nothing." Jiao'ao said, trying to brush off the fact that Chaonao had effectively revealed his identity.

"Really?" Li I asked, his brow furrowed in suspicion.

 _"Li I and Wugu!"_

"Yeeeeees! About time!" Li I hopped off of Kunjingle and practically skipped towards the arena, forgetting his interrogation of Jiao'ao.

Wugu was carted in by Ba, who then walked back to the waiting bay.

The rabbit opened up his fan, which was as brightly coloured as his robe. Wugu merely smiled.

"Hoho, one of yours Duyao!" Tianqi smiled widely.

Duyao grimaced. "In a fashion."

" _Fight!"_

Li I waited for Wugu to make the first move. Three darts were in his paw, covered by the sleeve of his robe, his multicoloured fan at the ready.

Wugu smiled simply, his wide green eyes staring absently into the rabbit's.

 _"Guys, I think you don't understand, the objective of this task is to fight each other."_

Li I's eye twitched slightly. Wugu had to make the first move sometime soon. He wished he had gotten a larger opponent. He was better against larger opponents.

Wugu was unphased, but inwardly was frowning. Li I had to make the first move sometime soon. He couldn't fight very well inside the glass bowl. He needed it to get cracked. He wished he had a larger opponent. He was better against larger opponents, they tended to get violent quicker.

"What are they doing?" Jiao'ao asked, the two still staring off one another. Nobody provided a reply.

"Are you going to do something?" Li I exclaimed suddenly, crossing his paws over his chest and huffing loudly.

"I was going to ask you that." Wugu replied. "Go on. Do something."

"No, you should do something!" Li I replied, annoyed.

"No. You ought to start."

"No. You should!"

"I insist you attack first."

"Well _I_ insist that _you_ attack first!" Li I shot back.

"No. I always attack last."

"Well I want you to attack first so that I can figure out how to beat you!"

" _Why don't you just hit each other at the same time?"_

"I can't. I'm in a glass jar." Wugu pointed out.

"I don't want to! Not until after he makes a move!" The rabbit pouted like a spoiled child, his foot tapping the sand impatiently.

"I have a feeling this could take a while." Chaonao muttered as they continued going back and forth about who should hit who first.

Meanwhile Saras turned to Jiao'ao. "What _did_ he mean by prince?"

Jiao'ao frowned at him. "Just when I thought I was going to get some peace and quiet." He grumbled. "What Chaonao meant was a compliment. Nothing more."

Saras nodded. How typical of the parrot to make someone so much more puffed up.

Kunjingle gasped, clicked his fingers and stomped the ground.

"I'm sorry. Are you actually incapable of speech?" The peacock said in an annoyed tone.

Kunjingle made three popping noises followed by a shrill whistle.

"I'll take that as a no." Jiao'ao frowned.

It was interesting. How many different stories were told within one tournament. Saras mused. There was his and Babirasu's hunt for the gem. Han Guan's search for approval. Li's quest for his father. Jiao'ao, who was called prince for no reason... Apparently. Kunjingle who couldn't speak. The blind Reidak. The grumpy Lang. It really was a massive freak show.

"Well, maybe this is good. I mean after our prince's performance, we really should have a relaxation bit here. Can I get some snacks?"

Saras' ear twitched in annoyance. "Prince again? Figure of speech?" Saras had never had a proper education-sure he could read and write, but he had never learned geography beyond staring at maps whenever he had to. He had never learned history, arithmetic, philosophy, and so forth. But what he did know was that the Royal Family weren't peacocks.

"I suppose you could say that." Jiao'ao's voice was stiff.

"Are you related to Lord Shen?" Peacocks had ruled Gongmen for years. He didn't know any of the lawful ones, but the banished princeling had picked up a reputation in the underworld.

"No." Jiao'ao said easily. "I am not related to him." This at least, was not a lie.

"But you are a prince?"

"You're annoyingly persistent."

"Chaonao keeps bringing it up."

"And everything he says must be taken at face value?"

Saras had no reply to that. He merely shrugged. There was another peacock he had heard of. The one who had crushed Lord Tengtong's forces in the Battle of the Bloody River. He was lord most likely. But what was his name?

"So if you're not a prince, what are you?" Han Guan asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Jiao'ao snapped.

"Yes I would actually." Said Saras.

The peacock stared at him, before sighing in resignation. "Okay, fine. I am the son of Lord La. And prince of the province of Hunan."

"Oh." Saras said. He hadn't even known there was a province called Hunan.

"Then how come you're in a Kung Fu Tournament?" Han Guan asked. "I mean, for a prince... It's a bit out of place."

"After my demonstration, do you think I can't handle myself?" Jiao'ao said in an annoyed voice.

"Well..." They both trailed off.

He puffed his chest out in pride. "I'm here to test myself and see how good I truly am. I would also like to prove the worth of Kung Fu to my Lord father." He then turned to the fox and the wolverine. "Satisfied?"

"And you didn't tell everyone who you are to avoid getting special treatment." Han said in admiration.

Jiao'ao smirked with simple pride. "Precisely. Which is why I'd like you to keep this between us."

Saras shrugged. Han Guan nodded. "Sure."

The peacock turned back to the arena, where Li I and Wugu were still arguing about who had to hit who first. Chaonao had donned slices of cucumber over his eyes and a coconut with a straw, as he lounged on the judge table.

"So how come you do Kung Fu?" Han Guan asked.

"Can you keep your nose out of my life?" Jiao'ao snapped.

The wolverine shrugged. "I'm only curious Jiao-sama."

The peacock grimaced, and overwhelmed with his own curiosity Saras spoke up. "Tell him or we'll tell everyone _exactly_ who you are."

Han Guan nodded feverishly. "We'll make sure everyone goes easy on you!"

Jiao'ao frowned deeply. "Fine."

Saras and Han Guan high-pawed.

"I have been obsessed with Kung Fu for as long as I can remember. I was born the youngest son of Lord La, and therefore had a great deal of freedom in my earlier years. But, then... My older siblings...passed." Han Guan placed a comforting paw on the peacock's back. Saras noticed the haunted look that flashed through his blue eyes, and knew there was more to the story, but had enough tact to not probe into it. Jiao'ao pulled away from the wolverine. "Anyways... Then my life changed. I couldn't just follow my dreams. No I had to be my father written small. And my father doesn't think very highly of Kung Fu. But you can't just chase away your dreams. Once, Master Flying Rhino visited court and me being what, ten? I ran up to him in front of everyone and begged him to teach me. And he refused me and mocked me."

"That's...horrible." Han said awkwardly.

"Yes, it was. So... I taught myself. I spent countless hours, reading countless scrolls and doing countless moves."

Kunjingle made a low moaning noise, followed by two shrill whistles and a pop.

"And of course you were eavesdropping as well." Jiao'ao muttered. "I entered this tournament to test myself and to prove that Kung Fu is something to be proud of."

Han Guan and Kunjingle both burst into applause, which brought a smirk to the avian's face. Li I and Wugu came back to the stands at precisely that moment. The fish looked just as happy as ever, Li I looked a bit abashed. The rabbit held his paws out in front of him.

"I know what you're all thinking, but before you start teasing me I'd like to point out that Safi only gave me full marks for cuteness because of my attire."

"Oh, did you beat Wugu?" Han Guan asked.

"No. Didn't you see? We never got to hitting each other. Eighty points in total each? So not fair."

At the mustelid's blank face, Li I frowned a little. "You were watching right?"

"Well Li-san, I may have gotten a bit... Distracted."

"He had to go to the toilet." Jiao'ao interrupted, not wanting the loud-mouthed rabbit to know of his true identity.

"Really? That's a shame. Don't worry Han, in my next match up I'm not gonna hold back at all! Kunjingle, make sure he watches it, okay?"

The bear made a popping sound.

"I knew I could rely on you! So, who's fighting who?" The bunny asked, hopping onto Kunjingle's head to watch the next battle.

* * *

 _Footnote: Two eggs in one chapter- not bad am I right? Jiao'ao has actually changed very little in development- like almost not at all XD The biggest difference I suppose is that he looses his spoiled/bratty atitude sometime soon. Naan has also changed... Not at all._

 _Not much to say here really. Update soon._


	16. The Tiger, the Jackal, and the Bunny

_"Dianbo and Reidak Tor Pre Visla III! Yeesh what a mouthful!"_

Badr smiled and waved at Dianbo, the jackal ignored him and removed his metal whip. Reidak growled a little, and removed his batons.

 _"We have a rumble from abroad! Who will claim victory, the Russian tiger or the Indian jackal? We only have one way to find out! Fight!"_

Dianbo shot his whip out in a flash, the metal curled around one of Reidak's batons and wrenched it from his grip, the whip uncurling around it and throwing the weapon away. Reidak closed the gap between them quickly and swung with his remaining baton. Dianbo ducked, before trying a leg sweep. Reidak leapt over the attack, and landed again, bringing his weapon down in a deadly arc. Dianbo pulled his head to the side, receiving a glancing blow to his ear. The canine rolled away, rising to his feet and lashing out with his whip. Reidak caught the weapon in his paw and pulled the jackal close, swinging in the same movement with his weapon. Dianbo used the momentum to his advantage, launching himself in a double-kick that caught Reidak in the chest. Before the tiger could recover the jackal lashed out in a high roundhouse kick that connected with the side of the tiger's face. The smaller mammal then hopped into the air and used his other leg to hit the tiger's paw, thereby freeing his weapon.

Reidak, though, was ready for his next attack, and blocked the kick. He followed up with a swift backhand blow that caught Dianbo on the side of the muzzle and added a powerful kick to the gut that pushed him backwards. Sand scattered as the canine skidded to a halt. Before he had the chance to react Reidak charged forwards and pounced, twisting mid-air into a double-kick that connected heavily to the smaller mammal's chest and sent him rolling away. Reidak landed on his feet, in a neutral stance, ready to attack or defend as needed.

Dianbo picked himself up so quickly it was as if he had not been harmed. In one fluid motion he struck Reidak on the cheek with his whip, before charging forwards. He hopped into the air and wrapped his legs around the tiger's chest and promptly threw Reidak onto his back. Dianbo rose and stood over him, bringing his foot down in a round, downwards-aiming stomp. Reidak dropped his remaining baton, and caught the leg before it could wind him. He then twisted his whole body to the side. Using both his sheer strength and the movement of his twist, he threw the jackal face-first into the sand.

 _"This is so intense! I even forgot about making commentary! SQUAWK!"_ How Chaonao could say that with so much pride was a mental exercise far too difficult for anyone to commit to.

Reidak rose, as did Dianbo, who was now scowling and no longer had his whip.

Reidak extended his claws and charged. Dianbo ducked one slash, stepped back to avoid another and twisted his head away from the third. He retaliated by hopping into the air and bringing both feet crashing into the feline's chest. Reidak rolled backwards and rose to his knees just in time to block a roundhouse kick aiming for his head. Dianbo, however, followed up with a kick to the face, that slammed into his nose. Reidak retaliated by grabbing the front of the jackal's vest and bringing the canine's face into his incoming headbutt.

Dianbo stumbled backwards. He turned and seemed to fall, but was actually resting his weight on his paws while his feet slammed into the tiger's head. Reidak only noticed this after the blow had connected and only just managed to block the subsequent kick. He dove forwards, landing an almighty palm-strike to the jackal's chest that sent the canine skidding to a halt in the sand. Then Chaonao spoke before either could continue.

 _"And halt! Sad as it is to stop this fight, the time's up." Chaonao stared at the other competitors. "I want you guys to put a show like this! Not some ridiculous argument about who should start the fight! Safi, over to you!"_

Safi frowned as the two stood to attention. She started with Reidak. "You've got the muscles, but don't even get me started on the stupidity of that blindfold. Twenty, coz you're ripped as hell."

If Reidak had eyes he'd have probably been blinking.

"You though. You're small and skinny and while you've got good fur colour, your eyes are a bit meh. Ten points."

Dianbo scowled but didn't say anything.

"Reidak and Dianbo. I'm going to give you both fifty points. You both took brutal hits and brushed them off like nothing, but when you could you avoided them. You both took almost every opening you got and put a wonderful display of combat. I'm sure your masters are proud of you both." Tianqi said casually. "I would be judging you based on personality-but I haven't seen any of it yet. Alas, the clouds do sometimes cover the sun."

"Did he just get his proverb right?" Han Guan asked in wonder.

Before Mulaohu could explain that Tianqi did know some correct ones Li I interrupted her.

"Hey! You only gave me ten you sicko!" Tianqi ignored him.

 _"You put up a good show and all, and it really was too close to call. I'll give you both forty because the fight was entertaining! A bit of advice though, make your moves more flashy! SQUAWK!"_

"Neither of you demonstrated anything flashy." Duyao repeated. "But that's a good thing. You didn't waste time and in a life or death situation you would both persevere. Fifty points each."

"So much for being in the lead." Jiao'ao muttered.

"Like my friends have pointed out-" Badr threw in a wide, winning smile. Every other judge gave him an odd look at being addressed in that way. "You were marvelous. Full marks."

 _"Woah! That was impressive! In first place, with two hundred and ten points is Reidak!"_ The crowd cheered and Reidak smirked a little. " _Just behind him is Dianbo with two hundred points!"_ Dianbo nodded. Then the two went back to retrieve their weaponry.

* * *

"This is so biased!" Li I whined. "Okay guys, we're gonna have to cheat!"

"Cheat?" Jiao'ao repeated stiffly.

"Bad word. Help each other out!" Li I corrected, then brought them into a huddle. "If any of us are matched up against each other, we put on a show. Make it look real close you know? That way we get a tonne of points."

"Oh please, like you're going to fool anyone. I'm not involved." Jiao'ao pulled backwards.

"Forget him anyways. You guys are up for it right?"

Han Guan nodded feverently.

"Kunjingle?"

The bear shrugged.

"Shifty?"

Saras hesitated. He had to get to the next round, or Babirasu would be able to leave. The quickest way to proceed was through knockout. But Li I, Jiao'ao and Han Guan had almost as much reason to want to go forwards. And he could still take out someone like Wong if he had to. "Sure, why not."

"Alright! Let's do this!" He yelled, slamming his fist into his waiting palm. "Who's next?!"

"Li I and Wong!"

"Me! Yippee!" The rabbit practically skipped into the arena, already opening up his fan.

* * *

Wong followed less swiftly, the humongous croc smiled with menace. He completely underestimated Li I, after all the rabbit's previous demonstration suggested no skill whatsoever.

 _"Right. I hope you can put up better than last time. Wong, show us what you got! SQUAWK! Your time starts now!"_

Wong pulled out a small phial of red liquid and chuckled darkly as he popped the cork off with a single flick of his claw. Before he could drink whatever the liquid was, the phial was shattered by a well-thrown dart.

"Never drink before a fight!" Li I advised. Then grinned and started tapping his foot impatiently. Briefly his eyes shone orange, but a moment later noone noticed as Wong came in for a charge. The fat reptile moved faster than should have been allowed. Li I, however was faster and hopped over the incoming fist, before running up the length of the croc's arm to deliver a strong punch followed up with a whack from the now-closed fan. Something swept the crocodile's feet out from under him and he landed on his back, totally winded. He had no time to recover as the pair of bunnies hopped into the air and came back down with identical stomps that caught the croc on the nose.

 _"What's the matter? Seeing double? Bahahaha! I couldn't resist!"_

* * *

"Is his twin fighting as well?"

"Well I guess." Saras started. "His twin isn't actually his twin it's his clone. Have any of you heard of the Duplication Technique?" They all shook their heads, except for Reidak, who walked over seemingly for the entire purpose of explaining.

"It's a technique invented by Master Wuxi in the Third Dynasty, wherein you split your chi into an exact, identical copy of yourself."

"How did you hear us?" Saras asked. The tiger had been several feet away and his voice couldn't have carried, since Dianbo was apparently only paying attention now.

"I have enhanced senses. Being blind isn't all bad you know."

Han Guan nodded. "He can even see through clothes."

Saras' tail as well as Dianbo's, almost instinctively curled over their crotches. Kunjingle cleared his throat awkwardly and Jiao'ao straightened himself up. Han Guan tried too late to backtrack and was now pink in the face as he scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

"I-I mean he's not a pervert, I mean sure he can look at a wall and see the room behind it but-"

"We get it Han. We get it." Reidak said, frowning and walking away.

* * *

 _Meanwhile back in the arena..._

* * *

The Lis hopped back to allow Wong the luxury of standing up, before resuming their attacks. They circled him from opposite directions, sending a flurry of multi-coloured darts from everywhere. Wong tried his best to block them all, but wasn't fast enough and caught three in the tail, one on the thigh, five on the butt (which seemed to be where the pair of rabbits aimed the most), two symetrical ones on the snout and two on his massive stomach.

 _"And so Wong has become a reptilian pincushion! Li I and Li II here, demonstrating excellent levels of accuracy. Then again when your target is that big it must be pretty hard to miss!"_

Either they were out of darts or they decided they had had enough of long ranged combat. The two stopped running around and stood in front of Wong, before taking a running start and fly-kicking the reptile's groin.

" _Oooooh, that has got to be painful! SQUAWK!"_

The bunnies hopped onto his snout and expanded their fans, opening and closing them over their opponent's eyes. The flurry of red, blue, green and yellow that flashed in front of his eyes had dazed many opponents before and indeed it bewildered Wong, who had absolutely no idea what was going on.

Then the colours stopped flashing and there was only the yellow sun.

 _"You know staring into the sun must be really, really bad for your eyesight."_

Wong realized what was happening and with a cry of pain looked down again, his eyes tightly shut.

"Let's finish him!" Li I and Li II exclaimed in unison.

"Wait! If we knock him out we don't get to fight again!"

"Okay, better idea, let's kick his butt but keep him concious!"

The two high-fived, before dashing forwards. The bunnies landed a swift hit each from a closed fan, before dropping him on his front. Menacingly, the two rabbits grabbed a sandal each, and pulled it off of the dazed reptile.

" _Ladies and gentlemen, the Lis don't seem to be going for the kill! In fact he seems to be going for one of the most lethal methods of torture known to mammalkind! SQUAWK!"_

"Double Suna Torture!" The two yelled in unison. Li I softly brought his paw up and down the croc's foot, tickling him. Li II grabbed the croc's little toe and twisted it.

"Baaaaaaaaaaahahahaaaaaaaaaahahahahaaaaaaaa!" Whether or not Wong was involuntarily laughing or just plain screaming was difficult to tell.

" _Time's up!"_ Chaonao announced. The Lis dropped the feet they were holding and high-fived once more, before standing in front of the judging panel.

"Well you both look just as cute as before! I could just eat you all up! Fifty!" Safi exclaimed gleefully, not noting the uncomfortable looks Li I and his twin shared.

"You showed substanstially more character than last time, therefore it's easier to judge. I don't know whether or not it would have been more merciful to just take your opponent out, but it doesn't matter. You're hyperactive and optimistic and I like your attitude. Thirty points!"

"You showed substantially more combat skill this time as well, though the below-the-belt hit was a little much. Thirty."

Badr smirked. "I knew you were the same person! I can always tell when the Duplication Technique is being used." He winked at them. "Forty points!"

" _Pretty good demonstration on torture! If all else fails you'd be a great mugger! Congratulations! SQUAWK! I think the crowd love a good loudmouth, and you can never have too many of those, can you? Fifty points! Which brings you to a grand total of two hundred eighty points! You take the lead now from Reidak!"_

The rabbit's high fived and promptly split up. Li I hopping back to the stands while the judges gave Wong their scores.

"Oh yeah guys I did it! I'm in the lead! Wooohooo! In next to no time my dad should hear about this!"

 _"Next up we have Kunjingle vs-"_

* * *

 _Footnote: Another egg in this chapter, or two, not sure. To be honest if I was taking this seriously I'd have been writing them from the start. So Easter Egg Hunt is off I guess._

 _But who cares right? This chapter actually did have two fights in one! Mainly it's purpose was to bring out Li's, Reidak's and Dianbo's fighting styles. Wong will get a proper fight too, just not anytime soon._


	17. Bearly Decent Acting

Kunjingle faced the lion. The bear stood impassive, not even assuming a stance. The lion's eyes narrowed dangerously. He was entirely confident of his ability to beat the fat bear standing in front of him.

 _"Fight!"_

At Chaonao's command the feline charged forwards, his fist raised and ready to deal an incapacitating blow. The blow bounced off of Kunjingle's stomach and knocked his opponent off balance. The bear then reached forwards and brought the lion into his stomach, bouncing the feline into the barrier.

 _"Well that is a very unique fighting style! It looks so easy! I bet if I put on enough pounds I could use it too!"_

The lion tore forwards, unsheathing his claws in an attempt to slice the bear to pieces. The lion's claws hit the suddenly tensed muscle. The lion grabbed his paw, his claws bent in a horrible angle.

"OW! You fat-" Before he could finish his sentence the lion was belly-bounced back into the barrier.

* * *

"Why does _he_ get the easy opponent?" Jiao'ao snapped. Practically everyone who had fought from their dormitory had more or less 'won' a fight. Well, except for Han Guan...

* * *

 _"Okaaay, so it's not all about being fat... Still do you think I should put some weight on? SQUAWK!"_

The lion got back up. "I'm going to destroy you!" He roared.

 _"Yeesh what a temper! You only got hit twice man, relax!"_

But relax he would not. With a feral scream the lion charged forwards. Kunjingle's fist caught the feline on the chin and sent him flying into the air with a cat-like squeak.

 _"Hey Badr, do you think I should put some weight on?"_

Badr gave the parrot a filthy look. "This tournament has existed for generations. I will not tolerate another insult to this ancient tradition! Or me!"

 _"Okay fine yeesh. I was just thinking I looked a bit thin around the wings. SQUAWK!"_

The lion fell back down to earth. Or rather Kunjingle's stomach, which served to trampoline him into the barrier, or rather the brand-new lion-shaped crater in the barrier.

 _"I'm glad I don't have to pay to fix that!"_

The lion emerged once more, his eye twitching in unsurpressed rage. "DIIIIIEEEE!"

 _"Fun Fact: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity!"_

The lion tore forwards, not thinking of any strategy whatsoever. His fist went up, and with a speed none could have forseen Kunjingle caught it in his paw. He turned and brought the lion face-first into the ground with amighty throw. Shifting his grip to the feline's tail, Kunjingle spun round, hurling the lion back into the same crater.

 _"Wait_ , do _I have to pay for that?"_

The lion dragged himself to his feet, screamed a lot of rude words and hurled himself forwards. His fist hit Kunjingle in the stomach, only for the fat to catapult his fist back into his face.

Kunjingle grabbed the lion's head and brought it into his tensed stomach. It was like hitting a brick wall, and the next time Kunjingle threw him off the lion did not rise.

* * *

Saras' jaw hung slightly open. Kunjingle had knocked someone out with his stomach alone. That was...oddly impressive.

"Never seen that before." Reidak summarised.

* * *

 _"Kunjingle joins Babirasu on the victory list. It's a shame we couldn't see more of him, really. Alas poor lion, we BEARLY got to know you!"_

With a small bow, Kunjingle slowly travelled back to the waiting area.

 _"Hahahahahahaha! Bearly! Get it? SQUAWK!"_

"He can't talk but boy can he fight! I didn't even know fat people could fight! I mean, my Kung Fu teacher was fat but still. Fat people fighting is woefully underdone." Li I chattered.

"Next you'll be saying 'pandas can do Kung Fu'." Jiao'ao commented drily. "A kung fu panda...honestly that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

Lang spun the peacock round to face him. Jiao'ao's blue eyes stared into the red panda's white and black one.

"What have you got, against pandas?" He growled dangerously.

"A-a-absolutely nothing." He gulped audibly.

"Good!" Lang shoved him away.

"Congratulations Kunjingle-sama!" Han Guan congratulated.

The bear patted the wolverine on the head, and threw in a few whistles and pops that he could not comprehend.

Li I promptly punched Han Guan on the shoulder. "Yeah don't worry about it man! With my amazing plan put into motion we'll definetly be able to get you through this task!"

Before he could explain that he wasn't worried Jiao'ao decided to dampen the rabbit's spirits.

"Yes well the odds of two of you-" the peacock indicated Saras, Han Guan and Li I. "Getting picked has just dropped a little. So your wonderful plan isn't as wonderful as you wish."

"To be fair I wasn't worrying." Han Guan pointed out.

 _"Saras Kanbujian Kanbu Shifty-how many names do you even need?! and Han Guan!"_

Saras blinked. Han Guan shot him a rather obvious double claws-up that was meant to be secret and skipped into the arena.

"You were saying?" Li I asked, giving the peacock a smug look of satisfaction.

Saras followed the wolverine at a slower pace. On one paw he was pretty sure he could take Han Guan down if he wanted to...and as tempting as it was to guarantee his spot in the next round he doubted he could live with the look on Han's face. But how exactly was he meant to fake it? Did he go all out and show off his forms? Did he just dodge Han Guan's attacks and hope the wolverine didn't accidentally knock him out? Would Han Guan try to pull one on him?

He was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he only realized he walked into the arena by the time Chaonao yelled.

 _"Fight!"_

Han Guan extended his claws as quick as a flash and charged forwards. He swung rather clearly above Saras's head.

Still the shapeshifter had been taken by surprise and in a sudden panic had teleported onto the first place he had caught sight of. Which happened to be the judge table.

Green eyes met brown ones as Saras found himself face to face with Badr, their noses less then an inch apart.

 _"Geez are you trying to give me a heart attack?!"_ Chaonao held a wing to his chest, his breathing was quick and desperate.

Duyao's eyes narrowed at the object around the fox's neck. She knew that amulet. _Badr you bastard I'm going to kill you..._ Under the table her clenched fists were shaking.

Saras stood up from his crouching position and proceeded to knock the timer off the table trying to regain some dignity.

Han Guan then proceeded to ruin his life by bringing his claws down in a powerful chop. Naturally, he wasn't aiming for Saras, so instead he cut the table clean in two. This caused the shapeshifter to slip and his nose landed right amongst Safi's lips.

 _"Oooooooh! That's some really not subtle flirting! SQUAWK!"_

Han Guan opened his mouth and closed it. Saras, burning with shame, pulled free, before hastily wiping his nose clean with his paws as best as he could.

Loudly, Han Guan whispered. "Is this part of the plan?"

"You kissed me?" Safi asked, her paw over her chest. "YOU KISSED ME!? I'LL DESTROOOOY YOU!"

 _"Technically he slipped, and you kissed him."_

Nothing Chaonao, or anyone, could have said would have stopped Safi lunging at him with outstretched claws.

Luckily Saras had fought fiercer opponents and easily dodged the claw swipe-but not the knee Han Guan brought into his gut.

The wolverine gasped, his paws on his face. "Shifty-san I'm so sorry! I didn't think I was going to hit you!"

 _"Oh sweet Han Guan, you're meant to hit him!"_

"Oh, er-yeah!" He proceeded to bring his elbow down (after mercifully retracting his claws) on Saras' head and, lightly, shoved the fox into the sand.

" _See! It's not that hard!"_

Dizzily, Saras got to his feet, and teleported away from the wolverine's next attack (which would have missed anyways). He gave a nervous glance at the judges. The horse looked to be chuckling and Chaonao was equally amused... Then again the parrot seemed amused by almost everything. The frog was giving him a look of deepest loathing only matched by the look on Safi's face. Badr looked intrigued, which he hoped was due to his magic rather than thoughts of how to peel his skin off.

Han Guan was upon him again, swinging his elbows at him with deadly speed. Or at least, it would be deadly if he was actually aiming for his opponent. "Sorry about that." He whispered.

" _You don't need to be sorry! You're doing a great job! SQUAWK!"_

"I am?" In his moment of distraction he accidentally nailed Saras on the nose.

 _"Yes you are!"_

Saras rolled his eyes. At this rate he would probably get less points than anyone. He needed a strategy...

* * *

"So was this your 'wonderful' plan?" Jiao'ao returned the smug look the rabbit had given him.

"Well yeah but with...better acting and less kissing. Give me a break I didn't plan _this_!"

"Or anything." Jiao'ao said.

Li I frowned, then grinned again. "What was that about pandas?" He asked loudly.

Lang gave the peacock a deathglare and Jiao'ao shut up.

* * *

"Time out!" Saras called. In his moment of distraction Han Guan smacked him across the muzzle.

" _Do we allow time outs?"_

"Well...the timer isn't actually counting and we wouldn't want to stay here forever now would we?" Saras asked, playing for time. He had an idea that would probably be more impressive if the judges didn't know he was working on it with Han.

" _Oh right, wait a second! What side was it on?"_

Saras seized his opportunity. "Han,I'mgoingtoturnintoamoleanddigaholeinfrontofyouthenI'mgoingtoflyoutofthatholeasadragonwhenmycheeksstartbulgingjumpintotheholesothatIcanatleastshowoffonegoodmove."

The wolverine looked confused. "Er...so where's the hole?"

Saras opened his mouth to explain but the opportunity was lost.

 _"Your time restarts now! SQUAWK!"_

Saras vanished in a puff of green, leaving the wolverine alone in the arena. For a moment all was silent. Then the sand began shooting up and circling him.

 _"Does he have a deathworm too?!"_

Duyao's eyes narrowed so low they appeared to be simple slits. Clearly this fox was some associate of Badr's...

Then the sand in front of Han Guan exploded up and out flew Saras.

 _"Oh no it's not a deathworm-just a dragon everyone!"_

Almost every jaw dropped open. Saras landed behind the wolverine, hoping he would remember their plan. Or rather the plan he had so hastily tried to explain.

Han Guan's jaw fell open and he began spluttering stupidly. The dragon was not bigger than him and skinny besides, but to be fair they were creatures that existed mostly in myths and he had never seen anything quite like what he was facing now.

Saras threw him a not-so-secret wink.

The wolverine looked more confused.

Saras' head did a weird kind of twist accompanied by 'subtle' wink. Han Guan went 'ohhhhh' and then Saras reared his head back, his cheeks bulging as flame filled within them.

Just as the wolverine dove into the convieniently-placed hole, Saras let go. Fire exploded from his mouth and scorched the sand.

Badr shielded his eyes from the brightness of the flames. This was magnificent! He would certainly want to know more about the fox...

 _"My eyes!"_

"I told you not to look." Tianqi muttered.

 _"I'm a commentator and a judge. It's my job to look!"_

The flames burned themselves out, and Han Guan climbed out the hole, shaking sand out of his fur.

"Time's up!" Announced Badr, with a wide smile. "Please stand for judging."

Saras and Han Guan walked over to the remains of the table.

Safi fixed them both with a killer scowl. "No points! You both disgust me! In fact you," she pointed at Saras. "Are such a disgusting piece of filth I want to remove points from you! Wait, make that body parts!" She lunged again, but was held back by Tianqi.

Duyao frowned at them. "Your magic is..something, but kind of a cheat. Ten points." It sounded like giving him any points was a pain. "And you can't aim but that trick with the hole was a good trick. Twenty." It was evident that she was in an exceptionally bitter mood. Clearly the table had been precious to Duyao. Or she had a thing against shapeshifters. She'd been somewhat nice to everyone else...

"I disagree." Badr said. "Your magic is unique and impressive. Fifty points!" Saras' tail began wagging slightly. "But you." He gave Han the disgusted look most people saved for sworn enemies. "No aim and you broke the table. Twenty points." Han's ears drooped and his face fell. For one moment Saras wanted to smack the cat, but the thought of the Deathworm kept him at bay. And getting disqualified.

 _"You know what's really funny is that you guys are getting points deducted for the things you did that were good. Look I'm a showman, I can tell when someone's missing on purpose or whispering and winking plots. That said, I think the audience can like the idea of two friends trying to make a good fight without hurting the other! Forty points! But don't do that again. It's cute the first time but just plain stupid twice."_

* * *

"I told you nobody would fall for your acting." Jiao'ao muttered.

"Yeah, only the frog, Badr and his daughter." Li shot back.

* * *

"While it was pretty obvious you were acting-and poor acting it is-I stand by my code of judging based on personality. And it says a lot about both of you that after only a short while together you would work out a way to work together. Teamwork truly makes the dream work. Thirty five each."

 _"So ladies and gentlemen Saras of the many names and species-yeesh even your nickname's a mouthful!- stands at a hundred and thirty-five points!"_

There was polite cheering.

 _"And Han Guan gets a total of a hundred and ninety-three!"_

"That didn't pan out as I visualized it." Li I said with a frown. "Still neither of them are eliminated are they? So my plan worked!"

Han Guan and Saras walked up the stairs side-by-side. He couldn't help feeling that if he'd been trying he could have taken Han Guan out...Still he hadn't wasted much energy and was still in a good fighting condition, though his nose did, admittedly, hurt. And Safi wanted his face peeled off slowly, but that wasn't in any way new.

But he was still in the running and so was Han Guan.

"Sorry about the whole accidental kiss thing, Shifty-san. It was really embarrassing and I swear it was an accident!"

"Han...it's okay. I'd rather never talk about it again anyways." Han Guan beamed, and Saras was reminded of Shan Qu. Why did he always end up with the well-meaning incompetent?

"And I'm sorry for accidentally hitting you...er thrice."

It was probably because well-meaning incompetents liked him.

"Yeah it's not like they hurt much anyways. Don't think too much on it."

"Okey dokey!"

And he guessed he liked them too.

* * *

 _Footnote: Seeing how badly Han Guan's 'death' affected him in Between Brothers (especially early on) it's kinda annoying that the original House of Tamod didn't have more of them bonding. I also liked the dynamic of Li I and Jiao'ao and in light of everything they have an interesting parallel. And very little Safi and inconsistent character details...I am reworking this for a reason ya know!_

 _That said it's not very easy to write some of the more intricate details due to spoilers in the prequel fic (to be fair this story is littered with them). For example the complex Duyao. So much of why she absolutely hates Badr is central to Back in the Day. She's probably the only one of my many villains (well maybe not but the most likely) that could get a redemption (though whether or not she will is a mental debate)._

 _Also I have restarted my devianart account. It is now called TheGreyCoincidence and my first order of business is to post a drawing of every character that is guaranteed to make an appearance in the Stories of Saras or has already made one. So yeah, go check that out._

 _And because I'm nice I'm going to shout out a few fics._

 _Kung Fu Academia is a fun little fic still in its early stages written by the nice TheDragonsaver. It's kind of like My Hero Academia and your usual KFP high school fics-but what it really does is take the good stuff from both of those and adds its own flair. Its fun._

 _Funeral of a Madman by Eldritch Hunter. You really need a stomach for this one. And open lights and definetly do not read the first chapter in the middle of the night when its all dark and quiet! While its both creepy and gory to sometimes extreme levels it's also action-packed and intriguing. Very cool in a morbid kind of way!_

 _The first? Story from lionkingfactsguy3. Tales of the Warriors: Nabiki. Good action, mysterious plotline, reasonably compelling main character. It's still in it's early stages and could use a bit of love._

 _That's all from me for now!_


	18. Armed and Ending

For the next match Lang faced the slow lorris.

 _"And remember guys, no acting! Fight!"_

Lang brought his spear down and charged forwards. The simian fainted.

 _"What the hell?! That was quick! SQUAWK!"_

The ape now had a prominent wet patch on his pants.

* * *

"What a coward." Ba snapped, drawing stares from everyone.

"Well, Lang is covered in green blood, has monstrous strength and a really creepy scar. Personally I don't judge him." Said Han Guan. "N-not that I'm scared. No! I'm not scared of _anything_!" The wolverine shot his paw into the air, accidentally nailing Mulaohu on the nose.

The chongching replied with a punch of her own that sent him flying back several feet.

* * *

 _"Well that makes Lang the third person guaranteed to proceed. That also means that the next elimination is the last one!"_

Suddenly the atmosphere was extremely tense.

 _"Rightey! Ba vs Hong Ze!"_

Wordlessly, Ba swept into the arena. Hong Ze was less quiet.

"Ha Naan! I'm going to absolutely outdo you now!" The elk leapt into the arena and drew a pair of scimitars from the depth of his robes, twirling them expertly around him.

The crowd cheered loudly. Ba faced him, hidden under the cloak none could see his expression.

"One of yours Duyao. I hope this one can actually fight!" Badr remarked snidely.

Duyao shot him a scowl. "Believe me, he can."

 _"Fight!"_

Hong Ze made the first move, swinging his scimitar down at his opponent with blinding speed. Ba sidestepped casually, but Hong Ze kept going at him, the elk's blades were spinning so fast they looked like blurred discs of silver. Ba kept away, ducking and weaving and sidestepping. Eventually his back hit the barrier. In a sudden burst of speed Ba planted his arms into the elk's chest, pushing him backwards.

Hong Ze's eyes narrowed at the strength displayed, and this time assumed a defensive stance. He waited for Ba to make the next move.

 _"It's pretty cool to see someone armed getting beat up by someone unarmed!"_

"I am not getting beat up!" Hong Ze shouted back.

Before Chaonao could reply, two blades shot out from under Ba's cloak.

 _"Well I guess he is armed!"_

Ba took a running leap. Mid-air he swung one sword into his opponent's legs, the other went for his head. Hong Ze blocked both, but was unable toavoid the double leg kick that got planted on his chest and sent him skidding backwards through the sand at breakneck speeds.

As Ba came swinging once more Hong Ze rolled forwards, letting the blades and his opponent, sail over him. He stabbed a scimitar into the sand and drew a small, grey pellet. Ba charged forwards once more, swinging once again from two different directions. Hong Ze dodged both and hurled the smoke bomb at his face. In the cloud of smoke that followed the elk planted two punches and a strong kick to his opponent. Finally he slashed wildly, and heard a loud ripping sound.

The smoke cleared and Ba was naked.

" _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! SQUAWK!"_

"Aaaaaaaaaaaah!" Screamed Hong Ze.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Screamed Safi, sounding somewhat more manly than the other two.

Tianqi and Badr were eyeing Duyao with shock.

And the other competitors were all staring at Ba with shock (Naan, Ji Rou, Dianbo, Kunjingle, Jiao'ao, Babirasu, Mulaohu), fear (the pig, Li I, Han Guan, Saras, Wong) or their usual expressions (calm for Reidak, grumpy for Lang, happy for Wugu).

Ba was as tall as a cat or a fox, with sleek, small black fur all over his body that he had died red and beaded around his head. His eyes were all of different colours, from milky white to deep black. He wore nothing but a belt around his waist, where dangled four wooden handles. He was a spider.

"Put it back on! Daddy make him hide his ugly face!" Safi yelled. The audience too, appeared disgruntled by his appearance.

"You'll pay for this." Ba said in a harsh whisper. He stood on two legs, two arms held his blades, the other four took the handles on his belt and drew them. From each one sprund another blade.

 _"Okay, he's got six hands and six swords and eight eyes..."_ Counting was doing wonders to Chaonao's heartrate. " _He's armed! Hahahaha! That one's priceless!"_

Hong Ze recovered from his initial shock just in time to jump out of the way of six blades flying down at him. The elk went to retrieve his other scimitar, when a gob of clean, white silk pinned his hoof to the ground. Ba swung down once more, and Hong Ze only just rolled out of the way of the blades. But not the kick that followed it. Ba raised his blades for a finishing blow when the elk yelled.

"I withdraw! I withdraw!"

Ba stopped his blades an inch from the elk's back.

 _"Er right Hong Ze has withdrawn! Congratulations Ba you have ended the Second Task!"_

There was some forced cheering from the crowd and clapping from the judges. But Ba ignored them. He withdrew his blades back into their handles and stowed them on his belt.

Then, silently, the spider walked back up to the other competitors, most of whom left him a wide berth of space.

"Good job Ba! I knew you'd win!" Wugu congratulated.

Ba merely nodded as a gesture.

 _"Alright, ladies and gentlemen, clear out, clear out! Hope you come back for more! Your lovely host wishes you the best!"_

The arena emptied itself.

* * *

"Good job guys Team Battai has gone through!" Li I held up his paws for high fives, but only Han Guan supplied him with one.

"We never agreed on that name." Saras said, deadpanned, with Kunjingle nodding besides him.

* * *

Duyao seized her opportunity. "I want a rematch." Tianqi gave her a queer look. Safi raised an eyebrow and Badr's face hardened.

 _"That's a great idea for Mid-task!"_ Said Chaonao. _"The finalists of the original Five Tasks of the House of Tamod throw down once more! Now that'll rake in the yuan!"_

Badr opened his mouth to spew excuses, but it was too late. " _Hey attention everybody! Because there's a bit of a break between the next task and this, we're going to be hosting a throwback match to the previous House of Tamod! Badr vs Duyao! Details soon available! Place your bets and make your reservations now! SQUAWK!"_

Suddenly, Ba was forgotten and the crowd left, chattering excitedly.

Then the competitors walked back towards the arena. Hong Ze said a brief goodbye to Naan and Ji Rou and then parted with the crowd.

Badr was not even in a good enough mood to fake a smile. "Dear competitors, there are now sixteen of you remaining, but the points you have recieved do not matter. The next task will rock you to the core! You will be given a unique riddle each, when you return, you must find the object of your riddle and bring it back in order to claim victory. Only ten of you will proceed. Now until we prepare you are free to use the Palace grounds and to visit the village. You will recieve your riddle prior to the Third Task. Good luck!" And with a great, sweeping bow, Badr pointed to the door.

Eagerly, the competitors left. Saras stiffled a yawn. He was surprised to find himself tired and was thankful that the carriages were awaiting them.

Babirasu and the gem could wait one more day...

* * *

 _Footnote: Short chapter compared to last time, but rather eventful I hope you agree! Still it's small size is necessary for the fic to flow easily from arc to arc, thus concludes the Second Task!_

 _Ba's reveal would probably have been more of a shock if I hadn't written this story already XD_


	19. A Spa Treatment Not to Envy

Saras regretted not swapping with Kunjingle when he awoke the next morning. The reason he regretted it was primarily because the bear had fallen through his bunk and landed butt-first right on top of him. It was a good thing Kunjingle had awoken on impact, for otherwise Saras felt he would have become a pancake.

The bear was currently patting him on the head and doing the odd communicative things he did. How Li I could understand the language was beyond him. But Saras could tell it had been an accident and didn't fancy picking a fight with someone who could have easily crushed him anyways. Either way Kunjingle seemed sincerely sorry.

Stifling a yawn Saras shrugged the bear's paw off. "It's fine. It was an accident." He yawned again and crossed the room to stare out the window.

Outside, the sky was a dull grey that would become a rainbow of colour upon sunrise. But it was still a good half hour away from sunrise... How none of the others had woken up was a mystery to him. Envying them, he decided to relax as best he could.

Turning back to his bunk, he found Kunjingle snoring. His ear gave a twitch of annoyance. "No, Kunjingle get off, that's my bed." But the bear was fast asleep and taking up all the bed-space. Letting out a low growl of frustration Saras bent forwards and gave the ursine's large stomach a shove. The fat jiggled, but the bear did not budge. "Get off!" Saras snapped, turning around and pushing all his weight against the bear. Naturally it made no difference.

He let out another frustrated growl. Sleep was out of the question then. _That doesn't mean I have to stand here doing nothing..._

But sneaking into Babirasu's room was risky and more importantly he didn't know where it was. Breakfast wouldn't be served until later... He decided to have a bath. After all it was unlikely anyone else was awake this early. He snatched up his ridiculous pink towel, slung it across his shoulder and strolled out the room, leaving his dorm-mates in blissful sleep.

* * *

Saras walked into the men's bathhouse. It was noted by the relatively giant Yang sign on the door. How he had missed it the first time was beyond him. It was empty, thankfully, and so stifling a yawn, he began undressing. Just as he undid his belt Safi walked in with a triumphant 'gotcha!'

The loud noise caused him to stumble forwards, trip over his pants and fall on his face.

"Not so tough now are you!"

He was shirtless and wearing nothing but underwear. What was with her and horrible timing?

"D-do you mind?" He hopped back to his feet and hastily pulled his pants back up. "This is the men's room." He said weakly.

"Oh really?" She asked sarcastically. "Trust me I really don't like looking at you."

That explained the fact that she had walked in on him half-naked twice.

"But we made a deal, remember?"

"We did?" Saras could not remember making any deal.

She glared at him. "Don't you dare try and outfox me! You promised me a favour, I'm here to collect it."

"Ohhh..." He remembered now. "Well today is really a bad day...Like a really bad day, I mean it's not even a day yet. Er-maybe another time?"

"You think you can get away with it don't you?"

He froze up suddenly. Did she know his true purpose? Had the gem been hidden instead of stolen? "G-get away w-with what?" Escape routes flew into his mind. He could flush himself with the bathwater, he could fly out the window, perhaps knock out Safi first...

"With kissing me, with eyeing my naked body for hours, for following and harassing me!"

"First of all, I was not eyeing you for hours. I looked at you for a moment and wanted to gauge out my eyes."

Safi gasped. "You even insult my good looks!?"

"I did not kiss you! I-i-it wasn't even a kiss! An-and you're the one harassing and following me!"

Safi took a deep breath. "Okay, you're right. I'm sorry. I should go straight to the Imperial Army!" She turned to leave, and found Saras barring her way.

"Okay, what's the favour?"

Safi smiled evilly. "Put that filthy jumper of yours on and follow me."

Feeling utterly miserable, Saras trailed behind her as she walked at a brisk pace ahead of him. He gave a last longing look at the Palace behind him and continued forwards. They went down the steps, and continued further down the town. The streets were silent and empty. They walked and walked.

"Where are we even going?" Saras ventured to ask as the first rays of sunrise washed the town with colour.

In a tone that brokered no conversation Safi spoke. "You'll see. And can you walk a bit further away? I don't want people to think I'm associated with you in any way."

Saras continued following. "Is it the arena?"

"No! Now shut up! You're not meant to talk to me in public."

His eye twitched in annoyance. _One day Safi...one day..._

Finally, they arrived to a place far out of town. "Here we are. Safi's Spa, Inn and Dance Club!"

It looked...about as beautiful as it's owner, in Saras' opinion. It was surrounded on all sides by garbage and mud that smelled...suspiciously not like mud... It was a two floored building, painted bright pink all over, with tiles that were a green so sickly Saras refused to look at it for more than a second.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Well..." She shot him a glare. "It's wonderful!"

She beamed, and stepped forwards, taking out a key and opening the door to a large hall.

It was a large room, with about a dozen tables and several assorted chairs each. There was a bar to one side, and a large stage on the other, with rosy pink curtains that made Saras' eyes water. Here the smell was of perfume. Lavender-scented.

"This is the Dance Club, people come here and pay to watch me dance. On the second floor, their are rooms for sleeping. Fifty yuan a night, sixty if you want breakfast. We can host about ten people here. Follow me." She pulled open the curtains, and opened a large, hidden door that lead to a staircase.

Saras followed, wondering with growing anxiety of what was in store for him. He couldn't sing or dance or cook if that's what she wanted and the interior was already clean. If she expected him to swim through the mud outside she had another think coming!

Downstairs the room was dark, until Safi lit a candle. "This is the Spa. We offer pedicures, manicures, mudbaths, massages and things like that. If you want I can have a go at you for a hundred yuan. You won't look as good as me-"

"I'm fine." _And not that ugly._

"We're also incubating eggs for Miss... I don't actually know her name." Safi shrugged. "Just make sure not to crack any of them while you're here."

"Yeah... About that... What exactly am I doing here?"

"Well when I say 'we' what I really mean is 'me'. I'm the only one that works here so business is small. Still I have three regulars and one new customer from out of town. So you're in charge of the spa while I get a day off."

"Day off? You're just going to leave me here?" That was fine really. He could just lock the door and leave...

"Well not until my regulars arrive. They work as dancers here. So until they arrive I'm going to stay here with you."

There goes that idea...

"This was my grandpa's place, on my father's side. Dad never talks about him..."

Saras honestly didn't care about Badr's family history.

"You're meant to ask why."

"Why?" Said Saras imagining Han Guan and Li I settling down for a match of Battai after a nice, filling breakfast.

"I don't know. Dad doesn't talk about anything much. Except mom, and I am so over that. My mom died when I was little. I don't think she and my dad ever got along." She shrugged. "There was a big scandal here ya know. Loads of people were discovered dead. So I built it up, gave it a splash of colour and here we are."

Saras nodded dumbly, trying to ignore his empty stomach's protests.

"You're meant to ask something." Safi chided in a sing-song voice.

"Why?"

"Well everyone thinks of me as Miss Tamod. I want to be Safi! I count, me, my looks, hard work, everything those matter. My name and my dad-not so much."

"Right." Why of all people did he have to be Safi's victim?

There was a knock from above and Safi pounced to her feet. "Alright, just do everything they tell you to do. Bye!" And with a final, brief wave, she left.

Saras was glad to be rid of her. Little did he know that his troubles had only just begun...

* * *

Badr rubbed his aching head. Curse Duyao! He should have known she'd have tried something like this! Fifty years and she hadn't let go of petty revenge! And now he was going to have to fight her. Still, he had won once, surely he could do it again!

* * *

The first customer was a small duck, with feathers dyed bright green. She didn't even bother with names.

"So you're the scrawny rat she dug up!"

His ear twitched. "Yes." He growled lowly.

"Well let's see what you can do. I'd like my feet looked after and my feathers dyed red." The duck lay on the table that served as the massage bed, and held up two, pristene webbed feet, painted gold.

Saras grabbed a bucket of water, and a sponge, turned, tripped and sent the water flying.

"Gaaah! What are you doing, trying to drown me!?" Her green dye was coming off, though at the moment it looked like she was drenched in green paint.

"I tripped." Saras explained, looking for the object he had tripped on to begin with.

"Well get up and fix me!"

He stood up and grabbed the box of red dye. He promptly tripped again.

"You sicko! When Safi hears about this you are FIRED!" So the duck stormed off, dressed in green and red dye and dripping wet.

 _Well...that's something to look forwards to..._

* * *

"Where's Shifty?" Li I asked, chewing a dumpling. He swallowed. "I thought we were all going to play Battai!"

"Is there honestly nothing that you know how to do?"

"Battai is the only thing worth knowing how to do." Han Guan said solemnly. He then giggled. "Well obviously not, we have to walk and everything and eating's important too-"

"Okay Han, we get it." Jiao'ao interrupted.

Kunjingle made a clicking sound and snapped his claws, pointing at a jar of saffron.

"How come you can't talk normally?" Li I asked, passing him the wanted spice. "I'm like the only guy that gets you."

Kunjingle burped, stomped his feet, clapped his paws and moaned.

"No waaaaay! I visited one when I was younger. So your parents?"

He snorted, made a popping noise, rubbed his stomach and sneezed.

"Gosh that's tough, but hey they still care for you, am I right?"

He nodded.

* * *

The next customer was a pig that looked remarkably like a rock. "I would like my hooves painted." She said, sitting down and shoving her hooves into his face. "It's remarkably nice of Safi to get you this job, isn't it?"

"Very." He grabbed the paint, tripped and spilled the yellow all over his face.

"Clumsy, aren't we?"

Wordlessly he snatched the green paint, and dumped her hooves into it.

"That is not how you paint hooves!" She screamed, kicking the bucket off her feet and splashing it all over his face. She then proceeded to rant for a full twenty minutes.

"Are you paying attention!?" She bellowed.

In truth he had fallen asleep. "Wha-what?"

She snatched another bucket of paint and slammed it over his head, before leaving in a very bad mood, leaving a trail of green hoofprints.

* * *

"So that's why you're so strong!"

Han Guan and Jiao'ao looked from one to the other, wondering how on earth Li I could understand the bear.

* * *

His towel was now pink, blue, yellow and green. His face was all of those and red where his fur showed. He had been unable to wipe the floor in time either and now it too was multicoloured. At least he'd chased off the other two quite easily...

The third was a huge crocodile, one so fat that next to her Wong looked thin as a stick. "Hello!" She beamed down at him. "I'd like the full treatment please!"

Saras blinked. Had she not seen what he'd done to the other two? "Er- right... So what is the full treatment?"

"You don't know?"

"Well I forgot." He replied.

"Oh that's fine." She relaxed on the table. "Well you massage my upper and lower back, then you get the hot coals out, then you rub mud all over me, then you give me a pedicure, then you peel the mud off, then you polish my teeth, then you give me an oiling, then you knead my tail, and then you pick out an outfit for me!"

Saras felt like he was going to faint.

"Right, get to work!"

He approached steadily, how was he even meant to reach any part of her back?

"So he was like 'it must be destiny' and I was like 'we should totally meet up again'."

Saras morphed into a hummingbird and flapped onto the crocodile's back. He had no idea how to give a massage...

"And then he said 'meet me here tomorrow' and I was like 'okay' but in my head I was like 'ooooh yeah baby!'. But then he never showed up. Do you think he's shy, or is just playing hard to get?"

"Ummm... I really have no idea."

"You're right. Must be hard to get. Hey can you get to something already?"

"Well... It's just there's a lot of... Back to massage."

"Are you calling me fat?!"

"N-no!"

She twisted around and grabbed him by the throat just as he turned back into a fox.

"Listen here mister! These pounds you see is all just puppy fat! And you don't even want to know where the last guy who called me fat went!"

He gulped audibly and nodded.

"Why are you staring at my stomach? Are you trying to imply I eat people?!" Her grip strengthened.

"N-not at all!" He squeaked. The only reason he was staring at her stomach was because it was the largest part of her. And full in his face.

"Just because I am fat does not mean I eat people! Fat people don't just go around sitting on everyone else! Fat people have feelings too you know!?"

He tried to nod, but she wasn't paying any attention to what he was doing anyways.

"And just so that you know I'm going to show you how to do a massage! I'm giving you the full treatment!"

"It's really not necessary." Saras wheezed, just as she got up and slammed him onto the table.

"First of all the lower and upper back!" She slammed two fists into his back, before grabbing his nose and tail and stretching them in opposite directions. His spine gave numerous loud clicks, before she proceeded to squish him into a compact shape. Then she dumped him on the table again.

Saras had a moment to catch his breath, before she was back, hot coals armed and ready.

"One on the back, one on the snout, tail, stomach and head!" She slammed a coal in each place and left them to sizzle there for a short while, before removing them.

Saras groaned weakly. The crocodile was not done, snatched him by the tail and dipped him in a barrel of mud.

"I think we can skip the pedicure... Hmm... Oh yes, tail." Slamming him down on the table she proceeded to stretch and twirl his tail, before tying it into a neat bow.

"Mud off!" She dumped him in a barrel of scented water. "And there you go! Now bye!" And with that she stormed off, slamming the door shut behind her.

He climbed out of the barrel and slumped onto the floor. All he had wanted was a bath... His bleared eyes shut, and a moment later he was snoring. Then the egg he had been tripping over earlier, rolled into view.

* * *

"So how come you're competing? Like what's your goal?"

Kunjingle coughed, drummed his stomach and rubbed at an eye to make a squishing noise.

"Oh that's wonderful!"

* * *

Saras awoke to a loud cracking and sat up abruptly. There was another crack, and a kind of wicked laughter. He blinked once, and spotted an egg shell, before emitting a loud scream. The eggs were hatching, the eggs were hatching and the baby crocs were nowhere to be seen.

Then he felt sharp gums bite into his tail, followed by two more and a last one on his toes.

"Yaaaaaaooooow!" Hopping on one foot he frantically tried to pull the reptiles free, but they refused to let go. He bumped into a shelf, and spotted the last egg falling to the floor.

Time seemed to slow down as Saras dived for the egg with a yell of "nooooooooooooooo!" Just before it splattered all over the floor his paws managed to wrap around it. Forgetting his pain for a moment, he breathed a sigh of relief.

Only for the eggshell to crack open and a green-scaled crocodile to poke his face out.

"Dada?"

"Oh dear."

The reptile pounced forwards and bit his nose.

That was when Safi walked in.

"I heard you were horrib- aw there so cute! Hold it I'm going to fetch their mother!"

Saras groaned as the lizards tugged harmlessly (but painfully) at his form. On the bright side it looked like Safi wasn't going to cause him any more trouble.

* * *

 _"Do you mind!? Not everyone hear speaks... His language!"_ Jiao'so finally burst out. Then, after taking several, calming breaths he continued in a milder tone. "Please translate."

"So basically Kunjingle's parents are feral. So he was born in a Feral asylum after his dad escaped in mating season. Now because his parents are... Wild he developed at a slower rate and can't talk for some reason. He was technically deemed too dangerous for an orphanage-which is so not cool by the way. As a chaotic child and orphan I know that _nothing_ is too dangerous for an orphanage. Anyways, so he was raised by the asylum keepers and growing up he helped them with dealing with wild animals of the tougher kind-hence his brute strength and gentle heart."

"I'm sorry about your parents." Jiao'ao said courteously.

"Oh no they still love him you know. He'll always be their sweet little cub."

This made Han Guan go 'D'aaaaaaaaaaaw'. Really, really loudly. Multiple heads turned in his direction.

"In my defence the best restaurant in my town had a whole gang of guys who said 'daw' much louder than I did."

"What about your...stomach?" Jiao'ao asked, turning back to Kunjingle. "How did you make it so...deadly?" There really was no way of asking that question without sounding like an idiot.

"Oh, he just eats a lot, so gets that nice cushion of fat, but his muscles are so strong that when he tenses them he goes hard. Not that kind of hard the other one. The tough kind."

* * *

"My babies! The mother croc hugged her children tightly, showering them with kisses.

Safi beamed at her, while Saras sat slumped on the table. He couldn't wait to just get back to the palace and get some sleep.

"And you!" The croc lady snatched him up. "Thank you so much for making sure they didn't start life alone!"

"Well it was...my pleasure."

"Oh you're just adorable!" She then proceeded to shower him with kisses, much to his sorrow. Still kisses were better than massages...

* * *

"So you're like Master Tianqi?" Mulaohu asked, walking up to the quartet.

"He doesn't use proverbs." Replied everyone, except Kunjingle. The bear blew a raspberry, made a popping noise and then snorted.

Mulaohu rolled her eyes and sat down next to Han Guan so that she was facing Kunjingle. "I meant the feral parents bit."

* * *

As soon as the mother croc left, Safi threw him a dirty look. "Tommorow you can work as the waiter."

"W-wait what?"

"You heard me."

"B-but-"

"I still own you. The deal is that you work with me whenever I want you to, or I will make sure the only prize you get is a death certificate."

Saras groaned. The unfairness would have bothered him more if he hadn't already been soundly defeated by Safi's spa. He would just do better at avoiding her...

"Well, see you tommorow then." He said, finally able to depart.

"Bye! See you next time!"

There won't be a next time... Ever...

* * *

 _Footnote: And we get Kunjingle's backstory. One issue I had with the original was that I literally dumped all the backstories into two chapters... I prefer this method._

 _Fascinating though the treatment of ferals is I don't think I'm ever going to elaborate much on it. I consider that in Japan and China it's considered a mental problem and treated, whereas in my savage versions of India and Mongolia (and the non-existant in real life Feral Islands) they roam somewhat freely. Tianqi and Kunjingle's background really helps shed some light on this. So next time we get more of feral treatment and some more filler comedy._


	20. The Talk'

"After his time at the tournament Master Tianqi went on to do a lot of work on ferality. He found that with prolonged contact and proper care most ferals could become more or less normal people. And since he started sharing this knowledge with everyone the number of feral asylums in China has dropped to single digits! He also did a tonne of work for females in Kung Fu. A lot of people were once told they couldn't do something because they were girls and nowadays that's a pretty rare thing to hear. Back in the day you had to be really lucky to learn Kung Fu." Mulaohu continued talking, oblivious to the fact that her audience were currently immersed in an intense game of Battai. Well, until Han Guan made it ridiculously obvious by slamming down his last card.

"Muahahahahahaha! None of you are a match for my Fox of Hearts!"

Mulaohu blinked as Kunjingle, Jiao'ao and Li I let out frustrated groans. "Were any of you even paying attention?"

Han Guan was still not paying her any attention, scooped up the Battai set, laughing uproariously at his victory.

Mulaohu stood up, grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and raised him to eye level. "Listen here buster! When I'm talking to you, you best pay attention, you got that?!"

Han Guan nodded vigorously. She then dropped him unceremoniously back in his seat. She opened her mouth to say something, when the door of the hall opened and Saras dragged himself in. Pretty much everyone's eyes widened.

His tail was tied into a neat bow, his face and fur painted in actual paint, mud and lipstick-markings. To top it all off, he was dripping wet.

"Hi guys." He said, exhaustion clear in his voice as he sat down on their bench. He noticed their stunned looks and shook his head weakly. "Don't ask... Just don't."

"Right." Mulaohu recovered first. "So do you want your tail like that or..." His tired look answered her question better than any words could. "Hold on." She snatched his tail in paw, tugged it hard, and mercifully it came free of the bow.

"Thanks."

"So, while you were getting... kissed... we were talking about ferals." The chongqing explained helpfully.

"Actually we were playing Battai and she was talking to herself." Li I provided.

Saras nodded, then rest his head on the table with a groan. "I _hate_ this tournament."

"Oh...well... here are your cards!" Said Li I shoving a bunch right in his face.

At that moment in walked Badr Tamod, wearing a large, wide smile. He marched over to the table, and placed both paws on Saras' shoulders, inciting a jolt of surprise from the fox.

"Mr Kanbujian, just the fox I wanted to see. In my office. Now." Saras gave him a quizzical look.

"Er- I-I, I-" He sighed resignedly. Evidently Safi had chosen to not go easy on him... He handed the bewildered Li I back his cards and stood up.

"Excellent!" Badr turned around with a whirl of his cape and lead the way to his office.

* * *

Badr held the door upon for him upon their arrival. "Please, make yourself comfortable."

With mounting dread Saras sat down on the chair- a new one, decorated with so many pillows the fox practically sunk into it- and awaited his judgement while surrounded by walls of soft fluffiness.

"I am so glad that you and my daughter are getting along! Let me tell you how long I've hoped she'd meet a nice young man." He strolled over to a wine flask and uncorked it. "May I tempt you?"

"I-I'm too young to drink." He knew this trick, it was meant to instill in him a false sense of security, so that when Badr inevitably striked he would not see it coming. Well it was not going to work!

"Ah, pity." Badr replaced the cork and sat opposite him. "So, you and my daughter?"

"I-it's nothing sir. I never did a-anything-" Badr laughed uproariously.

"Your denial makes it all the more obvious. You're in love."

"N-no!" Saras stared at him in shock. This was honestly worst than getting mauled alive.

"Yes. And you have no need to fear, I fully approve. Inter-species marriage is woefully underdone." Badr winked at him. "And I can help you with that."

Half of him was disgusted enough to be sick, the other half was stunned enough by the black cat's sheer stupidity to be unable to do anything beyond gape wordlessly.

"Buuuuut, I'll need something in return. And that is where you come in. As a shapeshifter there is a small favour I'd like you to do for me."

"What kind of favour?" Saras asked, dread returning with avengeance.

"Oh nothing too difficult. I just need you to take my place tomorrow. You see I like the idea of mystery, it would be a nice twist if the 'me' Duyao ends up fighting is actually 'you'."

"Er-"

"But as a nobody you have no right to be anywhere near my daughter... unless you won this tournament of course."

Saras closed his mouth...maybe this was worth hearing after all...

"You see, I like you. You remind me of myself. Young, thin, the underdog. Someone noone has ever heard of or cares about. I was a nobody, until I won this tournament, then my life changed. I was somebody worth knowing, and worth loving."

"What about your family?" Saras blurted out, remembering what Safi had said about Badr not talking about them.

The black cat's face hardened. Then softened again. "Alas, Safi is the only family I have left. But who cares about the past, the future is what really matters, no?"

"I guess."

"Exactly! So, are you in?"

"Um... one thing though, how do I take your 'form'?"

Badr blinked. "You are a shapeshifter."

"My forms are...limited." Saras replied.

Badr frowned. "Well, surely with enough practice-"

"Nah, I've got a limit."

Badr frowned. There was no way out of this apparently... He sighed deeply. "Oh well, no matter. Tell me, how is the necklace I gave you working?"

"Well it...looks nice."

"Excellent. I'm glad you like it. Now, if you don't mind I have a lot of work to be doing. Please, leave." Badr pointed at the door.

With difficulty Saras extricated himself from the pillows and left the room, wondering what on earth had just transpired.

As he left, he failed to notice a hooded figure staring at him from the shadows.

"Hey Ba, how come we have to follow that guy around?"

Saras turned to the sound, but saw nothing but the vase. He shrugged and walked off, intent on finally getting some sleep.

* * *

 _Footnote: Hey guys! Just some notices (like wow what a short chapter after that really long one). I got my laptop back! Yay! Which means I type faster but less frequently, so don't expect a significantly larger output of chapters. Interestingly I'm pretty sure this fic will be shorter than the previous version...in terms of chapters at least. Though it's still unclear.  
_

 _Anyways enjoy!_


	21. Yet Another Awkward Conversation

The next day gave Saras much-needed relief. After the whole 'spa day' debacle he had managed to get adequate amount of sleep, eat enough food to be sick, and wash off his 'treatment' in a bath that smelled of roses (and was mercifully, Safi-free). He was looking forwards to finally being able to confront Babirasu about the gem, when to his horror there was an announcement from none other than Chaonao.

 _"Dear competitors, to the weak and the ridiculously strong, your presence is required in the arena for the Mid-Task Hype-Match between the two finalists of the previous tournament!"_

This was followed up with groans of protests and excuses that varied from 'I'm ill' to 'my mommy told me not to watch any fighting today'.

 _"No buts! Not attending automatically disqualifies you. And for parental obligations, we need a signed note as proof! SQUAWK!"_

Saras frowned, remembering Badr's offer. If only he could impersonate other people. Life would be so much easier if he could just pretend to be the emperor wherever he went...

 _"Oh and for the record the carriages leave in ten minutes. So get your asses moving!"_

"Well at least we don't have to do any fighting ourselves." Li I grumbled, sounding as if that was the worst part of the deal.

Saras trailed behind the others. If he had played Badr then all he had to do was try to fight back a little, make it seem impressive, then get knocked out by the frog. And then Badr would have given him every assistance possible to advance further ahead. He would also insist that he spend time with Safi, but that was avoidable. Getting through what followed, was not.

He didn't notice where he was going and accidentally bumped into the hooded figure of Ba. The spider spun around and stared at him, with all eight of his eyes.

"S-sorry." The eyes dug into his, and there were so many that he felt dizzy just trying to keep track of them.

"You better be." The spider hissed, turning around and marching ahead.

"Sorry about him. He doesn't like people." Wugu explained. The fish's eyes looked up at him, but in them there was none of Ba's malice.

"I can tell." Saras was about to turn away when the fish gave a loud, fake, cough.

"Hey can you cart me along? I'm not very fast on my own."

Saras stared into his wide, pleading eyes, and felt his heart melt. Then forced it to harden, then looked away, then looked back. Reluctantly, the fox circled around the fishbowl, and began pushing his cart. Wugu turned in the water to look at him.

"So, how are you?"

"Fine." Always him. Something always happened to him.

"Did you rob it yet?"

"R-rob what?" He asked, suddenly in a panic. How did Wugu know?

"Remember you said you said you were a mugger."

"I never said that." Saras replied deadpanned. "You inferred that."

"Oh. But you said you robbed something from the Silver Fang Vaults."

"Well it was robbed from me so I was just er-taking it back." What went on inside this fish's mind?

"That makes sense. Why did they take it from you in the first place."

"No idea." Saras replied, really hoping this conversation ended soon.

"Was it shiny-"

"I don't know!" Saras snapped. The carriages were about to leave.

"There you are." Said Ba, he waved an arm at the fish, calling him forwards.

"Ba's over there." Wugu pointed out 'helpfully'.

Saras pushed the fish over to the carriage. Ba did not make eye contact and picked up the fish bowl, setting Wugu down on the seat. Saras turned to find another cart- _any other_ cart preferably- just as they began to roll away.

"Don't worry, you can share with us." Said Wugu cheerfully.

Saras turned back around. Wugu looked just as sweet and innocent as ever, Ba looked like he'd tear him apart if he put a single fur in. But not arriving on time would lead to disqualification. And disqualification was something he really couldn't afford.

He sat down opposite Wugu, trying to avoid Ba's many eyes. The door shut, and the horse began trotting ahead.

For a while they were silent, with Saras taking in every speck of dust on his Talon Claws. Eventually though, Ba broke the silence.

"Are you scared of me?" He asked quietly, with a hint of a hiss.

"Well er-" Saras' mouth hung open as his eyes met Ba's. It was hard to lie to the spider. "I-I get s-scared of a lot of things." He gulped audibly, wondering just how rubbish that excuse actually was.

"Including me?"

"Of course Ba. You're very scary." Said Wugu, smiling sweetly. "And Saras Kanbujian Kanbu Shifty is scared of Lang as well. He gave him a black eye when he found him looking through his stuff."

"How do you know that?" He was referring to all three facts, since he had never talked to Wugu about Lang, and hadn't given him his full name.

"I heard you."

"But you were nowhere near."

"Don't dig too deep fox, you won't find anything you'll like here." Ba growled. "Wugu don't talk to _him_."

"Ba you're so secretive." Wugu giggled. "But okay, I can be secretive too."

Saras frowned. He'd be more annoyed if Ba wasn't creepy as hell, but as it was he decided he didn't want to dive too deep on the spider's no-doubt long list of hated people.

The carriage succumbed to silence, save for the vehicle's motion.

Wugu let out a giggle. "Okay, I lied, I _can't_ be secretive. Basically when I was younger I had something injected into me. It made me feel all fuzzy-"

 _"Wugu!"_

"And I can hear things through water if I tap into it. It's so cool. I'm basically a super-spy." He said all of this in a voice of everyday conversation. But then again when you were sharing a carriage with a giant spider and a shapeshifting fox hearing through water wasn't too out of this world.

"That's...cool." The fox nodded. Ba was glaring at him intensely, but had no control over Wugu whatsoever.

"I'm not actually good at fighting though. But Ba is. He's got super-strength, his silk, eight arms, eight eyes-"

"I can count." Saras cut him off to stop the spider's growing anger in it's tracks.

"So who do you think will win?"

"Er... Ba looks...er-pretty-" He was going to add strong, but was interrupted due to his poor word-choice.

"Is that meant to be a joke?" The spider hissed.

"N-no, absolutely not."

"I meant this fight. Ba is _obviously_ going to loose this tournament."

Saras thought it was odd that Ba never reacted to Wugu beyond getting annoyed.

"Well, er Badr won last time."

Suddenly, Ba lunged forwards and punched the seat Saras had been in a puff of green earlier. The shapeshifter re-appeared next to the spider, claws at his throat. To his surprise he found a sword waiting for him, gently poking his stomach, and threatening to go further.

"Ba stop! He's my friend! Besides we don't even know if he is _you-know-what._ "

Ba let the blade slide back into the handle, and crossed his arms over his chest, looking very much like he had no inclination of stopping and would continue fighting at a moment's notice.

"Our Mistress and Badr don't like each other. Ba doesn't like Badr either. He's a monster."

Saras frowned. It was a bit rich for Ba to be calling anyone a monster. But the fox held his tongue. Ba was irrelevant, it was all irrelevant. He just needed to get to Babirasu and to get the gem. He had to focus on the mission.

"He did some terrible things to win. Like making that necklace you're wearing."

Saras tugged awkwardly at it. "I-I never wanted it...he just gave it to me." He explained, ready to have to teleport again.

"How long have you known Badr?" Ba demanded.

"Um...since this tournament started." The answer was the truth, but Ba's eyes still looked at him with dislike and mistrust.

"I hope our Mistress wins. It would bring her peace of mind if she could finally put an end to him."

"She's going to kill him?" Saras blurted out.

"He's heard too much!" Ba went for his swords.

"NO! I meant overthrow him as winner." Wugu was backtracking-that much was obvious, but Saras pretended to go along with it anyways. He had nothing to do with Duyao or Badr.

"Oh, right. Sorry, simple misunderstanding." Ba's arms were still on his handles, however. The rest of the trip was awkwardly silent. And when they arrived Ba's eyes still followed him. He pulled off the ugly necklace and tossed it as far away as he could. He had nothing to do with Badr or Duyao. Badr most likely knew what the frog was up to, and had even tried to swap him into the mix... and all while acting nice and friendly. Well they could both kill each other for all he cared, so long as he completed his mission.

"Oh hey Shifty, we missed you on the carriage. But we saved you a seat." The rabbit waved at him from the stands.

"I got them mixed up." Saras explained as he sat down next to Li. Badr and Duyao were in the arena, doing stretches. Would the black cat live another day? Inwardly, the fox shook his head. Badr and Duyao's feud was not his business. He had nothing to do with it, and hoped to remain uninvolved.

Little did he know that his hopes were just wishful thinking.

* * *

Outside the arena, the necklace shaped like the skull of a lizard, slithered forwards. Free at last, he could do what he wanted, and after several years in a box, what he wanted was to spread his madness. Perhaps with the one who had so mercilessly tossed him away...

* * *

 _Footnote: Next time we get to see Badr vs Duyao as well as the Singh Box's relevance. Then a bit of filler and then Task Three, more filler and Task Four, more filler and Task Five. Then the conclusion. In all honesty I expect that finishing this fic won't be too difficult, though it's really a coin toss as to which tournament ends first._

 _Enjoy!_


	22. Old Enemies

_"Alriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighty! Ladies and gentlemen! Birds, mammals, reptiles and the rest. Competitors and commentators, your wonderful host, me, is here today to give you the House of Tamod's Mid-Task Hype-Fest! It's a battle of the geezers between the last tournaments' winner Badr Tamod, your host, and the runner up, Duyao! SQUAWK! In this corner we have the sixty-something champion, who came from a literal garbage pile and won fifty years ago with minimal training. That's very impressive, but also suspicious as hell! You'll forgive the minority that firmly believe you a cheater!"_

Laughter echoed throughout the arena, and even Saras found himself smirking. Chaonao was certainly far less annoying when he was focusing his 'jokes' on someone else. He noted, however, that Wugu was not smiling and Ba was certainly not laughing.

 _"And in this other corner the eighty or ninety year old frog, I'm not being offensive to frogs just stating facts, she's old, who despite being a qualified combatant and the favorite to win, lost!"_

Once again the arena laughed, but Saras stopped smiling upon noting Ba's deathly glare, pointed at Chaonao...not that the parrot noticed...or wasn't used to it.

 _"So we got these two old people here. And I mean old! Like get into a retirement home already! And they should start fighting right about now!"_

A gong was struck and it's clang echoed loudly. There was a brief pause and then Duyao went in.

The frog charged forwards, swinging at Badr's head with deadly force. The cat ducked low, and tried a leg sweep, which failed, and was promptly nailed in the face with a strong kick. It was so strong the feline fell on his back and slid back through the sands before coming to a halt. He got no respite, however, as Duyao hopped into the air and came crashing back down with a chop. Badr rolled out of the way of a direct hit, but the blow's shockwave knocked him further off balance.

 _"You know I think the age jokes are getting stale...mostly because not even young people can do stuff like this anymore! SQUAWK!"_

The black cat sprung to his feet, dodging another powerful blow from Duyao, and retaliating with a slash of his claws that tore open her cheek. He threw in a kick that forced her to slide backwards through the sand. He threw a left-handed punch, but Duyao caught it. She proceeded to crush his paw in her grip, eliciting a cry of pain from the cat.

* * *

Li I went into a thinking pose, his paw on his chin. "You know considering there was so much hype about this I'm kind of disappointed. Really it's not like these two are any better than us."

"What were you expecting? A hundred Duyaos? This isn't a manga Li-sama." Han said with a chuckle.

* * *

At that moment Duyao flung Badr across the arena into the barrier, slammed her fist into her waiting palm, and after a huge puff of green smoke there was not one but over a dozen Duyaos.

* * *

"Er-well...It's still not a manga. Hehe." Han broke off and frowned at his feet. As usual he had just made himself look like an idiot.

"And there aren't a hundred of them." Saras pointed out, noting the gesture and feeling the guilt bubble grow inside of him.

"I think the frog wins. I mean, the more the merrier, am I right? You can't get better than the Duplication Technique, if you know what I mean." He grinned from ear to ear, expecting everyone to get the reference.

"I don't know what you mean." Wugu said sweetly. "And that's not the Duplication Technique. She doesn't use that. She says it's cheap and risky at the same time."

Li gazed at the fish deadpanned. "She sounds like my teacher."

"If it's not the Duplication Technique than what is it?" Jiao'ao asked.

"I didn't know you knew about the Duplication Technique." Li turned to the peacock with an impressed smile.

"I tried it once." He replied without looking away from the fish.

"And failed?" The rabbit teased.

"You sound like my dad." The avian muttered, then before the bunny could continue he focused his attention on Wugu. "So this Technique is?"

"Don't tell them." Ba whispered furiously.

"Ba, you're no fun. I'll tell you, but you can't tell anyone else."

There was a flurry of assurances and Wugu beamed with simple joy. "Basically it's a technique you can get after completing a Doomed Ceremony. Mistress Duyao did it ages ago. It's called the Strength of a Hundred. It makes you really strong because it multiplies every cell inside of you a hundred-fold, so it's like there's a hundred hers packed inside her. This is what gives her her ridiculously high strength. She can also technically 'split' into more of hers, up to a hundred I guess, but the more Duyaos the more her strength is split."

"That's good to know." Jiao'ao nodded in gratitude.

"Thank you Wugu-sama!" Han Guan shot him a claws up.

"I really don't feel like fighting her!" Li I chuckled.

While Wugu replied to this, Saras spotted the elusive Babirasu and made his way over to him. Not making eye contact, the fox plopped down on the seat next to him.

"Hi Babi."

"Oh hello." He said with a lazy smile.

Saras dropped the pleasantries. "I know you have it."

"Have what?" He asked, with the same lazy smile and a hint of mischief in his eyes.

"You know what." Why was he being so bloody vague?

"I do?"

"Stop playing games with me."

"Alright no more Battai for you." He then burst out laughing and punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Honestly Shifty, I have no idea what you're talking about."

The fox's eye twitched in annoyance. "Stop it! Okay this is serious Babi! If you give it to the Mongols they'll kill hundreds, if not thousands of people-"

"And if you get 'whatever it is' how do I know you won't do the same?" His tone was more serious now, but he still seemed on the verge of laughter.

Saras blinked. "I won't. I wouldn't." He said immediately. "I'm not a killer Babi-"

"Really? What about your brother?"

"My brother?" Saras shook his head. "Listen I don't know what you think you know-" Aang was not a killer. He was sure of that...

"You're still not very good at this are you?" Babirasu interrupted his train of thoughts.

"At what? Word games? Leave that to the other foxes, we can't all be sly." Saras snapped back.

"At your job. I know loads more about you than you do about me. That puts me in a position of power over you. I'm already bigger, stronger and smarter. If you want _it_ , you've got some work to do."

"What kind of work." His eyes narrowed in suspicion. If it was a fight Babirasu wanted then it was a fight he would get.

"Don't narrow your eyes at me. I should be mad at you for lying about where it was in the first place." His eyes were ablaze with a kind of furious delight.

Saras growled in frustration.

"You'll figure out what I want eventually." Babirasu leaned backwards, signalling an end to their conversation. "For now I just want to watch this match."

Saras gritted his teeth and marched back to his seat. Curse Babirasu and his ridiculous riddles. He was probably bluffing. What _did_ he want anyways? He had no family. No great ambitions. No friends aside from maybe him, if they counted as friends. Did they even count as friends?

* * *

 _"You know this fight looks really brutal. It's a good thing we have a medical team on standby! These two really look like they're going for the kill! SQUAWK!"_

Badr smashed his fist into one of the Duyao's face, only for another Duyao to grab him by the tail and fling him into yet another Duyao, who brought her fist into the cat's face with deadly force, sending him flying into the barrier.

Badr got up and put his paws together. He closed his eyes and focused deeply. The Duyao's eyes narrowed in barely-concealed rage. Swirls of golden energy whirled around Badr's paws, and his eyes shone gold. He clicked his knuckles.

 _"And now things get even more magically-powered with Badr going into Golden Mode! Glow Go! Shiny Kitty! Whatever the hell that is any ways!"_

* * *

"I don't suppose you know what that technique is?" Jiao'ao asked, turning his attention to Wugu.

Ba glared, not liking the look of awe and reverance on the avian's face.

"I do!" Wugu giggled, doing little loop-the-loops in the water. "It's another technique you get from the Doomed Ceremony. In it's simplest form it just gives you a little boost of speed and stuff, but if really advanced you could regrow limbs...only I think they'd be all yellow and shiny."

* * *

Badr tore forwards, almost effortlessly dodging one of the Duyaos swings and replying with an uppercut that knocked that particular frog into the barrier. He skipped around another one, slamming his foot into the back of her knee and bringing her down to his approaching fist.

Two more Duyaos hit the sand on either side of him, the combined shockwave pulsed in opposite directions, scattering sand and knocking the black cat off his feet and face-first into the ground. The frogs hopped into the air and came crashing back down with another twin shockwave-punch. This time Badr anticipated the attack and sprang into the air to avoid it, before bringing his feet down onto the frog's heads. He landed safely, and performed a leg sweep, knocking both amphibians into the dirt. He stomped on their heads with great force.

 _"Considering how much it looks like these two are trying to kill each other I'm starting to think this match was a really bad idea..."_

Badr slammed his fist into another Duyaos ribs, grabbed the frog by the arm and tossed her into the ground. The real Duyao's glare was so strong it seemed it could melt straight through steel. She held her arms aloft, and the other frogs disappeared into wisps of green which fluttered around her webbed hands. She watched as slowly but surely, the green morphed into a ball that seemed to radiate it's own kind of power.

* * *

"Okay you know what I was just being stupid, these two can do so much more than any of us it's annoying!" Li I crossed his paws over his chest. "Like how am I meant to top that?! I bet my dad will hear about this tournament and never even consider that his son participated!" The rabbit's jealousy was almost tangible. It was slightly worrying to see him so angry. Then a moment later he went back to his normal, cheerful, self. "I mean he obviously knows I'm an all-powerful Kung Fu Master and all, and he's definitely going to come and see what's going on here. But it's not going to be for me... When he notices me he'll be all happy obviously and forget about this load of crap, but it just won't feel the same if he doesn't come because of me."

"Don't worry Li-sama, I'm sure your father will hear about you too! I mean, you beat up Wong-kun." Han Guan pointed out.

Li I grinned. "And I'm sure your mother will be impressed that you've never given up on trying to get her approval!"

The two high-fived.

Jiao'ao rolled his eyes. "So...Wugu, what is your Mistress doing now?"

Ignoring Ba's look of disgusted disapproval the fish proceeded to explain. "So you see how she's a multiplied person, in a sense she's putting all the other hers into that green ball."

Dianbo blinked. Master Flying Rhino had never taught him anything like this!

Lang 'harrumphed' and crossed his paws over his chest. He wasn't exactly a stranger to these types of fighters, even if they were somewhat rare.

"Right." Said Jiao'ao, mostly to be polite. He hadn't understood any of that.

* * *

 _"For the inattentive Duyao is now using her big green ball to beat Badr! SQUAWK!"_

Duyao, Badr and the entire arena paused to stare at the parrot.

 _"What? It's my job to crack jokes and you can't get any better than innuendo!"_

Basically everyone rolled their eyes at him, then their eyes focused back down on the match unfolding below.

* * *

Badr prepped himself for Duyao's attack. He had fought her before, he knew what she was capable of. And he had been expecting her to go all-out anyways.

Finally, after what seemed to be a month of waiting, she held the ball of pure, green chi in her webbed hand, and dug into her vest, extracting a small leaf. She dropped the plant into the mass of swirling green.

Badr's eyes narrowed. _This technique again..._

There was a huge explosion of blinding green light, and a moment later, everyone blinked back into reality. Or some kind of reality anyways. The arena, it's sands and all present remained the same. But the sky shone a clear white, as if covered by a blanket.

"Woah, can anyone else smell this? I am just loving it! Flowers! And and food! And gosh is that cinammon!" Li's mouth began watering. "I'm getting hungry just sniffing the air!"

Saras frowned. For some reason the only scents he caught were those of people. Aang and Daitui and Shan Qu, but that was ridiculous. They couldn't possibly be here.

"What are you talking about? I smell books, and papers, and sweat and Mei- and hard work!" Jiao'ao said, frowning at the bunny.

Han nodded vigorously. "I smell sushi and my mother and my mother's sushi."

Li I frowned. "I smell Mung for some reason. And Fidget. And Peng You. Aurora. And..." He clamped his paw against his nose. "Flower."

"Welcome to the Dreamworld!" Wugu said with a grin.

* * *

Badr frowned at his opponent. "The whole arena? So not like last time?"

"Everyone is going to watch you pay for your crimes." Duyao said coldly.

 _"Well I guess it's time for the fight to continue! But out of curiosity, does anyone else smell my mother?"_

Ignoring Chaonao, the cat and the frog charged at one another.

* * *

"The what?" The competitors were now all crowded around Wugu, except Ba, who tried to scare everyone away by glaring at them. Not that that worked once Lang gave him a glare of his own.

"The Dreamworld is a realm of wonders. It is where our unconscious minds travel to at bedtime. Here anything and everything is possible. You're all smelling something that is precious to you, because this world opens your mind. Sometimes you'll even think about things you don't know are precious to you and find that they are."

"But why take someone here in combat?" Ji Rou asked. She was, as usual, flanked by Hong Ze and Naan.

"Because you can do anything here!" Wugu said happily.

* * *

Badr swung at the frog, only for a massive boulder to come between them. A hole appeared under him, and a second later he was falling through a dark abyss, his distant yell became an echo. Then when his voice had almost faded away completely, it returned from above.

 _"Hey Badr how did you get up there?"_

Spikes tore out of the sand, and stretched out to meet the falling cat like the cruel claws of some beast.

Badr stopped screaming and concentrated. He wasn't as good at this as Duyao, but he had done it once, he could do it again. The spikes flattened into soft mattresses of silk, granting Badr a soft landing. Immediately afterwards, however, they morphed into a thousand mosquitoes, which swarmed around the feline and dived all at once.

 _"You know I think we should stop this now...accidents can happen you know! SQUAWK!"_

Duyao watched as the bugs swarmed around the cat, there would be no accidents on her part...

Then from out of the swarm, Badr burst forwards, his fists glowing golden. He punched Duyao right across the face, knocking her back into the arena walls. They morphed into elastic bands, and launched her back at him with twice the power, sending him flying into a barrier that was made into the toughest steel.

Chaonao and the competitors winced upon impact, knowing full well that that had hurt a lot.

Miraculously, Badr got to his feet again. He spat a gob of blood onto the sand and held his arms into the air. "I withdraw! Your winner, is Duyao, who should have won the first time!" _There, that should satisfy the bitch._

There was a short pause, then the crowd cheered wildly. Wugu cheered with them, but Ba wore a scowl as ugly as his Mistress'.

 _"Well folks, Badr Tamod has just surrendered the match. If you bet on Duyao you've invested in a good cause!"_

"I don't accept your surrender." Duyao snapped. He would not cheat her of this. He would not snatch justice away from her when she could almost taste it. "The fight continues."

 _"I don't think you have the authority-"_

Badr sighed deeply. "I thought you might say something like that."

The Deathworm shot out of the sand behind her and dived forwards to where the frog had been a moment ago. Duyao nimbly dodged the massive beast, but Badr would not let her go so easy, and went straight after her, landing a punch to the side of her face, he followed up with a strong kick that caught her in the stomach. Duyao grabbed Badr by the throat and squeezed hard.

 _"Okay really that's enough! You both win! Be happy! SQUAWK!"_

Neither of them cared to listen. Badr's paws were squeezing back, each denying the other precious air.

 _"Seriously stop it!"_

It was all about endurance at that point, for neither was willing to let go.

 _"Can someone please break this up before two of our judges kill each other?"_

But everyone was too transfixed by the scene to do anything.

Duyao threw in a headbutt, and Badr slumped to the sand. The frog stood her ground, panting heavily. She fell to her knees, ready to bring her fists down for the final blow, when the world spun, rather literally.

 _No! No I was so close!_ But she did not have the energy to deny the inevitable, and so Duyao too, fell.

* * *

 _Footnote: This chapter really started the 'magic battles' for me at least, seeing as it was the first in the Stories of Saras. I did this the first time mostly because of Danzaburo vs Po in ToL, but now it probably stands out better because by now most of my readers will have read (or wrote) a lot of similar fights. A lot of little character moments here, and also a good deal on Badr and Duyao. Notice that I haven't gotten into either of their heads, that is because I don't want to spoil (the already kinda spoiled) ending of Back in The Day The Tournament.  
_

 _I will be doing a lot more on the Dreamworld, though not in any of my current fics. Update soon!  
_


	23. A Duel's Consequence

One moment they had all been staring at Duyao and listening to Chaonao in the strange world of white, the next Saras felt like a rope had been tied around his stomach, and some cruel giant tugged him through his chair and into darkness. He was falling. Falling. Falling. Falling until he started to think when, if ever, would he hit something.

Then his eyes shot open and he found himself back in the daytime, his head leaning on Kunjingle's stomach.

"Woah!" Said Li I, yawning widely. "I haven't been on a trip like that since...ever."

"That was weird." Han agreed, looking slightly green. "Does anybody else have a tummy-ache?"

Saras sat up and blinked back into reality.

 _"That folks is why you don't do drugs! And geez I hope I don't get fired for sleeping on the job!"_

Ba looked so infuriated Saras was genuinely surprised he didn't just burst into flames. "He cheated." The spider declared, in a voice that brockered no argument.

Li I either couldn't tell when to keep his mouth shut, or liked annoying people. Saras believed the former.

"So what?"

The spider turned his look of hatred back to the rabbit. "Cheaters and criminals deserve only death."

Li I met the glare with arms crossed and a tapping foot. "You know having a purely black and white worldview is retarded, right? Sometimes criminals don't have a choice. The law itself isn't perfect either. For example-"

"Badr Tamod is a monster and deserves death. What he did to my Mistress is unforgivable."

"And what exactly did he do to her?" Li's eyes were wide with curiosity, clearly he saw no threat in Ba.

"Don't you dare mock her!" Li I turned to the others and gave them all a look of complete misunderstanding.

"What did I do?"

Ba was growling dangerously.

"I don't know what your problem is man, but I did not insult your Mistress. I'm just interested in why you think he should die."

"Well you don't need to know."

"But I want to-"

Ba went for his swords, Kunjingle pulled Li I out of range and Wugu weakly muttered Ba's name. The spider stopped, breathing heavily. Then replaced his swords.

"What is your problem?!" Li I exclaimed, now dangling in the air.

Ba turned and walked away without a word.

"Sorry." Wugu apologized as the spider began pushing his cart away. "It's complicated."

" _Seriously_ , what is his problem." Li I asked as Kunjingle set him back down on the chair.

"I think it's best if we didn't know." Saras said.

Han Guan frowned. "You're not scared of him are you, Shifty-san? I mean sure he's got all those eyes and arms...but for the honor of my clan I will kick his butt all the way to Tengoku!" He said this far, far too loudly. "If I have to." He added afterwards.

 _"That's the spirit Han! Butt-kicking is what people wanna see, am I right or am I right? SQUAWK!"_

"No offense Han, but I sincerely hope you don't have to fight Ba." Jiao'ao said tactfully.

Saras stayed close to the others on the way back, careful to not let himself get locked in the same carriage as evil and innocent personified. As he settled down for what was to be an intense game of Battai he decided to do his best to avoid anything to do with the Tamods. The last thing he needed right now was to get neck-deep in a fight he had nothing to do with.

* * *

Duyao's fist sent the dummy flying into the wall. She had failed! She had been so close, closer than last time, and yet she still hadn't been strong enough to put down one stupid cat! She slammed her foot down on the dummy, grabbed it by the collar and hurled it into another wall. There had been noone to save him this time. She could have done it. She had been inches away from doing it...

"Mistress." Came Wugu's soft voice.

She took a deep breath. It would not do to loose her temper on the fish. "Yes Wugu, what is it?"

"You did very well today."

 _Not well enough..._ "Thank you Wugu."

"But..."

"What is it?"

"I think we should stop. We can get Badr another time, all three of us, together. This tournament doesn't feel right. And anyways...I think he moved on."

"What makes you say that?" Duyao said with a patience she felt nowhere in her body. Wugu had always needed patience.

"He has a daughter. He loves her very much." Surely his Mistress would understand. Family was important.

"I bear her no ill will." Duyao spoke with a finality in her voice. "But Badr must die. And I must be the one to do it."

Wugu nodded and turned away, hiding his look of sadness.

* * *

 _"Why can't I fight like Ba?"_

 _The frog gave the fish a wide smile. "You lack the arms."_

 _"But I can try! I mean I can move without being carried now! But everyone said I couldn't before."_

 _"Wugu, everyone that is not you, me or Ba is an idiot." The frog turned serious a moment later. "But if you insist, I could give you something of your own."_

 _"Yes, please do! Please do!"_

 _Duyao smiled. "Okay. I'll get back to you when it's done."_

 _"Thank you Mistress!"_

* * *

That had been Duyao since he had known Duyao. Sure she had occasionally been more serious, and to Ba she had rigidly explained the necessities of justice. But overall she had been sweet, and kind. And nowhere near as scary as she had become the night Badr's invitation had arrived.

* * *

 _He remembered it clearly. She had stood there, holding the letter. Her eyes did not move. They just stared blankly at the letter, as if they did not know who had sent it. She had remained in that position for a while, before she had exploded with a cry of rage and hurled the scroll into a nearby wall._

 _"Mistress?" Wugu asked tenatively._

 _For a moment her face softened as she caught sight of him. Then with another cry of rage she snatched the scroll from the floor and began tearing it apart, growling the whole time like a feral dog.  
_

* * *

Wugu shook his head clear of those memories. Duyao knew what she was doing. When this was all over they would return home. They would go back to normal.

Ba hopped down from the ceiling when Wugu was well out of earshot. He bowed low. "Mistress."

"Do not congratulate me. I already know painfully well how close I got."

Ba frowned. "It was unfortunate. Bad luck."

"Yes black cats give bad luck out like a plague."

"But I did not come her to pester you Mistress. I have news."

He leaned forwards and whispered.

Duyao frowned. So she had been right. She had recognized the necklace after all... "Get me a quill and parchment. This is something we can't do ourselves Ba. But I know just the person who will." _For the right price..._

* * *

 _Footnote: This fic has some formatting issues XD Like one chapter is a 3k word juggernaut, the next is 1k. I could split it into 2k each but then the formatting would be even more bothersome. I attribute this to the 'episodic' nature of these chapters. One has all the chunk, the next has it's side effects. Though now we are finally getting into the main arc you can expect more of a normal format. It should be no surprise who Duyao has in mind... though it has also been two years...  
_


	24. A Day of Relaxation

A few days had passed since Badr and Duyao's epic duel and nothing of interest had come to pass in that time. Except...

"You are working full time or you are gonna get that pretty little tail of yours whipped all the way back to the cave you come from!"

Saras was momentarily surprised that Safi knew he came from a Cave, but realized a second later that it was a figure of speech.

"And what exactly does working full time mean?" He asked resignedly. They were having this whispered conversation right outside Badr Tamod's door, and although the cat had lost his match, he had also demonstrated that he wasn't someone Saras could confidently contend with. And that was without even considering his giant pet worm.

"It means you shut up, show up and keep up from sunrise till sundown. Now obviously you get days off for when you have to compete and other tournament stuff-but that's only because we don't want my dad finding out about this. The rest of the time you will be working your ass off, you hear me?"

Saras tuned her out at that point. Working for Safi was something he could live with. He was just as content to walk as far away from her as she wanted to be from him-in public anyways, and that meant noone could say he had a thing for her or was working for Badr Tamod. Which meant he would not get an attack of the teases nor an actual physical attack from Ba. Win-win. And either way it seemed Babirasu was not going anywhere, which meant he lost nothing except time he would otherwise have spent playing Battai.

He was glad that Safi's place was unpopular. There was the occasional oddball who came to see what this place had to offer, but the only regular customers were Safi's dance crew, all of whom were just as happy to stay out of his way as he was to stay out of theirs. Someone was staying in one of the rooms upstairs, but Safi had told him to leave them alone. To his surprise Dianbo was also a regular customer.

"Hi." Saras sat down next to the jackal. He had been working all morning, and the boredom that was creeping in threatened to consume his mind. "Did Safi force you to come along too?"

The jackal's eyes narrowed. "Do I know you?"

"Saras."

The jackal still looked confused.

"Shapeshifter."

The jackal shook his head.

"We are roommates." Saras said deadpanned.

"Oh. Hello then."

"You still don't know who I am do you?"

"You don't stand out very much."

Saras shrugged. As the only shapeshifter in the tournament he was surprised he hadn't caught the jackal's attention. Then again it was probably a good thing he _didn't_ attract attention.

"What do you mean force me to come here?"

"That's what she did to me."

The jackal's eye twitched. _Was that jealousy?_

"Why?"

 _Yup, definitely jealousy! And there he is with the twitch again!_ Saras shrugged it off. "Free labour." The eye twitch was getting slightly unnerving.

"Ah."

They descended into silence. And boredom threatened to return tenfold.

"So why are you here?"

Dianbo shrugged. "Thought I'd explore town."

"Er-right." _How is that eye doing that?_

"My eye is twitching?" The jackal asked with a frown.

"Yeah. It's just a bit creepy."

"You sound like my Master. He once said that I shouldn't worry about punching, just look them right in the eye and watch them piss themselves." Then Dianbo went silent.

"Who was your master?" Saras asked, slightly curious.

"Master Flying Rhino."

"Oh." Saras was educated enough to know that Master Flying Rhino had sadly passed away about a month and a half ago. He knew this because Shan Qu had been bawling like a baby the entire time.

"You heard?"

"Everyone did." Master Flying Rhino was nothing short of a legend in Kung Fu, the number of battles he had single-handedly changed the tide of were beyond counting. It was said he had earned his title for jumping from the Imperial City to the Tower of Sacred Flame in one massive leap. That was most likely an exaggeration but it said a lot about his reputation. Saras did not add that Aang had celebrated the Great Master's death, and truth be told Saras did too. Kung Fu Masters were...troublesome.

"Yes, well, life is a lot more complicated now." Silence fell once more.

"So...you're going to win this tournament and make your recently-deceased Master proud?" _Literally everyone had a better reason to be here than me_.

"Yes. It's mostly just to get my feet back on the ground. I mean my mother passed a few years ago...I have a father in India I've never met, and I know the Tamods, so I thought I'd just come here, you know, someplace I'm familiar with."

"How do you know the Tamods?"

"First mission. I had to save Safi Tamod from some bandits. I succeeded and have been in their good graces ever since."

"I didn't even know Safi had good graces." Saras mumbled.

"She doesn't. But I don't know...I just feel something strange around her. Like I know her."

Most likely because everyone he _did_ know sounded like they were dead. But Saras kept that thought to himself. "So...tournament? What do you think your chances are?"

Dianbo shrugged. "I could take anyone easily except the bear, the dog, the red panda and the tiger. I like my chances though. What do you think they're going to make us do next? More duels?"

"Nah, Chaonao wouldn't like that."

Dianbo scowled. "That parrot is so annoying."

"I like him. When he's picking on someone else."

"What do you think you're doing! You're not meant to be sitting down!" Safi came storming up from behind the stage, surrounded by her gang. They probably thought they looked very ferocious with their matching glares, but Lang was scarier in a good mood. "Go scrub the plates or something."

"I already scrubbed them." Saras replied, deadpanned.

"Then do literally anything else!"

"I've already done everything else." Then because he couldn't resist getting some of his own, sweet revenge. "It's not like you have customers anyways."

Safi's eye twitched. "Just you wait! On the day of my performance this place is going to be filled up, you hear me! Full! So many people! In fact, you can be there! You won't even need to do anything! Just watch me have my moment!" Saras smirked. He had gotten her riled up in less than a dozen syllables. "Just go do something!"

The fox got up and walked off. He turned back to glance at Dianbo, who was staring at Safi with wide, lovesick eyes. Saras shook his head. Poor Dianbo. The lovesick fool could only expect a painful rejection. Saras frowned. The only thing he felt around Safi was a headache.

The fox sat down on the counter. As he began whistling to himself he noted that someone was staring at him. He looked up to find a figure shrouded in a plain traveling cloak staring down at him. Then felt a chill run down his spine as the figure motioned for him to follow.

* * *

"I'd like a dumpling. Large. Don't make size jokes." Lang placed his order before the duck, who nodded silently and went about busying himself with the preparations. He probably wouldn't have made any size jokes anyways.

"Here you go! King-sized dumpling for the King-sized competito-" Lang grabbed the duck by the neck and pulled him down to eye level.

"I dare you to finish that sentence." He growled.

The duck gave a nervous squeak, and passed him the dumpling. Lang payed him _exactly_ three yuan. As he walked away he heard the duck mutter 'cheapskate'. The red panda promptly turned and hurled the King-sized dumpling at it's King-sized target.

Lang then walked out of the restaurant, his stomach growling. He hadn't liked the smell of the food there anyways, he'd find another restaurant...

* * *

The hooded figure gestured for Saras to enter the room, the fox frowned and did so. He passed another hooded figure on their way out, and found himself alone with a third hooded figure.

Safi's rooms were plain, undecorated and consisted only of a single stool, a bed and a table. The blinds were down and the only illumination was a single candle standing on the table. But that was not what interested him the most.

The figure removed their hood, revealing a lynx. She had brown fur, with a lighter beige on her face and the typical tufts of fur on her ears that was the norm of her species. She wore a plain black traveling cloak that covered one arm. Underneath there seemed to be a simple cotton hauberk. Additionally she wore plain finger-less gloves. She looked down at him.

For some reason he was getting slightly nervous. What was all this about? The blinds? The other two hooded figures? He hadn't done anything, had he? "Um...you are?"

She bowed. "Cin Lin. At your service."

"...And er...what are you doing here?"

She smirked. "You have no idea, do you?"

"No, not really." He didn't know how he had hopped out of the way in time, but he was glad he had, for Cin Lin had struck and her dagger missed by just an inch.

* * *

 _Footnote: I think Berserker88 got this right, but your...very vague review leaves a lot to be answered. But I think you knew anyways. Now I don't know how much of Cin Lin there will be this time around. I mean she does kind of have her own mini-arc but there's really no saying how long that'll be. To be honest I felt she was a bit underused the previous time (we didn't even get to see her Lonesome Gift, for example) now she was nowhere near as underused as Safi, but that's not saying much XD  
_

 _Now I admit Dianbo's feelings for Safi were...really complicated. When I was planning this fic, way way way way way back they started out as a couple, then Safi became the daughter of the host, but the romance was still there. Then Safi became a bitch, but Dianbo still had sort of feelings for her (to be honest I don't know how kajjynegna you remember that, I think there was like one throw-away line about them together in the last fic XD) and now that Safi has gone further up the bitch ladder (yes, there is a ladder) Dianbo's romance was a bit out of character, but I think it was also a factor that was mentioned in Village Champion a couple of times, and so ta-da! I also think I explained why Dianbo does have 'feelings' for her better than...the mess that was the previous version of this.  
_


	25. Cin Lin

Saras teleported away from the lynx's subsequent slash. He slammed his weight against the door and discovered to his horror that it was locked. He rolled out of the way of another slash, and received a knee to the chin that shot his head up. He teleported away from her dagger as it came around to greet him, and found that the blinds were made of oak, and prevented him from escaping through the window. Cin Lin was upon him once more, this time he morphed into a hummingbird and flew into her face. Cin Lin stumbled backwards, her other paw shot up and grabbed him, pinning him within her paw. Saras next became a hedgehog, and forced the feline to release him, though she did so by flinging him at the wall, and flinging her dagger after him. Luckily, he managed to avoid the blade and land on the bed.

* * *

Lang glared at the inn from outside. This place looked even worse than the last one! But returning to the King-sized restaurant to receive King-sized puns that would hurt his pride, and end up hurting those who spoke them even more... he wasn't really in the mood for it. His stomach growling, Lang continued forwards.

* * *

Cin Lin brought her foot down on his chest, knocking the wind out of him, and bringing Safi's incredibly cheap bed to the floor in a shower of splinters. Saras twisted away from her following stomp, and tried to sweep her legs out from under her, only for the lynx to hop over his attacks and deliver a sudden kick to the face. Rubbing his nose Saras ducked as the lynx lashed out with her claws, and dived out of the way of an uppercut.

"You're a bit more trouble than I expected." Cin Lin admitted, freeing her dagger from the wall. "But I don't come cheap for a reason." She twirled the dagger around her paw expertly, and a moment later dashed forwards.

* * *

This place royally sucked. Aside from it's emptiness in the customer department (which Lang quite liked) there wasn't even a waiter! He would give them a total of two minutes before he started complaining. Lang sat down on a stool, his arms crossed over his chest, and waited patiently.

* * *

Saras teleported away from her first slash, but this time she was ready, and landed a strong roundhouse kick to his stomach, which she followed up with a jab of her dagger. Saras rolled backwards and held the blade an inch from his face with his Talon Claws. His metalic clawed-feet clamped surely over the weapon. From where it was situated he could quite clearly see a deadly gleam on it's surface. That most likely meant it was poisoned. Or that she polished it a lot, but Saras thought poison seemed more like her.

* * *

 _"Where. Is. The. God. Damn. Waiter?_ Is it so hard to see that someone's hungry?!" Lang bellowed at noone in particular.

Dianbo pointed upwards. "He went upstairs."

Lang cracked his knuckles. "Did he now?" He said, growling, as he made his way to the stairs. He would make sure the waiter knew quite well what his review of the place was.

* * *

After what seemed like eternity Saras' strength was beginning to diminish. He was in a very bad position right now, and could see no immediate solution to his predicament. He just had to hold the blade away from his face...until... Noone knew he was here, which meant rescue was unlikely. Dianbo would have to deal with the two outside before he could get to him... Despair began to set in.

* * *

Lang paused upon reaching the second floor landing. He felt his anger increase tenfold. Those were no ordinary cloaks. He had seen enough of the Order of the Owl to tell the difference. He marched forwards. And where there were two, there was a third. He kept marching forwards, then as soon as he got within reach he struck. The first one fell to a powerful swing that caught him on the side of the head, the other had enough time to widen his eyes before he was kicked in the chest and knocked right through the door.

Lang landed on the hapless figure, then his eyes widened dramatically.

Momentarily, Cin Lin relieved the pressure on the dagger, her eyes were also widened in surprise, allowing Saras to kick it out of her grip. Lang then tore forwards and swung at her, but the assassin dodged the blow expertly. She flipped over and attempted a sweep, but Lang caught her foot before it could knock his off balance. He lifted the limb and swung her into the wall, before following up with a chop which the lynx only just managed to avoid, but cut the stool in half.

"What is going on?" Dianbo called from downstairs, the jackal making his way towards the stairs. Most likely he heard the door being crashed through. Or the stool getting destroyed.

Cin Lin frowned. Extended fights weren't her strong point, let alone a three on one with Lang. "We will meet again." She promised, then hurled a smoke bomb, which filled the room with darkness.

When the smoke cleared a few minutes later, Cin Lin and both members of her Order were gone. Dianbo was standing at the doorway, looking from the broken door to the broken bed, to the broken stool, to Lang and Saras. Saras was glad to be alive and getting up and Lang... well he always looked angry.

Suddenly the red panda turned towards the fox, and lifted him off the floor and into the wall.

"How do you know Cin Lin?" He growled, his eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"I-I-I-I don't! I mean she just tried to kill me but it's not like I k-know her."

Lang didn't seem to want to let go. "And why does she want to kill you?"

"I d-d-don't know." In all honesty this interrogation was more frightening than the assassination attempt.

The red panda growled, but let go anyways. "What is she doing here?" He asked, more to himself than the other two in the room.

"Did I miss something?" Dianbo asked in his thick Indian accent. The jackal looked incredibly confused by what had just happened.

"Nothing important." Saras replied, walking over to the dagger Cin Lin had not managed to pick up. He lifted it in his paw. It was surprisingly light considering it's size. The blade was as sharp as they came, and Saras moved his other paw to it's edge to test it's sharpness. Before he could cut himself Lang grabbed his paw by the wrist and twisted it behind his back.

"Do not touch that! Any idiot can tell it's poisoned, and the types Cin Lin uses _won't_ leave you looking like a daisy! Now, drop the dagger."

Saras did as he was told, and Lang let go, leaving the fox to rub his arm.

"Who is Cin Lin?" Dianbo asked, looking from one to the other with clear lack of understanding.

Saras shrugged, but Lang only glared at him.

"Do you know her?" Saras asked, noticing the motion. Lang grabbed him by the collar and pulled him down so that their eyes were staring right into each others.

"We have...history. And what's it to you?"

Saras gulped. "Nothing."

Lang shoved him roughly away. "Cin Lin probably knows about him..." The panda began pacing. Saras would have asked who 'him' was referring to, but decided he had enough close encounters with death for one day.

"Explain." Dianbo demanded, the jackal's paws crossed over his chest, his eyes twitching in that odd way they always did.

"So-er someone hired her to kill me..." Saras explained lamely.

"Who would want you dead?"

The fox paused for thought. The Kucha didn't work that way and anyways they had let him leave the island. The Silver Fang? It wasn't out of the question, but four years too late. Yang Chao...that had also been a long time ago, and anyways the hare would have done it himself. The Wus? Probably would have done it themselves... and that was also a long time ago. Han Guan? That was stupid...but he had ruined the wolverine. Babirasu... Safi... Ba? Of all of them Safi seemed like the only one with the wealth and a reason to hire an assassin. If Han Guan wanted him dead he wouldn't have gone with that whole fiasco with the fake fighting. Ba and Babirasu could and likely would both try and kill him personally if they wanted to. But Babirasu had saved his life. Once. A long time ago...

"Well?" Lang snapped impatiently. Whoever hired Cin Lin would need to contact her from time to time, and if he could get to Cin Lin he might find out where he was.

"I don't know."

"There can't be that many." Dianbo said with a scowl.

 _You have no idea..._ "Well... I, don't know."

"You are going to die." Dianbo said matter-of-factedly.

"Thanks for the support." Saras shot back.

"Someone wealthy... Cin Lin doesn't come cheap." Lang muttered to himself as he continued pacing.

"Can I-er...get some information on C-Cin-m-my killer please?" Saras gulped audibly.

Lang glared at him. "Can't you see I'm trying to figure out who wants to kill you?"

Saras nodded rapidly. Ba had said Badr deserved to die, and Duyao had been trying to kill Badr in their match...but why would they want to kill him? Wugu knew he had nothing to do with the Tamods, but Ba hadn't been convinced.

"Who have you been annoying lately?" Lang asked. "Maybe by looking through their stuff?" He offered.

Saras felt sweat mounting on his brow. "You should join the Imperial Army as an interrogator, you know that right?"

Once again Lang grabbed him by the collar and pulled him down. "Say one more stupid thing and _I_ will be the one trying to kill you."

Saras nodded vigorously, until Lang let him go. The fox tugged at his collar. Really, where did these kinds of people come from?

Lang's face then lit up and a moment later he was grinning from ear to ear. Somehow this only made him look more frightening. So much so that Saras started backing away from him.

"Perfect. Cin Lin wants you, and I want Cin Lin. You'll be the bait!"

"W-what!? N-no! Nononononono! No way! You can't just use me as bait to fish out an assassin." The panda was still grinning. Saras whimpered. "What about _my_ life?"

Lang frowned. "Your life won't be on the line, because _I_ need to get some info from Cin Lin. _You_ won't be let out of my sight until I do!"

"That could actually work." Dianbo said. "If we stay out of sight but make sure we know where you are, then there's the chance she'll strike again. Then we can come and find out what she wants with you. And more importantly, who wants to kill you."

Saras' eye twitched in annoyance. This was ridiculous! "I'm not bait! Okay? I was almost killed once today. I am not going to go around town waiting for her to put a knife in my back."


	26. The Bait

Despite his refusal to do so, Saras found himself walking around town waiting for Cin Lin to try and put a knife in his back. Lang just seemed to have a way to get what he wanted. The red panda was somewhere nearby, watching his movements carefully. Dianbo was also in the area, but both those facts gave him little comfort, since there was no guarantee they would get to him in time. That and her blades were poisoned, which meant that a tiny cut could prove fatal if he wasn't careful... Why was life so difficult?

* * *

Cin Lin watched the fox travel down the street, apparently alone. But she wasn't buying it. Lang was there somewhere. She knew he was no fool, and doubted he would just hand back her target after rescuing him a moment earlier. Unless it was meant to lure her in. She frowned. She just needed the fox on his own for a little while, and then he was dead meat. She had come really close the first time, but giving up wasn't in her nature...unless it suited her.

She hopped down from the roof and spotted a gaggle of school children babbling happily about some tournament. She smirked as an idea began forming in her mind.

* * *

Saras stopped in front of an apple vendor. Lang had told him to act natural, but a bit shaken up. He had no idea how natural he looked, but he was definitely more than a little shaken up. "Give me an apple please." He asked the vendor, a pig currently hidden behind his humongous pyramid of juicy red apples.

The pig picked up a large, fat red one and offered it to him. "Ten yuan."

Saras let out a deep sigh and walked away from the stand. What did fate hate him so much for? Who the hell payed ten yuan for an apple?

The pig vendor blinked, and shrugged. That kid was on drugs.

* * *

"Now go pull his tail!" Cin Lin ordered. The children giggled happily and scattered. The lynx allowed herself a smirk, then turned to her aids. "Hoods off, we're not going to attract attention. Lang wants to play sneaky, well I can be sneaky too."

One member raised an arm.

"Yes?" Her instructions had been pretty clear, as far as she was concerned. She hadn't even asked if there were any questions!

"But can't someone steal our cloaks?"

"Do you want to know what my targets feel like?" Cin Lin asked back. She really didn't need her time wasted with nonsense like this.

"Er-"

"Exactly. Now chop-chop." She snapped her fingers, before throwing her hood up over her face.

* * *

Lang stopped at the same vendor after Saras had walked a safe distance away. "Apple." He said simply.

The pig offered him the same apple. "Ten yuan."

"What do I look like to you, a bank?! You'll get one yuan, and that's it!"

"No apple then." The pig shrugged.

"Yeah, no apples." Lang agreed, knocking down his ridiculous pyramid with a powerful swipe of his paw.

"You scoundrel!"

Lang then knocked the whole stand over.

"I... I will sue you!"

"Good luck with that." Lang snorted, before turning back around. He suddenly felt something pull sharply at his tail, and whirled around to see a bunny holding onto it. He pulled it free and glared down at the child.

"Touch my tail and I'll eat you." He snarled, making sure to show off his sharp teeth as he said so.

Instead of scaring away the annoying bunny he was promptly pounced on from behind by an entire gang of them, who tugged mercilessly at his tail and ears, giggling the whole while like the band of savages that they were.

"Get off of me!" He yelled, scattering the children every-which-way. Then his eyes narrowed and a growl followed. Saras was nowhere in sight.

* * *

"What even is sushi?" Li I asked as he, Jiao'ao and Kunjingle followed Han Guan. The wolverine had promised to find them a place that sold the Japanese delicacy.

Inwardly Jiao'ao facepalmed. He knew from some experience that one should never ask a Japanese person about sushi. They seemed to think it was the best thing in the world.

Han Guan and his country-men, were like-minded. "Sushi is the most wonderful thing in this world, Li-sama. Culinarily it's rice stuffed in leaves and boiled or fried, before being bathed in soy sauce and served hot or cold." The wolverine was practically drooling as he said this. "But it's not just a food."

 _Here we go_...thought Jiao'ao.

"Sushi is for many a way of life. Japan, China we both have noodles, and dumplings and bean buns and rice and tofu and soy sauce, but sushi...sushi is our thing! It is one of our many victories over your country, for noone in China can cook or sell sushi-"

Li I interrupted. "So what are we going to buy if noone in China can do it? I'm not going all the way to Japan!"

"Oh here, you'll just get stuff that tastes like what I made as a kid."

"Is that a good or bad thing?" Li I asked Jiao'ao in a whisper.

"No idea. But we are talking about Han..." The peacock whispered back.

"Huh? Did someone say my name?" The wolverine asked.

"No."

"Nope."

Whistle.

* * *

Saras continued walking slowly and calmly down the road. This part of town was far less crowded, populated only by a single sushi restaurant. There were no people...no witnesses. The fox decided to turn back around, not feeling at all comfortable when so evidently alone and unprotected. Unfortunately, when he turned he found himself facing a figure garbed in a familiar cloak. He gulped audibly and backed away. So Lang had been right, Cin Lin wouldn't give up so easily... he hoped Lang was also right in being able to get to him in time, because Cin Lin was drawing another dagger.

* * *

Dianbo hadn't lost sight of Saras until a bottle of rice wine missed his head by an inch. What appeared to be a very drunk gorilla was stumbling towards him, fists bared. Dianbo removed his whip. He would deal with the ape quickly, Lang could handle watching the fox for a while.

"I don't want to hurt you." He spoke calmly but firmly. Combat was not the best way to deal with civilians, let alone incapacitated ones. And Master Flying Rhino had always told him to use it as a last resort.

He didn't need to fight the ape, nor did the ape do any actual fighting. Instead it merely collapsed on top of him, it's arms and heavy weight pinning him against the ground, before letting out a loud snore.

Dianbo scowled and cursed his luck. The ape's grip was firm and strong, and pulling himself free would not be easy. But persistence was a virtue.

* * *

Lang dashed through the busy streets, looking for any trace of his bait. No way was he going to miss out on an opportunity like this! He had everything necessary to get to Cin Lin and by extent _him_ and that all relied upon him finding his bait. Those damned kids! Why did he have to look so darn fluffy anyways!?

He took a running turn and found an apparently blind musician facing him, erhu in paw, wearing a ridiculous necklace that seemed to have the shape of a Lizard Skull.

 _"Good sir! Do give me money!_  
 _So I may buy something sweet as honey!_  
 _Have mercy good sir!_  
 _If you feed me I will purr!"_

"You purring is the least of my concern!" Lang snapped, already checking down another pathway.

 _"Feed me or I shall starve!_  
 _And from my bones my flesh will be carved._  
 _I am an animal toooooooooooooooooooo!"_

Lang grabbed the erhu and snapped it over his knee, before whacking the musician's face with both sides simultaneously. He then dropped the broken pieces of the violin and went back to searching.

The lizard-skull necklace shook itself and slithered off of the cat's neck. He had picked that host for the erhu, but since that was out of the question he had better find someone more willing to do something for him...

* * *

Dianbo had, after extreme difficulty, managed to free himself from the gorilla's grip when Safi and her gang came running up to him. He felt the familiar but still strange feeling of his heart melting. It rehardened when he noticed she looked incredibly unhappy.

"Hey mister, have you seen that ugly toe-rag excuse for a waiter?"

Dianbo's eyes twitched in annoyance this time. Naturally it had been nothing about him. "I haven't." He said.

"Useless, I thought so." Safi muttered, then gave a loud fake cough and a fake smile reminiscent of her father. "Well if you do, tell him I'm looking for him. And make sure he knows that I will beat the living daylights out of him." She snapped her fingers and walked off, her entourage did the same motion. Dianbo sighed. Love was a strange thing indeed, why on earth did he feel so strange around...her of all people?

The gorilla noticed the sigh and stood up. "Girls, am I right?"

Dianbo's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Yeah, I guess you are."

Almost as if remembering that he was pretending to be drunk, the ape suddenly spouted a lot of gibberish.

Dianbo jumped into the air and delivered a powerful roundhouse kick to the side of the ape's head. He followed up with another kick that snapped the ape's neck backwards. He fell to the ground, groaning in dazed pain.

At that moment several assorted animals, approached, clicking knuckles and glaring furiously at him.

"But she told us to get the red panda." One member of the Order whispered to another.

"You try find the panda." The other shot back. "Anyways this guy looks scrawnier."

Dianbo did a quick head count. Six in total, not a large force, several sporting small bruises. Nothing he couldn't handle... hopefully.

* * *

Avoiding Cin Lin now was easier than it had been in the inn. She no longer had the element of surprise, and the more open space gave Saras more options. That and he had been worrying about another attack for quite a bit now. He wouldn't go as far as to say he was winning the fight...but that didn't stop him feeling a bit good about himself. Cin Lin was a professional assassin. She had in all likelihood been trained since birth, yet here he was effortlessly dodging her countless attacks. Him! Someone who's greatest accomplishments included escaping a three on one against the Wu sisters! _Assassins must be really overrated these days..._

At that moment she nailed him in the side of the face with a strong roundhouse kick, followed up with a leg sweep, punched him in the gut and brought the dagger down for the final, fatal blow. Saras had just enough time to think he really shouldn't have pushed his luck, before Cin Lin ended up flying over him, her dagger just missing the top of his head. Then he breathd an enormous sigh of relief.

Lang stood there, his spear clenched so tightly in his paws that the whiteness of his knuckles was visible through his fur. The lynx managed to land in a roll, and whirled around to face Lang. Her eyes narrowed. "You're really going to waste your time with this runt? Reminds you of the last two, does he?"

Lang growled louder, his teeth bared.

"Oh well, no matter. If I have to get through you to get to him, then so be it." She entered a low crouch, her dagger held in reverse, it's poisoned blade glinting in the sunlight.

Saras sidled over to Lang. "So er-what's the plan?"

Lang didn't even look at him. "You stay out of this." He snarled, and entered his own stance. "You were just the bait anyways."

Saras crossed his paws over his chest and pouted. Really? His _sole_ purpose had been to be the bait? That was cruel, even for Lang.

Then the two fighters charged forwards.

* * *

 _Footnote: You know originally the previous chapter was going to be the sole use of Cin Lin until after the Third Task, but that didn't really seem fair considering that meant she would get even less screen-time than before. Still I doubt anyone's complaining, and this is also a good opportunity to delve into Lang's backstory...you know instead of copy-and-pasting it from his bio like last time. We also get to see a bit of what the Singh Box is up to.  
_

 _Now the apple vendor Saras and Lang both encounter is just a regular vendor. The gorilla Dianbo is fighting is a rather incompetent member of the Order of the Owl...you know considering they're all meant to be elite assassins I think I'm going to come up with an excuse as to why Cin Lin's goons...aren't you know...assassin-ey. The kids was just Cin Lin taking advantage of circumstance. Right, that's all that has to be said._

 _Update soon._


	27. A Pair of Duels

Lang jabbed his spear forwards, the lynx skipped to the side to avoid it, and parried it's subsequent swing with her dagger. She hopped over a third swing, but was knocked off balance due to the bag of rocks slamming into the side of her foot. She landed on all fours, and rolled out of the way of the red panda's attack, which was a full slam of the entire length of the spear. Taking the offensive, Cin Lin aimed a slash for his face, but the red panda stepped away from the attack just in time. He blocked her next swing with the shaft of his spear, and stomped hard on her feet, before knocking her away with a strong palm-strike to the gut.

Cin Lin landed crouching. She withdrew a smoke bomb and hurled it at him. Lang waited, fully expecting an attack. Saras, however had been casually leaning against the wall of a sushi shop, and only just avoided her dagger as it came down to meet him. The shapeshifter scampered away, and before Cin Lin could follow up with another move, Lang was upon her. He slammed the butt of his spear into the ground, narrowly missing her toes, and spun the shaft, the sack of boulders missed by a fur, but Cin Lin was ready for the flying roundhouse kick that came next and blocked it, only to get nailed on the chin with another kick that sent her into the air.

Recovering herself, she landed on the rooftop, where Lang soon came after her, slashing at her head with the tip of his spear. Cin Lin escaped a deadly blow by twisting herself away in the nick of time. Mid-twist she lashed out in a kick that knocked Lang on the roof. The red panda landed back on the street, glaring up at her.

Cin Lin hopped down from the roof, then they charged forwards once more. Cin Lin hopped over Lang's swing, and landed behind him, before dashing at Saras. The fox rolled out of the way of her slash and as the lynx turned Lang's fist crashed into her face, knocking her off her feet and onto her back.

"All right! Teamwork!" Lang ignored the fox's proposed high five, and watched his opponent rise once more.

Cin Lin was frowning deeply. She had expected Lang to prove troublesome, but the kit had a special kind of luck that quite frankly pissed her off. He honestly should have died over a dozen times already.

Then Lang darted forwards, using his spear to pole-vault into her chest he delivered a strong double-leg kick that pushed her back several feet. She was next forced to duck a powerful backhand blow that would have otherwise knocked her out. Her dagger went up again, but the red panda evaded her once more, before swinging the burlap at her. Cin Lin stepped out of the way, and used a low window ledge to gain some higher ground, only for the red panda's fist to crash into her stomach and send her crashing through the window and into what appeared to be an abandoned living room. She landed on a matress, and sent up a veritable cloud of dust.

Lang followed her in, but the lynx managed to avoid his otherwise deadly punch.

The feline hopped onto a side-table, to avoid his jab, which buried his spear deep into the wall. The assassin barged open a door and found herself in a kitchen as old and as dusty as the rest of the house.

Lang followed her suite, abandoning his spear. He was greeted by a volley of minute kitchen knives thrown at him with pinpoint accuracy. One caught him on the shoulder, one on the thigh, and another on the forehead. Lang didn't even flinch, and pulled the knives off one by one.

 _The Hand of Chaos... Well I suppose I should be proud he has to use it against me..._

Cin Lin followed up by shoving the table in his direction, but the red panda chopped the legs off and let it crash in the living room. He then punched through the chairs that Cin Lin sent after him. Cups, mugs, bowls, chopsticks, by the time Cin Lin was out of ammunition Lang was bleeding all over his body, and the floor was covered in hundreds of tiny, sharp pieces of shrapnel. Not that that made much of a difference.

"My turn." He growled. Lang tore forwards and swung at her head. The lynx sidestepped the blow, which crashed through a cabinet's door instead. He wrenched his fist back and consequently tore the entire cabinet off the wall as well. The assassin dodged his swing, and the wood exploded against the wall. She tried a slash with her dagger, but Lang blocked with a thick piece of splintered wood. He followed up by kicking her in the chest, and knocking her through another window.

Cin Lin exploded back onto the street, and rolled to her feet, shaking away the broken glass that glittered like diamonds. She waited for Lang to come charging at her. Instead she was met with a chair. She dodged the blow, but was nailed in the face with a strong kick from her opponent. Cin Lin landed on her side, but rolled back to her feet. Suddenly, she felt the ground beneath her weaken and was pulled down to her waist into the earth. In mole form Saras tore free of the earth in front of her and tore open her cheek with a slash of his claws. Much to his surprise, Lang grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and flung him away.

"I told you to stay out of this!" Then the red panda advanced forwards, and kicked Cin Lin's dagger out of her paw, before grabbing her by the front of her hood and pulling her down to eye level. "Where is he?!" He demanded.

"No idea who you're talking about." There was a sudden explosion of smoke, forcing Lang to cough and bat it away. Once it had cleared, both Cin Lin and her dagger had gone.

Lang growled loudly, before letting out a scream of pure rage. Saras got to his feet behind him, before quietly backing away. Lang was scary in a good mood, but now, covered in blood and yelling like a madman. Saras really didn't fancy his chances unless he stayed at least fifty li away from him.

"Er... did we miss something?" Both Lang and Saras turned to find their other roommates looking from a tired-looking kit, to a blood-covered and enraged red panda, to the evident vandalism of public property.

"Well..." Saras began.

* * *

Meanwhile Dianbo was doing fairly well against the goons. They were more or less typical thugs, with a few basic Kung Fu skills. But there were significantly more of them than there were hims.

The jackal's whip slashed open a wolf's cheek, before it wrapped around the same lupine's leg and pulled him forwards into an involuntary half-split. Dianbo landed a roundhouse kick directly to the wolf's head, that knocked the hapless lupine to the ground. The gorilla wrapped him from behind in a bone-crushing hug and pulled backwards, while two more opponents darted forwards. Dianbo used his newfound leverage to land a kick each to the ones charging at him, before bringing his feet down between the gorilla's legs. The ape promptly dropped him and fell to his knees. Dianbo ducked under the swing of a hammer, and gave it's user a kick to the gut that bent him forwards, and a spinning kick to the side of the head to knock him off his feet. He followed up with a double leg sweep on another opponent.

The gorilla was rising once more, albeit dizzily. Dianbo charged forwards, hopped into the air and wrapped his legs around the ape's neck, before twisting with his hips and hurling his opponent to the ground. The canine got up and dusted his paws. That had been... significantly easier than he'd anticipated.

He then turned to the sound of clapping.

"That was very impressive." Reidak said, drawing a pair of billy clubs. "But beating up civilians...not so much."

Dianbo scowled. _Impressive cover-up... I should have known they had an inside man..._

Reidak tore forwards and swung his club, knocking out the poor gorilla who had been trying to rise. Dianbo attempted a kick that caught the wolf on the nose. Then the tiger dropped his weapons, grabbed the jackal's foot and hurled him into a pyramid of apples the vendor had just been about to finish. The pig burst into sobs of sadness, which both the jackal and the tiger ignored as they continued their battle. Dianbo rolled off the cart and shoved it towards the charging Reidak, knocking the tiger off his feet and onto the ground. Dianbo tried to stomp on the top of his head, but the feline rolled out of the way and brought his fist down on his opponent's toes, causing Dianbo to begin hopping up and down on his other foot, while his paws rubbed Reidak's victim free of pain. The tiger pounced forwards, forcing the canine to fall forwards and land, sprawled-out on top of him.

"You cannot win!" Reidak said, struggling to extricate himself from the tangle of limbs. "Those who prey on the weak will find themselves curbed by the forces of justice!"

"Who are you kidding, _assassin_?"

"What are you trying to frame me for?" Reidak demanded, shoving the jackal a fair distance away.

"You are here to help this band of killers!" Dianbo scowled, landing a kick that knocked Reidak a fair distance away.

"What killers?" Reidak asked, blinking. Both turned to face the members of the Order of the Owl, who were slowly rising to their feet with pained groans. They noticed the looks and in unison threw a smoke bomb each unto the ground. By the time it cleared, there was no trace of them.

Dianbo scowled all the deeper. "Do you have any idea what you've just done?"

Reidak frowned. "Explain." He said, crossing his arms over his chest.

* * *

 _Footnote: Bit of a short fight, more so Dianbo's than Langs. But all of this' true purpose is to delve into their backstories. I don't know why but nowadays I have this tendency to dumb-down certain characters. Though really both are fair assumptions. Reidak doesn't know Dianbo and all he saw was him beating up a bunch of (incompetent) fighters. Dianbo doesn't know Reidak, and for all he knows thinks the tiger is only saying that to make him look like the villain to the public.  
_

 _Next chapter we get Lang's backstory and Dianbo's backstory._


	28. Tales of a Wolf and a Jackal

"Shifty, I'm disappointed in you." The ensemble were all seated within the sushi restaurant. After hearing the events of the day, Li I couldn't help but give his opinion. "What did you expect would happen if you go around acting like bait? I expected more logic from someone like you."

Saras' eye twitched in annoyance. As if he had even had a choice in the matter!

"And Lang, really what is your beef with Cin Lin? You obliterated a window! And furniture! And the kitchen of someone's private property. And now you've got me sounding like Miss Yang! Great job guys!"

Lang would have probably throttled him, but after his fight with Cin Lin the red panda had been uncharacteristically exhausted. Saras put it down to age, he had seemed to be going all out on the lynx after all.

"I think the biggest question is who wants you dead." Jiao'ao interjected, pointing at Saras. "I mean you don't seem like the type of guy that annoys people a lot." He gave Li a pointed look. "But if they're going to hire an assassin they must really not like you."

"I guessed." Saras replied deadpan.

Lang stifled a yawn.

"You best be tired young man!" Snapped Li. "Just think about all the trouble you've caused!" The rabbit then gasped in shock. "I _am_ becoming Miss Yang. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Jiao'ao blinked, and turned back to the fox. "So... any ideas?"

Li I ignored him. "So why are you so tired anyways?"

Growling, Lang barked at the bunny. "Because of my goddamn technique! That's why! Now if you don't _mind_ I'm going to sleep!" And with that he slumped against the table and began snoring gently.

They all blinked.

"Lang-sama is a bit... strange." Han Guan commented.

"Aren't we all?" Mused Jiao'ao. "Though I think I know more about him than he could guess."

"I smell gossip. Spill the beans."

"Well... I do know that he is technically Lord of the Mountains of Smoke and Sorrow-"

"What are those?" Li interrupted.

"Didn't you ever read a map?"

"That doesn't answer my question."

"They're a set of mountains in Northern China, named such because of the constant mist that surrounds the place and the lack people living there. Essentially he conquered it a few years ago with a small army and butchered the Imperial encampment in the area. Afterwards he beat back an attempted reconquest and in the interest of peace the Emperor decided to let him hold claim over the land. It's not like anyone lives there anyways."

"How do you know that?" Barked Lang, who had woken up to hear the last few phrases.

"I study our history."

"Woah, how did you get an army?" Li I asked.

"None of your damn business!" Lang snapped.

"Er Lang-sama this might be useful for figuring out who wants to kill Shifty-sa-" Hang Guan was cut short by the angry panda.

"I don't care who wants him dead! I only want Cin Lin!"

"Are you Gaogui?" Jiao'ao asked after a long pause of thought.

"Why would I be... them?" He demanded brusquely.

"Well, they are the only nobility of your species in this country."

"And why would I be nobility?"

Jiao'ao shrugged. "It's an assumption. I heard the youngest son of the latest Lord Gaogui killed two of his brothers and fled... and then you show up and claim an entire Mountain Range."

"None of that means we're the same person." Lang pointed out in his usual fashion.

"Oh, well... it was just a guess." Jiao'ao said and waved it away.

"But you're right." Lang admitted. He then leaned forwards and fixed everyone with a death stare. "Since you'll pester me until I tell you I'll let you in on some things. However. If what I say on this table goes anywhere beyond this table..." He drew his paw across his throat, and they all nodded vigorously.

"I was indeed born Xiao Gaogui... the youngest of seven. The smallest. The runt of the family. The one all my brothers picked on when they got bored. They used to beat me up all the time. When I turned sixteen, I discovered I had this strange power to turn off pain. Then my brothers tried to gang up on me again and I'd had enough. I fought back and in my rampage I killed two of them."

Saras, Li I and Han Guan shared a look of concern. Kunjingle and Jiao'ao were staring at him with full attention.

"Now my parents never really cared about me. And would have killed me if I stayed. So I left, and went into the Imperial Army. All the recruiters saw was my size and I became a messenger. I hated my job, which was to run away at the first sight of danger. I got bitter, and angry. After ten years, I intercepted a message that the warlord considering surrender, and that a diplomatic party would be arriving. I then destroyed the diplomatic party and all of his remaining soldiers. Then I marched up to his fortress, and killed him too."

Saras, Li I and Han Guan shuddered, and subconsciously moved their chairs slightly further away from the panda.

"And what was my reward for ending a ten year campaign? I got thrown into one of their cursed prisons to rot and decay. The jokes on them... I only got stronger. I met a guy called King-"

"King Who?" Interrupted Li.

"King of Bandits." Lang growled.

"Never heard of him." Saras blurted out.

"Of course you wouldn't. You're not part of the underworld." Then Lang continued with his tale. "He taught me Kung Fu, and how to control my gifts-"

"He should have spent more time on your temper." Li mumbled.

"Interrupt again and I will skewer you with this chopstick!" Li shut up. "Once I was fully trained, we bust out and laid waste to the Black Isle. Then you know the rest."

"We don't know where you got an army from." Jiao'ao corrected. "Noone does."

"I like to keep some things to myself." _Though if any of you had anything between your ears it wouldn't be too hard to figure out._

"Well." Began Han Guan. "Let's change the subject."

* * *

"So this Cin Lin wants to kill Shifty?" Reidak asked, arms crossed over his chest. _If he stole from more than just the Silver Fang it's not much of a surprise._

"It's strange. I mean he's a kit. Literally. I think she may be hunting the wrong guy. But Lang wants something from her so we were using the fox as bait. Only it didn't seem to work out so well." Dianbo scowled. "If you hadn't showed up none of them would have escaped."

Reidak growled slightly at the statement. "Why do you use a whip?" He demanded. After several years in slavery the tiger had learned to despise any and all who held something as cruel as the whip. Not that much came close.

"Good weapon. What have you got against whips?" Dianbo retorted.

"I was a slave once." Reidak's whole form was tense. He still didn't trust this jackal.

"Oh." Dianbo understood. "My father defeated a powerful slaver. And freed my mother."

Reidak relaxed. Slightly. "There is something off about your fighting style." He continued to probe. "Like there's something you don't do."

"Why do you wear a blindfold?" Dianbo interrogated.

"Blind. My eyes got burnt off. Why don't you punch?"

"Weak paws."

Then at the same time. "Who trained you?"

"Master Flying Rhino." Dianbo answered first.

Reidak raised an eyebrow. " _The_ Master Flying Rhino?"

"There's only one." The jackal corrected.

"Impressive. Why learn Kung Fu?"

Dianbo shrugged. "I needed something to do. Kung Fu just seemed to fit. I mean my paws were always weak, but I was always drawn to fighting. I used to fight at school for fun... and lost more often than not. I got depressed a few years ago, my mother got really ill, and Master Flying Rhino didn't live far from our village so I used to go and watch him from time to time. Once he offered me to try out. I failed, and broke my paw. I was so gutted. But he said I had the spirit and the footwork to advance in Kung Fu. So he started teaching me, and to compensate for my lack of punches he suggested weapons. Sword were too common, halberds too long, mace's too heavy. I'm decent with a meteor hammer as long as it's nice, but the whip is just... perfect. It's long ranged, sharp, can be used for cutting and grabbing and binding, but is rarely fatal."

By this time they reached the scene of Lang and Cin Lin's battle, and spotted the blood-stained glass and footprints that led into a sushi shop. Ending the small-talk and drawing their weapons they charged in, and together kicked the door off it's hinges, before standing back-to-back against the doorway.

They were met with applause from Kunjingle, Han Guan and Li I, a look of incredulity from Jiao'ao, a blink from Saras, a soft snore from Lang, and booing and hissing from the crowd of angry sushi-consumers who had just had the peace and quiet of their meal (and their entire door in the case of the manager) taken away from them.

"Er... I think we should leave before we get mobbed." Dianbo whispered.

"I think you're right." Reidak agreed. Quietly the two backed out of the restaurant.

* * *

Cin Lin finished healing the last of her cuts, before sitting down, cross-legged, and stuffing a large dumpling into her mouth. Having the gift to heal wounds almost instantly was useful, but the ridiculously high metabolism it came with was plain stupid. She ate more than her entire band of followers, and that was saying something. But eating a lot was better than starving to death in the space of one second, so ate she did. She moved on to a bowl of hot soup, and drank it all in three gulps.

The fox was the hardest target she had had in a while. Not because he himself was anything special, but because he came ridiculously well-defended. Lang, the jackal and the entire group who had been there at the end... normally such odds wouldn't have been much of a problem for a professional squad of the Order of the Owl. But her squad... were in the developing stage, and as such couldn't beat a skinny dog in an eight on one. Oh and somehow all of them had lost their cloaks. The Order of the Owl hadn't been offered much for the hit, the standard price, on someone not particularly special. She could ask for double, since 'shapeshifter' was certainly something special...

Another reason she probably ate more than her entire squad was that she had refused them (on threats of death) lunch, dinner and breakfast for the next tree days as punishment. Normally she would have been punished alongside them, but the side-effects of her gift made that hard to pull off. She relaxed after her filling meal and frowned deeply. She would watch the fox for now, if an opportunity presented itself, she would take it. But after the first two scuffles she doubted he'd go anywhere alone.

For now he was well-protected. But that would not, and could not last. Either way there was no rush, and Cin Lin rarely failed at her job.

* * *

 _Footnote: Cin Lin Arc Part I is now complete. Next up is Task Three! Though we don't exactly start at the Third Task..._

 _I was very annoyed about the last Tournament's backstory introduction which was basically all of the characters standing in a circle and saying their backstories one by one. As you can see this time it's a bit more spread out. I also cut out some things Lang wouldn't tell them like Swift and Bing. I also like the formatting of questions-and-answers (or pointless comments) backstories, rather than just a big wall of text with which I can smash skulls big and small._

 _Anyways update soon._


	29. Riddles and Giggles

The morning after the day of Cin Lin, was punctuated, or rather begun with, by loud screaming. Lang was up immediately, tearing open the curtains of his bed. Han Guan got up and kicked at an invisible foe. Kunjingle rolled off the bed and fell on the floor. Jiao'ao squawked loudly and pressed a wing against his chest to calm a beating heart. Reidak drew his bill clubs. Dianbo dived for his whip and accidentally hit the bed-post. Li I joined in the screaming, grabbed his fan and threw it open. Saras stopped screaming and drew a massive sigh of relief. Safi was holding a paw to her chest.

Eventually they all steadied themselves. Safi was the first to recover. "What the hell is wrong with you?! You could have given me a heart-attack with that scream of yours!"

Saras' eye began twitching in annoyance. "It's a pity I didn't." He mumbled.

"What did you say?"

Before he could reply, Li I had hopped over and was staring Safi right in the eye.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Sneaking up on all of us this early in the morning. This is an all-guy dorm and I'm really not comfortable with women staring at me while I sleep." The rabbit crossed his paws over his chest. Then realized what he had said sounded wrong. "I'm not comfortable with men staring at me while I sleep either, or any time. Really stop with the staring! And if you're worried about your heart you shouldn't walk in on sleeping people." He leaned in close and whispered. "I don't judge anyone but the night-wear options are really lacking."

"I am allowed to be wherever I want, whenever I want. My daddy owns this palace."

"And I own my privacy!" Li shot back.

"And my sleep." Lang added in a growl.

"I don't care about any of _you._ " Safi remarked, her nose wrinkling in apparent disgust of them all. Dianbo's face fell, but she didn't notice. "I care about this incompetent, evil little cretin skipping work! I thought we made a deal!"

"What deal?" Han Guan asked, his head cocked to the side.

"Why?" Li I said at the same moment.

"For no reason." Saras interrupted.

"Well? Where were you?" Safi demanded, her paw stamping on the ground in impatience.

"I was-"

"Oh, it was all my fault Safi-chan." Han Guan walked over to Saras' side. "I made him come along with me to critique a sushi restaurant down at the village."

"Oh, so he was skipping work and eating at the same time?"

"Er..." Evidently the wolverine had not thought far enough ahead. "Well not really-"

"You know what, your breath stinks and I don't like your voice anyways. You can shut up now."

Han Guan blinked in stunned hurt. Safi did not care and turned to Saras. "Show up today or-"

"He can't. The Third Task will start today." Jiao'ao announced importantly.

"And who are you meant to be? Does it look like I'm talking to someone as broke as you?"

Jiao'ao's eye gave a very annoyed twitch. After silencing the avian, she turned back to the fox. "Do you understand?"

"Listen lady you aren't the boss of anyone-" Li was interrupted by the cat's tongue of steel.

"Go cry to your parents about life not being fair, I do what I want, or have you not got any?"

Li I would have mauled her if not for Kunjingle grabbing him from behind and fully restraining him.

"Yes." Saras replied, his eyes so narrow they were almost closed.

"Good!" And with that she turned on and stomped off. Kunjingle let the rabbit drop onto the bed.

"What a bitch." Li I commented, his paws crossed over his chest. "If I was her father the only thing I'd give her would be a good smack. She interrupts our sleep, bosses Shifty around like he's garbage, hits me where it hurts, calls Jiao'ao poor and brings in Han Guan's breath?! So not cool!" The others nodded and muttered in agreement, save for Dianbo, who was whistling gently in the corner.

* * *

For once Saras was lucky, for while he had been (slowly) eating breakfast and dreading another day at Safi's place (made even worse with the constant threat of an assassination looming over him), Chaonao had come in looking very pleased with himself.

 _"Ladies and gentlemen! Gather round! Gather round! Tomorrow begins the Third Task, and I hope you're all ready because we don't delay this stuff! The arena has been fitted out with a full-scale maze, filled with traps, puzzles, tricks and the occasional opponent. Your objective is to find the answer to your very own custom-made riddles, and bring it back out the maze as fast as you can! The first ten to get it, are through to the next round! SQUAWK! Now, due to the complex and difficult nature of this Task we decided to be generous and give you an entire day to figure out what your riddle is talking about before you walk into the battlefield. That and let's be honest noone pays to watch people stare at scrolls!"_

"Riddles? You know I'm starting to doubt this tournament is a very good test of _real_ Kung Fu." Jiao'ao whispered.

"What do you mean real?" Asked Mulaohu, who had heard him from the next table.

"Well... shapeshifting, fireballs, bones... not exactly Kung Fu."

 _"Now get up here when I call your name and pick up your riddle! First up Reidak-"_

"I'd say it's more a test of combat." The dog said with a shrug, before marching forwards to collect her riddle.

"You know my Master used to say all tournaments were just a show?" Dianbo interjected with a chuckle, before going silent again as memories of his recently-passed master no doubt flooded his mind.

* * *

One by one the riddles were given out, and one by one everyone sat down to read them. Then one by one people were lifting heads in confusion.

"Am I the only one who thinks Chaonao wrote this? I mean 'I am metal, I am flab, I am a wall, And my belly's a ball, what am I?' I can just imagine him sitting at his desk and thinking he's real smart for coming up with something this stupid!" Li I ranted, then threw down his riddle onto the table. Han Guan picked it up and began analyzing.

"Well, you're looking for something that's fat... and metalic and a wall-maybe it's in the wall? Or it's something fat inside something made out of metal that's in the wall?"

Kunjingle clicked his fingers and stamped the floor.

Li I laughed. "Yeah, it could be that! But I hope not! Do you have any idea how heavy that would be? Hey, let me see yours."

The bear handed him his own scroll, which the rabbit opened and read aloud. "'A pair of rainbows, both with long ears, and a small nose, will be your worst fears.' Yup, definitely Chaonao. Noone else would write something this dumb. Rainbows _do not_ have ears!"

"You're thinking of everything too literally." Jiao'ao explained in a tone that knew everything. "It's metaphorical. You're meant to look for something that reminds you of a rainbow and has something resembling a face. Maybe a pattern in a vase."

"Because Kunjingle will be scared of rainbow-coloured vases? I think I'll pass on the literature." The rabbit handed the bear back his scroll, then leaned over to stare at Saras' scroll over the fox's shoulder. "'Furious as the tempest, as angry as a bird's nest, you'll find it with much sorrow, if you want to continue tomorrow.' Well that makes sense doesn't it? Just feel sad and you'll find it Shifty. Best start practicing your frown."

Saras frowned deeply and was about to comment, when Li I clapped him on the back.

"That's the spirit! Do that and Chaonao will practically throw the prize at you."

"I don't think it's that simple." But Li I had already moved on and Saras watched as he grabbed Jiao'ao's scroll out of his wings and was reading it out loud for all to hear.

"When the sweat falls west, it's what you'll have to find. It's official but not the best, but it's got a heart, even if it lacks a mind.'" He started laughing and handed the peacock back his scroll. "A hundred percent Chaonao. Go on, make sense out of that."

Jiao'ao frowned at the challenge. "When the sweat falls west... means that it comes from the east, heart instead of mind, official..." Li I shook his head in solemnity, and hopped off to Han Guan, where the wolverine read out his own scroll.

"Proud as a peacock, without a chain or lock, as colourful as they come, with something pretty large and long.' Er... a tanuki?"

"Tanuki?" Li asked, his head cocked to the side.

"Oh, it's a Japanese raccoon-shapeshifter thing." Saras explained, drawing a few raised eyebrows, and a massive grin from Han Guan, who promptly threw his arm around the fox.

"Finally! Someone who knows about my country! Congratulations Shifty-sama!"

Saras shrugged. He only knew that fact because he had once met a tanuki. Why he had just told it to everybody was beyond him.

"So Kuchisake-Onna or Yuki-Onna?" Han Guan asked conversationally.

"I don't know either of those." Saras said blankly.

Han Guan looked awkward. "Well er.. they're like tanuki I guess... only they're girls and they kill you. I er-misjudged your knowledge of Japan."

Saras blinked. "Er-right." Then the fox went back to reading his scroll. A riddle... wow. He wasn't dumb, but he hadn't really been expecting an intellectual challenge (then again he hadn't really expected much of what had occured). Least of all something as jarring as this! He watched in mild interest as Lang refused to hand Li I his scroll. Saras shook his head. This couldn't be so hard.

 _Furious as the tempest._.. that meant very angry, well that wasn't too hard, he had to find something angry, though something angry was probably not very good for his health. Or did he have to make something angry? That wouldn't be too hard either...if they were anything like Safi anyways.

 _Angry as a bird's nest..._ were bird nests even a symbol of anger? Because they didn't really stick out on his list of infuriated objects.

 _You'll find it with much sorrow_... 'it' seemed significant. Not a she, or a he. It could have been a mislead but Saras was convinced he was onto something.

 _If you want to continue tomorrow..._ That part really didn't need his inference.

Angry, sorrow, bird's nest, it... what on earth did it all mean?

"Wow! You have got the stupidest riddle in this room!" Li I said by way of congratulations. He was talking to Mulaohu, who looked like she couldn't have agreed more. "Draped in the dark, black as the night, I sing like a lark, and like to fight, not all I said here was true, because I like to mess with you.'" The rabbit exploded into fits of laughter. "Good luck Mulaohu! If you figure this out I will personally do all your laundry for a week!"

The Chongqing looked amused. "I'll take that bet."

Li I held out his paw, which the dog wrapped up in her much larger one, they shook gently and then Li I pulled free. "You should take the luck too. You'll really need it."

At that moment Saras figured it out. It hadn't been too difficult after all! "I've got it." He said, slamming a paw onto the table. Instantly the others crowded round to hear him share his wisdom.

"What is it?"

"Well, I think it's a-er egg." He hadn't really meant to grab everyone's attention...

Jiao'ao frowned. "Really? An egg? You'll find an egg with an angry face painted on it?"

"No I think I have to bring an egg out of the arena, and that I'll find it in a bird's nest with a feral bird." He explained somewhat smugly. It looked like he had figured it out first. That... wasn't a common occurrence.

"Where did you get all that from?" The peacock continued sceptically. Jiao'ao was reading through the riddle with a furrowed brow, and could not find any trace of the fox's intellect.

"They used 'it' instead of 'he' or 'she' which means that it's something you wouldn't genderize-since no one can tell whether an egg will hatch into a male or female it makes sense to use 'it'. Bird's nest is the biggest clue, and 'furious as the tempest' refers to the mother-bird, who'll get angry with me for stealing her egg." He felt very proud of his deduction. Now he was a few steps ahead of everyone else! And had an excuse not to work with Safi. An all-around victory!

For some reason, Dianbo chuckled, Reidak shook his head and Lang snorted. "What's so funny?" He demanded. He hadn't made any jokes as far as he was concerned...

"Nothing." They all replied at once. Then they looked back down at their scrolls.

Li I didn't seem to think it was funny. "You're a genius! Now, write it down so you don't forget, and then you can help me with my riddle."

"And I'm not missing out on a chance for free laundry." Mulaohu sat down opposite him and practically shoved her scroll into his paws.

"Can I go next?" Han Guan asked.

Kunjingle clicked his tongue, patted his cheek and snapped his flabby fingers.

"And you?" He asked Jiao'ao.

The peacock scowled and furrowed his brow, before staring back down at his scroll. Evidently he wanted to do it himself.

* * *

That night Saras went to bed utterly exhausted. But it was a good kind of exhaustion. He was satisfied. He had figured out his riddle before anyone else, and had managed to (with much effort) come up with something for the others.

Mulaohu would be searching for a black song-box, evidently Chaonao had been lying about the fighting bit, as song-boxes did not fight.

Li's had been more difficult, and had taken them to lunch, but in the end they had agreed that it was a ball of some sort, with something metal on the inside.

During lunch Wong had attempted to force him to help out with his riddle. The crocodile had received a gigantic cream-bun in the face (courtesy of Li I) for his troubles, and had promised many a knuckle-sandwich tomorrow.

Kunjingle's riddle had been harder, up until Han Guan had mentioned the Jackal-in-the-Box of Clubs, then in a sudden moment of inspiration he had realized that Kunjingle had to find a colourful Jackal-in-the-box! It had long ears, a small nose, and was as bright as a rainbow. The fear alluded to him getting taken by surprise.

Finally Han Guan... Saras felt a small bubble of guilt build up inside him. Try as he might he couldn't think of anything that fitted his poem. Li I had vowed to stay up all night if they had to-but Saras knew he had to proceed further, and he couldn't take any chances. So in the end he had done them all a favour and argued that the wolverine would be looking for a statue of a nude tanuki... He forced the guilt bubble to burst-he had tried his hardest, and anyways the wolverine had been pretty lucky so far-who was to say he couldn't be lucky a third time and manage another victory? Besides, if the top ten were going through that meant only six were being left behind. And once inside the maze they would all help each other out... if they found each other. Saras pushed those thoughts backwards. Han Guan didn't know and he could lie and say it was a mistake if the wolverine figured it out. Han Guan would _never_ know, and would most likely proceed anyways. And if he did he would be grateful. No harm done.

His conscience appeased with promises, Saras nodded off.

* * *

 _Footnote: Last week was a bit wonky, but I'm back on track with my schedule, so you can expect updates on the usual days. (Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Sunday)_

 _This chapter was really, really fun to write. I remember last time the Third Task was really... forgettable. I know it had a similar premise with the riddles and the maze, but for the life of me I honestly don't remember what actually happened last time. Which I suppose is why this feels so fresh._

 _I do remember that while there were riddles in play last time as well they weren't like this. I don't even think I wrote down any riddles at all last time. I'm very interested in seeing if any of you can guess what these riddles all mean, and whether or not you think Saras has got it right. I think it's a neat little twist anyways._

 _Next time the Third Task officially begins! But I think I'm going to be taking a bit of a break from this and focus a bit more on Back in The Day;The Tournament for a while. Ironically I have a feeling that this will be finished before that. I guess it fits since this is the original and that's a prequel... but I did start the prequel over a year ago..._

 _Anyways enjoy!_


	30. The Third Task

The morning of the Third Task came with a shower of the sun's molten rays. Saras woke up, brimming with confidence. He was practically grinning. And to think Babirasu had given _him_ a lecture about improving his game! This was going to be a walk in a park! All he had to do was find the bird egg and go.

"You guys ready for this?" Li I asked while they were having an especially large breakfast-rather, it was only exceptionally large because everyone else seemed to want solitude and were eating little. He _was_ grinning.

"Ready? I was born ready!" Han Guan exclaimed. "And when I get back home with the gigantic trophy... haha I can't wait to see the look on my clan's faces!"

Saras felt a fresh twist of guilt, and began wondering whether Han Guan was doing this on purpose. He dismissed the thought quickly, however. The wolverine wasn't smart enough.

Han Guan went on and on about how everyone would react, and Li I cheered loudly and from time to time gave his own little comment, the rabbit's own desire to win the tournament apparently lost in the moment of laughter.

"And my mother..." Han Guan said finally and stopped momentarily. The mood grew sombre from his hesitation. Then he shrugged. "I'm not sure what she'd do."

Li waved away his doubts. "She'd be happy to see you Han. I mean bastard or not you _are_ her son." When the wolverine looked like he was about to refute that opinion Li I continued. "And even if she isn't happy to see _you_ , she can't really complain about a giant golden trophy, can she?"

This cheered him up slightly, and their good mood returned.

It was just in time as well, for Chaonao had appeared, wearing a look that suggested the Winter Feast had come early, and that he had just received a giant present. _"Well, ladies and gentlemen! I hope you slept on those riddles of yours-or didn't, those needed a lot of work and if I see a single rip on one-"_ He trailed off, and wisely so. He may have been a loudmouth but there really wasn't much he could threaten them in. _"I will personally expose all of your deepest, darkest secrets!"_ He finished, with a face that would have been very scary to a roomful of babies. _"Now ahem- back to the point, the Third Task will start soon and I want to see you all in the arena as soon as possible! Gosh those four words need an acronym... Now get moving people! Your devoted fans are waiting! SQUAWK!"_

Still grinning, Li I led the procession to the carriages. Han Guan, Kunjingle and Saras followed close behind, their chests puffed with pride and their faces with clear, crystal, confidence. Saras, however, did not like Mulaohu's giggling when they passed the Chongqing dog's table. _Let her laugh... she won't find it so funny when I proceed and she doesn't._ He thought bitterly.

* * *

Inside the arena was, as Chaonao had promised, a large maze. Wooden walls that were taller than even Kunjingle towered above them, and stretched out from one end of the arena to another. The sands in them were blisteringly hot, and the sun seemed ready to melt and burn and boil all and everything in it's path. But despite the fact that he was sweating buckets, Saras did not mind. He would find the bird egg-melted or otherwise-and bring it out of the arena to grand applause from the audience.

 _"Alright ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the Third Task of the House of Tamod! This one was brought to you by your amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing host Chaonao!"_

"I knew it!" Li I exclaimed.

 _"And it is going to be the best one so far! SQUAWK! Our competitors have each been given a specific riddle which they had an entire day to think about. Now they must enter this great maze, filled with all sorts of perilous objects and find the object of their riddles. Only the first ten competitors to leave the maze with their allocated object will advance to the next task! SQUAWK! Now pick an entrance and get ready!"_

The competitors did as they were bid. Then the gong struck and the Third Task begun.

* * *

 _Footnote: Hey guys! So Imma just throw a bunch of chapters out today. I have been writing a lot, but things keep getting in the way. Like I had a free day today and was... productive to say the least. Now I'm tired so I'm going to sleep.  
_

 _Not much here, just a filler chapter before the Third Task starts proper._

 _Enjoy!_


	31. Tricks, Traps and Twists

Han Guan seemed to have chosen the most booby-trapped entrance of the maze. No sooner had he stepped foot inside the arena than a bucket of sticky black tar fell on top of him. He had jumped away with a cry of outrage when another bucket, this one consisting of pure white feathers, fell on top of his head. Chaonao did nothing to lessen his shame, by laughing so uproariously he almost fell out of the sky.

"Well... not like I'm not used to it." Han Guan muttered. He just had to find the tanuki statuette-thing, and then he'd show that parrot and the rest of his clan what he was capable of... and after that no one would laugh at him ever again! He had just enough time to scream before a meteor hammer swung into his face and flung him back out the maze. He got up and took a deep breath. "You're going down maze traps-kun!" He charged forwards with renewed determination, only to get drenched by another coating of tar and feathers.

 _"We're gonna be here a while..."_

* * *

Li I was skipping through the sands. His entrance was heavily trapped... only it didn't seem like whoever had trapped it had had him in mind. There were plenty of fat, large and sharp axes that swung on chains. Each could have shaved the hair off a pig, or beheaded the pig, but they were positioned too high for someone of his stature, and their blades never came within a foot of the tip of his ears. Fortune seemed to be in his favour.

* * *

Saras studied the apparently empty hall he had to traverse. He knew very well that he was not lucky enough to get an untrapped entrance, and anyways doubted Chaonao would have been nice enough to leave any entrance without traps. So, with caution he did not normally display, his eyes narrowed, his ears twisting and turning to every small noise that was made, and his nose sniffing the very air suspiciously, he took a tiny step forwards.

* * *

Ba crossed the mini-obstacle course easily. He frowned down at his scroll once more. The meaning to him was quite clear.

"Gold is all you see when you look at me, black and white, with insides that bite, it is I you will have to fight." He read aloud. There was only one competitor who fitted that description, and he had already proved himself a difficult opponent to beat. Still, anything was possible with enough patience and practice. Whether he would traverse this path or not was doubtful, but whether Ba could beat him in a fair fight was also doubtful. So the spider got to work, weaving his webs between the walls of wood.

* * *

Saras stopped. He was a foot away from a turn and had faced no traps yet. His heart hammered ridiculously fast. Where were the traps? Why were they not flying at him in the thousands? He crouched low. One foot left... surely that one foot of sand was more deadly that the numerous he had already come across. There were no wires, no worms waiting to bite. The sand wasn't quicksand. Tentatively he took a step forwards, and found no giant hammers coming down to bash in his brains. Another minute step forwards and he had crossed his entrance unscathed.

"So you're telling me that this entire place wasn't trapped? And that I just went around sniffing the walls for no reason?" He asked to no one in particular.

Somehow Chaonao heard him. _"Yup! Just a test to see whether any of our competitors have got any problems with paranoia! SQUAWK!"_

Saras growled, and threw caution to the wind as he turned. This resulted in him tripping over a wire, landing face-first in a bucket of mud. Then to add injury to insult, a giant hammer came out of the ground and catapulted him high into the air. Of course, he landed in quicksand.

* * *

As Dianbo made his way through the maze, he found his path obstructed by a large boulder. He frowned deeply, and for no reason besides curiosity, poked it. It wobbled, and for a moment he thought it was going to roll down the way he was going, hopefully taking out all the traps in the process, instead, it came back towards him and he was forced to make a hasty retreat back the way he came, with the boulder in hot pursuit.

 _"This reminds me of this guy I once heard about-"_

* * *

Wong's chosen entrance seemed to be the worst. Instead of sand there was a sheet of metal, baked hot by the sun. As if to show off how hot it was, a fat pan of dumplings sizzled in the center. And while a sheet of hot metal was something he could run through, a sheet of hot metal where one misstep sent a fat blade of metal shooting out the ground and into one's unprotected feet was not something he could run through.

 _"Insert burning fat joke?"_

Still, due in part to high pain tolerance and in another part to the fact that he was cold-blooded he had made it safely halfway through. Then a belt of fat metal was shot at him, and clicked tightly round his waist. He looked up in time to see a javelin flying towards him along with two slabs of round metal the size of boulders. They connected heavily to the belt around his waste, and made him fall on his rump. He landed right in the pot of cooking dumplings and screamed.

 _"Buns fried with dumplings, anyone? SQUAWK!"_

The crocodile's plight did not end there, as a long chain with a boulder attached to the end of it sent him skidding forwards-into a trampoline, which shot him back towards the chain-and-boulder, which sent him flying back to the trampoline and so forth, until finally, he burst right through the thin fabric of the trampoline.

The crocodile tried to rise up, but all his efforts were in vain, and so he fell flat on his stomach.

* * *

Jiao'ao passed Wong, or what he thought had been Wong but was literally now a pile of purple bruises and large, pink bumps. He payed the crocodile no more mind and continued forwards, dodging an arrow as he went.

Han Guan looked more like a kind of overgrown, tailless chicken than a wolverine, and his nose was throbbing painfully, but he did not mind, for after much flying and falling buckets he had managed to get past the entrance. For some reason that statement didn't make it sound very accomplishing. Still, no doubt there would be more traps, which he would defeat too, if need be.

* * *

The quicksand was specially made, it seemed, to only sink someone in halfway. The problem with being sunk halfway into anything, was that one had to eventually get oneself out. And with quicksand and no rope lying in sight that would have probably taken hours.

If it wasn't for the fact that he could teleport.

 _"That is not fair! It took ages to get the sand to not suck all of you in and you don't even have the common decency to try and escape in a normal way?"_

Frowning a little, Saras tried to wipe away the sand, but could tell that his clothes were properly ruined. If it was a choice between quicksand and paranoia, Saras decided he would go for paranoia.

* * *

Han Guan turned left, fully expecting a meteor hammer to the face. He walked forwards cautiously, only for three darts, for some reason trailing long, silky red, fox-tails to fly into his unprotected rump.

 _"Owowowowowowowow!"_ He raced forwards, trying to pull the darts out to no avail, and accidentally set off no less than sixty-seven different traps. He then tripped on a rock, and landed in a bucket of red paint. Pulling himself to his feet, the wolverine was surprised to find the area around him peppered with arrows, axes, swords, tridents, knives and the like. Somehow the only place left untouched was the Han-Guan-shaped piece of the sand with the red bucket.

 _"Sometimes Han, I can't decide whether or not you are lucky or unlucky. SQUAWK!"_

* * *

Jiao'ao frowned deeply as he turned and found yet another exit. How was he meant to prove his worth as a Kung Fu Master if he didn't get to do any Kung Fu? Walking through a maze and dodging random traps, was not Kung Fu.

" _Can you do something already? Please Your Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-oh look it's a tiger!"_

The tiger was Reidak, who came striding forwards from another part of the maze.

"Bored?" He asked casually, leaning against the maze walls.

Jiao'ao shrugged. "Didn't get to do much."

"Do you want to do something?" Reidak asked, pulling out his billy clubs.

Jiao'ao drew his sword. "Why not?"

 _"Okay. I mean that escalated quickly but it's not really escalated is it? I mean if you two are all friendly about fighting each other in public..."_

* * *

"Hi Kunjingle!" Li I hopped forwards a few steps, still ignoring the giant axes swinging left and right-axes that really looked like they wanted a victim.

He answered with a bark.

"Yeah, haven't found anything yet. What about you?"

He shrugged.

Li I sighed. "At least you're unhurt. To be honest I really expected more difficult than a walk through a maze."

Kunjingle nodded in agreement. They took a turn into a wider, more desolate part of the maze. Strangely they heard howling, and when they took another turn the pair found themselves facing a pack of angry, snarling, drooling, armoured, feral wolves.

* * *

"Where did you get permission to use those poor creatures?" Tianqi asked angrily.

 _"Hey I'm not the one that implemented them! That was Badr's idea! SQUAWK!"_

 _"Was it?"_ Tianqi asked, turning to give Badr his most menacing glare.

Badr smiled the way he always did. "Of course! Merely something to make the games more interesting. I'm sure they'll be fine."

"How would you like it if I merely wanted to use you for my own entertainment purposes?"

Badr smiled. "You should ask Duyao."

"What's that meant to mean?" The frog asked angrily.

"Merely that you would know what it feels like to be.. ah... used against your will." His eyes were alight with cruel laughter. Duyao wanted to hit him, and the desire to kill him had never been stronger. _He knows... he knows he only got lucky in our duel... he knows that I wanted to finish him... he doesn't know how far I'd go to do that..._

Wordlessly she stood up, and stomped off. Badr had just signed his death certificate.

 _"Badr... that was a bit low."_

The black cat shrugged. _Go and cry in a corner Duyao... and never come crawling out..._

* * *

Han Guan pulled himself through the last corridor, before collapsing on his front and panting heavily. He had made it! Well... he had survived one entrance and a few corridors. He just needed to find the tanuki statue. His clan would be so proud... if he won. With that image in mind he pulled himself to his feet.

* * *

Wong forced himself to think about how he'd spend the prize money, how he'd have so much gold he wouldn't know what to do with it. How he would live happily ever after in a mansion somewhere quiet, with a few croc-wives, and some kids and some underpayed servants to do everything. He sighed in contentment and with this desire in his mind, he forced himself to rise. He just had to find a kitsune.

* * *

Han Guan turned a corner, narrowly avoiding a giant red glove that punched from the wall. Then his eyes fell upon his prize. Larger than him, and fatter, with slimy scales his first thought was that it was Wong. But then he noticed the purple around it's eyes and the boulders and shaft sticking to it's belt.

"Huh... the Chinese have a weird way of sculpting... I doubt anyone here's actually seen a tanuki...Or balls...I mean they don't actually have giant... things..." For some reason he couldn't take his eyes away from the absurd thing. Then he shook his head to steady himself, and entered his battle stance. He would defeat this badly-disguised-tanuki!

* * *

Wong turned a corner after getting punched in the posterior by a large red glove that shot out from the wall. Then to his great surprise he found himself facing...

Well it looked like Han Guan, but it's face was painted red and it had three long, silken tails. The Chinese had merely never seen a kitsune before, but Wong appreciated the effort that had gone into making the replica-even if it was in especially poor taste. He noticed the kitsune go into a fighting stance, and readied himself.

* * *

Saras sniffed the sand cautiously as he went. He was creeping along on all fours, letting his nose guide him forwards. The rope Chaonao used was perfumed, it seemed. Hence, if all he smelt was sand then it was clear. Any perfume and he would backpedal and find something to throw in the general direction. It was not a bad idea in theory, but luck was never on his side, and he had only narrowly avoided a falling axe. Presently he could smell some kind of wood, faintly though, a bit of sweat, probably his own, and feet. That was odd-

"Why are you sniffing my feet?" Lang asked. He said it the way he said everything. With a glare and with a growl. Though now the growl was more pronounced.

"Oh." Saras stood up and twitched his nose, rubbing it thoroughly as if to cover up the embarrassing moment. "Y-your feet. Well, er- I wasn't looking so..." He trailed off. "I think I'm going to go... er- that way." He turned round, only to fall forwards as Lang gave his tail a sharp tug. A bear trap slammed itself shut in front of his nose.

"I don't think you're going anywhere." He said.

Saras teleported away, and was surprised to see Lang bring the butt of his spear down on the sand where his head had been a moment before.

"I didn't mean to do that! I don't have a-anything to d-do with your feet! It was an accident!" Somehow all his 'accidents' ended painfully or humiliatingly.

Lang looked deadpanned for once. "It's not about the feet, though that bothers me too. Thing is. You're my ticket forwards." Lang opened his riddle, and Saras skimmed through the lines.

Ten... tails, fur, fangs, feathers and feet. "Well, that could be referring to a... shapeshifter. One second." Saras pulled his own riddle out and read it closely once again, while Lang waited, almost patiently. Furious as the tempest, as angry as a bird's nest, you'll find it with much sorrow, if you want to continue tomorrow. "Oh... furious.. tempest... angry." He felt a lot less intelligent now than he did the same time a day ago. He felt a small sinking feeling in his stomach. Why did he have to fight Lang of all people?

"You done yet?" The red panda asked.

"Well..." He gulped audibly. Lang... now all that stood between him and victory was Lang.

His sweating doubled.

 _"Nice twist, right you two?"_

* * *

 _Footnote: Well I thought it was a nice twist anyways. All of those riddles were actually about other competitors. I'll explain in detail as I go along what riddle refers to who. To be fair the Lang one wasn't an easy one to guess, it was originally_

 _ **L** ittle  
 **A** ngry  
 **N** asty  
 **G** uy_

 _But that gave the game away a bit too easily and would have made Saras and co. Look a tad stupid._

 _Now that you **do** know what these riddles are about (other competitors) you **might** have a better chance of figuring out who belongs to who, but there's another twist coming up in regards to this, and it's not like I made any of them especially easy._

 _Enjoy._


	32. Bad Make-Up And The Amber Palace Masters

Wong charged forwards, only to trip on a rope he had not noticed before and to fall on his front. A large, fat, belt promptly dealt him a single lash across his rump. Han Guan couldn't help laughing about how easy this would be. He took a step forwards only for a rope to tie around his foot and pull him so that he hung upside down. To make matters worse a sole chilli pepper flew at him and landed right in his mouth. Due to it's speed and power, he had no choice but to swallow.

 _"I think this fight is going to be more of a test of endurance than anything else."_

Han Guan managed to wriggle free of the rope and land back on the sand. He rose diligently, only for a red glove to punch him on the nose.

"Owowowowowow! By dose!"

Wong got up, charged forwards, and managed to pole vault himself forwards using the long spear shaft still stuck to his metallic belt.

 _"That is really gross..."_

He landed on his face, only for his body to turn fully so that he landed hard on his back, the wind knocked fully out of him. Han Guan tried to continue forwards, but the red gloves were everywhere at once. His nose, his chest, his cheek, his tail, his foot and finally, an especially large one came and caught him on the top of the head. He slumped awkwardly, but remembered the necessity of the tanuki statue and continued to advance towards it.

Finally the two stood facing each other, though they were still separated by a good few feet by the long shaft. Despite the fact that he could see quite clearly that it was made of wood, Han Guan was desperate to not make contact with it.

Wong swung with his fist, his vision was blurred and he didn't know he was out of range, but the momentum of his swing twisted the spear shaft so that it swung as well, catching Han a blow across the cheek.

The wolverine yelped, not in pain but in disgust, spat on his paw and hurriedly wiped at the bruised spot. Wong swung again, wondering how he had missed the first blow, and the shaft came back round. This time Han Guan was ready and expanded his claws, which sliced cleanly through the wood.

 _"Is it just me or is this fight somehow really... really weird?"_

Wong tried a belly flop, and the shortened shaft punched into Han's stomach with the force of a fist, before coming back to deal an uppercut. Wong repeated the gesture, only this time the shaft buried itself into Han's open mouth.

 _"Okay... I take no credit whatsoever for putting that spear there. If you want to press charges, sue someone else! SQUAWK!"_

Han Guan bit down on the shaft, and with a mighty tug pulled it free from the belt. Then with a mighty swing he smacked the tanuki across the face with it.

 _"So he ripped it off and hit him with it..."_ Chaonao shivered.

Wong, now no longer impeded by the spear shaft, snatched at his opponent's head, and bashed it against the wall. Han Guan's claws slashed wildly, and sent sparks flying off the metal boulders. Luckily for the wolverine, Wong had set off a trap, and yet another red glove came out, this one succeeded in knocking out one of the crocodile's teeth. Han Guan then brought his elbow into the side of Wong's head. He followed up with another elbow to the gut and a knee to the groin. The combo worked up until his knee hit the metal boulder. Both yelled in pain, Han hopping up and down on one foot and Wong bent double and clutching his gut. Naturally both set off a trap.

A fire started behind Han Guan, and the flames caught onto the ridiculous silken tails, while at the same time a bucket of sesame oil was dumped over Wong.

"Owowowowowowowowowow!" Han turned trying to smack out the flames before they could set fire to his butt. The tails swept over Wong's form briefly and the croc was on fire a moment later.

In anger, the crocodile grabbed the kitsune by the tail and lifted him off the ground and into a wall, where a red glove came and caught him on the stomach. The sesame oil burnt itself out, and so did the flames. Wong lifted Han Guan again and was about to bring him back into the wall when the darts came loose and the wolverine collapsed on his front.

"Dank you for pullindout de tails. Dey hurt a lot danuki-sama."

"Han Guan?" Wong asked incredulously. "You are the kit _th_ une?"

"Wong?"

Then both were extremely angry.

"You lied do me!"

"No! You de _th_ ieved me!"

Wong came at Han Guan with a mighty turn, so that his tail whacked the wolverine across the face. Before Han could rise Wong crushed his paw underfoot.

"You alway _th_ wa _th_ pathetic." He mocked, as he lifted Han by the scruff of the neck. The mustelid kicked him on the chin, before swinging for his nose.

"By do _th_ e! You broke by do _th_ e!" The crocodile howled. Han Guan jabbed forwards, his claws buried into the belt, and separated it long enough for it to slip down around the crocodile's ankles and reattach itself there. Wong stepped forwards, or rather tried to, and fell on top of the mustelid.

"Gedoff!"

"I can't move my leg _th_ becau _th_ e of you!"

Han heaved with all his might, but his own exhaustion and the weight of the croc-increased by the boulders now attached to his ankles- proved too strong for him. He lay on his stomach, letting out a long sigh while he waited for the crocodile to get off of him...

 _"Well... that fight was... interesting...Now let's have a look at what some of the others are doing!"_

* * *

Li I and Kunjingle were doing fairly well against the feral wolves. As in Li I was sitting atop the bear's head, chatting nonchalantly about a class trip he had once gone on with his peers, while Kunjingle, who had plenty of experience dealing with feral animals on the rampage (his institute was particularly underfunded).

"And then he pushed me into the box! Now I never liked him, but pushing me into a box of dogfood- no offence-"

This was said to one wolf who's jaws had come an inch away from the rabbit's nose, but had been caught by Kunjingle's paw and was promptly tossed into the ground.

"I could have been eaten man! But then my friends found out I was in trouble-well I don't exactly know how, but I suppose Lee blabbed on himself."

Though it was a fascinating story, the audience couldn't hear a word of it. Kunjingle, being a semi-professional feral handler, knew how to beat an animal into submission without causing lasting damage. And while the wolves would leave sore and bruised, it wasn't anything permanent.

This fact was not known to the audience, many of whom were beginning to file mental complaints about the treatment of ferals. This fact was also unknown to Tianqi, who's own life goals were being shredded in front of him. By his former roommate no less.

"You'll pay for this!" He spat at the black cat, who grinned at the empty threat. Rising the horse sucked in a large amount of air. "MULAOHU!"

His student stopped in her tracks, narrowly missing a set of kunai that had been shot at her. She kneeled, poised, in a Kung Fu salute. "YES MASTER!" She bellowed back.

"TAKE A LEFT!" Tianqi ordered. "NOT MY LEFT! YOUR LEFT!"

"YES MASTER!"

* * *

Kunjingle tossed the wolf into the sand, then knelt down and itched it gently by the ears. It released a long sigh of contentment, and it's tongue hanged out happily.

* * *

All the audience saw, however, was one of the wolves suddenly go very still.

"FASTER! GO RIGHT!" If he was allowed, Tianqi would have jumped into the arena himself and began beating up both the bear and the bunny. His life had been dedicated towards helping those who could not help themselves. He was not going to watch them get beaten up in front of him and do nothing! "NOW LEFT! AND RIGHT! LEFT! RIGHT! LEFT! LEFT! LEFT! LEFT! RIGHT!"

* * *

Just as Kunjingle let the last wolf down gently onto the sand, where they all lay panting and content, Mulaohu came in from one side of the maze.

 _"One of our hosts is helping guide his student into combat! I don't think that's allowed but who cares! Screw the rules! If it means action I'm in!"_

"Huh? Mulaohu? Hi." Greeted Li I. The rabbit hopped off of Kunjingle and landed on the sand, brushing his paws. "I still don't owe you a laundry, do I?"

"MULAOHU! I WANT YOU TO BEAT THEM BOTH BLOODY! NOBODY HARMS AN INHIBITED PERSON AND GETS AWAY WITH IT! AS THE SAYING GOES: KARMA IS A BITCH!"

 _"Okay... remain calm everybody! I think one of our hosts has lost it! SQUAWK!"_

Mulaohu suddenly glared so violently that Li I took a hasty step backwards. Then the Chongqing glanced briefly at the wolves, all curled up in a pile. "How could you do something like that?"

"Like what?" Li I glanced behind him at the pack of dazed wolves. "Oh! You heard my story! Well I didn't do it, Flower's the one that came and- _holly molly!_ "

Mulaohu had thrown open several scrolls, and after a brief puff of smoke, each one revealed a different weapon-and each weapon was ridiculously large, as if they had been made for a giant. They were even larger to Li I, who was small to begin with. Mulaohu then drew her sword and let it hang at her side. Then she selected a giant scythe and chain, with a metal ball as big as a boulder in her other paw. It was meant to be a kusarigama.

"Um... Mulaohu... I'm very worried about what you want to do with that really... really... big... weapon."

The Chongqing charged forwards and swung at the rabbit with her sword. Li I hopped over the blade, before landing clean on it's flat side. He was unsurprised that he could stand on it rather easily. Well, he could up until Mulaohu didn't use the sword to catapult him high into the air. Not missing a beat Li I shot a few darts down at the dog in question, only for her to block them with the flat of her massive blade. She then swung wide with the boulder and scythe, obliterating the walls of wood and any traps that might have been hidden inside them. Kunjingle caught the wrecking ball as it came towards him, and was almost stunned by how heavy it was. But being no slacker himself when it came to brute strength, he twisted his form, so that the ball became the anchor to the chain. Mulaohu was hurled into the wall of what had been another alleyway. She then tugged sharply, dragging the boulder out of Kunjingle's grip and performing a spin. The spin sent the humongous scythe crashing into the side of Kunjingle's form. Although the bear tensed in time to not get cut in half, the force of the blow was enough to knock him off his feet, and into another wall, which soon got a large round hole.

"You dented it!" She gasped in shock as the thick metal now had an odd shaped dent in the center of the blade. Discarding the kusarigama she proceeded to charge forwards with just her sword. Before she could reach Kunjingle's rising form she was tripped up by a rope held taut by Li I and Li II.

 _"I can't believe she fell for that!"_ Chaonao guffawed. He stopped laughing at the look Tianqi was giving him. _"I mean... damn those twins are cheating! Boooooooooooo!"_

The Lis had tried to tie her legs together, but each received a kick to the face once they got too near. Mulaohu got up, and found that her sword had gotten out of reach. Presently Kunjingle was lifting it, with only the tiniest hint of effort.

"So that's how you want to play?" She selected her hammer this time. It was about the same size as Master Flying Rhino's legendary one. Only it's head was far, far, _far_ larger.

Kunjingle frowned.

Li I and Li II each drew their fans, and then all were going for one another. Kunjingle took the hammer blow to the stomach. The head bounced off his belly and into Li II's face when the rabbit had been going in for a sneak attack. Mulaohu lifted it again, and Kunjingle dropped the sword, before catching it's head before it could be brought down. They stood there, locked in a small struggle for the hammer, each grunting in exertion. Kunjingle had never met someone nearly as strong as him, and neither had Mulaohu. Sure Tianqi was a Kung Fu master, but his strengths did not truly lie in full on muscle-power.

The lock was ended when Li II kicked at Mulaohu's legs from behind her, and Li I landed a kick to her unprotected nose. Mulaohu fell on her back, and the hammer fell to the sand an inch away from Kunjingle's toes.

"Wait a minute! If that rabbit is allowed to summon a warrior then surely Mulaohu has the same right?"

 _"Well yeah, if she could duplicate herself. But that'd be boring, nobody wants to see people using the same technique over and over again."_

"MULAOHU! THROW ME YOUR SPEAR!" The dog got up swiftly, rolled towards her spear, which was three times taller than she was, and hurled it at her master, who deftly caught it in his hoof, the blade hanging precariously close to Chaonao's throat.

 _"Okay! Yeah she can summon you! Why not? I mean we can bend a few rules, right Badr? SQUAWK!"_

Tianqi jumped into the air with a gust of wind. He poised the spear so that it hit the ground tip-first, and used it to launch himself towards where the fight was going on. He landed next to his student, and both at once assumed matching stances.

"Oh great now we're fighting a Kung Fu Master!" Li I said, with excitement. Then he realized the truth of what he had said. "Why are _we_ fighting a Kung Fu Master?!"

Kunjingle mumbled something, clicked his tongue and made a popping noise. Then the bear entered his stance, with the Lis assuming their own on either side of him.

* * *

 _Footnote: Just thought I'd jump right into the action. I like these kind of 'funny' fights. Now the story Li I was telling is a kind of teaser for another story (I have too many) I have planned called Suna's Orphanage. It'll mostly be about Li I and the many, many, many, many, many misadventures he gets himself into. For those of you that remember Journey to Japan's prequel chapters, it's that, but more of them. The pack of wolves is also a nod to a fight I wrote back in the original House of Tamod in the Second Task where Li I and Kunjingle fight a pack of Feral Wolves.  
_

 _Notes over, Enjoy._


	33. A Bit Of Unfair Combat

Saras was, like Li I, questioning the unfairness of life. Not because he was dealing with a double team of student and master- no because he was dealing with Lang. Or rather was running from Lang.

He took a sharp turn to the left of the maze, only for a meteor hammer to fling him back the way he came. Lang avoided the hammer, but was going too quick to stop, and when he did Saras had turned tails and was fleeing in the opposite direction. Suppressing a growl the red panda continued to pursue him.

The shapeshifter went right, ducked a flying axe, hopped over a sharp wire and scrambled up the wall so that he was in another alleyway by the time Lang had caught the flying axe and used it to slice the sharp wire in two.

 _"You know, I feel like I should have told you guys what the riddles meant from the very beginning! This is like a really intense game of tag!"_

Saras landed and in a moment of indecision looked left and right, unsure which direction to take. This indecision was brought to a swift end when Lang punched through the wooden wall a moment later. He chose left and narrowly avoided his tail getting caught on fire, then waded through thick water that reached up till his knees. Then he felt something, or lots of tiny somethings biting at his legs, and screaming, found his speed doubled. As soon as he was clear of the water the piranhas released themselves, slightly disappointed the fox had not stayed a bit longer. Lang punched the flamethrower into the wall, before skipping around the piranha-infested waters.

The shapeshifter found himself at a dead end. An unusually tall wall found itself blocking his path. Normally in a maze one would retrace their steps, but fear was a great motivator to thinking outside the box. He teleported to the top of the wall and was about to hop off when he saw that the corridor he had picked was lined with hundreds of sharp weapons, their metal edges gleaming hungrily for blood. Then he glanced back briefly and saw that Lang had caught up to him. Eyes widening, he jumped off without a second thought.

 _"And Master Shifty has gone for the Suicide Route! Wow! I'm actually really glad someone did that, that bit sure took a lot of hard work! And Lang is going for it as well! I'm touched you guys, really!"_

* * *

Dianbo passed through an extremely scorched section of the maze, where ashes and charred wood was all that remained of the once booby-trapped hallway. _It must have been the babirusa..._ Still at least that meant it was safe for him to cross.

* * *

"Mulaohu... Flying Windmill Maneuver!"

"Yes Master!" The dog grabbed her master and flung him into the air. She then charged forwards, swinging for Kunjingle. The bear tensed, and felt the fist crash into his stomach. Mulaohu pulled free, shaking her paw in the air. "What have you been eating?!" Kunjingle meanwhile was staring in bewilderment at a large purple bruise she had left on his belly.

He opened his mouth to communicate, only for Tianqi to drop down on him with a powerful kick to the head. Kunjingle caught his next kick in shaking paws. Never before had he fought anything as challenging as this!

"Take this!" Li I and Li II hopped over the bear's shoulders, each landing a direct hit to Tianqi's chin, knocking him back several feet.

"Master!" Growling in rage, Mulaohu swung forwards. Her fist connected heavily with Li II's stomach and sent him flying through a rabbit-shaped hole in the wall. Li I bent over, holding his own stomach.

"Owch... I think I broke something..." He had no more time to think, as the chongqing came forwards again with a mighty stomp he only just managed to hop away from. Kunjingle caught Mulaohu by the side of her head. Swiftly he brought her head down into his stomach and watched in satisfaction as she was bounced backwards through the maze.

Tianqi was upon them again. Now he was swinging a pair of dao swords around him in a blur of sharp steel.

"Er... Kunjingle... do we have any maneuvers?"

The bear responded by making a popping noise, clicking his tongue, stomping his foot, and catching Mulaohu's hammer before it could flatten the rabbit like a pancake.

"You're right. We should really come up with some stuff." Li I flattened his ears as a gust of sharp wind sailed over them. He hopped into the air and shot several darts in Tianqi's direction, only to get nailed by a second, stronger gust of wind.

Kunjingle wrenched the hammer free from Mulaohu's paws, and threw it a fair distance away. He then tensed as both student and master went in for a roundhouse kick to either side of him.

"What have you been eating?!" Howled Tianqi as he rubbed his hoof, which had been unfortunate enough to make direct contact with his stomach.

Kunjingle did not answer, as he was busy blocking Mulaohu's non-stop barrage of punches. Each one sent a wave of shock, something akin to a shiver, through his bones. She came at him with a pair of swings, and left her chest vulnerable. Kunjingle struck forwards, the flat of his paws caught her hard, knocking the wind out of her and shoving her backwards into the sand.

"Behind you Jingles!" Yelled the rabbit, leaping forwards to block one of Tianqi's dao swords with his now-closed fan. He hopped forwards, kicking one hoof so that it's grip on the dao lessened. In rapid succession he opened and closed the fan in front of Tianqi's eyes, gradually nudging the horse's head back until it was staring directly at the sun. Or it should have been, but Tianqi was smart enough to close his eyes.

He smiled lightly, and caught the rabbit by the back of the neck. Then opened his eyes and leapt upwards, Li I still in tow.

* * *

Ba watched his target walk forwards cautiously. There he was... The spider thought back towards what he knew about the bandaged one. He had demonstrated excellent skill at copying the peacock's sword fighting, and he had shown off an impressive array of unique ways to use what could only be described as 'bone manipulation'. Ba frowned. Wugu had described him as 'creepy'... but Ba was 'creepy' as far as everyone else knew.

He watched as Naan stopped just before his trap. The silk was invisible to the naked eye, and he had deliberately placed it so that the sun would not glimmer against it. A sharp bone shot out of Naan's bandages, and a moment later the silk was sliced clean off the walls.

Ba's eyes (all eight of them) widened in surprise. Then to his surprise Naan was...singing? Somehow it made him all the more creepy.

 _"This isn't a musical production! SQUAWK!"_

"Incy wincy spider climbed up along the maze... down came the nian and washed the spider out-"

Hong Ze could be heard from the stands, screaming that 'maze' and 'out' did not rhyme in any way, shape or form.

"Come out spider... we both know why we're here." Naan said calmly, the bone sliding back amongst his bandages.

Ba clambered over the wall and landed behind him. He threw the cloak off, his eyes narrowed in concentration. Without hesitation all six swords were freed.

 _"In a battle of what is probably your biggest pair of nightmares, we are all left wondering-who will come out on top? Do we even want either of them to come back on top? I don't know, but I can tell that-oh wow they've already started fighting!"_

Ba darted forwards, all six blades whirling around him like a windmill. The sharp spines of bone shot out of the Nian's arms, and with them he blocked one pair of swords. Another pair he caught with small ridges of bone along his legs, and the third pair went right through him.

 _"You know, maybe if you had waited till I told you two to start you wouldn't have gotten yourself im-what?! I think Ba has just killed someone! SQUAWK!"_

Ba did as well, and slid the blades back into their wooden handles and out of Naan's form. "That was surprisingly easy."

"What was?" Naan asked, his eyes alight with laughter. Before the spider could react he delivered a powerful uppercut to the spider, which knocked him high into the air, and into Ji Rou's fly-kick. Ba skidded to a halt in the sand, and let his blades expand in time to block more a pair of shuriken Naan had thrown at him-three grotesque spines of yellowed bone. He had to remain in the defensive, because Ji Rou was upon him a moment later, wielding what was a very long needle. He parried her first jab, and swung with five blades for her entire form, only for Naan to step forwards and take all the blows on a back that was coated in thick slabs of bone. He followed up with a punch that sent spit flying out the spider's mouth, and Ji Rou threw in a kick to the head.

 _"And the gang of ninjas are ganging up on Ba! Well that's what you get for taking out one of their comrades! Should have thought about that before you went and won your match!"_

Ba skidded to a halt, but did not loose a moment. Spitting thick webbing at one wall he expanded it so that there was a thick rope of white between both walls, and between him and his opponents.

 _"And that accomplishes absolutely nothing!"_

Ba then let them come forwards. He had a plan... Which he had to abandon when the black fox threw a smoke bomb into the sand in front of him, temporarily blinding him. He swung madly in a wide circle around him, but caught nothing. Then with a grunt of surprise and pain he fell forwards as Ji Rou kicked him from behind. He rolled to the side to avoid getting hit by another kick, and spat out webbing. The smoke was clearing and he could see that he had caught the fox-only for Naan to bring a blunt piece of bone sharply to his legs. Ba fell over once more, and blocked a downwards stroke of bone blades. Focusing his strength, he brought his legs up to deliver a powerful kick to his opponent's chest, kicking Naan away. Ba rose swiftly, and blocked an incoming jab. He swung at Ji Rou, who backed away, parrying two blades at once with her needle. She was faster than him, he knew, but he was stronger and had more swords. If it was a fair fight... that didn't matter.

It wasn't a fair fight.

Naan came from behind, and Ba only just parried his attack and Ji Rou's. What he was unable to parry was Ji Rou's sudden kick to his side. Grunting he pushed them both off. He shot a gob of web at Naan, which caught the Nian on the arm and pinned it to the wall. Ba went for the fox, only to find that she was pulling free a glass bottle. He dived forwards, and was surprised when she did so as well. Ji Rou smashed the bottle into the side of his head. The glass broke and released it's contents. Ba screamed.

 _"I guess that's probably some herbal mixture and all, but wouldn't it be funny if she actually brought a bottle of sake to use in a fight? SQUAWK!"_

His scream was cut short when Naan punched the side of his face with an arm studded with minute pieces of flat bone. Ba fell to the sand dazed. He tried to get up, but felt the wind knocked out of him as both triads simultaneously raised their feet and brought it swiftly down onto his back.

 _"Haha! Squashed like a bug!"_

Naan clicked his neck and let the bones slide back into his bandages. Ji Rou stomped her foot impatiently.

"You're welcome." She said flatly.

"Your help was appreciated." He said equally flatly. "I had it sorted."

She rolled her eyes, but let a smile reach her anyways, not that it showed under her mask. "Like I was going to let you beat him up all by yourself after what he did to Hong Ze."

Naan grinned under his guise. "If you want I can help you with your one..." He indicated the spider. "He won't be going anywhere anytime soon."

Ji Rou shook her head. "Just get yourself going. I can look after myself."

They bowed to each other, then Naan took the spider and dragged him away. Meanwhile Ji Rou studied her own riddle... There was only one person who it could be...

* * *

 _Footnote: Naan and Ji Rou Vs Ba was a fight I was quite looking forwards to. I love writing Naan in general. He's so creepy, but at the same time has this kind of nice, childish charisma to him. It's a weird combination and I like him. Ironically I also like writing Ba, but not enough to give him a win. Though it's only one-sided because it's a two on one. Naan, Ji Rou and Ba are all pretty high on the 'strength' chart (well at least among my characters), but unfortunately for Ba the triads excel in teams. I think one improvement in this fic compared to the original is that I know all the characters who are going to be in it, and while Hong Ze, Ji Rou and Naan aren't getting shoved into leading roles, I can find space to bring them out and 'introduce' them. (Technically it's an introduction since this takes place before Between Brothers...)  
_

 _Lang and Saras was a fight from the original, and rest assured it will still be here, but at the same time I wanted to make some slight changes. Saras isn't the bravest of characters, and running from someone he knows is stronger than him is quite in character._

 _As for Li I and Kunjingle... well both are somewhat out of their league. Li I moreso. Though I do plan on tipping the balance up a bit... I was tempted to make Kunjingle scream after Mulaohu's punch bruises him, but that came a little close to Dun vs Lao Pi, so I just had him get surprised by it (I think it's more like him anyways)._

 _Sigh... shout out time..._

 _For League of Legends Players (or people who wanna read some quite cute/dramatic stuff between yordles (ahem little furry people):_

 _Tales of Bandle City by Candlestic (it's a series though and quite long, so beware)_

 _For the Redwallers:_

 _The Broken Horde by Escaper:_

 _It's a story that has started fairly recently, so I can't guarantee quality (I mean the first chapters not bad but still... you never know with fanfics) but I guess the author's nice enough._

 _Weaves of Destiny by Divebomber (I think that's his username... not gonna check now)_

 _Quite a looooooooooong story, so also beware, and unfinished (but it's still getting worked on... slowly). But a very good fic and a strong source of inspiration for Black and White (but not very similar, if you get me)._

 _Greek Mythology: Well I haven't found anything fantastic so erm... let's say Percy Jackson_

 _Kung Fu Panda: Yeah nothing new has caught my interest yet so yeah... (This is assuming that most of my readers are already familiar/have read my previous shout outs._

 _I like giving shout-outs and all... but I think I'm going to have to change the way I do it... who even remembers what happened this chapter? XD_

 _Enjoy!_


	34. The Wolf and the Crane

"Stop running!" Barked Lang, as he flattened his ears just in time to avoid them getting sliced off by an axe.

In truth neither of them were running-it would be suicide to run through the Suicide Route. It was uncannily quiet, with walls so high that they could not hear the crowd's (or Chaonao's) noise. Every inch was trapped in some way, and every step had to be taken slowly. What they were doing was tip-toeing _very slowly_ across the sand in an effort to stay away from or catch up with the other, respectively.

"No thanks." Saras replied, shifting into a mouse to avoid getting trisected by a trio of razor wires.

Lang growled in annoyance as he hopped over a spike that launched itself out of the ground in front of him. "You're not making this easy."

"Wasn't trying to." Before he could step further Lang's spear was jabbed at him. Saras twisted to the side, the spear missed, and an axe buried itself into the maze atop his head. "Chaonao's fond of axes, isn't he?"

* * *

"Finally!" Shouted Wong. "Now that I am releathed I can finith you!" The crocodile had, after much effort, extricated his legs from the odd belt-contraption-thing and now stood towering

"I don't bink do Wong-ama!" Han Guan brought his knee up, Wong dodged and turned round, laying him flat on the ground with his tail. Wong then slapped the tail down heavily on his chest. The wolverine groaned in pain, but caught the next swing as it came down. He wriggled to his feet, ducking the tail that went for his head, and getting nailed in the chin by one of the red gloves. Wong swung at him again, Han Guan blocked, and went in with an elbow to the chest. A clean slice of blood appeared on the crocodile, where metal claws had cut through scale. "I am Han Guan! I do bot get befeated by you! I will restore honor do my clan by winning dis tournament and defeating you!"

Wong wiped the blood off his chest and ripped a red glove from the wall, whirling it round as if it were a mace. "I am Wong. I will thee you thuffer for giving me a lithp. I am thtronger than you and I thall win dis tournament and thow off my thtrength by thlapping you thilly!"

 _"Hahahahahaha! Watching you two speak is so entertaining! Isn't it Badr? Isn't it funny to watch them talk like that?"_

Han Guan jumped backwards to avoid the mace, then pressed himself against the wall to not get clobbered by the tail. "Whobever you are! Whabever you hab done! Surrender bow or I shall show do no bercy!"

"Whobever I am?! Didn't you jutht hear me thay it? I am Wong the Unthtoppable!"Han Guan sliced the glove clean in two with a single movement of his claws. Wong's weapon fell stupidly to the sand.

"Hahahaha! Nod so unstodable now!" He was promptly punched in the stomach.

"More unthtopabble than you will ever be!" The crocodile grabbed him by the head, and brought the wolverine's face into the wall. Han Guan hissed in pain, before bringing his foot down over Wong's, turning and kneeing the crocodile between the legs.

"Dat's for by cousin!" Han brought one elbow into the side of Wong's face, opening up another gash, he repeated this motion on the other side of the crocodile's face.

"Your couthin?"

"Shizu Guan." The crocodile cocked his head to the side. He knew who Han was talking about, but it had been a very painful day so far, so his memory was probably not the best. "You cribbled him remember!" The wolverine's foot was stamping impatiently on the sand.

Then Wong burst out laughing. "No you hurt your couthin! You were too thcared to follow! Cowardly Han! Thameful Han! Bathtard! Hahahahahaha!"

"Say dat one bore time!" Han Guan threatened, pulling Wong down to eye level.

"Coward! Thameful! Bathtard! Bathtard! Bathtard! Bathtard! Bathtard! Hahahahaha-Urk!" Han Guan slapped him hard across the face, then jabbed forwards with his claws. Wong stumbled backwards, clutching a bleeding stomach. The wolverine then came with a swing to the face. A tooth fell out of the crocodile's mouth. Before Wong could react, a red glove punched him, and he bent over, groaning in pain. Han brought the claws in his elbow pads in and finished him off with a double elbow strike to the back of the head. Wong fell to the ground at his feet, out for the count.

"I did it! I beat hi-" A red glove punched him in the stomach and Han Guan slid to the floor, groaning in pain. "Can absoludely noding good habben fur crying oud loud?"

* * *

Saras froze as the ground beneath him turned in a full circle. Lang was within hitting distance, and frowning at him. Running would only be a waste of energy, especially considering his only way forwards was to somehow take out Lang.

"So yeah Lang. I was thinking we could talk about this you know? We talk about our motives, about why we're here and all that, then we decide which one of us has got the better reason to proceed."

Lang raised an eyebrow. "So after you made me chase you all the way through this trap-filled maze you want to _talk_ about this?"

"Well, the running was purely instinct you know, all that flight or fighting stuff." Lang stared at him unphased. "So anyways, I'm here because... er-" Saras was impressed with how quickly he came up with a lie. "Well my brother you see, he's got this illness and my family can't afford to get treatment... so er I win the prize money and he's good."

"Illness? What illness?"

"Oh it's nothing important."

"Maybe I know a guy."

"I think I'll pass."

"You're lying."

"Well-" Lang jabbed with the spear, Saras ducked. "Yes. I am." The shapeshifter jabbed forwards with his paw, only for Lang to grab one of his claws and twist. "Owowowowow!" Saras teleported out of his grip, and narrowly avoided getting skewered by a ten foot iron spear. The red panda hopped over a tall pillar of flame and swung the boulder-bag at his opponent. It missed, but knocked a random mace off course. Saras dodged another jab of the spear, only to get his foot stepped on by Lang. He straightened rapidly after an uppercut, and was dragged down and out of the way of a flying saber. Lang then threw him head-first into an incoming meteor hammer. Saras felt his nose crack like a twig, before he was thrown backwards. Mid-air he morphed into an armadillo, curling up to soften the impact. His leathery back hit the wall and flew forwards, bouncing off the opposite wall like a pinball. Up and down he went, tearing through several traps in the process. Lang was forced to go on the defensive to avoid the numerous lethal shrapnel pieces that came from every angle.

After what felt like forever, Saras came to a halt and uncurled on the floor, panting deeply. He turned back into a fox and got up. Every inch of his back felt like someone had taken a club and beaten him with it. Lang was more or less unscathed, though his spear had been shattered by a boulder that Chaonao had somehow made fall from the sky.

"I don't appreciate you lying to me." Lang growled. "But breaking my spear... you must have a death wish boy!"

"I didn't break your spear! Chaonao did."

"I'll get him after I'm done with you." Then Lang charged and Saras teleported away again. Appearing several feet behind Lang he picked up a pair of kunai from the floor and twirled them around somewhat expertly.

Lang grabbed a dented axe-blade and charged. Saras twisted out of the way of the first blow and swung twice. Lang dodged both and came in with a headbutt. He followed up swiftly with a stomp to the foot and a backhand blow that knocked the fox backwards and into a daze.

Saras shook himself out of it before teleporting again. This time he was directly behind Lang, one kunai pressed to the red panda's throat, the other holding the axe back by the blade. Lang acted quickly and let the axe get pulled out of his paw. He grabbed the kunai around his throat and ripped it free from his opponent's grip, before throwing the fox over him and into the sand. Saras rolled out of the way of one stomp, and turned into a hedgehog in time for the second.

Lang hissed in pain as he pulled away from the shapeshifter. Saras did not give him any respite and tore forwards. In a puff of green he was a hummingbird flying towards his target, and just before impact he twisted and turned into a crane, the sudden growth and momentum of flight sent Lang skidding backwards into a wall. Saras then chose his dragon form and bent backwards. Flames erupted from his mouth and flew towards his opponent. Lang tore off a part of the wall and held it in front of himself, letting the flames blast off harmlessly against the wood.

Saras was panting heavily by the time the sand cleared. His eyes widened in shock as Lang dropped the makeshift-shield into the sand, and stood there, disgruntled but unscathed. He charged forwards, picking up a pole as he went. Saras teleported in a flash of green and Lang turned, hurling the pole behind him. It caught Saras between the eyes and lay him flat on the ground.

"That was starting to get predictable." He grunted, walking forwards. He stooped over to check the dragon's pulse, when it's legs shot up and snapped his head backwards. He then shifted into a mouse. The shapeshifter scrambled to his feet and over another one of the arena walls, while Lang rubbed his nose. The red panda promptly gave chase.

 _"Master Shifty and Lord Lang, after obliterating my very-difficult-to-build Suicide Route have gone to Bouncy Bay! This is going to be a lot of fun, and best of all, it's indestructible! SQUAWK!"_

Bouncy Bay was a large, round area of the maze. Instead of sand they had a bed of water underfoot, and walls of stretched out trampoline fiber. This made it a very fun place for children to play in, but not quite as fun for people trying to escape an angry Lang.

It took Saras two seconds to trip, and by then Lang had already followed him into the hall. The red panda grabbed him by the tail and flung him into the wall. He opened his mouth to say something, only for the mouse to fly into it.

 _"Attempted canibalism or weird kinks? You decide."_

Lang spat out the mouse and hastily wiped at his tongue. Saras desperately shook off the spittle. "Why would you do that?!" They demanded simultaneously. "I didn't do it!"

Then Lang growled. "You're crazy kid! You tried to make me sick!"

"No! You just tried to eat me!"

Snarling, Lang tried to stomp the smaller mammal down. Saras dodged and was promptly catapulted into the air due to the waterbed's motion. He morphed into a crane and planted both legs on Lang's chest, knocking the red panda backwards. Lang was trampolined back at him, but Saras managed to duck in time.

"Ha! Not so funny when you're the one getti-" Lang came from behind him with a double leg kick to the back that propelled Saras forwards. The crane swapped back into a fox and was launched back again, into the trampoline wall. Steadying himself mid-air, he raked his claws across the waterbed and ground to a halt. His natural claws did nothing, but his Talon Claws had torn through the tough fabric of the bed and water burst out.

 _"Can you not destroy everything I've worked so hard on building?"_

Lang steadied himself against the wall as the water spilling out now caused the waterbed to deflate. It was an experience somewhat akin to surfing, though neither of them had ever surfed and were therefore flailing arms and bending forwards and backwards in an attempt to keep balance.

 _"But watching you two do that really weird dance is enough to put a smile back on my face! SQUAWK!"_

Noting the mounting levels of water, Saras turned into a catfish. Grinning, he let the electricity fly out his whiskers and into the water, where the volts shot out towards Lang. The red panda was unable to avoid a direct hit, and the sight of his fur sticking out on end made Saras grin wider, until he noted that all he had really done was make Lang puffier... and angrier. His smile faltered. "So-er, now we're even-" He was promptly kicked across the face. Steadying himself, he swapped back into fox form. Unfortunately this only made him a bigger target to the comically bloated figure. One swing across the face and he was dizzy, by the second he was dazed and after a third he slumped forwards pathetically.

 _"And after an epic battle-made even greater by the wonderful job your delightful host Chaonao (that's me by the way) did here! So if we could all give Chaonao and the rest of this tournament staff a huge round of applause it would be appreciated! SQUAWK!"_

In an even-worse-than-normal temper, Lang grabbed the dazed fox's tail and dragged him. "You are _way_ more trouble than you're worth you know..."

* * *

 _Footnote: Lang Vs Saras was a small yet memorable part of the original, and it seemed normal to keep it here. The fight itself however... wasn't really my best. Writing a good fight scene is made easier if there's either a lot of build-up to it (Climatic fight scenes are usually the ones you have thought up by the time you start writing the story, pivotal fight scenes that move the plot along are also easy to write about because you've also thought them through a little) or the characters/location is something you're good with. Now I have been writing about Saras for a long time now and it gets a bit tiring if every character uses the same move every time they enter a fight, and while he does have so many different combinations, he has also had a lot of fights so writing something new for him is somewhat challenging. So to keep things interesting I invented the Suicide Route (which got taken out rather easily XD) and the even more fun Bouncing Bay. In my opinion this fight has improved a lot from the original, but it's not like I remember that one much anyways. The title remains the same (well actually I swapped the wolf and crane positioning), and for those confused by it Lang's name translate's to wolf whereas Saras' translates to crane (you know because he was originally meant to be a certain character)._

 _I also had a lot of fun with the Wong and Han fight, the accents helped I'll be honest (I've always wanted to write a lisp they're just **th** oooooooooooooo funny). I don't know if I may have overdone it and made it hard to read (hopefully not), but I think it was funny anyways. _

_Enjoy._


	35. The Fox and the Hound

Tianqi shot into the air, dragging Li I up with him. He hurled the rabbit forwards, and brought his leg down on Li's collapsing form so that he went spinning towards earth. It would have been a very bad landing, had Kunjingle not managed to catch him before he hit the ground.

Li I sighed in relief. "Thanks Jingles." Then both ducked Mulaohu's swing. The dog threw in a kick, which Li I hopped away from. "You know, you still haven't explained why you and your master are tag teaming us." Li I flattened himself against a wall to avoid a deadly jab from Tianqi. The horse turned to glare at him.

"Because you hurt the oppressed!" He bellowed, trying to stomp the rabbit.

"I do not!" Li I was temporarily relieved when Kunjingle threw Mulaohu into her master, flinging them both away. "I don't even inflict that much pain! On anyone!"

"Yes you do! I saw you beat up those wolves!" Roared Tianqi, already on his feet.

"Hey, that wasn't me! I told you Flower was the one who-"

Kunjingle facepalmed, clicked his tongue and whistled.

" _Those_ wolves?" Li I turned to see the feral wolves Kunjingle had beaten into submission, all watching the fight eagerly with wagging tails and widened eyes. "You think he's talking about _those_ wolves?"

The bear stomped his foot and clapped his paws against his belly.

"So what if they saw us do it, _they_ don't look very oppressed to me."

Tianqi, however, did not notice the wolves, and charged forwards. He leapt upwards, and twisted mid-air into a fly-kick. Kunjingle caught him by the leg and threw him back at Mulaohu, who ducked. The horse landed on his hooves. Then both charged at once.

"Oh boy these guys are bothered." Li I shot out a wave of darts, which spun towards their approaching opponents. Tianqi jumped into the air and spun like a pivot. He shot forwards like an arrow, the air that swirled around him shooting the darts in every direction. "Like I said. Bothered." Tianqi crashed into Kunjingle, sending both of them through another wall. The rabbit had enough time to scream as Mulaohu's fist crashed down upon him, flinging him through a wall. He failed to crash through it, but was embedded quite firmly into the wood. Mulaohu grabbed one of his legs and promptly swung him into the wall, before throwing him into the sand.

He sat up just as she was coming in for a final blow. "Oh boy..."

Before it connected, however, Mulaohu crashed sideways, courtesy of a kick from the side delivered by Ji Rou.

"Phew!" Li I got to his feet. "Thanks!"

Ji Rou's eyes flicked to him, then back at Mulaohu, who was getting up again. "This is my opponent rabbit. I do not need your assistance."

"You sure about that? I mean she is kind of strong." Before Ji Rou could reply Li I caught sight of Kunjingle hurling Tianqi backwards, only for the horse to shoot back into himself. "Okay, yeah, why not? You can look after yourself." The rabbit then turned and ran towards where Kunjingle and Tianqi had crashed through.

* * *

"So what was your riddle about?" Reidak asked, casually bending backwards to avoid the peacock's massive blade.

"No clue. Something about falling west? I'm not sure but it sounds like something eastern."

"The only thing East of China is Japan." Reidak observed, skipping onto a wall before jumping off it to deliver a kick to Jiao'ao.

"Something Japanese then? What was your one about?" The peacock wheezed, rubbing his chest.

"I don't remember." The tiger said frowning. "I may have accidentally destroyed it yesterday."

Jiao'ao stopped fighting and placed his sword into the sand. "How? Not even Han destroyed his and he's at least a dozen times clumsier than y-"

"Han Guan doesn't cook. I do. I was in the kitchens..."

 _Reidak chopped the pepper effortlessly. It was an Indian variety, famous for allegedly giving it's regular eaters the ability to breathe fire. In the tiger's opinion however that was just bad advertising. It wasn't in the least bit chilli, and he was famous for enhanced senses! His riddle lay open next to him, and he was touched that the tournament staff had provided him with one written for the blind. Dumping the chilli into the saucepan of heated oil he heard the familiar sizzling that was so pleasant to his ears. This soup was something of a specialty of his. It was at once both light and creamy, especially if he could get his paws on quality milk._

"I don't need the recipe. How did you lose your riddle?" Jiao'ao interrupted.

Looking stricken, Reidak frowned, but answered the question anyways. "Oh Chaonao surprised me when he did this maniacal laughter and said something about the riddles meaning other competitors."

Suddenly very interested, Jiao'ao sheathed his blade. "What did he say?"

"Something like _'Hahahahahahaha! Wait till they all realize that what they're actually looking for is each other. Hahahahahahahaha! SQUAWK!'"_

 _"That doesn't sound a thing like me! SQUAWK!"_

"So I don't have to find something! I have to find someone!" Jiao'ao whipped out his riddle. "When the sweat falls west-" His wing shot up to his face. "Someone from Japan, who's name means 'sweat'."

"There's only one Japanese competitor."

"That's my point." The peacock turned sharply and walked away.

Reidak sighed. "Don't worry about me. I'll just find someone who doesn't have a partner."

* * *

Ji Rou frowned behind her mask as her opponent retrieved a truly massive sword. She held her needle in paw, waiting. Mulaohu had proved herself a deadly opponent. She was strong, and an expert fighter... but she must have tired herself out by now.

Mulaohu was grinning, as always. She hadn't seen the fox fight, and her partners had had varying levels of skills. And she had tired herself out quite a bit, but Tianqi could probably handle the monsters that had beaten up the wolves himself. Besides, she should be getting a move on in the proceedings.

Ji Rou made the first move. The vixen dashed forwards. Mulaohu swung and to avoid the deadly blade she dropped into a slide-kick that connected with the dog's legs. The Chongqing fell forwards, but was not quick enough to avoid another kick to the spine. Hissing in pain Mulaohu rolled to the side, effectively dodging a spinning-kick from the fox. Ji Rou jabbed forwards with her needle, and was stunned when the dog grabbed her paw.

Mulaohu's grip was strong enough to break bones, but she wasn't that type of fighter. Instead she punched her in the face and tossed the vulpine into what seemed to be the last remaining wall in that part of the arena. Ji Rou was winded and dizzy on impact, but Mulaohu let her get up and even tossed over her needle.

"Come on, I'm sure you're better than that!" The dog beamed.

 _If I get a few more hits like that I'm through_. She would just have to move faster.

Once more Ji Rou started the offensive, though this time when Mulaohu came in with a backhanded swing of her gigantic blade she deflected it, letting the large sword slide across her long needle, shooting sparks towards the ground. Ji Rou's next move was to drop one of her smoke cylinders, shooting up a cloud of darkness over both combatants. Mulaohu's fist shot forwards in the cloud, but missed entirely. She felt several short stabs of pain as the fox dipped the needle in and out of her flesh. Then she was kicked forwards and landed in the sand.

"That didn't hurt." She groaned, rising to her feet. She was surprised at the fox's new stance. Bright white light shined from her nervous system, blurred by her black clothes. "I think I've heard of this move."

"Excellent, I don't have to waste time explaining how it works." Was the fox's sarcastic response.

 _"I know this move too! It's like a speed buff isn't it? SQUAWK!"_

Ji Rou charged forwards, this time jumping clear over the sword swing. Mid-air she twisted into kick that caught Mulaohu on the nose. Moving faster than the Chongqing could react the vulpine fell to the ground and slammed her foot into the back of her opponent's knees. Mulaohu fell forwards, and was promptly kneed in the ear.

"I'd recommend you stay down." Ji Rou's voice was cold and reserved.

"I don't like recommendations. They're all just, opinions." Mulaohu got back to her feet and cracked her knuckles. Ji Rou jabbed forwards with the needle, dodging the canine's next swing but missing her attack as a result. The fox slammed her foot on the dog's, and swung. Mulaohu fell to the ground, but was back quicker than she should have been, her ridiculously heavy sword held in paw.

"I just need to stall you long enough to get you disqualified, or to wait until my Master shows up to help."

Ji Rou scowled. The dog was right, this was taking far too long. She charged forwards. The dog swung and to avoid the deadly blade the vixen dropped into a slide-kick that connected with the canine's legs. The Chongqing fell forwards, but was not quick enough to avoid another kick to the spine. Grinning in triumph despite the pain Mulaohu rolled to the side, effectively dodging a spinning-kick from the fox. Ji Rou jabbed forwards with her needle, and was stunned when the dog grabbed her paw.

Mulaohu's grip was tougher than iron. The fox tried to pull free, but found that it would come to no avail. She brought her leg into the dog's muzzle. Once, twice, thrice, until finally Mulaohu caught it. The canine's grin widened.

"Everyone has a pattern." She coughed. "Every once in a while they'll repeat a successful attack. Unluckily for them, I remember everything."

 _Shit._ No amount of speed buffs could help Ji Rou avoid the headbutt, nor could they do anything to stop her getting slammed into the ground. Wrapping her leg around the dog's neck and squeezing as tightly as she could she could do nothing but try and hold out until the canine ran out of air. It was a good plan, to try and annoy her as much as possible, to get her to make a hasty attack. _Clever dog..._

In the end Ji Rou's grip slackened first, and the fox fell to the sand, out cold. Mulaohu dropped to her knees, breathing deeply.

Kunjingle bounced past her, before coming to a halt. The bear's paws shot out and caught the multicoloured blur that was Li I. Tianqi walked towards the two.

"I'm coming Master!" Mulaohu shot to her feet, before falling back to the ground.

"No! Stand down Mulaohu. You've already made me proud." The horse turned his glare to his dishevelled opponents. "I'll deal with these two."

* * *

 _Footnote: I'm back, and from now on, I'm focusing on this story. The Five is at a good halfway point so I can continue that at a later date. I'm stuck with Back in The Day: The Tournament, and Black and White and Hercules are still backburners.  
_

 _The Mulaohu, Ji Rou fight took so long to write that I have a lot of later parts of the story already written down. So you can expect semi-frequent updates. I am proud of the fight I came up with, and I hope you like it kajjynegna. The title is courtesy of one of my favourite Disney Movies of all time. And technically Mulaohu isn't a hound and Todd and Copper are both guys BUT I think the title still fits.  
_

 _Update soon._


	36. To Defeat A Master

Lang tossed Saras forwards, where the fox rolled through the sand and ended up collapsed on his stomach with a weak groan. "Done! I did it!" He remarked, almost challengingly.

 _"And in third place! It's everyone's favorite rage ball! Lord Lang!"_

"Third place!?" Lang glared at Naan, who leaned against the wall, his yellow eyes unmoving. Ba stood in a corner looking surlier than ever.

"Don't glare at me. I'm only second." He indicated Babirasu, who sat grinning and eating an apple he'd no doubt been given to look like even more of an asshole. A few feet away, nursing spots of burnt fur, was Dianbo.

Saras, his tail no longer in Lang's vice-like grip, sat against the wall, rubbing at the many hurt places on his form, trying to ward off growing disappointment.

* * *

"Han?" The wolverine was sporting red facial-paint, a black eye, bent claws and a limp. The peacock only recognized him for the length of his claws.

"Oh Jiao'ao hab are you?" He was also sporting a speech impairment and several missing teeth. "Bid you hab any luck wid your riddle? I found my danuki, only it bas Bong."

The peacock's eye twitched involuntarily. The wolverine's accent was hard enough on a good day, but was almost incomprehensible now.

"I'm just on my way to the finish line." Said Jiao'ao with unforeseen cunning. "Would you like to come with me."

"Sure. But can you help me carry Bong. He's a bit heavy."

The peacock frowned at the crocodile, and his roommate. Han Guan, for all his odditities, had a strange kind of innocence. It would be easy for Jiao'ao to take him out and drag him out the arena... but that was not the honourable way. With a small sigh he grabbed hold of one of the reptile's legs, while Han adjusted his grip on the other.

 _He's more than a bit heavy..._

* * *

Kunjingle tossed Li I forwards. Mid-air the rabbit shot out a pair of darts Tianqi deflected effortlessly. The horse responded with an air-empowered-double-hoof strike. (A normal double-hoof strike, with the added bonus of catapulting opponents even further!)

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

 _"Here's proof that Kung Fu Masters are good at what they do! In case you needed it!"_

Li I flew past Kunjingle, but found no walls to crash through (the surrounding walls having all been destroyed prior) for a long period of time. When his back finally did become acquainted with a wall it dropped a bucket of water on him.

 _"And here's proof that the tournament staff are also good at what they do!"_

"I'm okay!" Came Li I's muffled cry from behind the bucket. He stood up, walked forwards a few feet, changed direction, and charged right back into the wall. "Ow! Okay, gimme a minute!"

Kunjingle was not listening to him. The bear was busy tanking a blur of kicks and, for lack of a better word, air-shoves the Kung Fu Master was hurling at him. It was difficult work. The kicks hurt less if his muscles were untensed, but the 'air-shoves' went right through his flab and shook his bones. And while not very painful, it was incredibly uncomfortable. And occasionally Tianqi would somehow make the air sharp, and give him a tiny cut, and tensed or untensed the wind still hurt.

Li I was back to his feet, having discarded the bucket. Now dripping wet, the rabbit spied the battle from a distance.

"Right, Kunjingle is the most durable guy I know... and he's loosing this match up." He started tapping his foot against the sand. "Think, think, think. It's two on one, and our opponent uses the wind. And Kung Fu. What can I use against him?" He spotted Mulaohu's ridiculously large hammer. His eyes narrowed. "That'll work!"

Kunjingle tensed, letting the hoof slam into his hardened muscle. Tianqi didn't flinch. The horse jumped high into the air. He then spun downwards with a whistle like an arrow, as Kunjingle braced himself for the inevitable collision. The horse struck his belly, throwing the wind out of him. The bear fell on his rump, while the horse flipped backwards to his feet.

"Stay down! Now you shall be defeated once and for all!"

"I don't think so!" Came Li I's strained voice. Tianqi turned to see him, several feet away, trying and failing to drag his student's gigantic weapon. "Gimme one second and this'll be all over your hooves!"

 _"I think you'll need more than one second! SQUAWK!"_

After several more seconds of strained breath, Li I dropped to the sand, panting deeply. "Really? I think I shall turn this into an idiom. Do not try to lift hammers larger than yourself."

"I failed on purpose!" Li I shot back. "Look behind you."

Kunjingle threw his paws around the horse and squeezed as tightly as he could. Tianqi squirmed frantically, his arms pinned to his side.

This was his worst nightmare. All over his front he could feel the bear's fur, flab and muscle. Around him he could feel the strong squeeze of Kunjingle's arms. He was being touched, he hated, he hated it, he hated it. He needed to burst free. To escape.

"Get off of me!"

 _"In an unforseen turn of events Kunjingle has caught Tianqi in a bear hug!"_

Tianqi brought his legs up to get momentum, only to swing them back down into the bear's knees. The larger mammal tensed and took the blow like it was nothing.

"Let! GO!"

 _"I don't even know how they know Master Tianqi hates physical contact, but this is the perfect way to take him down! Great job for figuring it out guys!"_

"Your weakness is physical contact?" Li I sounded incredulous. "Why would you become a master in an art of combat if you hate getting touched?"

Kunjingle barked, grunted, and held onto the thrashing equine as hard as he could.

"Oh, yes help! One second!" Placing both paws firmly on the handle of the hammer the rabbit gave a tug. Then he pulled with all his weight. Then he was running in place, his paws glued to the handle. Then he took several deep breaths.

The bear gave a shrill whistle.

"That's a good idea! But I have a better one." The bunny closed the gap between himself and his opponent very quickly. "So you don't like being touched, well this must be hell for you. Just imagine, all that fur and fat and sweat, all sticking to your body-"

"I am _not_ a hygene freak! To jump to conclusions is to jump off a cliff."

"Oooookay, yeah Jingles lets go with your plan." Li I assumed a battle stance. "Let's play, pin the foot to the horse! Hiya!" Li I's foot connected, unfortunately, with the horse's hoof. He was left hopping in place, cradling his poor, poor toes.

"Oh I am so over this." Bending forwards suddenly, Tianqi's hooves managed to touch the sand. With decades of skill and practice behind this maneuver Tianqi kicked off the ground, bringing the bear several feet up into the air with him.

He had perfected this trick as an easy way of escaping an opponent's grip. He had practiced on mercenaries, bandits, other masters and sometimes his students whenever they dared challenge him to a sparring match. None of those could compare in weight to Kunjingle. While the technique was meant to take him high, high up into the air, where Tianqi had a massive advantage, this one failed to do so.

He was then supposed to beat up his stunned opponent and throw them down, down, down into the ground, before he came crashing down on top of them. This was not possible when his opponent was as strong as Kunjingle or Mulaohu. But, with Mulaohu he had plenty of falling time to get on top... whereas with Kunjingle, he didn't.

The two crashed into the sand, throwing up a small cloud of sand.

 _"See! Great organization skills right there! The sand only does that for dramatic, tension-creating effect! SQUAWK!"_

Kunjingle rolled off his groaning opponent, lying weakly on the sand besides the downed Master.

"Yes Kunjingle! We did it! We did it! We won! We won!" The rabbit rushed forwards, only to collapse next to the bear. "Man, I'm beat."

 _"Yes you have been!"_

"What?"

* * *

 _"There you have it folks! The final line-up! With Jiao'ao and Han Guan bringing up the rear."_

Saras sighed while massaging his poor tail. Now he was out of the running. Perhaps he could work that to his advantage and find wherever Babirasu had hidden the crystal, but somehow he doubted it would be easier now.

"Just to remind you all of everyone that going forwards! Babirasu, Dianbo, Naan, Ba, Lang, Saras-"

"Wait what? But I lost?" He blurted out.

 _"You advance with the object of your riddles, so regardless who won the actual fight you still got through!"_

"So you're telling me that I could have just followed Lang out the door?"

 _"Yup! But don't be too hard on yourself, your fighting back made it more fun! SQUAWK!"_

"Not for me!" Saras snapped back, surprised at how angry he was that he had managed to proceed.

 _"You're not the one meant to have fun here!"_

The fox growled. His was not the only angry voice. Naan was glaring at Ba, who he had tried to take out of the running, and was now pleasantly surprised that he had scored a win. Dianbo, judging from the burns, had done as the fox had and had fought to the bitter end. Han Guan looked like he had gotten a severe beating, but was grinning toothily (or as toothily as he could considering he had lost quite a few teeth). Jiao'ao was unscathed and looked a bit bored. Reidak and Wugu didn't look like they had done much either.

It was then that Saras realized who had not managed to proceed. Li I and Kunjingle were not among the winners...

* * *

"Kunjingle?" Asked Li I.

The bear clicked his claws together.

"Yeah, I think we lost..."

The bear sat up weakly, and gently patted the rabbit on the head.

"I guess my dad won't hear his son won an epic Kung Fu Tournament." The bunny's disappointment was palpable.

Kunjingle did not know what to say to that, but continued stroking him.

Suddenly the rabbit's ears shot up. "He'll just hear that we took down a frickin' Kung Fu Master together! Like how cool is that!? We can even exaggerate a little bit and make it like we won easily!"

* * *

 _Footnote: Thus end the Third Task! I think this one is definitely the most fun one so far, but the remaining three mini-arcs are all something worth reading so stay tuned! Now I may have rushed some points of this Task along, for example Dianbo vs Babirasu and Reidak and Wugu. etc, but I don't think those were really necessary for this fic._

 _Tianqi and Mulaohu still have some things left to do in this story and will appear again in another story... coming soon._

 _So now we may proceed to the next mini-arc, which I daresay, may surpass this one. Since I'm technically ahead and don't want to spam updates, I'll just leave this little request here, which you may or may not know for what it is needed..._

 _I need six songs, any song (literally any song), and I need six in total. (If you want it for a specific character/set of characters then you should mention that). Yall can send your opinions, if I get more than six I'll either pick my favorites or use as many of them as I want/need. Any song, any genre, any time-period. It can be as crazy as you like, though I will add a rule that since this isn't an M rated fic I'd rather not have many shall we say R-Rated tunes (a bit of swearing is fine, but if the whole song is essentially **** **** ***** ****** ***** it's a no go).  
_

 _Enjoy!_


	37. Mr Singh

After the 'excitement' of the third task, it was almost a relief to be able to do nothing at Safi's place. And it was not quite as boring as it had been before. Lang was always upstairs, in case Cin Lin showed up again. The red panda insisted that she would, but Saras had some doubts about that. She had been beaten back twice, and most assassins gave up after that. He didn't know much about the Order of the Owl, but he doubted they were any different. If she kept failing then eventually someone would hear about it, and reputation was everything in the Underworld.

But Lang was not the only one who had come over to 'protect' him. Despite being taken out of the running, Li I and Kunjingle (and he supposed Li II) were all staying to see who would proceed forwards. Han Guan was growing his teeth back and brought his pack of Battai everywhere with him, so most of their days were spent in the crazy cat's diner, wiling away the hours with round after round of the game.

Now that he was playing regularly, Kunjingle had found himself reigning champion and Saras had long since lost hope of ever winning another round. Every round brought the same outcome, with Li I or Han Guan eliminating the other, then eliminating Saras himself, despite trying to beat Kunjingle, then finally loosing to the bear, who would then reshuffle and act like victory was no big thing.

Back at the Bat Cave there had been very little fun and games... of course there was sparring and the like, but usually it was just him and Shan Qu going on a mission. As crazy as some of his missions ended up being, he could hardly call them fun. He would do the majority of the work and Shan Qu would help and fun was rarely considered. He frowned. When he got back he would bring the game with him. It would take all of two seconds for the fruit bat to get hooked. He opened his mouth to ask where he could get a good set of cards when he noticed something lying on the corner of the bar. The strange lizard-skull shaped necklace he had thrown away a task ago. He glared at it.

"Shifty, your move."

"Oh right, sorry." He pried his eyes away from the necklace and without pausing for thought, placed a card on the table. No doubt Safi or one of her friends had picked it up.

Han Guan raised an eyebrow while Li I snickered. "Why would you put the Elephant of Clubs? Everyone knows the Mouse beats the Elephant."

"Oh, er-sorry. I got-" The necklace was no longer in the corner, but rather a foot away from it. "...Distracted."

Kunjingle put down the Skunk of Diamonds. Li I protested that it wasn't fair, Han Guan frowned and the bear took all the cards.

"You! What are you doing!?" Safi yelled all of a sudden, emerging from the stage. They had a 'big' performance coming up and spent most of their days and nights rehearsing.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Was Saras' immediate response. He scowled, trust Safi to ruin a game.

"He's entertaining your customers." Came Dianbo's voice, and everyone jumped, for no one had seen him come in. The jackal was holding a single flower, which he held out to Safi. "I am looking forwards to your performance. May I add that you look very good today."

Safi took the flower and tossed it over her shoulder nonchalantly. "You don't get a front row seat unless you pay for it honey. Try better next time." And with that she turned and walked away.

Dianbo sighed despairingly and took a seat at the table, that was when he noticed all the looks he was getting.

"What?" He asked awkwardly.

"What is wrong with you?" Li I asked.

"What do you mean what's wrong with me?"

Kunjingle drummed his stomach and smacked his ear.

"I don't care if it's mean! Dude she don't deserve a man like you."

Dianbo blinked. Saras found himself hypnotized by the endlessly-twitching eye. "Oh, that's what you mean..."

Li I put a paw on his shoulder. "Somewhere out in the world there's a nice jackal er-or cat, whatever you're into, waiting for Dianbo to give them a flower. Somewhere nearby there's a venomous snake waiting for Li I to throw a pile of dung at her."

"She's not venomous," Dianbo objected.

Li I frowned, but it was Han Guan who gave the answer. "Well... she did kind of force Shifty into working for her... then she kind of insulted me and said that I should take my dirty fur to the other side of China before she called the Imperial Army on me for Illegal Immigration." His ears drooped in contemplation. "I can't tell whether or not she was being serious about the last part."

Kunjingle added to the horrors with a long list of whistles and pops and clicks. When he was done Li I was staring expectantly at Dianbo.

"Like I said. She doesn't deserve someone like you."

Saras' eyes drifted back to the counter, where no necklace at all lay this time. The object lay on the floor, grinning up at him. It had definitely moved...

Getting up cautiously, Saras crept over. Subconsciously his muscles were tensing, preparing to strike.

"Guess my cover's blown now isn't it?" Saras jumped into the air, landing in a battle stance on a nearby table, his fur standing on end.

"Who said that?" Asked Li I, turning around in time to see the necklace grin.

"Me of course." The rabbit screamed, and divebombed under the table. Han Guan flipped over the table and took cover behind it, Kunjingle picked up a chair and prepared to throw it at the strange object, while Dianbo scowled at the dark magic clearly at play here.

Safi walked back in and took them all in. "Um... what are you doing?"

"That creepy necklace just talked!" Han Guan explained, his eyes peering over the rim of the table at the object, as if worried it was going to start shooting lasers at him.

Safi felt her brow rising as she scanned the motley group.

"Safi get away." Dianbo warned, freeing his whip. "It is clearly some kind of dark magic. Move to the side. We've got this."

The cat's eyes rolled. "I don't care how good at acting you think you are, you do not have permission to use the stage."

Dianbo balked at her. As soon as she was out of earshot the creepy necklace thing started laughing.

"Oh boy, you guys suck! Getting your tails handed to you by a girl! Hahahaha!"

"She did not hand us our tails." Saras snapped.

"And there's nothing wrong with loosing to a girl." Li I defended, remembering numerous encounters.

"What are you?" Dianbo asked, ready to bring down his whip.

"Oh me? My name is Mr Singh. Host of the Five Tasks of the House of Tamod."

They all shared a look.

"You must be the competitors! I take it we're still at Task One?"

"Four." Dianbo corrected icily.

"Then I take it you're all disqualified?"

Kunjingle gently flexed a muscle.

"Hmmm, maybe not all of you."

"How are you a necklace?" Li I asked, still wary. "Wait... did we all get drunk and are having the same weird vision?"

"Oh the necklace part. Meh two people who don't like each other go into an arena and your job is to pick a winner. One of them may have turned me into a necklace because you know... weird stuff. But it's got it's perks. I'm more or less immortal, I can possess people, I can read minds. Hell I can even see other dimensions! This thing is so cool!"

"I must be drunk." Li I muttered, shaking his head. "But I never get drunk!"

"Aw come on! You're not all scared of me are you? I only want to have a little-"

A large chest fell from the floor above, encasing Mr Singh inside it's thick wooden walls. Lang hopped down and snapped it shut. The red panda took a seat on top of the chest and glared enough to make them all flinch and avoid his gaze.

"Are you all dasted idiots? Don't you people know a demon when you see one?" He crossed his paws over his chest and began muttering darkly.

"Demon? You mean like with horns?"

"Like the things that possess people! You all see a talking necklace and think it's normal? What kind of sicko world do you live in?"

"I am a shapeshifter." Saras pointed out. Talking necklaces... how did that automatically make it a demon?

"And I thought I was drunk."

"You're all idiots." Lang hopped off the chest and kicked it into the corner. "If I have to save any of your tails one more time I swear-" The rest of his rant was cut short by the loud stomps of his feet travelling up the stairs.

"I reckon he's just sore Cin Lin hasn't tried to kill you yet." The rabbit said matter-of factedly.

Saras sat down while Han Guan fixed the table. "Well I'm sorry I don't make a better target."

* * *

Duyao's fist collided heavily with the dummy's face, sending showers of wooden splinters in all directions. If only that could have been Badr's face...

"You called?" Finally! The assassin had come. Cin Lin stood at the doorway, Duyao was unsure whether or not the lynx had seen her last feat. If she had she showed no signs of being impressed.

"Cin Lin." The frog spoke calmly, trying to suppress the monster of hatred that wouldn't stop growing inside her. Badr, it was all Badr. She had come so close to ending him... and the assassin had failed to get rid of her foe's precious fox. "You still haven't dealt with your target?"

"Like I said, he put up a fight and I did not want my cover blown. I never betray the confidentiality of my buyers, but my men are new to this." _In other words Lang saved his tail... twice. Lucky kit._

The grog waved away the excuse. "You have a new target anyways. Safi Tamod. The girl is putting up a show two days from now. Ba will show you the location."

"Why a new target?" The lynx asked.

"Just do as you're told." _Because it will hurt Badr more_. "Don't let her suffer." She added. _It's nothing personal sweet child._

Cin Lin didn't let her frown show. "And what of the fox?"

"Kill him if he gets in the way, or if you find an opportunity." Duyao was only slightly surprised by how quickly the order had come out of her. Badr... Badr... Badr... she was going to make him suffer.

The lynx bowed and left.

Duyao got back to work on obliterating the dummy.

* * *

Wugu couldn't quite fathom where the feeling of dread was coming from. His Mistress had killed before, many, but they had deserved it. They had been the worst of the worst. Murderers and monsters, killers and scum. But as far as he knew Shifty was not a murderer, monster, killer or scum, nor was poor Safi. He blinked. His Mistress was loosing herself. With every kill a part of her hardened, a part of her darkened. With every kill she became more and more of a monster.

The fish shook his head. Badr deserved to die, yes, he knew that. He was a monster and a murderer and scum... but if his Mistress went ahead with her plans then she was no better. He paused in the unknowing. On one fin, he did not want to upset his Mistress, she loved him very much, and he loved her and Ba very much, they were a family after all. But on the other fin he could not let her become the monsters she was always killing.

* * *

 _Footnote: I hope you guys are excited for the next arc. The Musical Chairs. Last time there was a similar thing, but I squeezed it into one or two chapters. Here I have expanded Safi's role, and by extent, it. It's probably going to be one of the funniest things I've ever written.  
_

 _As an aside, even though I have expanded Safi's role, I feel like this fic has got a lot less Wugu and Babirasu than last time. Babirasu I decided to keep in the background for several reasons, Wugu however just seems to be overshadowed... so ahem, yes, time to fix that._

 _Enjoy._


	38. An Unexpected Task

Han Guan yawned widely. In hindsight playing Battai until midnight had not been his best idea. He didn't regret it per say, but he didn't really like waking up and being tired, it kind of ruined the whole point of sleep. Still he'd be better after some breakfast. He hoped.

"Han."

"Oh, hi Wugu-sama." He yawned again. He hated yawning, it made his eyes water and when his eyes watered everyone around generally thought he was crying.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" Asked the fish, noticing the tears.

"Just tired."

"You miss your bed."

"Huh?"

"When you yawn your eyes water because you miss your bed and are sad about it."

The wolverine stared at the fish, eyes wide with awe. "Wow, Wugu-sama... that's actually so true. You should be a doctor!"

The fish smiled briefly, but he hadn't come here to talk about yawning. Suddenly he was a lot more serious. "Han, there's something I need to tell you." The wolverine wasn't the smartest, nor the strongest, but he was the most sincere person Wugu knew. And the fish needed someone he could trust.

* * *

"Kill Safi?" Li I repeated. "I mean she's a bitch and all, but kill is a bit harsh you know. Are you sure about this?"

Han nodded. Han Guan had sworn on all his clan member's graves that the Order of the Owl were after Safi Tamod, and would try to kill her on the night of her show. "He looked pretty spooked by it all." He neglected to mention who 'he' was but Saras had a pretty good idea

 _Poor guy, best friends with Ba and still scared about a potential assassination._ Thought the fox. Of course it had been Wugu. Han had specifically mentioned 'he', 'fish' and 'waving fins'. It didn't take a genius to guess who the wolverine's informer was. _  
_

Han had told Saras, Kunjingle and Li I the news and the quartet were discussing it as quietly as they could. Kunjingle's set of pops, clicks and odd ear-flick-noise-thing brought a frown to the rabbit's face.

"What do you mean 'what do we do about it'? It's obvious what we do about it."

"It is?" If the Order of the Owl wanted Safi dead Saras wasn't going to put his neck on the line trying to save that ungrateful little slimeball. Especially not after they had passed him over as a target.

"It is!" Agreed Lang feverishly, slamming his paw onto the table. "We use this info to set a trap for Cin Lin."

"We save Safi Tamod!" Dianbo exclaimed, just as feverishly, slamming his own fist onto the table and wincing in pain as he did so.

"How did you hear what we were talking about?" Han Guan asked, his eyes wide with wonder.

"You guys talk loud." They said in unison.

"Ah, yeah... we... save her... hehe." Saras ignored the fact that they were now all looking at him. "I just don't think agitating a league of assassins is a good idea. I mean you're more than welcome to do whatever you want." He added to Lang. "But who someone wants to kill isn't really my business."

Han Guan opened his mouth and closed it. He looked very much like he agreed with the fox but after a quick shake of his head he cleared his throat. "My whole life I was told I brought dishonour to my clan... I suppose if I save a damsel in distress then... well... running away would be dishonourable."

"I'm not running away!" Saras protested.

"That's the spirit Han!" Dianbo encouraged. It came as no surprise that he was firmly on the 'let's rescue Safi' team. He gave the wolverine a gentle pat on the back.

"Cin Lin tried to kill you." Lang pointed out. "Don't you want to know who's hiring her?"

"Yeah but I'm not going to die for that kind of information! Besides she's not targeting me now, why should I go and put myself back on her list?"

Kunjingle placed a paw on his head. It was probably meant to be comforting, but irritated him more than anything. He didn't need comforting!

"It's okay to be scared Shifty. But we're not going to do this haphazardly!" Li I grinned. "We're going to have a full-scale battle plan before Safi even performs and that'll be the end of it! If all goes well me and Jingles might even be allowed back in the running."

"I'm not scared!" Saras continued to protest, pulling free of the bear's gentle touch. "Safi's a spoiled little brat who can go drown in a shoe for all I care. I'm not putting my tail anywhere near a poisoned dagger for her of all people!" He was about to walk out on all of them, Battai be damned, when Reidak's voice made him jump.

"What is this talk of poisoned daggers I hear?"

"Oh someone called Cin Lin wants to kill Safi Tamod so we're going to be all heroic and rescue her, but Shifty says he doesn't want to risk his life for it." Li I summarized.

"You're scared?" The tiger asked. "You blew up the Silver Fang estate, antagonizing an entire _clan_ , but you're scared of one assassin?" He sounded incredulous.

"You never told us you blew up a clan!"

Han Guan looked like he was about to say something, and Saras was unsure about how much the wolverine and the tiger actually knew about him, so to prevent having his flimsy cover broken he crossed his paws over his chest and gritted his teeth.

"Fine. I'll do it." _For the record though I didn't blow up the clan._

"That's the spirit!" Dianbo cheered. "Reidak you in?"

The tiger shrugged and took a seat at their table. "I'm in."

Saras felt his ears twitching in annoyance. Why did they even need him for this? Lang and Reidak could probably take out the whole crew between them. He was about to point out that perhaps all he and the others would really be doing was slowing them down, when Han Guan piped up.

The wolverine was not one for bright ideas usually, but Saras had to admire the intellect that had managed to put two and two together. "Why don't we just tell Badr-sama about this? I mean it's his daughter."

"Because Badr won't let me interrogate Cin Lin!" Lang barked as if it was obvious.

"Han's right though." Dianbo pointed out. "Even if we know where and when it's happening Safi will still be there. If she gets caught in the crossfire..." The jackal stopped.

Saras shuddered. "She'll find a way to pin this on us and then we'll all be looking at a lifetime in jail. I say let her die." Dianbo scowled at him and Saras had the grace to go pink.

"What if we told _Safi_?" Li pointed out. "That way you can interrogate Cin Lin and get the answers you want, Safi won't be there and can't get hurt, and we still foil an assassination attempt!"

The others nodded at the rabbit's wisdom, Lang grunted and Dianbo grinned. Saras raised a claw. "Small problem. Who here would Safi actually believe?" He knew for a fact he was not on that list. _She'll just say I'm trying to ruin her big show._

Dianbo opened his mouth and closed it again. Lang growled. "I'll make the little bitch believe!"

"You will not!" The jackal snapped, only to flinch away from the red panda's one-eyed glare.

Kunjingle drummed his claws on the table theatrically.

"But would she _understand_ you buddy?"

"Safi will only listen to someone with reputation behind them. Someone with power who would not have a reason to lie to her. Preferably someone she has also never talked to before. And perhaps someone she finds attractive." Reidak observed, stroking his chin.

"You're describing none of us." Han Guan pointed out miserably.

"What if we kidnapped her before the show and locked her in a cupboard?" Saras suggested with the smallest hint of sadism. After all the endless annoyances-not to mention the 'spa treatment' she had made him go through- he was looking forwards to getting some sweet, sweet revenge.

"Yes! I like that!" Agreed Lang.

"Jiao'ao." Said Reidak suddenly. "We get Jiao'ao to convince her to change the time of her performance."

 _Just when the kidnapper scheme had gotten an approval..._

"And she'll listen to him because?"

"He's a prince. She'll listen to him." Reidak said with confidence.

"I'm a Lord." Muttered Lang. "She can listen to my fist."

Somehow the image of Safi's face getting punched in by Lang was enough to make him drool. "Fine. But if Safi still insists on showing up, we go with my plan."

* * *

"Let me get this straight. Cin Lin wants to kill Safi on the night she runs her first ever dance show, and you want me to 'use my princely charms' to stop her from going?"

"Yup." Grinned Li.

"Don't worry. Me and Lang have an alternative method." Upon giving it more thought the 'kidnap Safi' ploy had truly been a stroke of genius. He would get some payback, save her life and be well out of Cin Lin's way all at once. He was kind of hoping Jiao'ao _didn't_ convince her.

"What's in it for me?" Asked the peacock, taking them all by surprise.

"Well... what do you want?" Han asked.

"Oh no I'll do it. I was just quoting a book I once read." The peacock cleared his throat. "But I doubt my 'princely charms' are going to work. My father disapproves of this family, and that's one of the few things we agree on."

"Just give it a try."

The peacock sighed.

* * *

Saras, Li I, Han Guan and Kunjingle watched from around a corner as Jiao'ao knocked gently on the door of Safi's room.

The cat opened the door wearing her signature frown/scowl/smug look. "What do you w- oh it's you."

Jiao'ao stood tall. "Greetings fair maiden."

Saras gagged, Han went 'aw', Li and Kunjingle snorted with laughter and Safi heard it all.

She raised an eyebrow and peered round the peacock. The four flattened themselves away from her vision, but Jiao'ao expanded his train theatrically so that she wouldn't be able to see past him.

"Your ravishing beauty has lead me to want to make your acquaintance."

Li I couldn't quite stop his fits of giggles, and it took three pairs of paws to silence him.

"Oh, do you, my Lord?" Peacocks were pretty things.

"If it would please you, I would invite you to dinner. Say, tomorrow eveni-"

"Nope, can't do." She said without a second thought. "I'm sorry but something very important to me is happening and I can't miss it for anything in the world."

"Oh? But... surely if I were to-"

"Oh you can come with me, of course, but I won't have much time to talk or better know you. Perhaps another time."

"I-er... I'll have to check my schedule." He said, clearing his throat awkwardly.

She beamed at him. "I'm so glad you understand. It's just this... really does mean a lot to me."

Jiao'ao forced himself to smile while the door swung closed. Then he deflated and turned back to his grim-looking companions. "Well now what do we do?"

* * *

"You couldn't have tried seducing her in a more effective way?" Reidak suggested glumly. "Or you know. Tell her somebody's out to kill her."

Jiao'ao scoffed. "This means the world to her. She's not going to miss it for anything."

"Maybe if you were the emperor." The tiger muttered. Lang didn't mind much that Safi was hellbent on going. He would get his shot at Cin Lin and this time she wouldn't be getting away. Saras though was in a pretty good mood, and had even acquired a large sack.

"Is that really necessary?" Dianbo asked, scowling at the container.

Saras grinned at him. "We wouldn't want Safi to get hurt, now would we?" Perhaps he was taking a little too much joy in this.

"Whether or not Safi goes is irrelevant." Lang growled. "Cin Lin will be there and she'll have her cronies too. Remember your positions!"

"He really was in the Imperial Army at one point." Li muttered.

Han Guan raised a paw. "Er- what are our positions Lang-sama?"

The red panda growled in annoyance and face-palmed. "Were you not listening?"

"Er- I only forgot where I had to go."

Lang tugged at his ears in frustration. Never had he ever had to deal with such a lack-wit! To save the wolverine from what could have been anything from shame to a thousand years of pain Reidak spoke up.

"You have to get backstage into the 'spa' room. Dianbo and me will be upfront. Li I, Kunjingle and Shifty if he doesn't get Safi away from the scene, will be on the upper landing. If the Order of the Owl were to play it smart that's where they'd most likely be. Lang and Jiao'ao will be in the middle of the audience area. It's a small building so if anything goes south shout for help, someone else should hear it."

Dianbo still looked annoyed about something. "Why is Shifty the one in charge of getting her away?"

"Because it was my idea."

"Well maybe there's someone better for the role." The jackal scowled, his eyes darting to the large sack.

"I'm the only one here who's ever kidnapped someone." He snapped before he could stop himself. He looked sheepish a moment later. Tension was building in his chest. No no no! They couldn't know about that! The room was quiet and even Lang gave him an odd glance. "I-it was a baby." He squeaked awkwardly before shaking his head and putting the subject back on track. "Look Dianbo I don't like her, but I promise I won't hurt her."

The jackal kept scowling, but eventually turned away and continued pacing. Saras felt some tension leave his chest. Li I offered a game of Battai, but he said he was tired and curled up under the blanket.

How had he let that slip? He hadn't given the retort a moment of thought, and then it had been out in the air and everyone was looking at him. _Focus, don't let yourself get comfortable around them._ If he let slip about his mission then the whole thing would fall through and this tournament would have been a waste of time. Yei was here, he just had to get his paws on it and then he could... leave? But what about Safi and Cin Lin, and the tournament? He'd made it to the Fourth Task, and what about his Battai buddies? He cringed at the nickname his mind had dubbed them, but it stuck. He was among friends here. Kunjingle, Han Guan, Li I, and even Lang and Jiao'ao and Reidak and Dianbo to some extent... they were all his friends.

 _They_ _can't know. They can never know. They will never know._ He repeated the thought in his head several times over. He would get Yei, without them knowing, they'd go their separate ways and then when Temujin was dead and the Jit Kun were avenged and China was at peace... maybe then he could let himself get comfortable. He sighed and was just about to drift off when Han Guan's uproarious laughter shook him awake.

"YES! Yes! I did it! I beat Kunjingle! Hahahahahahahahaha!"

 _Temujin couldn't die quick enough..._

* * *

Safi ran back to her room, her ears flattened and tears running down her face. Of course someone would try and ruin it. That damn fox was going to try and stop her show. A show she had worked on for months. A show she had put so much effort into. Something that was 'Safi's' not 'the Tamods' or her father's. She had always loved dancing, and she vaguely remembered her father telling her that she would be a wonderful dancer one day, or perhaps that had been her mother. And now it would all crumble apart... all her hard work would be ruined.

Unless... A sudden thought crept into her mind and made her sigh and flop onto her bed in relief. She was rich and wealthy, and money could buy anything hard work couldn't. She just needed to keep those idiots away from her beautiful... beautiful show.


	39. Bird In A Cage

_"Good morning competitors!"_ Almost everyone jumped out of bed in battle stances. Lang had been sleeping curled up with his spear, and was whirling it all around him now. Dianbo had his whip out, Jiao'ao's train was expanded. Han Guan had his claws out in one paw and a set of Battai cards in another, Kunjingle's head burst through the top bunk as he shot to his feet on the lower bed, only for the whole thing to collapse. Saras was clutching a pillow defensively, and Li I was kicking the blanket off of him.

 _"Nice to see you all up and at arms! SQUAWK! Today is a very important day you see. In preparation for the Fourth Task I need you all to accompany me to the arena immediately!"_

None of them dropped their stances.

"But we're not in the Fourth Task?" Li I asked, finally getting the blanket off of him.

 _"Are you sure about that? I'll explain more in the arena! The carts aren't working today so I'm afraid you're going to have to do some walking! SQUAWK!"_ And with that the parrot left.

Dianbo gave the others a look while Reidak gently closed the door. "What are we supposed to do? The assassination is tonight and-"

Li I though was excited about the prospect of maybe, perhaps, not being disqualified. "Exactly! It's _tonight._ We go to the arena, see what's up and then tonight we go and save that obnoxious little brat."

Dianbo shook his head. "I'm not risking it. I don't care about this tournament, Safi's life is at stake here!"

"Relaaaaaaaax! We go there, kick butt, go to the Spa center, kick butt. Win win. It's not like Chaonao's going to lock us in a cage!"

* * *

A thick metal slab slid over the bars with a resounding thud, throwing them into darkness.

"Did he just lock us in a cage?" Li I asked incredulously.

 _"Not just any cage! This thing can house fifty elephants and a Deathworm! You're not even going to put a dent on this!"_

Lang brought his fist between the bars and into the metal wall, denting it.

 _"SQUAWK! Yeesh, you trying to give me a heart attack or what?"_

Dianbo ineffectively did the same. "Chaonao! You have no idea what's going on! Safi's in danger-"

 _"Oh I know what's going on alright! I want you to know that I am ashamed! Totally and completely ashamed! You all know how much this show means to her and you're going to try and ruin it? Really? What are you, ten?"_

"Someone's going to kill her!" Dianbo yelled in desperation.

 _"She already told me you'd say that! Also I'm in show business! Any idiot can tell Cin Lin is a fake name!"_

Almost everyone facepalmed.

"Chaonao!" Dianbo yelled, pounding on the door with all his might, successfully hurting his paw in the process but doing no more.

"Lalalalalalala! Not listening!"

Lang had added quite a few dents to the metal, but it showed no signs of releasing them anytime soon.

Jiao'ao cleared his throat. "Excuse me. I think I have a way out of here. I just need you all to stand out of the way."

Lang grunted. "You aren't going to do more damage than me." Still he backed away and let the avian ready himself.

Jiao'ao expanded his train and opened his wings. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and let his chi flow freely. Blue light seemed to flow out from his tail and wings, enveloping him in a bubble of clear, blue energy. Gradually it grew thicker and brighter, till they were all forced to squint at it. Except Reidak, who didn't have eyes with which to squint. Then Jiao'ao spun and the bubble followed him, till it was spinning rapidly and moving towards the bars and the metal sheet. It gained momentum, moving quicker and quicker, until, as if by magic, it melted straight through the prison and vanished as Jiao'ao came to a halt on the other side, the bubble fading back into him.

Han Guan's jaw hung open, Li I blinked, even Lang looked incredulous.

"That was pretty good." Saras admitted, wide eyes staring at the crater.

Jiao'ao had the grace not to look too smug. "Well, come on."

The group turned to face Chaonao, who's lower beak hung open in wonder. He stiffened and puffed his chest forwards. _"I'm not going to let you go through with your evil plans! SQUAWK!"_

Lang growled and the parrot squawked and raced away. He didn't get much farther than the pole he flew into.

Groaning about his head, Chaonao slid to the floor.

"Right." The red panda said, taking charge. "The kitten has no idea what she's getting herself into. Fox, you know what to do. Our plan stays the same, but we go to her mud-hut one at a time. She knows we're up to something, we need to act like we aren't. Now get moving!"

* * *

It was midday by the time Saras got back to the Palace, in hindsight they should have probably been far more suspicious of Chaonao's invitation. Still, the show would not start until it got dark a few hours later. Safi was onto them, but he'd dealt with worse than a spoilt princess.

It came as a surprise when he found her in his dorm, her back facing away from him. He ground to a silent halt, making absolutely sure she did not notice hair nor hide of him. One swift blow to the back of the head and hopefully she would never know he'd been the one to hit her. He teleported forwards, and brought his fist down on the head with as much force as he dared to muster. He was stunned when he heard loud ringing and felt pain shoot through his paw. The dummy collapsed in front of him with a clang, revealing nothing more than a motley set of pots and pans. He noticed the sandbag too late to avoid it, and a moment later was out cold.

* * *

Han Guan _thought_ nobody noticed him enter the building. He also thought that there would be nobody backstage when he came in. Instead, he was now facing a crocodile so fat she made Wong look like a fitness commercial. Their eyes met and both screamed. The wolverine wasn't quite sure what was worse, the fact that she was half-naked, or that someone brought a pole down on the back of his head.

* * *

Saras woke up a few hours later. His head was sore and throbbing and he thought his nose was broken... again. Shakily he got to his feet, slowly piecing together what had happened. Safi had outsmarted him? How was that even possible? Worse still was the sun's slow fall down the horizon. It would soon be dark, and that meant the assassination was imminent.

"I suppose I've got an excuse for not showing up..." He sighed. "But then Dianbo will murder me in my sleep if she gets so much as a papercut... or Badr... he'd murder me too." Sighing once more and rubbing a head that was sore, Saras made his way to Safi's Place.


	40. The Performance Of A Lifetime

Li I was surprised that anyone had even turned up to see the show. Sure, he'd been expecting the Order of the Owl, who had cleverly ditched their conspicuous cloaks, but it seemed as if most of the village was here as well.

"Hopefully they're not too disappointed by the show, eh Jingles?" The bear was not paying attention to him, and instead was watching the entering crowd nervously from a back window. They had seen Safi come in, looking quite pleased with herself. There had been no sign of Shifty and they had assumed he'd bailed on them. Dianbo had been livid, but had been forced to remain silent and continue with the plan. Lang's tail was twitching in anticipation. He'd get his answers tonight, if that's what he wanted so much. Jiao'ao and Reidak seemed to be having a contest as to who was the most casual of them both. Neither had so much as a droplet of sweat on them, though the peacock was noticeably paler.

Both bear and bunny were hidden inside a room, and Li I had his eye against the keyhole, watching.

Cin Lin was there too, sitting in one of the central tables with the frog-judge from the tournament. The elk was here as well, looking bored, as if he'd been forced into coming.

The curtains opened and there was a shower of applause. A duck, with far too much make-up and a dress that probably weighed a tonne came forwards and welcomed them all to the show. The avian went on for quite some time, but Li's sensitive ears picked up a closer noise.

"No, that part goes into the lock. No not the blunt side you dummy! Hey watch it! Who you trying to shoot!"

"Shush! You're talking too loud!"

Li I beckoned Kunjingle closer and slowly they opened the door. A gorilla was fumbling with what looked like a repeating crossbow that had yet to be assembled fully while a dog was keeping watch, and a running commentary on his partner's lack of expertise.

"I told you to fix it before we got here! But no! If Cin Lin takes us off food for another week because of you I swear I'm going to pop your-"

"Just shut up and keep watch! I'm almost done."

Li turned to his friend. "I thought Lang said they were _professional_ assassins." They certainly didn't look very professional.

Kunjingle shrugged.

Music had begun playing, and Safi was on the stage now.

The door burst open and Li I caught sight of Shifty's bushy tail vanishing under a table. Evidently he hadn't bailed on them! Li I was about to point this out to Kunjingle when he heard the ape speak.

"Okay, it's ready, you're the sharpshooter." The dog hopped on a stool and took the repeating crossbow, letting it lean against the wooden balcony.

"Hehe, easy target."

* * *

Safi could feel the music changing. Any minute now it would come, her time to start singing. She felt her heart swell. So much work had lead up to this moment!

* * *

Saras caught his breath under one of the tables. He'd made it. Cin Lin hadn't made her move yet, there was still time to stop this whole thing.

* * *

The dog took aim, pulled back the string, and felt a sudden sharp pain in his paw as a dart lodged itself into it. He dropped the crossbow, which tumbled down into the tables bellow. It landed on it's head, and the shock set off the trigger, so that fifty bolts were shot into the wood.

* * *

Saras gulped at the sight of fifty crossbow bolts embedding themselves into the table inches from his face. Evidently he had to keep moving.

* * *

"Oi! What gives!" The dog hissed, ripping the dart free and glaring at it's owner. A rabbit stood facing him, flanked by a large bear with a sun pattern on it's chest. "Why aren't you on watch?!" The ape looked apologetic, only for his gaze to turn to steel.

"Just do your job. I'll handle these two." He cracked his knuckles as he advanced forwards, the dog withdrew a blow-dart and tested it lightly.

Kunjingle rolled his eyes and walked forwards. He caught the gorilla's fist in his paw, backhanded the ape into a daze, before tossing him off the balcony, so that he landed on a table below.

* * *

The song was called 'Droplets', and Safi was proud of herself for not flinching when a fan literally dropped onto one of the tables.

"Then another drop." She sang, maintaining composure. She wasn't quite sure who had organized it, but another fan fell at exactly the right time.

* * *

Cin Lin's eyes narrowed as she watched her men hit the tables behind her. So someone was trying to foil her? She gave a curt nod to one of her men on an opposite table, who stood up casually and made his way up the stairs.

"You know Jingles, I think we did quite well so far. I mean. We single-handedly foiled an assassination! We didn't even need Lang!"

A shrill whistle made him turn. The other rooms were opening, and a pair of cloaked assassins stormed out of each one, armed with a crossbow apiece. Smoke billowed from each room, and every bed was alive with flame.

Kunjingle's single clap summarized it quite well.

"So I saw it was falling! And so I said-" Safi sung quite well, Saras was forced to admit.

* * *

"TAKE COVER!" Li I yelled.

* * *

Safi paused for thought, and then the spectacle changed. Almost every table in the audience was flipped over to face her and someone took shelter behind her. Who had done all this behind her back? She liked the choreography, but why hadn't anyone told her?

* * *

"There are a dozen crossbows facing her." Reidak hissed into Dianbo's ear, his enhanced senses detecting the commotion upstairs. "I'll help the rabbit, you get her to safety."

"Take cover! Take cover!" Safi was singing, and Dianbo did not really know how to help her. He acted without thinking and hopped onto the stage.

"Take cover! Take cover!" He repeated, taking her paws in his and turning his back to the audience so that none of the Order had an easy target. Unless they were willing to go through him first, but that gave their position away. And if he died for her perhaps she'd finally realize what a great guy he was!

Safi's delight came to an end when the jackal started dancing in front of her! And singing as well! So he'd been the one to add his 'improvements' to her show, eh? "What are you doing?" She hissed, then louder, she sung. "And we all drop. Like raindrops!"

Two more figures, these ones dressed in cloaks dropped down from above and hit the ground with a groan.

There was a huge burst of applause, but Safi could not see who was giving it, for the jackal was still in her way and before she knew it the curtains were closed.

"What are you doing!?" She demanded. "That was my _solo!_ "

"Safi, listen to me, your life is in danger here. There are people out there who want to kill you." There was a desperate urgency in his voice, but Safi ignored him.

"Yes, I know you're trying to ruin my show, but that does not make it okay!" She ripped her paws from his grip and smacked him across the face.

"Please just li-"

She brought her knee between his legs and watched him fall to the ground with a pained moan. "I'll listen to your pain!" Then she brightened up. The next song was her favourite. She just needed to put the jackal with the other one and then the show would be back on the road.

* * *

Reidak's fist brought one wolf down swiftly. A backwards kick did the same to a lynx and a third sent a lizard stumbling backwards. At least Safi was out of the way, now all they had to do was focus on fighting through this horde.

* * *

Saras got to the stairs at the same time a gorilla did. The ape was not wearing the garb of an assassin, but was watching him too apprehensively to be an innocent bystander.

"Toilet?" Saras asked, ready to use it as an excuse himself.

"Yeah. After you, I'm not that desperate." The ape offered, indicating the stairs and the small, silent battle going on upstairs.

"Oh no, you got here first big guy." Saras threw the stairs back at him.

"You know the toilet's on the first floor, right?" A dog waddled over next to the gorilla, wearing a glare. "And you know we were hired to kill this guy a few days ago? What's wrong with you you big idiot?"

If it was any consolation Saras thought the dog was the bigger idiot.

Saras brought his paws up, dealing a double-smack to the dog's ears. He teleported and appeared behind the gorilla. Thinking of nothing better to do the fox threw his arms around the ape's throat and squeezed into a chokehold. This proved to be a bad idea when the gorilla brought his own back into a wall, hammering the fox against the wooden structure repeatedly. Or rather it would have been if not for the fact that there wasn't a wall behind the gorilla, but a door. Both fell through with a sudden yell and the audience turned to see, but the door had closed again, leaving the dog looking slightly sheepish.

"I er- need the toilet." He explained, following the two through the door.

* * *

Dianbo spat out the coal Safi had jammed into his mouth to keep him quiet. His arms and legs were tied to a chair, and a large rope around his middle tied him to Han Guan, who had his back facing away from him.

"What happened to you?" The jackal asked, trying to writhe free of the ropes.

"Oh Safi-kun ambushed me." The wolverine explained. "Dropped a sandbag on me the second I set foot here."

"Yeah well she just paralyzed me for saving her life." The jackal summarized.

"I assume we're still saving her?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Try stand up and then fall down and I think we can break the chair."

"That won't work." Dianbo said despairingly. "Safi's too rich to buy low-quality cheap furniture that can get broken by something as simple as falling down."

They fell and the chairs exploded into splinters. Dianbo rubbed life back into his legs, turned to face Han and widened his eyes.

"What?"

Dianbo blinked. "Er, nothing."

* * *

The curtains opened wide and Safi beamed. Her favourite song.

"Hello, it's me. I was just here wondering if after all these years you lied to me." Before she could get to the next line the door behind her fell apart, and the jackal was there once more, accompanied by-

* * *

"What the _hell, is that Han Guan?_ " Li I balked at the figure, who's face was pale and who's cheeks were rosy, and had flowers in his fur. "You know he's actually kind of cute."

Kunjingle, Reidak and the Order of the Owl turned to look at him.

Li I blinked. "I don't mean it in that way! Just look at him though, he looks like a girl!"

Everyone had to admit that much was true.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, admit it now, but if I say it yall give me some dirty looks."

One assassin raised a hoof.

"What is it?"

"We are unsure whether or not we should listen to you rant about your confused gender or continue fighting?"

"My gender is not confused!" Li I barked, mercilessly throwing himself upon the hoofed assassin. "And of course we should continue fighting! Who's next?"

* * *

Saras teleported away from the gorilla before the ape's weight could crush him. He landed on top of him, his Talon Claws digging into the ape's throat.

The dog joined them and turned on a candle. They were in the toilet.

"Don't move!" Saras commanded, tightening his grip. "Now, I want some answers. Give them and we can work something out."

"Woah, this guy knows how to interrogate people!" The gorilla wheezed, eyes wide with awe.

Saras couldn't stop himself smiling smugly. "Yeah well, you're not the only one who's part of a major criminal organisation."

The dog cocked his head to the side. "Triad?"

"No."

"Seeker?"

"No."

"Lin Kuei?"

"No."

"Kingswood?"

"No."

Both assassins looked perplexed. "Who are you with then?"

"The Bat Cave."

Their confusion was made even clearer.

"You _have_ heard of them." Saras said, annoyed beyond measure.

"No." What hurt more was the fact that he was being sincere.

"Yes, yes _you_ have." He turned back to the gorilla and tightened his grip, so that the Talon Claws were digging into flesh. "You have haven't you?"

"Y-yes!" The ape croaked out. Satisfied, Saras turned back to the dog. Or at least he was satisfied until he noticed the ape shaking his head behind his back.

Slamming his other foot down on the simian's nose Saras teleported forwards and slammed the dog against the wall. "Now, I want you to be very honest with me. Who hired you, to kill me?"

The dog opened his mouth, only for a turtle to slowly push open the door. All three remained where they were, not talking, making barely any move aside from eye contact.

The old turtle strolled over to a basin and slowly pulled down his belt. Which was weird because he wasn't wearing pants anyway.

The awkwardness was palpable as they could quite clearly hear the pouring coming from the basin. Eventually the turtle walked out slowly, made his way to a bucket of clean water. Gently dipped his claws in, paused, turned to smile at them, and slowly, ever so slowly, left.

" _Now_ tell me who hired you."

"I- I don't know." The canine squeaked. Then he grinned. "And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you, pup!" The dog brought his elbows down on the fox's paws, freeing himself from Saras' grip. The gorilla grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and slammed him into a wall.

* * *

Safi wanted to shriek in rage and protest, but was whisked off her feet by Dianbo, who jammed a rose in her mouth to silence her. Her dance-partners were perplexed, but determined to keep the show going. Meanwhile the idiot Japanese mustelid was taking over her spotlight! He didn't even know which song he was meant to sing!

"One, two, three, four, five, once I caught a fish alive! Six, seven, eight, nine, ten, then I let it go again!"

Lang and Jiao'ao shared a look.

"Is this part of the plan?" The peacock was unable to conceal the mirth behind the question.

"What do you _think?_ " The red panda shot back. He stood on his chair, caution be damned, and scanned the audience. Sure enough, Cin Lin was there. Unfortunately she raised her head in his direction before he could hide. "Alright. Have fun little prince." Lang tore forwards, jumping from the edge of one table, to the edge of another, closing the gap in minutes. He shot into the air, ready to bring his spear down, when a webbed hand caught him on the chest and sent him flying into the air. He hadn't seen the frog.

* * *

Han Guan was singing every nursery rhyme they taught in Japan. From the Little Red Rose to Nest Soup. Eventually he came to a halt and bowed. "Thank you for coming Ladies-chan and Gentle-samas!"

"Hey what gives?" Shouted the fat crocodile, shoving Han Guan roughly to one side. "I had my song coming up. The show's not over yet people!"

Chaonao burst through the doors, sporting a bandage on his head and a menacing scowl. " _Shows over people! Oh wait, I'm not interrupting something am I? Sorry Safi! SQUAWK!"_

Lang came crashing back down, right on top of a chest he'd shoved into a corner.

"I'm free!" The necklace darted forwards before Lang could grab it, and was bouncing past the crowd, many of whom were beginning to realize that the performance was not going according to plan. They probably smelled the smoke. Or heard Han Guan singing. "I'm free! I'm free! I'm free! I'm free!" Then with one more, final bounce it tightened around Chaonao's neck. The parrot squawked and fell backwards, only to get back up and slam the door shut.

" _On second thought! The shows just begun!"_

* * *

 _Footnote: You know I didn't realize how dark the original was up until I started remaking this. The original was a lot creepier I remember, and gorrier and a lot less funny. Recently I found an old notebook and the original, original, original House of Tamod was a hellafalot darker. Jiao'ao, Han Guan, Wugu, Safi (who back then wasn't as big of a bitch) and Dianbo were all meant to bite the dust. Li I was also supposed to die, but come back evil (which technically he half-did/half-does) and Kunjingle was meant to go full feral. So... yeah... funny how much the tone has changed.  
_

 _I'm not sure whether any of you remember this part. It was a minor arc in the original, extra minor considering the length of my chapters back then. But I think Musical Chaos plus Han Guan dressed as a geisha was pretty memorable._


	41. Does The Fox Say Let Me Love You

It was chaos. Simply put. Assassins were flying. Darts were flying. Innocent bystanders were cowering behind the counter, Safi's background dancers were cowering behind the curtains. Chairs were flying. Tables were flying. Lang was tearing a path to Cin Lin. And Chaonao/Mr Singh were singing.

 _"I used to believe_  
 _We were burnin' on the edge of somethin' beautiful_  
 _Somethin' beautiful_  
 _Selling a dream_  
 _Smoke and mirrors keep us waitin' on a miracle_  
 _On a miracle."_

And Safi _still_ thought _he_ was the bad guy!

With surprising dexterity the feline twisted out of his, admittedly not very strong, grip and nailed him on the nose. Spitting out the flower she proceeded to bring her knee up.

Dianbo fell to his knees, black spots of pain forming over his vision. You know maybe the others were right about her...

"You will not ruin my show! I'm going to do something for once in my life! Me! And if I have to beat you up to do it than believe me I will!"

"Safi-" He was punched again. It did not hurt very much, neither did the next one, but the third probably would, so he dodged it.

"Hey! Safi's fighting that meanie the jackal!" Came one of her back-up dancers.

"We're coming girlfriend!" Shouted another.

"Oh boy." Dianbo ducked the duck's flying kick. He wasn't quite able to avoid the crocodile's belly slam-most likely because her stomach was so big it was darn-right hard to dodge. "I don't want to hurt you." Dianbo protested.

"Well we do!" Came the pig-dancer, slamming a vase over his face.

 _"Don't you give up, nah-nah-nah_  
 _I won't give up, nah-nah-nah_  
 _Let me love you_  
 _Let me love you_  
 _Don't you give up, nah-nah-nah_  
 _I won't give up, nah-nah-nah_  
 _Let me love you_  
 _Let me love you."_

"Go get 'em Safi! We'll handle this guy!"

Safi shook her head over-dramatically. "No... I shall help you defeat this vile villain. HIYA!" She threw herself into a martial art's pose Dianbo could already see five hundred errors in. The girls all giggle. "We should really try out this Kung Fu thing. We'd be so great at it!"

Despite the fact that none of them seemed to have any talent for Kung Fu whatsoever, Dianbo's heart swelled. "I could teach you!"

"Get him!" Safi's punch to the face promptly deflated it. It was further flattened by the crocodile's tail slamming into his legs and knocking him off balance so that the vase-pig could backhand him and the duck could slap him. He sighed. He had to fight them but that didn't mean he had to hurt them...

He ducked the next time Safi swung, and it was easy to grab her paw in his and pull her legs into his own, tripping her. Of course, he would never have tripped Safi had he not known the crocodile-dancer's large stomach was there to break her fall. Next he sidestepped the pig's punch, letting her fist slam into the duck's throat, before elegantly throwing his whip around them both and pulling them into a hug.

"Ew! The skinny foreigner touched me!"

"He's touching me too!"

"Actually I tied the two of you together." The jackal said, paws crossed over his chest. "I would never hold a lady without their permission."

 _"Don't you give up, nah-nah-nah."_

"You started dancing on stage with me!"

 _"I won't give up, nah-nah-nah."_

"To protect you!"

 _"Let me love you."_

"You were hogging the spotlight!"

 _"Let me love you."_

"No I was not!"

 _"Don't you give up, nah-nah-nah."_

"Yes you were. And now you threw me into my best friend's stomach!"

 _"I won't give up, nah-nah-nah."_

"So that it wouldn't hurt!"

 _"Let me love you."_

"Are you saying I'm fat?" Whimpered the croc.

 _"Let me love you."_

"N-no!"

The reptile however had already fallen into tears.

Dianbo sighed deeply.

Safi charged forwards, Dianbo sidestepped and held out his foot, letting the cat trip over the leg and fall face-first into her friends. A swift maneuver of his weapon and Safi was bound together with her friends.

"I'm sorry Safi." Said Dianbo.

"You're about to be." Growled the cat, tearing through the whip's hold on her.

Once more the jackal was forced to dodge the cat's offensive. It didn't help that her friends were also trying to hit him. The pig's fist slammed into Safi's cheek, Safi's leg missed Dianbo by a mile and caught the duck on the chin. Taking a step backwards the avian stepped on the crocodile's tail, making her cry even louder. Grabbing hold of the whip, Safi tried to swing it at Diano, who ducked and let it wrap around the duck. The waterfowl was not pleased by this turn of events and with an indignant squawk aimed a kick. It missed and met the pig's nose.

"Why are you doing this?!" Safi shrieked, apparently on the verge of tears herself. "What did I ever do to you?"

 _"Never let you go."_

"Nothing! I'm trying to save you!"

 _"Never let you go."_

But it was too late, the cat threw her paws over her face and sobbed loudly. Feeling slightly guilty, but lovestruck as usual, Dianbo approached and placed a gentle paw on the feline's shoulder.

"I promise... I'll make this up to you somehow."

 _"Never let you go."_

Safi's knee went up reflexively. The canine wheezed in pain.

 _"Never let you go_  
 _(oh no no no no)."_

"You fell for that? Well I hope you know that I'm a professional actress."

And testicle crusher... "Safi... please..."

 _"Never let you go (yeah yeah)."_

She slammed her foot over his face. "Stay away from me." Her foot came down again. "Stay away from my friends!" Her foot came down a final time. "And stay down!"

 _"I'll never let you go."_

Dianbo lay where he was, breathing deeply through a bloody nose. It was easy to stay down... but Dianbo rarely did what was easy. After all... he had learned Kung Fu!

 _"Don't you give up, nah-nah-nah."_

Chaonao seemed to agree with that statement. Flipping to his feet Dianbo avoided Safi's next stomp. The cat swung for him, and the jackal deflected it with a kick. The feline's fist connected with the pig's cheek.

 _"I won't give up, nah-nah-nah."_

Next Dianbo pulled up a chair, and tripped Safi so that the cat was forced to sit down. Shifting his head to the side he avoided the duck, who flew past him and bumped into an old turtle cowering behind a table.

 _"Let me love you."_

Picking up his whip, he caught Safi by the wrist, and directed her fist into the charging-once-more duck.

 _"Let me love you."_

He then pulled the feline into the way of the pig's wild kick.

 _"Don't you give up, nah-nah-nah."_

The jackal tugged at the whip, bringing Safi's arm into the pig's chin.

 _"I won't give up, nah-nah-nah."_

Her dancers now wailing, Safi swung with her free paw, but Dianbo was ready with a kick that slammed her fist against a table.

 _"Let me love you."_

Pulling sharply he forced Safi to sit on the chair once more before he tightened the whip around the chair.

 _"Let me love you."_

Panting slightly the jackal backed away. "I'm sorry Safi."

"Burn in hell!" Wailed the cat.

* * *

 _"SQUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWK! Damn been holding that in forever! Okay! Let me catch my breath guys! Good song am I right? SQUAWK! What the hell is wrong with this body though?"_

Cin Lin frowned as the jackal continued to catch his breath. The music had stopped and she seemed to have lost Lang. All it took was one good cut.

Safi stood up, remembering that her chairs were cheap. The lynx shot forwards suddenly, her knife free. Taken by surprise the jackal was unable to react in time. Cin Lin was an inch away, when Safi suddenly dropped, smashing the chair against the floor. Cin Lin's dagger sliced the air her neck had been a moment before. Acting quickly Dianbo threw in a kick that sent the feline's long dagger out of her paw. The assassin however, whipped out a second blade before the first had even hit the floor.

It was a pity Lang's spear got in her way. She hated the reach on that thing!

"Okay Lang you deal with your girl, I'll deal with mine."

"She's _not_ my girl!" Barked the red panda.

"I'm _not_ yours!" Shrieked Safi, nailing the jackal inbetween the legs. Again. Turning around Safi bolted for the stage.

"You're _not_ getting in my way." Cin Lin replied coldly, turning to face her opponent.

"I've got a couple of questions for you." Growled the red panda.

"I don't have any answers for you." The lynx shot back, turning to follow the feline.

 _"Who wants to hear something else, huh? We had the romance, how about some laughs for our next song?"_

Everyone was too terrified or busy fighting to respond.

* * *

 _"Dog goes "woof"."_

The dog swung for Saras' face, but the fox was quick enough to duck.

 _"Cat goes "meow"."_

The gorilla came in with his own swing. It missed by a mile and broke open a cubicle door.

 _"Bird goes "tweet"._

The bird occupying said cubicle sounded more like it was screaming.

 _"And mouse goes "squeek"."_

The shapeshifter jabbed forwards, winding the dog.

 _"Cow goes "moo"."_

The great ape replied by stepping on a loose floorboard, catapulting Saras into the air.

 _"Frog goes "croak"."_

The shapeshifter teleported out of the way of the monkey's swing.

 _"And the elephant goes "toot"."_

And appeared on top of the ape. Saras caught hold of the hapless assassin's ears and pulled.

 _"Ducks say "quack"_  
 _And fish go "blub"_  
 _And the seal goes "ow ow ow"."_

Saras wasn't too sure about seals, but his opponent was making a similar noise.

 _"But there's one sound_  
 _That no one knows."_

If whoever was singing was referring to the noise made by gorilla's accidentally hit in the testicles by their comrade, then Saras was pretty sure three people, plus the screaming bird, knew what it sounded like.  
What does the fox say?

"Huh?" Saras straightened up abruptly, his ears rotating to find who was talking to him.

 _"Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!"_

That moment of surprise was enough for the gorilla to hurl him to the ground.

 _"Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!"_

Saras rolled to the side, effectively avoiding the great ape's floorboard-smashing stomp.

 _"Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!"_

Rising swiftly to his feet Saras managed to block the dog's incoming fist, and use the canine's momentum to throw him into a water basin.

"THIS IS FULL OF PISS!" Shrieked the so-called assassin, shaking his head to and fro to get the liquid off of him.

 _"What the fox say?"_

Saras raised his paws to shield his face, not wanting to get his own coating of toilet contents.

 _"Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!"_

Unfortunately this made his paws and easy target for the gorilla's iron grip.

 _"Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!"_

Saras was raised off his feet and thrown unceremoniously out of the toilet.

 _"Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!"_

He collided with a table, and lifted himself to his feet.

 _"What the fox say?"_

Swivelling around he was stunned to see that Chaonao was the one singing.

 _"Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!"_

He had no more time to ponder this as the gorilla threw himself at the table.  
 _"Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!"_

Saras sidestepped and let the ape crash into the furniture.  
 _"Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!"_

As a bit of revenge Saras smacked the assassin's ear, not that it hurt much.

 _"What the fox say?"_

"MERCY!" Filled in the dog, now wielding another bucket, who's contents Saras dared not imagine.

 _"Joff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff!"_

The shapeshifter teleported upwards and forwards, so that he hung from the wall, and was in perfect position to kick the door right over the bewildered dog's toes.

 _"Tchoff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff!"_

Which he did.

 _"Joff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff!"_

And he did it again. Because it looked funny.

 _"What the fox say?"_

He was promptly grabbed and thrown back into the toilet by the gorilla. He landed next to a large mirror.

 _"Big blue eyes."_

His eyes weren't that big... or blue.

 _"Pointy nose."_

He placed his paws over his nose... it wasn't that pointy.

 _"Chasing mice."_

The dog lifted him by the scruff and slammed into the mirror, before throwing him back into the ground.

 _"And digging holes."_

The gorilla must have thought foxes dug holes with their bodies, judging from the way he slammed Saras' whole form into the floorboard.

 _"Tiny paws."_

"They're not that small." He wheezed as the gorilla lifted him.

 _"Up the hill."_

Or rather, out the toilet door with the rest of him.

 _"Suddenly you're standing still."_

Crashing into an unmoving table had that effect on people.

 _"Your fur is red_  
 _So beautiful."_

He paused and stared, mouth agape, at Chaonao. "D-did you just call me beautiful?"

 _"Like an angel in disguise."_

"A-angel?"

 _"But if you meet."_

He had no more time to ponder whether or not the parrot had a crush on him. Dodging kicks had that effect on people's thoughts.

 _"A friendly horse."_

Catching the dog's leg he delivered a kick of his own, directly on the canine's own toes.

 _"Will you communicate by_  
 _Mo-o-o-o-orse?_  
 _Mo-o-o-o-orse?_  
 _Mo-o-o-o-orse?"_

He made it a point that with every 'o' he deliver a kick to that horse's toes... dog. Horse didn't have toes. Music had an odd effect on people too.

 _"How will you speak to that-"_

Freeing his leg the dog landed a headbutt.

 _"-Ho-o-o-o-orse?_  
 _Ho-o-o-o-orse?_  
 _Ho-o-o-o-orse?"_

He made it a point that for every 'o' he land a punch to the face.

 _"What does the fox say?"_

Bringing his foot down on the dog's toes for a final time Saras got the perfect opportunity to end their fight.

 _"Jacha-chacha-chacha-chow!"_

Slap, slap, slap, stomp.

 _"Chacha-chacha-chacha-chow!"_

Slap, slap, slap, stomp.

 _"Chacha-chacha-chacha-chow!"_

Stomp, slap, slap, stomp.

 _"What the fox say?"_

And to finish it all off, Saras slammed the canine's head against the rim of a table. It was just in time too for the gorilla had somehow gotten his paws onto a repeating crossbow.

 _"Fraka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kow!_  
 _Fraka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kow!"_

He leapt behind a table just in time as bolt after bolt collided with the wood or whistled past it to slam into another table.

 _"Fraka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kow!"_

The screaming bird finally emerged from the toilet, only to have it's head-feathers shorn clean off by a stray bolt. Needless to say it screamed a bit more after that.

 _"What the fox say?"_

"I'm jammed!" The gorilla yelled suddenly.

 _"A-hee-ahee ha-hee!"_

Peering over the rim of the table Saras found the entire crossbow heading straight for him.

 _"A-hee-ahee ha-hee!"_

How was Chaonao making that noise?

 _"A-hee-ahee ha-hee!"_

"You're gonna pay for hurting my friend!" The ape said, lifting the table over his head.

 _"What the fox say?"_

"Not today."

 _"A-oo-oo-oo-ooo!"_

He scrambled up the gorilla's back, and once again went for the ears.

 _"Woo-oo-oo-ooo!"_

The gorilla let go of the table, which broke over both of them.

 _"What does the fox say?"_

"My head." They both groaned.

 _"The secret of the fox."_

Saras stumbled away, his head dizzy.

 _"Ancient mystery."_

The gorilla shook his head wildly, before he was ready to attack.

 _"Somewhere deep in the woods."_

Saras rolled forwards, and once more went for the toes.

 _"I know you're hiding."_

Actually he was being tossed into the air by a gorilla.

 _"What is your sound?"_

He caught hold of a chandelier with a 'squeak'.

 _"Will we ever know?"_

"Get back here!" Yelled his opponent.

 _"Will always be a mystery."_

The chandelier was slipping. "Oh dear."

 _"What do you say?"_

The chandelier fell, and him with it, right on top of the ape. The blow was enough to take him out.

 _"You're my guardian angel."_

Saras couldn't help blinking at the parrot. "I'm your _what?!_ "

 _"Hiding in the woods."_

"I'm not hiding."

 _"What is your sound?"_

 _(Wa-wa-way-do, wub-wid-bid-dum-way-do, wa-wa-way-do)_  
 _Will we ever know? (Bay-budabud-dum-bam)_

Saras ignored him as best he could while he caught his breath.

 _"I want to (Mama-dum-day-do) I want to, I want to know!"_

That reminded him!

 _"(Abay-ba-da bum-bum bay-do)"_

"Hey! I want to know something too!" He turned to the gorilla. "Who hired you?" In hindsight he probably should have knocked the ape out _after_ he'd gotten that information. He growled.

Then another voice took him by surprise. "I did."

* * *

 _Footnote: This really was a joy to write. I own neither song. Let Me Love You was a good choice for Dianbo I feel, since his whole shtick in this story is having a crush on Safi... which doesn't go well as you can see. What Does The Fox Say was suggested by Berserker88 and admittedly, I liked it. Enough for it to be the second song. I also like the Chaonao/Mr Singh possession. I think it adds to the story in some small way. It certainly gives the parrot a bit more screen-time. And we'll delve further into what the possession does next time. And what Mr Singh is, and how he ended up the way he is. And things are going to get trippy.  
_


	42. Ultimate Showdown of NO!

The answer was followed up with a swift punch. Duyao's fist met Saras' chest and the fox flew through the air and crashed on the stage, narrowly missing Chaonao.

 _"Hey! Watch it will ya? Now for my next song!"_

Before he could get back to his feet Safi kicked him in the side, and watched with satisfaction as he crumbled to the ground.

 _"Old Godzilla was hoppin' around_  
 _Tokyo City lika a big playground."_

"What gives?" She kicked him again, and a third time.

 _"When suddenly Batman burst from the shade_  
 _And hit Godzilla with a bat grenade."_

"This is all your fault you selfish, greedy, evil little shit!"

 _"Godzilla got pissed and began to attack_  
 _But didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq."_

"Excuse me?" He wheezed, rolling away from her vicious, but not very painful attacks. "And what do you think I did now?"

 _"Who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq Fu_  
 _When Aaron Carter came out of the blue."_

"You turned my whole show into one of your... martial arts... fiesta things! It's not fair! You have an entire tournament to do things like this but you're so greedy you came here to steal my spotlight as well."

 _"And he started beating up Shaquille O'Neal_  
 _Then they both got flattened by the Batmobile."_

Finally managing to get to his feet, he screamed in terror when he saw Cin Lin diving for the stage.

 _"But before he could make it back to the Batcave_  
 _Abraham Lincoln popped out of his grave."_

The lynx wasn't going for him however, but for Safi. And she would have gotten her too, had Dianbo's whip not caught her by the leg and pulled her down. Cin Lin spun around and brought both feet up into Lang's chest, throwing him into the air, where he collided with another assassin Kunjingle had accidentally tossed his way.

The bear clapped his paws awkwardly.

"He says he's sorry Lang!" Provided Li.

 _"And took an AK-47 out from under his hat_  
 _And blew Batman away with a rat-a-tat-tat."_

Duyao landed on the stage, Chaonao was still singing, completely oblivious to all the commotion around him.

"Finally someone who's responsible!" Came Safi's delighted voice. The voice changed to one of annoyance, when the amphibian gave Saras a powerful shove forwards. "Not you too!"

 _"But he ran out of bullets and he ran away_  
 _Because Optimus Prime came to save the day."_

The fox landed in an untidy heap on the spa table. Between getting locked up, taking a sandbag to the head, and the past few beatings, Saras was having a pretty lousy day... even by his standards. Duyao followed him into the spa, gently pulled a small leaf out of her vest and grabbed him by the muzzle. Her fist collided with his face. Once, twice, a third time, until finally he shrunk into mouse form, and let her fist slam into the table.

 _"This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny."_

"Why are you doing this? You're not even in the list of people who want me dead!"

 _"Good guys bad guys and explosions_  
 _As far as the eye can see."_

"I despise your master." Duyao replied, flipping the table over and him with it. "Everything you and him stand for."

 _"And only one will survive_  
 _I wonder who it will be_  
 _This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny."_

The fox teleported away from the wreckage of the table. "Master? This isn't about Badr is it?"

 _"Godzilla took a bite out of Optimus Prime_  
 _Like Scruff McGruff took a bite out of crime."_

Duyao frowned at him. "Are you pretending to be stupid or are you actually stupid?"

 _"Then Shaq came back covered in a tire track_  
 _But Jackie Chan jumped out and landed on his back."_

"Are you _serious?_ Badr is not my _master!"_ Of all the stupid things that could have gotten him killed... this one took the cake. "So you hate Badr, and want to kill him because he's a monster or whatever, so you decide you'll kill a guy he literally just met. It sounds even stupider when I say it!"

 _"And Batman was injured and trying to get steady_  
 _When Abraham Lincoln came back with a machete."_

Duyao blinked, her eyes narrowed in contemplation. "He gave you the Singh Box."

 _"But suddenly something caught on his leg and he tripped_  
 _Indiana Jones took him out with his whip."_

"I didn't even know what that was." Changing back into a fox he raised his arms in a gesture of surrender. "Look... you've got the wrong guy. Okay, I am a nice person." I am, aren't I? "I don't want to get on anybody's bad-side."

 _"Then he saw godzilla sneaking up from behind_  
 _And he reached for his gun which he just couldn't find."_

"How do I know you're not lying? Trying to save your life. I've been doing this for a long time kid and every criminal I've ever killed has died with a lie on their lips."

 _"Because Batman stole it and he shot and he missed_  
 _And Jackie Chan deflected it with his fist."_

"Well... I'm not a liar."

 _"Then he jumped in the air and did a somersault_  
 _While Abraham Lincoln tried to pole vault."_

"Is that the best you got?"

 _"Onto Optimus Prime but the collided in the air_  
 _Then they both got hit by a Care Bear Stare."_

"I'm not with Badr."

"Then why are you here, protecting his daughter?"

 _"This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny_  
 _Good Guys, Bad Guys and Explosions_  
 _As far as the eye can see."_

Shit, he didn't have a good answer for that. "Well... er... I-" His hesitation was all the confirmation the frog needed. Duyao charged forwards.

 _"And only one will survive_  
 _I wonder who it will be_  
 _This is the ultimate showdown."_

* * *

"Hey guys, beating up bad guys is all fun and stuff." Li grunted as he narrowly escaped instant decapitation. "But what are we going to do about the fire? And the er... audience?"

 _"Angels sang out in immaculate chorus_  
 _Down from the heavens_  
 _Descended Chuck Norris."_

Reidak blocked a sabre with one of his clubs, before bringing his second billy into the enemy's stomach. "The longer this goes on the more likely they are to get hurt!" The tiger called from the room he was fighting in. He slammed the side of the club into the side of a rhino's head, before leaping into the air and kicking the rhino into the wall. Instead of slumping to the ground in a crumpled heap, the large mammal crashed through the wood and out into the night. He fell with a scream that turned into a splash as he landed in the mud.

 _"Who delivered a kick_  
 _That could shatter bones_  
 _Into the crotch_  
 _Of Indiana Jones."_

That was exactly what Reidak did to his next opponent. It was strange, but judging from the groans, many people had thought this was a good idea. Music had a strange effect on people...

 _"Who fell over to the ground_  
 _Writhing in pain."_

"Did we all just go for the crotch?" Li I was nursing a hurt foot. It had been hurt because both he and his opponent had gone for the crotch at the same time, with the same foot.

 _"As Batman changed back_  
 _Into Bruce Wayne."_

"Who even is Batman?"

 _"But Chuck saw through_  
 _His clever disguise_  
 _And crushed Batman's head_  
 _Inbetween his thighs."_

Disgust was evident on every face.

"Let's not try that." The bunny held his own head between his paws... what an image.

"Yes."

"Absolutely."

"Never."

"Back to fighting?" The rabbit suggested.

"Yes."

"Absolutely."

"Always." Chorused back the Order of the Owl.

 _"Then Gandalf the Grey And Gandalf the White_  
 _And Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight."_

The rabbit weaved between a kick and a punch, sending a dart into the outstretched fist and foot of his opponents.

 _"And Benito Mussolini And the Blue Meanie_  
 _And Cowboy Curtis And Jambi the Genie."_

Expanding his fan he deflected several well-thrown kunai, before hopping backwards.

 _"Robocop The Terminator Captain Kirk And Darth Vader_  
 _Lo Pan Superman Every single Power Ranger."_

Allowing Kunjingle to barrel into the hapless trio.

 _"Bill S. Preston And Theodore Logan_  
 _Spock The Rock Doc Ock And Hulk Hogan."_

Before he lifted one off their feet and hurled them into the ground. Accidentally creating a large assassin-shaped hole in the second floor landing.

"I don't think you have to pay for that." Li I assured him.

 _"All came out of nowhere lightning fast_  
 _And they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass."_

"That's a good idea!" The rabbit grinned. "Wait a sec, who's Chuck Norris?"

"And what's a cowboy?" Demanded Jiao'ao. "The proper term for a male bovine is bull."

Then another assassin came in, wielding a flaming mattress... because flaming mattresses were effective weapons.

 _"It was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw_  
 _With civilians looking on in total awe."_

Actually they were cowering in fear, but Chaonao, being in some sense possessed by Mr Singh was not paying too much attention.

 _"The fight raged on for a century_  
 _Many lives were claimed but eventually_  
 _The champion stood_  
 _The rest saw their better_  
 _Mr. Rogers in a blood stained sweater."_

"Who's Mr Rogers?" Asked... basically everyone within earshot.

 _"This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny_  
 _Good guys bad guys and explosions."_

Complete with a flaming mattress hurled perilously close to one's face.

 _"As far as the eye can see_  
 _And only one will survive_  
 _I wonder who it will be."_

It was definitely not the assassin Kunjingle belly-bounced through the roof. He survived. Just not well enough to continue fighting.

 _"This is the ultimate showdown_  
 _(this is the ultimate showdown)_  
 _This is the ultimate showdown!_  
 _(this is the ultimate showdown)_  
 _This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny."_

Just as the song reached it's finale, Safi seized the chance to reclaim her fame.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" She yelled at the top of her voice, though most continued to ignore her. " _Ladies and gentlemen!_ " She repeated, more angrily. Once more the adrenaline-fueled fighters and the panic-stricken audience and the singing Chaonao were completely oblivious to her existence. Even Dianbo, who at that moment hopped onto a table to avoid having his feet sliced off by Cin Lin's deadly blade. "LAAAAAAAAADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" She roared, finally getting everyone's attention. "I don't know what is going on," She continued in a milder tone. "This was not meant to be another part of my father's dumb martial arts tournament! You came here to see me sing! Now I'm going to sing and if anyone interrupts me-"

"Hey lady, I think you've got it wrong." One member of the Order of the Owl raised a hoof from behind his cowl. "We're actually here to kill you." He chuckled. "Why would anyone want to hear you sing?"

"Yeah!" Agreed Han. "I mean, we're not here to kill you. But we only came so that they couldn't kill you!"

A third voice joined them. It belonged to Hong Ze, who, unfortunately, had taken the chaos as a God-given opportunity for him to get friendly with every alcoholic beverage Safi's Place owned. "Wait. Killers! Are you with the triads?"

"Um... no actually. I work for the Order of the Owl." Supplied the hooved assassin.

"Fuck the triads! Fuck the Order of the OWL! AND FUCK GEISHA GIRLS!" Shrieked Safi. Why wouldn't those idiots just. Let. Her. Sing.

Han gasped in horror. The hooved assassin looked ready to kill... which to be fair he always did. And Hong Ze withdrew his scimitars. "If you want to fuck with meeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I will have noooooooooooo choice but to kill yooooooooooooouu!"

"Well be my guest! Because frankly! I'm contemplating suicide!"

"No! Safi! Don't listen to the depression, I know what it feels like!" Dianbo payed dearly for his lack of focus when Cin Lin nailed him in the gut. The jackal was only saved by Lang pulling a well-placed rug out from under her.

"You can't kill Safi!" Han Guan rushed towards Hong Ze, claws outstretched. He raised his paws in a salute of surrender. "Relax Hong Ze-sama, you've had too much to drink."

The elk swung at him, and his blades cut right through the claws Han Guan had kept so long for so long.

The wolverine looked close to tears at the sight of his paws, mere stumps of his greatest pride now sticking out from his fingers. Li I hopped down from above.

"Who do you think you are, sicko! Han Guan is an _angel_ and what you did to him is horrible, unacceptable, evil- even for _you_!" He paused... that sounded very familiar. Suddenly his ear was twitching very dangerously. "And... you... made... me... talk... LIKE... _MUNG!_ " The rabbit hopped forwards, ready to show the elk no mercy.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!" Now attention was divided, but Safi was not listening. "I. JUST. WANT. TO. SING!"

"Do you honey?" The necklace freed itself from around Chaonao's neck and hopped forwards. The parrot fell to the ground.

 _"My head! My head hurts! The Beiber Feaver... it hurts..."_

"Well let me help with that!" The necklace wrapped itself around Safi's neck. And suddenly music was bursting out of the feline's mouth.

 ** _"Everything about this is no!"_**

The hooved assassin made his move, dashing forwards, a small dagger glinting in the light.

 _ **"This song is, no!"**_

With skill that Safi definitely did not have, the cat caught the assassin by the hoof and flipped him into the ground.

 _ **"This vid is, no!"**_

She ripped her dress open around her waist, revealing quite a bit more than should have been allowed.

 _ **"My dancing is, no!"**_

She slammed her foot down hard on the assassin's gut, winding him.

 _ **"Plus it looks and sounds so old**_  
 _ **Like something Britney Spears**_  
 _ **Did fifteen years ago."**_

By now her dance partners, seeing that Safi's stardom had been reclaimed, leapt onto the stage.

"What's with your new look, it's straight up, no!" Shouted the crocodile, staring wide-eyed at the cleavage.

 _ **"Your hair is, no!** "_ Responded Safi, whirling her paw around and catching a bolt that had been sent at her.

 _ **"Your clothes are, no!**_  
 _ **Your makeup is, no!**_  
 _ **Your stylist really blows!**_  
 _ **Did she pick out that coat?**_  
 _ **You should let her go!**_  
 _ **You look like a leprechaun girl!**_  
 _ **No!"**_

The crocodile burst into tears. "You said I looked good in this." She wailed, before throwing her hands over her face and heading for the door.

"What is wrong with her?" Demanded Dianbo, hopping onto the stage to try and prize the necklace off. His paw reached forwards slowly. "Safi... that necklace has done something to you."

 _ **"I wanted to do**_  
 _ **Something that was new**_  
 _ **Change the way people thought about me."**_

The feline caught him by the paw, and with a strength she had not shown before, threw him into the audience.

 _ **"So I died my hair**_  
 _ **Changed the clothes I wear**_  
 _ **And learned some lame choreography!"**_

By now the pig and the duck were looking stricken at their friend's state. "Um Safi?" But the cat ignored them.

 _ **"Then I discarded, the sound that made me big!**_  
 _ **Nineteen-fifties bubble gum doo wop!"**_

"Oh no! She's saying words that don't exist!"

 _ **"For a sound**_  
 _ **That straight rips off NSYNC and Britney Spears style pop!"**_

"NOOOOOOOO! SAAAAAAAAAAAFI!"

The cat turned to them and winked. "Just do our dance."

The two looked perplexed. Safi continued regardless.

 _ **"There's a message in this song!"**_

"Li!" Shouted Dianbo. "Kunjingle! Jiao'ao! Something's wrong with Safi!"

 _ **"It's a feminist anthem."**_

Li I hopped out from under the counter. "I'll handle this!"

 _ **"And the message is anytime a man talks to you say."**_

"Excuse me!" The rabbit dashed forwards to the stage.

 _ **"No!"**_

"That's harsh-"

 _ **"No!"**_

"You need to leave."

 _ **"No!"**_

Jiao'ao glided over, looking surprisingly serene amongst the panicking crowd. "You are in danger."

"We're here to help you."

 _ **"Quit hitting on me jerks I said no!"**_

"I'm not hitting-"

 _" **No!"**_

"I-"

 _ **"No!"**_

"Should we kidnap her?"

 _ **"No!"**_ Safi swung at Li.

"Be careful!" Came the peacock's warning, slightly too late.

 _ **"I said no!"**_

"But-" Spluttered the avian.

"Incoming!" Warned Li, as the mud-covered rhino returned, murder gleaming in his eye as he made for the unwary Han Guan.

 _ **"No! Quit asking me out guys I said no!"**_

Ignoring her the two went for the assassin.

 _ **"Every guy I see**_  
 _ **Tries hitting on me!"**_

"No we do not!" Shouted every guy minus Lang, who was busy duelling Cin Lin, Hong Ze who was out cold and Saras who was dodging the plethora of flaming furniture Duyao was throwing at him.

 _ **"I'm sick of it that's why I'm mean to them."**_ The cat caught a fiery chair in paw, and threw it back at Duyao with vicious strength. The amphibian was taken by surprise and received a direct hit.

"But that sounds arrogant!" Her friends were now all in tears. Who was this mean, cruel, selfish feline and what had she done to the kind, caring and funny soul that was Safi?

 _ **"No you don't understand**_  
 _ **The effect my body has on men!"**_

Li I was as red as a tomato. "You have literally no effect on any man except Dianbo!"

The jackal scowled. "Okay, just tell everyone. I don't mind."

"Oh, it was painfully obvious." Stated the mud-soaked rhino. The rest of the assassins nodded.

 _ **"All these girls with me."**_ She indicated her tearful companions.

 _ **"Are totally skinny**_  
 _ **Which is weird because my biggest song is about**_  
 _ **Positive body image for overweight girls!"**_

 _"Er Safi... I'm a senior professional_  
 _In your father's er company_  
 _I'm concerned about this."_

Came Chaonao's voice, trying to restore order. Why he was speaking in tune with the music was anyone's guess.

 _ **"No stop trying to hit on me!"**_

 _"Now I think-"_

 _ **"No!"**_

" _This song's too-"_ How was he meant to let her off lightly? She probably spent years on this!

 _ **"No!"**_

 _"It's not a hit! SQUAWK!"_

 _ **"No!"**_

 _"You need to re-record?"_ That necklace had filled his head with all manners of strange vocabulary. What on earth did re-record mean?

"Maybe write some more." Suggested the duck.

"Songs like you did before." Suggested the pig.

 _ **"I'm not going out with you assholes!"**_

"I don't want-" Shrieked Saras, though that was probably meant to be ended with a 'to die' and was most likely not addressing the feline, but the frog that threw him into the kitchen.

 _ **"No!"**_

"I'm married!" Exclaimed Reidak.

 _ **"No!**_

"Safi I'm gay!" Shouted someone in the crowd.

 _ **"No! Shut up and leave me alone!"**_

"But Safi!" The jackal had no idea why she would not just listen to reason!

 _ **"I said no! You're not taking me home!"**_

 _"WAIT!"_ Shouted Chaonao, at the top of his voice. It was very loud. And caught everyone's attention. _"Can someone please explain to me what's going on? Suddenly Safi can sing good, you're all fighting, this place is on fire, the little bird with the shaved head is saying he's gay! Like what is happening?"_

Safi felt rage swelling up inside her. All of that and she still didn't have the spotlight. Her anger and hatred swelled, and suddenly all she wanted to feel was the taste of her enemy's blood on her lips.

 _New song please._ Demanded Safi.

 **As my princess demands.** Returned the necklace.

* * *

 _Footnote: Once again I own neither song. The first one is a parody original song also suggested by Berserker88 in his extensive recommendations. The second one is also a parody. It's called No! Meghan Trainor Parody and belongs to the Youtube Channel Bart Baker. The video itself is funny on it's own, as is another song I'll be using from them... next time.  
_


	43. Kill 'Em With Kung Fu Fighting

As music filled Safi's Place once more, the feline whistled. A cleaver spun in the air, heading straight for her head. She caught it by the blade.

 ** _"When someone tries to throw me shade!"_**

She spun the weapon round so that she held it by the handle.

 ** _"I use a spell I learned ooooooon,"_**

Jiao'ao was the one nearest to her at that point. So Safi made the peacock her target.

 ** _"Wizards of Waaaaaaaaaaverly Place."_** ** _  
_**

She darted forwards, swinging her cleaver as she flew through the air.

Jiao'ao only just managed to parry it's blade with his own.

"What the hell?!"

 ** _"Because I really am a witch."_**

Jiao'ao ducked as she reversed her grip on the weapon and once more made for his head. He was not quick enough to avoid as the blunt side of the weapon slammed into the side of his head. He stumbled sideways and her punch knocked him to the ground.

"Guys! I think Safi's angry!"

 ** _"I turn on the niceness."_**

She brought the cleaver down hard, and it was only Reidak's parrying that spared the peacock's life.

 ** _"Pretend I like em."_**

The tiger was promptly forced to block her perfectly-formed roundhouse kick, followed up by a devastating uppercut that probably would have knocked him out.

 ** _"They don't realize."_**

Li tried to slide into her legs, but the feline leapt into the air and landed a strong side-kick to his face.

 ** _"I am full of shit."_**

"Oh I realize." Groaned the rabbit, clutching a bloody nose. "When did she get so strong?"

 ** _"I kill em with kindness."_**

Reidak was now backing away, desperately blocking the cleaver's increasingly powerful swings. "This would be a lot easier if I could hit her back!" She brought her paw directly into his diaphragm, winding him.

 ** _"Till there body's lifeless."_**

Her claws slid out and tore into the tiger's shoulder as he moved his paw to deflect the cleaver.

 ** _"You're dead."_**

She swung the cleaver, Reidak blocked, his billy club shaking from the impact.

 ** _"You're dead."_**

She swung the cleaver, Reidak blocked but his billy club flying out of his grip upon impact.

 ** _"You're dead now!"_**

Or he would have been had he not dodged in time. Dianbo shot his whip forwards, the metal wrapping around Safi's paw. He pulled backwards, preventing her from stabbing the tiger.

One assassin raised a paw. "So now that you're fighting our target, are we meant to fight you, or her?"

 ** _"When I treat someone kind."_**

Safi kicked to the side, forcing Reidak to block once more. She spun round and pounced forwards, using the pull of Dianbo's whip to help fly forwards through the air, her cleaver gleaming hungrily.

 ** _"They always die."_**

Li I collided with her mid-air, letting her crash into one of her cheap, collapsible tables.

"So that's why you're always mean." Chuckled the rabbit. Dianbo was glaring at him. "Oh come on! She would have killed you!"

Safi flipped back to her feet, tossing the cleaver into the air she caught it by the blade, her eyes narrowed in concentration.

 ** _"But I cannot be charged with a crime."_**

She hurled it at an unsuspecting assassin, who was quick enough to remember their training and duck. By the time they were back on their feet Safi's knee slammed into their chin.

 ** _"I get away with murder all the time."_**

Twisting round she got behind the assassin and squeezed as tightly as she could around their throat.

 ** _"Yeah that's right."_**

She was forced to drop the killer and retrieve her cleaver as Jiao'ao's sword only just missed her.

"Oh come on, you too? We're meant to be protecting her!" Dianbo whined.

"She's the one attempting murder!" Protested the peacock, before he was suddenly forced to parry her blade as it went for his head.

 ** _"Instagram haters."_**

Jiao'ao's large sword, while impressive and deadly on the battlefield, was more of a hindrance in the closed environment, where he couldn't get enough space to swing it.

 ** _"And Twitter Trolls."_**

He was forced to drop the sword altogether when she spun out of his downwards slash and aimed the cleaver at his wings.

 ** _"I Direct Message them."_**

Jiao'ao spun round, sliding his train into her legs, dropping her onto her back.

 ** _"A sweet hello."_**

The avian followed up with a downwards swing of his train, which the feline managed to roll away from.

 ** _"And when they read it."_**

Rolling backwards Safi hopped back up. She swung in a wide arc in front of her, and the peacock was lucky his throat was spared.

 ** _"At first they're smiling."_**

Kunjingle caught the paw holding the cleaver, and lifted her into the air.

 ** _"But soon they are dying."_**

Safi kicked out, her legs however did minimal damage to the large ursine.

 ** _"I don't use violence."_**

The feline did a full flip, wrapping her legs around the bear's neck.

 ** _"I kill em with kindness."_**

She twisted, trying to get him off balance, but was unable to. Pulling her by the paw he tossed her forwards, where she hit the ground rolling. A crowd of nearby audience members and assassins shrieked in terror and raced to the side. She made to follow them but was blocked by Dianbo.

 ** _"It's worse-"_**

She stabbed forwards, but the jackal dodged.

 ** _"Than a-"_**

Safi leapt into the air and spun backwards, her leg shot out to meet the canine's nose, but Dianbo ducked. Safi landed on the ground behind him.

 ** _"Kick in the privates."_**

She kicked him. Hard. On the back for the first time in the evening. Dianbo fell on his face.

 ** _"If I feel slighted."_**

He rolled to the side to avoid the cleaver, but caught a stomp to the stomach at the same time.

 ** _"You should be frightened."_**

Releasing the now-stuck cleaver, Safi brought her paw down on Dianbo's throat.

 ** _"Cos I'll-"_**

The jackal coughed and instinctively grabbed her paw with both of his own.

 ** _"Explode-"_**

Her claws dug into his thorax. Little by little.

 ** _"Your head now!"_**

For a split second Dianbo was sure she was going to end him. Rip out his throat and let him drown in his own blood.

Then Han Guan's tiny claws tore through the necklace, which fell to the ground.

Safi blinked, as the blood lust faded from her eyes. Had she really been about to kill someone? I mean he was ruining her show... but killing someone? She brought her claws back in, and stood up, while Han Guan helped the jackal back to his feet.

"I... I'm sorry." She genuinely was. There was no act, no facade, nothing.

"It's alright." The jackal responded, nursing his throat. He tried to give her a smile, but was not able to force one.

"But that's what you get when you ruin my show! Now leave, or I really will rip out your thorax!"

Dianbo blinked. _After all he'd done for her..._

He had no more time to think as the Singh Box threw itself around his neck.

 **"Didn't forget about me did you? Hahaha! Well then, how about a performance you'll never forget?** "

"Er Safi-chan... I think you should leave." Han Guan gulped audibly, getting into his stance. Lang was right about the demon... clearly.

 ** _"Oh-hoh-hoh-hoah."_**

Dianbo entered his stance, with a grin that definitely did not belong on his face.

 ** _"Oh-hoh-hoh-hoah."_**

Han Guan gulped again, as sweat began to pour out of him. How was he meant to fight someone he cared about?

 ** _"Oh-hoh-hoh-hoah."_**

Dianbo cracked his metal whip. The wolverine and the jackal weren't exactly close, but Dianbo had never been rude to him, or violent.

 ** _"Oh-hoh-hoh-hoah."_**

Dianbo kicked the handle of the cleaver, watching as the great gleaming blade spun in the air above them both.

 ** _"Safi-chan! I told you to leave!"_**

"You're not the boss of me!" Hissed the cat.

 ** _"Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting!"_**

Roughly shoving Safi out of the way of the whip, Han Guan tried to catch the weapon in his claws... though their diminished size prevented him from doing so.

 ** _"Those kicks were fast as lightning!"_**

The first kick Han blocked with his elbow pads, the second he had to flatten his ears to avoid, and the third he caught with his knee.

 ** _"In fact, it was a little bit frightening!"_**

Unfortunately his current stance left him standing on one leg, which the jackal easily swept out from under him, so that the mustelid fell to the floor.

 ** _"But they fought with expert timing!"_**

He raised both knees to block Dianbo's next kick, before flipping back to his feet. Han followed up with a jab aimed for the necklace. He missed. Because normally his claws gave him a much greater reach.

 ** _"There were funky China men from funky Chinatown!_** "

His comrades were busy battling the remains of the Order of the Owl, and Li I in particular was having difficulty fighting off Safi's background dancers by himself. Why they were fighting Han Guan wanted to know... but also knew that now was not the best time for it.

 ** _"They were chopping them up!"_**

Han backed away from a kick that would have uppercut him.

 ** _"They were chopping them down!"_**

He brought both elbows up to block the jackal's next kick, one that naturally, came from mid-air.

 ** _"It's an ancient Chinese art!"_**

Han let the claws on his elbow pads pop out, before he swapped into the offensive with a double elbow strike.

 ** _"And everybody knew their part!"_**

Dianbo weaved in and out of the elbows, before he went back into the offensive.

 ** _"From a feinting, to a slip!"_**

Surprisingly neither feinted, nor slipped in for a hit. Han was too busy blocking.

 ** _"And a kickin' from the hip!"_**

The wolverine was hit directly in the gut, with, you guessed it, a kick from the hip.

 ** _"Everybody was Kung Fu fighting!"_**

Dianbo, shot his whip forwards, and it curled round Han Guan's paw. The jackal pulled the wolverine down, and delivered a roundhouse kick to the mustelid's unprotected muzzle.

 ** _"Those kicks were fast as lightning!"_**

Two more followed the first and slammed into the wolverine's muzzle, before Dianbo followed up with a third, more powerful spinning kick. Three teeth shot out of his mouth.

 ** _"In fact it was a little bit frightening!"_**

Han fell to the floor, but Dianbo gave him no respite. And kicked him in the eye.

 ** _"But they fought with expert timing!"_**

As another kick slammed into the wolverine's eye, Han Guan made his move and brought his fist down on Dianbo's other foot.

 ** _"There was funky Billie Chin and little Sammy Chong!"_**

The mustelid then spun on the floor, letting Dianbo fall to the floor next to him.

 ** _"He said, here comes the big boss, let's get it on!"_**

Han Guan got back up slower than Dianbo, and payed dearly for it. The jackal landed a kick to his rump, and let him fall forwards, where he collided with a table.

 ** _"We took the bow and made a stand!"_**

To the wolverine's surprise the furniture didn't collapse on him.

 ** _"Started swaying with the hand!"_**

He spun away, and Dianbo's foot crashed into the table... not breaking it.

 ** _"A sudden motion made me skip!"_**

The jackal was now hopping around on one foot, nursing the other. And Han Guan knew exactly why it had hurt him.

 ** _"Now we're into a brand new trip!"_**

"Ironwood-sama... my old friend."

 ** _"Everybody was Kung Fu fighting!"_**

He retreated backwards, and let Dianbo's kick hit the air his nose had previously occupied.

 ** _"Those kicks were fast as lightning!"_**

Han Guan hopped onto the table, only for the whip to wrap around his foot. Dianbo pulled, and Han fell on his back. On top of the ironwood table.

 ** _"In fact it was a little bit frightening!"_**

He rolled away from the lash of the jackal's whip. Before blocking the next one with his elbow-claws.

 ** _"But they did it with expert timing!"_**

Once more Han jabbed forwards. Once more he missed by a foot. He growled. "Dammit claws!" He raised a knee to block Dianbo's kick. "Why can't you grow quicker!" He whined.

 ** _"Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh, ha!"_**

The wolverine kept backing away from the jackal's wide, sweeping kicks.

 ** _"Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh, ha!"_**

He hopped into the air to avoid a wide, sweeping blow.

 ** _"Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh-ha!"_**

And was pulled down to his knees by Dianbo's whip.

 ** _"Keep on, keep on, keep on!"_**

His elbows shielded his face from Dianbo's subsequent kicks.

 ** _"Sure enough!"_**

Han rolled forwards, into the jackal's legs. And brought Dianbo down. He jabbed at the necklace, and this time it did not miss.

 ** _"Everybody was Kung Fu fighting!"_**

The Singh Box shot forwards, at first trying to get a grip on Han Guan's throat, but the wolverine managed to catch it in his paws, and held it as tight as he could.

"Han." Panted Dianbo. Why did his feet feel like they had kicked ironwood tables? "W-what did that thing do to me?"

 ** _"Those kicks were fast as lightning!"_**

"Er nothing much Dianbo-sama. You just got possessed."

 ** _"In fact it was a little bit frightening!"_**

Dianbo glanced around, until his eyes lay on Safi's unconscious form. He gasped. "Did I do that?"

 ** _"Make sure you have expert timing!"_**

"No, I did." Han strained, the box was quite difficult to pin down. He felt ashamed for a moment. Stupid Han. Stupid Han. "Sorry."

 ** _"Kung Fu fighting, had to be fast as lightning..."_**

Dianbo shook his head. "Don't be. She deserved it."

The wolverine's eyes widened. "I thought you-"

"It's like Li said... she doesn't deserve someone like me."

Han raised an eyebrow. "I agree and all, but when you word it like that it sounds really arrogant."

"How does, she's not the right type for me sound?" Spat the jackal.

"Better. Much better." Han Guan grinned.

"So what happened?"

"Well me and you had a fight." Han started.

Dianbo's face fell. Guilt forming on his features. "I didn't hurt you did I?"

"No. No of course not. I won. Easily." He grinned, showing off three missing teeth.

"Okay you are boring!" The Singh Box suddenly shot out from between Han Guan's paws, like a bar of soap would. "Time to find someone else to play with!"

Han pounced forwards, as did Dianbo. Both collided and the Singh Box skipped over to Reidak.

The tiger saw it coming and swatted it back into the ground.

Both jackal and wolverine breathed a sigh of relief.

Then it shot back up before Reidak could react and wrapped itself around the tiger's throat.

"Oh no." Said both jackal and wolverine.

* * *

 _Footnote: Han Guan hasn't really had many fights in this story. I mean he got beaten up by Mulaohu, which technically doesn't really count since it was mostly a stomp match. He also had the duel with Wong. And he was in the First Task... but aside from that he really ahsn't been doing much in terms of combat. Emotionally though he's done a lot. ( I could even argue he is the deutargonist... though Li I could fill that role almost as easily), though I like to think of this more as an ensemble piece, viewed mostly from Saras' point of view... wherein no character is more important than another. Of course I can't really follow this role to a T.  
_

 _This opens up an interesting question I haven't given much thought to. Who is Saras' closest friend? At first I always thought of Babirasu or Aang... but he's actually quite distant from them. Babirasu I gave a much more minor role in this story to build up some mystery around him. I mean he was already mysterious, but I decided to up the level a little bit. Li I and Kunjingle are also close... but Saras isn't as emotionally attached to them as he is to Han Guan or even Shan Qu to some extent (though Shan Qu is highly underused...)._

 _Weird that this chapter wasn't actually about their relation, but I tend to ramble in these Footnotes anyway._

 _This chapter was fun because as fun as it is that 'everyone has a gimmick' Han Guan and Dianbo are 'normal' fighters, as in they don't have any magical abilities. One could say Han Guan's claws are kind of a 'gimmick' and yeah everyone has a gimmick, but when your character list is as large as mine it's refreshing to see these two._

 _When I say 'normal' fighters I mean characters who use moves that would be semi-possible in real life. I'm not saying I choreograph my fights by pretending to hit imaginary opponents... I definitely do not do that, and not everything they can do is humanly possible (extending claws/nails would look weird on a human. I mean the lieral nails, not the knuckles like the fake wolverine Wolverine). Surprisingly it's a pretty small niche in the fandom. And I won a lot of characters... and know even more. So to continue my essay..._

 _Reidak could count, but super-senses._

 _Lang could count, but Hand of Chaos._

 _Mulaohu could count, but... actually scrolls holding weapons is a definite no-no._

 _Kunjingle... he's in a very Grey area in this. I mean all of it is 'natural', but not very... natural because even if you tense a punch is a punch._

 _Jin, Hei Zei and Lang are 'normal' fighters. I know they're not in this story but in Footnotes I generally talk about my stories as a whole._

 _So 'normal' fighters are rare... but fun to use. I could actually make this into a list...  
_

 _I actually had a lot of trouble writing this, mostly coz I was putting it off. But then I just sat down and started writing and this whole thing came out. Wow. I love it when that happens._

 _On another note, I like the style of musical fights, though I don't think I'll be taking them anywhere else. This is kind of a trippy portion of House of Tamod, and while something like this could work... really well in Hercules... I think I've heard enough music for now. Though... we're only halfway._

 _Kill Em With Kindness belongs to Selena Gomez, but I used a parody of it, found on Youtube, again by Bart Baker. Kung Fu Fighting was reccomended by Berserker88, but I'd have probably used it anyways since it is such a classic. It might as well be the KFP themesong... which reminds me..._

 _TLDR XD_


	44. Ballad of the Blind Tiger

**A/N: Okay quick note. The first part of this chapter takes place during the previous chapter's events. I didn't want to disrupt the flow of the music (feels weird to type that on a fanfiction) so I put Lang Vs Cin Part II here.**

Her blade deflected his spearhead, forcing it into the wall. She followed up with a swift downwards stroke that narrowly missed his ear. The red panda replied with a vicious swing for her knee, but the assassin was quick on her feet and managed to avoid the blow. Freeing his spear he swung the weapon in a wide arc in front of him, forcing the lynx to back further away. Unfortunately, Safi did not have that much of a budget when she had built her place, and Cin Lin's foot fell through the balcony. The bag of boulders slammed into the side of her head.

Grabbing her by the front of her cowl, he pressed the point of his spear against her throat. "Where is he?" He demanded, a snarl rising over his muzzle.

Before Cin Lin could give a reply, Saras crashed through the balcony from below. And with him came Duyao. The fox rolled to the side, as the frog's fist crashed into the floorboards, sending a shock wave that made a large chunk of the second floor landing come crashing down. And brought the four of them down with it.

Duyao leapt forwards while Saras ducked. The frog got Lang instead, and both rolled forwards. The red panda brought his feet up and kicked forwards, throwing the frog off of him. Cin Lin freed her foot from the rubble. Saras did a leg sweep from behind that knocked her off her feet. He followed up with a jab that the lynx rolled away from. The feline followed up with a slash of her dagger that would have sliced into his feet, had Lang not barreled into him.

"Thanks." Panted the fox.

Lang did not reply and stabbed forwards with the spear. Cin Lin parried, once, twice and a third time. Until the red panda twisted the spear mid-strike, throwing her dagger out of her paw. The assassin did not skip a beat and went in with a leg sweep. Lang stumbled and in came the lynx's claws. His paw was sliced open and his spear was wrenched from his grip. Before Cin Lin could use it against him, he kicked hard. The lynx fell backwards and brought her feet into Lang's chest before he could follow up with a punch.

The red panda slid backwards on the ground, while Cin Lin got back to her feet.

Briefly she analyzed the battleground. Most of her men were knocked out by now. Fire had consumed most of the second floor landing, some infernal music was playing in the background, her employer was trying to kill her first target and a bunch of the competitors were fighting each other... this made no sense.

The time for contemplation could wait, right now she had to get out of here as fast as possible. She charged towards Lang, who stood his ground until she came within striking distance. The lynx jumped over his swing and onto his head before pouncing onto the balcony. She landed in a crouch, and made her way through one of the burning rooms.

Lang growled as he retrieved his spear. "You are _not_ getting away!" He took a running start before vaulting onto the balcony and pursuing the assassin through the window. Pulling himself up to the roof he broke into a sprint as Cin Lin made to leap off.

"You are _persistent_." She hissed, as she side-stepped his charge.

The red panda did not reply beyond growling. He tore a tile off of the roof and launched it at her, Cin Lin ducked it but was taken by surprise by the one that followed it.

Lang charged forwards, his paws clenched tightly into fists, when the round, leathery ball of Saras the Armadillo burst through the roof. Without hesitation (or probably because he wasn't entirely sure of what it was) Lang grabbed it and hurled it at Cin Lin. The force of the blow made Saras dizzy and broke the lynx's nose.

Uncurling the shapeshifter rubbed at a very sore back. It was a testament to how annoyed he was that he had the audacity to glare at the red panda's back.

But it was probably not the best thing to be doing right now. Either way this was probably not a conversation Lang would want him to hear. And between an angry Lang and an angry Duyao... wasn't it better the devil you know than the devil you don't?

"I'm only going to ask this once! Where is he?"

"Who's he?" Came the assassin's deadpanned, and slightly nasally response.

"Yeah, who is he?" Saras unfortunately, really could not resist.

Unsurprisingly, Lang rounded on him. "None of your damn business!"

Surprisingly, Cin Lin did as well. "Why are you here?" She turned to Lang. "Why didn't you let me kill him?"

"Why won't _you_ tell me where the hell he is? And you know exactly who I'm talking about so DO NOT play games with me!"

"Some secret mission somewhere not here Lang. Like I know."

The red panda seemed to be turning a shade of red very similar to a volcano on the verge of eruption.

Perhaps the other devil was better... Quietly Saras made his way to the other side of the roof. Suddenly, Duyao's webbed hand shot through the tiles and grabbed his foot, before she pulled him down into the inferno.

* * *

Reidak grinned so widely one could count his perfectly white teeth. Then he opened his mouth and began singing.

 ** _"She said: " How may I help you?"_**

Han turned to Dianbo. "Okay, priority number one, is to get the necklace off of him."

"Right."

 ** _"And then I smelled poo!"_**

Dianbo paused. "Before we get him. What song was I singing?"

"Well I don't know the name, but it was something like 'Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting."

The jackal breathed a small sigh of relief. "Okay. Now I'm ready."

 ** _"I looked all around me I even checked my shoes,"_**

Reidak's billy cub slammed into the side of a bald bird with a sickening crunch.

 ** _"The burning in my eyes then I realized:"_**

He marched forwards with menacing intent towards an old turtle who looked like he was going to wet himself.

 ** _"Is that your breath, or did you just fart?"_**

He brought the club down onto the reptile's head, but the old man was quick enough to bring his head back into his shell.

 ** _"Is that your breath, or did you just fart?"_**

Dianbo's whip shot out, aiming for Reidak's left leg. But the tiger heard the minute cracking sound it made, and hopped over it. He followed up by throwing his billy club at the canine.

 ** _"Is that your breath or did you just fart?"_**

Han Guan came from the side, but Reidak smelled him from a mile away, and kicked him backwards before his stench could come any closer.

"Oh no!" Moaned Li I, tugging at his ears. "Now Reidak's singing!"

Kunjingle snapped his claws, stomped his feet and bitch-slapped an assassin.

"I know he's not doing it _badly!_ But he's possessed!"

"Not for long." Came Li II's reply.

 ** _"Tell me, I want to know."_**

The dart closed the distance before Reidak could react and tore through the rope around the tiger's neck. The necklace fell to the ground and the Russian was free.

"What happened?" He gasped, out of breath from all the singing. He was quite out of practice...

Before anyone could answer him the Singh Box shot back up around his neck. The tiger's eyes must have narrowed behind his bandana, for suddenly he seemed a lot more serious.

 _ **"Hear the legends of the Kung Fu Panda!"**_

"Oh no." Said... everyone.

 _ **"Raised in a noodle shop, never seeking glory or fame,"**_

Reidak charged forwards, where he swung for both Li's simultaneously. Li I was pulled out of the way of the blind tiger's fist, but Li II was billy-clubbed in the face and fell backwards.

 ** _"He climbed a mountain top and earned the Dragon Warrior name."_**

Kunjingle took the tiger's next blow in his wrist, before following up with his own punch. But Reidak was quicker, and sidestepped it. He feigned a punch to the gut, which Kunjingle tensed, but slammed his billy club into his untensed muzzle.

 ** _"Ooh Ah Ya!"_**

Two swift punches followed, but the bear tanked them, before he headbutted the feline backwards.

 ** _"Kung Fu Panda!"_**

Reidak tumbled backwards, before he rolled back to his feet. He tossed his remaining billy club at Jiao'ao's head, who swiftly deflected it with his sword. By the time the peafowl had lowered the weapon, Reidak had closed the gap between them and was flying through the air, foot-first.

"Master Shifu saw the warrior blossom,"

Jiao'ao was stunned by the blow, and punched in the beak for good measure. Reidak made to pick up Jiao'ao's large sword, but Dianbo's whip wrapped itself around it's handle before his paw could. Reidak kicked the handle hard, making the blade spin on the floor. It sliced through the table and chair legs, and almost cut off both Dianbo's feet, before it finally crashed into a wooden pillar in the corner of the inn.

"I hope that's not important." Muttered Dianbo.

 _ **"And master the skills of bodacious and awesome!"**_

The jackal twisted to the side to avoid the feine's roundhouse kick. Reidak followed up with a leg sweep that Dianbo dodged, but knocked Han off his feet.

 ** _"Kung Fu Panda!"_**

Li I shot three darts in the tiger's direction. Reidak blocked all of them, before he caught Dianbo by the paw and squeezed hard. The jackal clamped his teeth shut through the pain, as he went in for a roundhouse kick of his own. The tiger caught it before it reached his head, and lifted the jackal off the ground, before throwing him forwards.

 ** _"He lives and he trains and he fights with the Furious Five,"_**

Li I made his dart-throwing motion, before he realized that he had none left to throw. He threw open his fan and went for the tiger's feet. But Reidak heard him coming, and slammed his foot down on the rabbit while the bunny was in mid-swing.

 ** _"Protect the valley something, something, something, something alive!_**  
 ** _Ooh Ah Ya!_**  
 ** _Kung Fu Panda!_**  
 ** _Legends of Awesomeness."_**

Li I pulled himself back to his feet. "I _hate_ that song."

Reidak promptly kicked him away.

 ** _"Sweet!"_**

"What are his weaknesses?!" Exclaimed Jiao'ao as he went low with his train.

 ** _"Tension is rising,"_**

The tiger effortlessly avoided the peacock's attack, before he unsheathed his claws.

 ** _"Gravity hurts,"_**

So did Kunjingle's tensed stomach getting in the way of one's slash.

 ** _"Everything's fallin' apart,"_**

Reidak brought his knee up, but the bear's stomach proved too strong for this blow as well.

 ** _"Choosin' the right side,"_**

The bear grabbed the tiger by the head and slammed him into his belly, bouncing the feline up to the second floor. Despite crashing through a wall into a room that was on fire Reidak kept singing.

 ** _"Choosin' our faith_**  
 ** _Choosin' is what we must do_**  
 ** _Everyone's counting on you!"_**

"Reidak is a close range, average-height, very muscled fighter who is blind but can see because all his other senses are ridiculously strong." Li I summarized, his foot tapping on the ground. "I think the only way to beat the demon is to beat him, so we're going to have to play dirty."

 ** _"For freedom we rise!"_**

Reidak pounced down from the second floor, now wielding a flamingt mattress of his own, which he threw at Kunjingle.

 ** _"Learn to fly, reach the sky!"_**

While the bear was busy putting out the fire, Reidak uppercut Li I into the air, before kicking his form square in the chest as the gravity brought the bunny back down.

Li I collided with Saras, and both rolled on the ground.

 ** _"Legend will carry you thousands of miles,"_**

"Oh hey Shifty, how are things going for you?"

 ** _"Take a stand, hold the land,"_**

"Well I found out who's trying to kill me... and she's trying to kill me." He indicated Duyao, who was charging forwards at breakneck speeds. She was stopped however, when a large part of the second floor collapsed on top of her. "To be honest I feel like this is my lucky night."

"Make sure that everyone's ready to win,"

"Where's Lang?"

"He's fighting Cin Lin on the roof."

"Well if you need us Shifty, we'll be over there... fighting Reidak."

 ** _"Find the speed, all you need."_**

Reidak's speed however, had still failed to penetrate Kunjingle's defensive stance.

 ** _"Battle is all in you mind."_**

Kunjingle grabbed the feline and tossed him backwards, where Han Guan was waiting with a chair. It would have been a knock-out blow if not for the assassin that so rudely shoved Han aside, only for Reidak to knock him out.

 ** _"Mind."_**

"Right, we need foul scents, or a noise that everyone hates."

 ** _"We fly."_**

"Safi's voice!" Suggested Han, before remembering he had accidentally knocked her out. "Er, my voice!"

 ** _"Gravity hurts."_**

"No!" Li I shot back. "We need something worse! Something like... chalk on a blackboard!"

 ** _"Creatures keep coming!"_**

"There is no blackboard!" Came Jiao'ao's deadpanned reply.

 ** _"Reaching within!"_**

"Gah, where's Flower when you need him? I'll tell you this, one whiff and that tiger will be out cold for months!"

 ** _"Stealthy they climb from the dark."_**

"What if we got a gong, and we started hitting the gong really hard in an out-of-tune way?"

 ** _"Searching for wisdom."_**

"I know! Sing Justin Beiber songs!" Came Chaonao. "That necklace made me listen to all of them in the space of one second..." The parrot shivered. "It was horrible! SQUAWK!"

 ** _"Searching for truth,"_**

Reidak found an axe and tested it, swinging it into a nearby wooden pillar.

"How about we get everyone out of here?" Suggested Dianbo.

 ** _"Show us the things you can do,"_**

Kunjingle wolf-whistled, snapped his fingers three times and winked.

"That's a good idea actually, let's do that."

 ** _"Maybe it's all up to you,"_**

They all turned to see Reidak bringing an axe into the last wooden pillar.

"I have a very not good feeling that that was important..." Said Han Guan.

Suddenly, the whole building lurched down, as if something was pulling it down.

Safi's Background dancers emerged from behind a capsized table to provide some helpful exposition. "Those are the pillars holding this place up... without them we'll all sink into mud!"

The building gave another violent lurch downwards, and suddenly the sound of screaming filled the room.

"Okay... new plan. Kunjingle, you get everyone out of here!"

"Um Li... the door's leaking mud." Jiao'ao pointed out.

Han was staring up. "If this whole place is coming down then... shouldn't we go up?"

"Yes! Yes excellent!" Li I watched as Reidak continued singing and dancing his stupid over-serious song. This was an emergency! "Okay Kunjingle, you get everyone out of here! Every assassin, backup dancer and poor animal that thought Safi could sing. Oh and Hong Ze, get him out too. Oh and Safi I guess as well... though we can throw her back into the mud afterwards. The rest of us now just have to deal with Reidak."

* * *

 _Footnote: Last time Lang vs Cin Lin was shoehorned in the last minute of the last task as a clever way to get him out of the way so that I could go on my killing spree. I didn't like that very much, so I moved it here. Now you may be wondering what his deal with Cin Lin is... you know I actually know nothing XD I'm not even sure if it's still canon that Lang is hunting 'him' what with the promise of a remastery of Silence of the Hare... coming soon... anytime now_

 _(I don't even know who 'he' is)  
_

 _But all jokes aside (though it's more of an exaggeration rather than a joke) Lang is fun to write. The cast wouldn't be balance out if we didn't have someone who's always angry. (I know there's more to him than that people please put down your pitchforks). I mean Han Guan, Li I, Kunjingle are all very merry people, Saras, Jiao'ao, Reidak and Dianbo are a bit more serious but are also a lot I don't know... softer, while Lang (belonging to Mind Jack, who I like to think of as the DC to my Marvel (though mine is also quite dark so it would probably be his DC to Berserker88's Marvel with me in the middle?) (and yes I know there's more to all this can I not simplify things?) is more of the grumpy one._

 _Now this arc is coming to a close soon, because while it can in theory go on forever (there is no lack of music in this world) the story must also continue._

 _Is that your breath or did you just fart, was recommended by lionkingfactsguy3._

 _Gravity Hurts was recommended by Gravity Hurts._

 _The LoA theme-song was an opportunity for me to make fun of that... thing. Honestly... the themesong was the worst part of that series. Not that there were many things that were good in that... thing.  
_

 _Enjoy!_


	45. Inn In The Mud

Of course dealing with Reidak was much easier said than done. Dianbo learned this the hard way when he tried and failed to get a free kick in. The tiger caught it his foot in his paw, and swung the jackal into Li I. They freed themselves from one another just as Reidak brought the axe into the wooden floor. Mud shot up, and landed the first real hit on the tiger.

 _ **"This is the song that never ends**_  
 _ **Yes it goes on and on my friend**_  
 _ **Some people started singing it**_  
 _ **Not knowing what it was**_  
 _ **But people kept singing it just because!"**_

"Now we're sinking! Kunjingle, hurry up!" Li I was panicking now, only just managing to flatten his ears before they were sliced right off. "Jiao'ao! What are you doing?!"

The peacock was trying and failing to free his sword from the pillar. "What does it look like I'm doing?!" He shot back through breath that was strained.

"Nothing!" Li hopped up, letting the axe bury into the wood his feet had been occupying. Mud began gushing in from this second leak.

"This sword is worth more to me than you are!" Snapped the avian, finally freeing his blade.

 ** _"This is the song that never ends_**  
 ** _Yes it goes on and on my friend_**  
 ** _Some people started singing it_**  
 ** _Not knowing what it was_**  
 ** _But people kept singing it just because!"_**

"That... is actually hurtful." The rabbit bounded backwards, the tiger in hot pursuit, the axe repeatedly tearing open the wood. Dianbo's whip curled around the tiger's paw, and he pulled, bringing the tiger's face into the wood. The jackal leapt forwards to follow up with a kick, but the feline was faster and turned round, before rapidly planting both feet into the canine's chest. Dianbo came crashing back down. Before Reidak could smash his spine in, Jiao'ao swung his train low. The feline was faster, and dodged. Jiao'ao continued his offensive, swinging his blade at his opponent.

 ** _"This is the song that never ends_**  
 ** _Yes it goes on and on my friend_**  
 ** _Some people started singing it_**  
 ** _Not knowing what it was_**  
 ** _But people kept singing it just because!"_**

"How about we all attack him at once?" Suggested Dianbo, kicking the axe out of the tiger's paw, before he was head-butted onto the only table left standing.

"Good idea!"

Jiao'ao aimed for Reidak's feet, while Li I bounced off of a wall to reach the tiger's head. Reidak hopped onto Jiao'ao's blade, his weight pulled the blade out of the avian's grip, and Li missed his mark completely and flew into a wall. Jiao'ao was promptly kicked in the chest.

"Bad idea!" The rabbit rubbed his forehead hard enough to tear his fur off... if he had claws. "You know what I find weird? When _you_ fought him Dianbo, you were all evenly matched and everything, but now you can't fight him with me and Jiao'ao's help."

"Yes, well... I don't know! We were in an arena!"

"What has that got to do with anything?"

"Actually, you're right! You were in an arena, with Chaonao and cheering crowds and everything. He wasn't as good _there_ because there was so much of everything! A thousand smells and sounds! It's too much to process! So in theory we can overflow his senses. Okay, huddle!"

All three went into a huddle.

 ** _"This is the song that never ends_**  
 ** _Yes it goes on and on my friend_**  
 ** _Some people started singing it_**  
 ** _Not knowing what it was_**  
 ** _But people kept singing it just because!"_**

Reidak unsheathed his claws and was about to bring them down on Dianbo's back, when Han Guan burst through what was left of the stage covered in mud from head to toe, holding a small pink bottle in one paw.

"I've got it! The strongest perfume in Safi's cabinet!"

All eyes turned to him, except for Kunjingle's. The bear was busy lifting a tortoise shell on top of his head. He was already weighed down by a pile of assassins, Chaonao, Safi's backup dancers, and the rest of the unfortunate audience. The bear was barely visible under all the other people.

"One whiff off this and Reidak-sama won't ever smell anything the same way! Muahahahahaahahahahahaha! Okay, that was a little bit of an exaggeration, but if we knock him out we get the necklace off right?" Only then did he realize that while his plan to block Reidak's nose was a good idea, it wasn't that great an idea if the tiger heard it.

 ** _"This is the song that never ends_**  
 ** _Yes it goes on and on my friend_**  
 ** _Some people started singing it_**  
 ** _Not knowing what it was_**  
 ** _But people kept singing it just because!"_**

The tiger pounced onto the stage, his claws fully unsheathed. He swung for the wolverine, who ducked. The feline kicked Han's paw hard, and the bottle flew into the air, where it spun, before Reidak caught it in his paw. He hit the mustelid on the muzzle. The bottle was wrenched from his grip by Dianbo's whip, and spun through the air once more, before it finally landed in Li I's paw.

"YES! I got it!" He was promptly kicked by the blind tiger, who's paw tightened hard around the bottle.

Jiao'ao's sword cleaved the Ironwood table clean in two, so that now not a single piece of furniture was left whole. Reidak slashed at the peafowl, who was forced to back away.

 ** _"This is the song that never ends_**  
 ** _Yes it goes on and on my friend_**  
 ** _Some people started singing it_**  
 ** _Not knowing what it was_**  
 ** _But people kept singing it just because!"_**

Dianbo came from behind, his legs wrapped around the tiger's neck and he twisted with his hips. This maneuver forced Reidak into the mud, but the tiger rolled around so that he was on top of the jackal. The feline sat up, lifting Dianbo with him, before he brought himself back down, and the canine with him. Winded, with mud clinging onto his back, all Dianbo could do was hold on as tight as he could, and perhaps, strangle the feline.

"A-" Reidak lifted him. "Little-" Reidak slammed him into the mud. "Help." Rinse. And. Repeat.

After what felt like eternity the tiger stood up completely and grabbed at Dianbo's head with his paws. He threw the jackal over his head and into the mud.

Jiao'ao was back on the offensive, coming in with swing after wide swing. Reidak kept backing away from the peacock, not wanting to get hit. Mr Singh was no longer singing.

 ** _"I really don't see what all the fuss is about! I haven't been to this world in fifty years and all I wanted was one night of fun, and all of you are hellbent on ending it. Now really! I haven't killed anyone! If I hurt you it was in self-defense. The people came here for a show and I gave it to them and yall want to shut me down again! It's not fair!"_**

"You _are_ possessing my friends." Jiao'ao pointed out curtly, now forced to dodge a particularly reckless swing Reidak Tor Pre Visla III would never had done.

"Oh so we are your friends! But you said your sword was more valuable." Li I blurted out, his paws crossed over his chest. "I demand an apology!"

"Is this really the time?" Hissed the peafowl, now backing away from violent swings he could not parry without hurting the host.

A brightly-coloured dart Li I had recovered from somewhere in the mud landed in the tiger's paw, forcing him to drop the bottle of perfume. "Nope! Just distracting him!"

Han Guan dove for the pink bottle, but was kicked aside by the tiger, who then kicked the perfume itself as far away from him as physically possible. It landed, and sunk under the rising mud.

"No! Han find that! Find it quick!" But the wolverine had already sucked in as much air as he could and, cheeks bulging, dove into the mud.

The Reidak that was not under Reidak's control roared with rage, and slammed his fist into Jiao'ao's beak. The peacock stumbled and was uppercut for good measure. The tiger's claws went for the kill when Dianbo's whip held them back. For a moment they strained, before Reidak released another mighty roar, and pulled forwards, dragging the jackal towards his waiting kick. Li I barreled into the tiger's other leg, and brought him splashing into the mud.

"I found it! I found it!" Han shot out of the mud, looking in completely the wrong direction and holding a pair of- "Underwear!?" He dropped it hastily and wiped his paws on his mud-soaked torso. "That is disgusting! Who on earth leaves their underwear lying around?!" The wolverine dove back under the mud.

It was by good fortune that Saras was slammed down on top of the rising Reidak. Duyao followed swiftly with a mighty scream, as she came down from above. The fox teleported out of the way. But Mr Singh was not so lucky. The frog's fist slammed into the top of the lizard-skull-shape, and caved it in. Duyao did not skip a beat and was after the shapeshifter in a second. The tiger stirred, and Reidak's voice spoke out.

"Guys... w-what happened?" He saw Jiao'ao bleeding from the beak, Li I bruised and beaten, Dianbo slowly rising. He did not see Han Guan before it was too late.

The wolverine, unaware of recent developments, shot out of the mud like a monster from a particularly creative child's nightmare, wielding in one paw the deadly bottle of perfume. "DIE DEMON NECKLACE THING!" He threw the bottle with all his might.

Reidak had enough time to frown before impact. He had endured much pain in his, relatively, short life, but to be so suddenly and so violently assaulted by the stench of Safi's perfume... it was a different kind of pain.

"Hahahahahaha! We did it guys! We defeated the evil Reidak! We're amazing!" The mud-covered, bruised, partially toothless wolverine saying this... had to be amazing to be able to say that.

"That's great. Excellent. Fantastic." Wheezed Dianbo, still reeling from Reidak's powerful kick. "Now, let's get out of here before we have to swim through all this dirt." He grabbed Reidak under one shoulder, while Han Guan held the tiger up by the other.

Li I hopped onto the feline's shoulder. He ripped the necklace off of the tiger's neck and tossed it into the mud. That was when they heard the sound of creaking.

All turned to see the door, straining under mounting pressure.

"Oh no." They said in unison.

* * *

Saras was gradually wearing himself down. Panic was all that stopped him from getting his limbs torn off one by one. But simply put, he was exhausted. He'd been fighting all night, his ears throbbed from horrible music, his body was bruised, his face bloody, his teeth missing, his fur disheveled.

The funny thing was that this was only the third worst beating he'd ever received in his lifetime. In all honesty, he still wasn't sure why he was getting beat up to begin with. From what he'd gathered Badr had once done something horrible and unforgivable to Duyao... and Duyao thought he and Badr were anything more than competitor and host? Perhaps Badr had placed a bet on him?

Duyao herself was spending more energy than he was no doubt, for she had broken roughly half the inn with her bare fists. She charged forwards, her bloody webbed hands clenched so tightly they were white. And Saras teleported. Her fist found a window and broke through it, but the fox was as far behind her as he could go.

The amphibian did not turn as he expected. She stayed very still, her arm still poking out the window. Saras could barely stand from the shaking of his legs. Then she started... sobbing?

"You're crying!?" He blurted out, too tired to think that now was probably his best shot at escaping. "You have been trying to kill me all night and... and you're _crying?_ " Exhaustion, though still present, was temporarily replaced with annoyance. "Is it because you finally realized that I haven't done anything to you? Or is it because you can't? Really? You're crying!" No matter how much he kept saying it he still could not quite get his mind around the fact. "I have met a lot of killers and you are _the first_ who started crying because you couldn't catch one fox! Pathetic! You _are_ pathetic!"

That was when Duyao turned, no sign of tears on her face, holding a swirling ball of green energy in one hand, and in her other, a leaf that looked awfully familiar.

"Oh dear."

That was when the door burst open. That was when Duyao brought herb and ball together. And that was the last thing Saras saw, before he woke up in a world of bright light he'd seen once before.

* * *

"Thank you so much!" Said one bald bird.

"You saved me!" Exclaimed one assassin, whose hood had miraculously not fallen off in all the chaos.

Kunjingle had been hoping to put the people down and head back in to help the others, but everyone had been annoyingly grateful.

"Hey bear!" Said Lang, pushing through the crowd to reach him. "Where are the others?"

Kunjingle turned to point at the still-burning, half-submerged inn that had once been Safi's pride and joy. That was when the mud gave a particularly violent lurch and sucked it down like one would a stray noodle. The bear's eyes widened in horror as soon the house sunk deep into the mud, it's ghosts and hidden secrets disappearing down with it. The flames hissed and died as they came into contact with the thick bog. Like demons dragged back into hell.

The bear raced forwards and dug his paw into the dirt. Instantly he felt something wool and lifted it. It was Saras, though the fox seemed to be sleeping. A few feet to his left Lang found Duyao. Then Li I, Jiao'ao, Dianbo, Han Guan and Reidak emerged, dripping wet and dirty and sore and tired, but alive.

Safi was the first to greet them, with a sound that could only be described as someone's loosing of a limb. She charged towards the edge of the bog, screaming, and screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming. She turned to Dianbo and the others, spluttered incoherently for a bit, then continued screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming until the jackal smacked her clean across the face. That silenced her.

The crowd was unusually silent. Safi stared at the canine with shock written all over her face. Dianbo turned away. "Let's go guys." They turned to leave. Han and the jackal still holding Reidak up by the shoulders, Kunjingle holding Saras by the scruff and Li I limping behind them. Lang unceremoniously dumped the frog on the ground and followed them, his business with Cin Lin over for now.

Before any of them could get any further, no less than twenty armed and armored Imperial Army soldiers marched forwards.

"You're early." Said Li, his paws crossed over his chest. But alas, he was too tired to make any jokes about broken sundials.

"Just in time I think." A dog, wearing clothes far too colourful for the Imperial Army, made his way in front of them. In one paw he held a shiny copper badge, in the other a pair of hand-cuffs. "Imperial Army Detective, I'd like to ask some questions, if you don't mind."

* * *

 _Footnote: Reidak's skillset makes him easily the hardest opponent to get the necklace off of, purely because you can't sneak up on him. That and he's more experienced than pretty much everyone there (except maybe Lang) and arguably stronger (one could make a case for anyone present though) He didn't get to fight anyone in the Third Task (unless you count the minor duel he had with Jiao'ao) so it's a bit fitting he gets to fight everyone now. All of that said though, a dark and evil Reidak would really be a force to be reckoned with.  
_

 _This arc has been fun and it's not fully over yet but I think the highlight for me was when Han Guan found the underwear._

 _Mr Singh's time to shine has come to an end, for better or for worst, though we will see him again in stories set before and after this. Like when we see Gutou again... and in Back in the Day The Tournament... Damn I forgot about that story. Oopsies...  
_

 _This Is The Song That Never Ends was suggested by lionkingfactsguy3 (yes he has five words in one name) and ultimately I decided it fit the tone best. I was going to use Hamster Dance because it was... annoyingly catchy... but decided against it in the end, since The Song That Never Ends fits the semi-climax of this arc best. Two chapters left in this arc and then I'm going to take a little break because... true to my nomadic nature... I will be traveling again. I'm hoping to finish this (lately latest lateness is late December) soon so that I can begin End of An Era, which has been on hold for about four years... yeaaaah. Though considering that that will be my largest fic yet even if I do finish this earlier (which might happen) then I will most likely keep it on hold until New Year to give me some extra planning time. That and to give Back in the Day some tokenistic updates. And update A Grey World. And Hercules. And maybe if I decide how to end it Black and White.  
_

 _I was going to finish up the next chapter and publish that along with this... but then everyone started updating and I started reading and for some reason my reviews get as big as my authors notes._

 _Enjoy and Update soon.  
_


	46. Good Night!

_"The Dreamworld is a realm of wonders. It is where our unconscious minds travel to at bedtime. Here anything and everything is possible. You're all smelling something that is precious to you, because this world opens your mind. Sometimes you'll even think about things you don't know are precious to you and find that they are."_

The first time Wugu had told him this he'd been seated in an arena, surrounded by friends, watching Duyao try and kill Badr. Now he heard the fish's voice once more, like an echo in his mind. He caught the scent of Han Guan and Li I and Kunjingle and Aang and Shan Qu... He shook his head. He needed to focus. He could feel no pain now, he was not tired. One could feel neither in a dream, so neither could be felt in the Dreamworld.

Duyao was nowhere to be seen. "Okay... Duyao, right? As far as I know you can do anything here, so clearly you win. Okay, you win. So er- we have all the time in the world to think things through."

A shadow fell around him, and he gulped as a mountain came crashing down to meet him, summit-first.

* * *

The dog was pitch black on his right side, and pale white on his left. His eyes were hidden under flopping ears, but his nose was sniffing everywhere at once, uncomfortably close to the wolverine. He wore a bright red robe, his copper badge pinned to his chest. Han had never seen something like it. Then again he hadn't spent much time with the Imperial Army.

"Your name is Han Guan..." He sniffed. "Official Sweat. I don't know what kind of psycho could name their kid that, but I have no doubt at one point I've locked them up. You're welcome."

"My mom named me." Han snapped. This dog wouldn't last a minute in the same room as his mother!

"Oh... pity. You're Japanese aren't you? Accent gave it away." He sniffed deeply, a thought coming to his head. "You might want to work on that. Gives you away like a sitting duck. SPY!"

The wolverine was deadpanned. "Really?"

"Yes really! And not just any spy!" The dog sniffed, this time stronger than ever. "Perfume, water, dirt, charred fur, geisha girl make-up, sweat, wolverine fur, bloody gums." He took another deep whiff of the mustelid's smell. "Ah yes... the Spy of the Thousand Scents..."

Now Han was slightly worried. Spies were normally executed, and it was just the kind of stupid thing to happen to him. Though he'd never heard of a spy of a thousand scents. Weren't spies _not_ meant to stand out? He gulped. "Detective-sama, I think you're making a mistake. I'm just here for Badr-sama's tournament. Why would a spy go to a tournament?"

The canine scowled. " _Save it for the judge!_ I'm onto you! Now tell me, what did you do?"

Honesty was the best policy! He was sweating now. "Well I went with the others to stop Safi from getting assassinated. Then the necklace thing possessed her and she started attacking us... then the necklace possessed Dianbo... and then Reidak and we had to beat him and the inn started sinking into the mud and I got some perfume and then I found someone's underwear and then I found the perfume and then I hit Reidak with it. And then..." He trailed off, unsure of how to continue.

The dog grimaced. "I've heard enough. You better hope you get a good lawyer."

The dog nodded and Han was taken away to a holding cell.

Han Guan sat on the bench, his much smaller claws hanging in the air in front of him... What was he supposed to do now?

* * *

One mountain was swiftly followed by another one. He did his best to avoid them, and he was rewarded in his efforts by not getting hit by a single one. That was when he realized that Duyao had never been aiming for him to begin with. He stood in the center of what could only be described as an arena. Duyao hopped down from above, looking more deadly now than she ever did.

The shapeshifter gulped. "P-plea-" The mountains came crashing down with a loud rumbling that cut short his whimper. Shifting into a mole he dove into the white light at his feet, expecting to dig through it as easily as he dug through the earth. To his horror, it was like digging into rubber. His claws found no purchase and though the ground bent and twisted, it would not give him the escape route he desired.

* * *

Jiao'ao watched the dog with disinterest. How typical of him to get himself arrested. At least his father wasn't here to see it.

"And you are?" The canine's nose was uncomfortably close to his face. If he were a more aggressive person he'd have smacked it.

"Prince Jiao'ao of-"

"Yeaaaaaaaaaah right. Lemme tell you something foreigner! I'm onto your little facade! Think you can fool me?" He chuckled to himself. "I'm the smartest person I know. And I know exactly what's going down here so you might as well make this easy and tell me the truth. Starting with your name."

"Jiao'ao, son of Lord La-"

"Okay, think you're so smart, huh? Think coz my ears are over my eyes that I'm blind, ha? Think I can't see past your bullshit?"

"You must not be very popular." Jiao'ao mused.

"Not amongst your kind."

"Yes... definitely not amongst my kind. My family has standards-"

"That's why you hanging around that stinkin' spy? Have you gotten a whiff of him or are you just nose-numb? Might as well be a skunk for all I know."

"You know what. I'm not going to waste my time arguing with you."

"Good. Then tell the darned truth!"

Jiao'ao dragged his wing across his beak. This would take a while.

* * *

Saras had never known what it was like to be crushed by a mountain, let alone seven. He bet it was painful, but here in the Dreamworld all it did was squish him flat against the dirt. It was lighter than he expected, probably something to do with the fact that it technically wasn't real.

"No. It's light because I've decided not to kill you yet." Duyao approached and stared down at him. The mountains slowly became heavier, significantly heavier, to the point that Saras was gasping for breath. Then they were lighter and the fox was left panting.

* * *

Lang punched the nose with all his might. The dog howled with pain and hopped backwards, glaring at the red panda from behind a bloody handkerchief. Lang glared back and soon the dog was backing out the room. He snorted and turned to the warden. "Some Detective, huh?"

* * *

"You want to know what Badr did to me?" Her voice was a deadly whisper. Desperately Saras shook his head. He had no air to profess his innocence. He could do nothing but watch. Duyao placed her webbed hand on the top of his skull, where once long ago a leopard had smashed in.

* * *

"Do you know how many of you Miss Tamod has filed an accusation against?"

Dianbo scowled. _That dumb cat! Master Flying Rhino, why did you never introduce me to a nicer girl?_

"Don't you scowl at me pup! Or I'll lock your ass up for good! I heard a lot of crazy shit tonight, but you know what? I don't care! None of it's important coz it's all bullshit! Vandalism, grevious bodily harm, abuse, maltreatment! Now that's what I'm talking about, jackal. You're looking at ten or twenty years behind bars-"

"But I-"

"Indian! Aha! Foreigners! Coming to my country and messing shit up! Yes! Ha! This is a targeted attack made my foreign agents against a wealthy Chinese Family! Warden, send an application for my promotion! Tonight's my lucky night! I've _finally_ caught some crooks!"

* * *

It was painful. Every memory he'd ever hated ran through his mind, and every memory he ever cherished climbed up Duyao's arm. The Death Touch, it's paralyzing fear and the exhaustion it left inside him with the lightest of touches. Having his skull caved into. The bubble of guilt he felt upon remembering who Han Guan was and what he'd done to him. The bubble that blew into a balloon that swelled and swelled until it felt like his chest was going to burst.

He could not stop the tears, he was powerless here in the world of his nightmares.

"Crying? You're crying? Pathetic!" Her voice threw his words back at him. "You didn't even last a minute! Badr did this to me for _hours!_ "

Tears did not come often to one about to die. Most of the ones she'd dealt with knew their time had come. Many had begged, but most had not cried. She could feel pain in him... but also sorrow. And his thoughts would not leave her.

The kit who played with a tanuki in the snow. Who played a silly card game for hours on end. Who chased a bat on ice and grinned at his brother. Duyao searched for the bad parts. The sadistic joy he took in... planning on saving Safi. The laughter of a boy who rarely got the chance to laugh. The glee he had once felt robbing a vault... of one gem.

Duyao gasped and pulled her paw away. Saras whimpered under the mountains, ready for the end to come. It was long overdue.

That was when he woke up.

* * *

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" The Detective had just explained to Li I his entire case against them. "Hahahahahahahahaha!" Whenever the rabbit seemed like he was about to stop, he looked back up at the dog only to continue laughing. "Hihihihihihihihihihihi!"

"Shut up! Okay! I caught you!" The dog left the room and slammed the door shut behind him like a poutty child.

* * *

Saras came to in a room so bright for a few moments he thought he was back in the Dreamworld. His head ached. He was tired. Slumping forwards his head found a table and soon he was snoring blissfully.

Until the Detective was shouting in his ear. That really killed the mood.

* * *

Reidak burst into the holding cell, scowling angrily. For a moment the others were worried they were going to get another beating.

"That bastard! He twisted everything I said and called me a liar when I told him I'm married. Because I don't smell like a woman!"

"You're married?" Han Guan raised an eyebrow. "Since when?"

"Since before I met you. Many years! And I have three kids."

Li I shot out from behind the bench. "You're _MARRIED!?_ "

"Da. Didn't I-er mention it."

"No."

"Nope."

"You didn't." Came Dianbo's voice. The jackal sat besides Han Guan. "And before tonight I'd have asked you how you got on a first date with a woman you like, but _no more!_ Safi won't appreciate how hard I tried to help her tonight, or how much I care about her. She filed reports against all of us for grievous bodily harm and vandalism. Frankly, I'm quitting."

"Good on you!" Li cheered.

Jiao'ao too, joined the conversation addressing Reidak. "So you're married and have three kids. Is your wife of a different species, and if so, how did you overcome this barrier in your relationship?"

All stared at Jiao'ao with wide eyes.

"N-not that I would care about s-something like that! I-I'm just curious is all!"

"Do you fancy a woman of a different species?" Reidak asked, amusement in his voice.

"Don't be preposterous!" But anyone could tell he was blushing. "Now-er, if you'll excuse me... I'll er, be over there... fighting assassins."

"There are no more assassins to fight." The tiger pointed out. "We are in a holding cell."

"Just shut up." The peacock went back to his pacing.

The warden came back, holding Saras up by the scruff of the neck. "There's the last of you. Sleep well." He walked off slowly.

Saras sat on the other side of Han Guan. Moments passed before he could no longer hold in his bitterness. "You know... I'm not the type of person to say 'I told you so', but I did suggest letting her die. I got beaten up, psychologically tortured by a crazy frog, and drenched in mud for all my troubles. Thanks guys. Great idea."

"I owe you an apology." Dianbo began awkwardly.

"You _think?_ "

"I'm sorry. I should have listened to you."

Saras gritted his teeth, holding back a growl that would have made Lang proud. But he was too tired to rant and blame. "Never again." He finally said.

There was an awkward silence.

"So Shifty? What did the crazy detective say about you?"

"He said that I was an underage drinker when I told him Duyao dropped a couple of mountains on me. She took me to the Dreamworld for heaven's sake! What did I ever do to her?" But it wasn't what he'd done to her... Badr had made her watch her worst memory... a thousand times over... over and over and over again. He shivered. He'd lasted a few loops, Duyao had lasted a hundred. Anyone would go revenge-crazy after that. He sighed and rubbed his temple. _He could feel the rock cracking his skull again. He could feel the warm blood rushing out of him. He could see the pool of crimson that formed round his head._ He shivered.

Kunjingle placed a paw on the top of his head, it was probably meant to be comforting... and in truth it kind of was.

That was when Badr showed up, grinning from ear to ear. He was wearing a night gown, and had clearly come in a hurry. Behind him came the warden, who opened the door of the cell and held it open for them all.

"Come on. You missed dinner." Said the feline good naturedly, beckoning them out of the cell.

The group were quick to leave, and Lang was sure to 'accidentally' crush the warden's toes beneath his foot. Li I giggled at the look on the Detective's face, and soon he was laughing again.

The walk back to the palace was long and for the most part silent, up until they reached the stairs. Badr turned to them, and beamed. And for the first time since they'd all met him he gave a real smile. "You'd have to be a father to know how grateful I am." He grabbed the nearest of them, Han Guan, mud-drenched and dirty as he was, and hugged him. Then he hugged each in turn. By the time he was done he was as dirty as any of them. He motioned for them to follow after him. "You saved my Safi... and I can never repay that. I can give you all the riches you want, but I'd still be in your debt. I... don't know how to say it. My own family was... taken from me. Safi is all I have now and... you saved her." He was close to tears. "I... am grateful. I... thank you." He wiped at the tears that were coming.

"You're welcome." Saras said, walking past him. He couldn't see past what had happened to Duyao... the pain she had no doubt felt at the hands of this cat. He doubted he would ever see Badr the same way ever again.

"Yeah really Mr Tamod. We'd have done it for anyone." Li I beamed back. Now was probably the best time to ask to be allowed back in the tournament. But... he didn't seize the moment.

Han Guan showed off his missing teeth. "Thanks for bailing us out, Badr-sama." He threw a thumbs up as he walked past.

"I'd be more courteous but... I'm exhausted." Jiao'ao said with a curt nod.

"Of course." Said Badr. "I'll have breakfast brought up to you all tomorrow. And..." He could say it a thousand times, it would never be enough. "Thank you..."

A good long sleep and the promise of food in the morning. It was all Saras could have asked for.

* * *

Duyao sobbed freely into the deep white space of the Dreamworld. Wugu was right, she was getting consumed by this rage, this hate. She was becoming a monster again. The fox had been innocent... and she'd almost killed him. His tears lay where once the mountains had been. The tears of a child who did not want to die. Her tears joined his in a small puddle. She was finished. She and Ba and Wugu. They'd go as far away from Badr as possible, and live out their lives as normally as possible. Badr was dead to her! She could forget again! She had done it once after all.

Then a voice she faintly recognized began laughing, and it was only then that she realized it was her own laughter. Badr would haunt her for the rest of her life. He was a monster. She was a monster... might as well embrace it.

* * *

 _Footnote: Badr was originally never meant to be a villain. In the original he was kind of a jerk and then he was a full on black and white bad guy in Between Brothers and Journey to Japan. But, detestable though he is... he is rather nuanced.  
_

 _He starts out as a boy who wants to help his family. Slowly the power corrupts him, then something big happens (well it has happened but hasn't been written yet) and he gets a bit more corrupted, and while he's a bit of a jerk here he's... not one hundred percent a dick... yet. I toyed with the idea of having him side with Safi and be angry with them all but... it felt better to have him be grateful and show some of his humanity while he still has it. In terms of nuanced characters I'd rate him and Duyao the highest. For now anyways. Though at the same time they are both detestable villains._

 _The annoying dog doesn't have a name yet, but I kinda imagine him voiced by Michael Rooker. I should do a crossover with him and Mimi..._

 _And this arc is over. Musical Chairs done. Two left to go yipee!  
_

 _Also... technically* the story crossed 100K words, which is an achievement. First time I've written this much! It also has the most Favorites and Follows at Seven each, so thanks for that.  
_

 _*But technically it hasn't yet. But it will. It's just my Footnotes are long. So most likely the story is somewhere in the high nineties._

 _Update soon._


	47. The Fourth Task

The smell of sugar filled his nose quite late the next morning. Slowly Saras cracked his eyes open. He had slept far better than he'd expected to, then again, having no energy to do anything other than sleep probably helped. Rising slowly from the bed, careful not to make a sound lest he wake the others, he was surprised to see a large tray of what looked like candied berries. The sweet scent came from their direction, and he made his way over slowly towards them, careful not to make a sound.

Poking one with a claw he suddenly found he was very hungry. Then again he hadn't eaten anything the previous day. He swallowed it whole, and regretted it. He should have savored the taste a little more.

"Good morning Shifty!" Any attempts on his part to not rouse the others was thrown out the window by Li I's cheerful greeting. The bunny seemed awake all at once. Hopping to his feet he made his way over to the tray of candied hawthorn. "Binghulu, my favourite!" He took several and stuffed them in his cheeks.

"Bing what?" Saras regretted asking when the rabbit turned to him, his mouth bulging and answered his question.

"Bigbulu." The fox wiped off the saliva. Dianbo yawned behind them and sauntered over.

"I could use some bigbulu you know. Haven't eaten since... the day before yesterday."

That was when Reidak entered, holding another tray of Binghulu. He smiled. "I'm glad you like it. Figured it was the least I could do after almost murdering you all last night."

The rabbit finally swallowed. "You didn't almost murder us." Li I shot back. "We had it completely under control."

Reidak would have rolled his eyes if he could. "Yes, yes. You all easily defeated me using your combined prowess. That is why Dianbo has a massive bruise on his chest, Han is missing half his teeth and the whole inn sunk under the mud."

Li I stuffed his mouth with food instead of replying.

Han Guan unsheathed his claws and made to spear as many candied fruits as he could. He managed two, which was a lot less than his usual. He frowned as he chewed. "Technically Dianbo knocked out half my teeth." The mustelid pointed out.

"I thought you beat me easily?"

"I did." Han swallowed. "But to do so I er- had to loose my teeth. I mean... they'll grow back." He sighed dejectedly as he chewed the fruits off his claws.

Before anyone could address the elephant in the room there was a knock on the door.

Kunjingle opened it, and was surprised to see, not so much the breakfast Badr had promised, but rather a feast. How someone had managed to cook this much food overnight was anyone's guess, and in the bear's personal opinion. A miracle.

All they did was eat for the next ten minutes straight, and ten minutes later they were still eating, though now at a far more relaxed pace.

"You know Reidak. I'll admit you beat us up, if you admit that technically you're the most vulnerable here." Began Li I.

The feline frowned. "How so?"

"Well you have got the biggest weakness. One fart and you're gone."

Reidak mulled this over. "I suppose... da. But that doesn't mean you could beat me in a fight. And many people do not know this weakness, which means most people cannot use it against me. And farting isn't a common fighting style. I suppose perhaps a skunk could use it, but skunks are not that common here or in Russia."

"I know a skunk."

"Moreover Li, you yourself have far more weaknesses than I do. You are small, nimble, fast, but you lack the strength needed to knock someone out quickly. Your fighting style is about trickery and deceit and being quick on your feet. But if someone were to catch you it would not take much to take you down."

The rabbit fell into silence at the feline's thorough analysis. It took all of two seconds before he was ready to talk again. "Let's talk about that."

"What?"

"Weaknesses! I mean clearly we're all susceptible to being turned to the dark side, so might as well know how to take us down." The others seemed hesitant. "C'mon! It'll be fun, and not everyone here plays Battai so might as well."

"Okay, why not." Dianbo pointed at Lang. "You are all attack and no defense. If faced against either someone who can avoid or tank your hits, then you would-" Lang's glare prevented him from finishing with a 'get defeated'. "You would face a lot of difficulty."

Lang cracked his knuckles. "You'll be hard to catch, I'll give you that. But your fancy footwork isn't going to stop my fist busting all your teeth out. You take a couple of kicks to take someone out, they're fast I'll give you that, but you've got nothing that can beat them quick."

There was an awkward pause. "See this is fun! Han and Shify, your go!"

Han Guan cocked his head to the side. "You... can do a lot." He said, trying to sound smart. "But... that's your problem?"

Saras raised an eyebrow. He'd always considered bad luck to be his primary issue. "How so?"

"Well you can do so much that you don't know when you're supposed to do what? I don't know. Can we play a game that doesn't sound like a therapy warm-up session?"

Jiao'ao slammed his wing on the table. "I knew this was familiar. Okay, yeah. Let's change the subject."

"Fine." Huffed Li. "Wait a minute? How do you guys know about what happens in therapy?"

"Because my cousin was a therapist. He used to complain that all he ever did was hear people complain about their problems." Explained the mustelid.

There was a knock on the door, and Chaonao entered. For some reason he wore a bandage over his head.

 _"Exaggeration you know. Get everyone asking 'what happened to Chaonao'."_ He explained, noticing that their gaze lingered upon it. _"Technically I was supposed to tell you all the Fourth Task yesterday but as we all know things got hectic. The other competitors already know what's going to happen, so I thought I'd just bring you up to speed."_

"You mean it's your job?"

 _"This is why you're not in the Fourth Task. No one likes a smart-ass, bunny. Anyways. The Third Task was supposed to be the brain task, but apparently I 'corrupted' it. So the Fourth Task is going to be the brain task. Good for you if you like using your brain. Essentially it's five fights spread out over ten days. Though technically it's going to be eight days now since one of the other competitors has withdrawn. You get one day to prep up half the arena while your opponent preps the other half. Then you both fight. The reason this is considered an intelligence test is because you'll be informed beforehand of who your opponents are."_

The parrot withdrew several scrolls. He gave the first one to Lang. _"You get the left."_ Then Dianbo and Reidak. _"Left. Right."_ Then Jiao'ao and Saras. _"Left. Right."_ Then finally Han Guan. _"Right. Best of luck and enjoy your meals. SQUAWK!"_

Lang snorted. "I got the bone guy." He stood up. "Well, better go prepare."

Reidak frowned. Dianbo frowned. Both stared at one another. The tiger reached out his paw, the jackal shook it.

"Wait you two got each other?" Li I looked from one to the other for confirmation, then burst out laughing. "Hahahahahahahahahaha!"

"They're not the only ones." Jiao'ao frowned.

Saras sheepishly rolled up his scroll. "Well... hope you do well."

"Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Boy oh boy, Kunjingle I'm actually glad we didn't get through!"

Han Guan was noticeably paler.

"Hey Han, who did you get?"

The wolverine gulped. "Ba."

"That leaves Babirasu and Wugu... three guesses on who quit." Saras bit back a growl. Why did Babirasu get the free-pass? He'd practically done nothing to get this far to begin with!

"Yeah well, I need to go... prepare." Jiao'ao cleared his throat awkwardly and stood up.

Dianbo gave a curt nod and followed the peacock out. Reidak gave a small chuckle and wished them the best of luck.

"Well... guess I'm going to go read up on spiders." Han Guan stood up.

"We'll come too Han, it's not like we've got anything better to do, eh, Shifty, Jingles?" The bear nodded, and the fox shrugged. The four made their way to the vast library.

* * *

"I swear there was music! And a magic necklace that made whoever wore it sing!" Hong Ze was describing as best he could, what had happened the previous night. "And the Order of the Owl was there! And there were fires in the room, and then the inn started sinking into the mud."

"Hong Ze. We've all seen some weird things." Began Naan with practiced patience. "But I'm almost entirely certain you were drunk."

"I was not!" The elk insisted. "I had one bottle. One! Oka-"

"And somehow that was enough to get your face all fucked up, and for you to spend your night with the Imperial Army. Who would the Order of the Owl even want to kill? Safi Tamod?" The vixen shook her head. "I heard she's spoiled, rude and self-centered, but she's not important enough to be the target of any hit."

"But I-"

"Look. It doesn't matter. We made you go to see if something would happen. You can send a report later on. Right now we need to help Naan prepare for his fight tomorrow."

"What? Who's he fighting? And where are we going anyways?"

"I'm fighting Lang." Was the triad's calm reply. "And we are going to the cemetery."

* * *

Piles of books hid the quartet from one another. Piles and piles of books and scrolls that had anything related to arachnids. It was more learning than Saras had ever done in his life.

He was currently reading _'A Brief Collection of Interesting and Entertaining Facts About Spiders And Scorpions To Impress Your Friends!'_ It was three thousand pages long and many of them were filled with dumb and childish drawings. He'd come to the conclusion that it had been written by a ten year old.

"You know if some spiders bite you, you can get stuck with an erection?" Li I seemed to be able to find more strange facts than useful ones. Previously he'd informed them that _'most spiders aren't as big as Ba'_ and that _'while all spiders spin silk, not all spiders spin webs.'_

"You know a spider's muscles pull its legs inward, but cannot extend its legs out again. Instead, it must pump a watery liquid into its legs to push them out?"

"Maybe you can nerve attack his muscles so he can't pull them in?" Suggested Saras, skimming through page four hundred sixty seven.

"I don't know nerve attacks." Muttered Han.

Kunjingle whistled, tugged an eyelid, flicked his ear and whistled again.

Li I translated. "You know spiders don't have teeth, so they cannot chew their food. Instead, they inject digestive juices into the innards of their meal. Then the spider sucks up it's innards."

Saras shivered. "Good to know." But he wasn't really paying attention. He was going to have to fight Jiao'ao. If he won, he got to the finals.

"You know spider webs can stop bleeding."

If he got to the finals he could win. But what was the point? If he got to the finals he would be facing Lang or Naan, Reidak or Dianbo, Babirasu or Han Guan. Most of them he considered his friends. And to get there he would have to beat Jiao'ao. They weren't close. But the peacock had a better reason to win than he did.

The rabbit continued to disrupt the awkward silence. "You know mother spiderlings can give birth to three thousand babies?"

Winning did not get him Yei. Babirasu had that. Babirasu was advancing, and to get Yei back from Babi he had to stick to the babirusa like glue. But that did not mean he had to win.

"You know spider hair helps them smell and hear? You know most spiders are near-sighted. I think we can use that. Keep your distance, throw loads of darts and stuff."

That did not mean he had to get to the finals. Li I and Kunjingle weren't getting kicked out.

"You know some spiders can shoot sticky gum through their mouths?"

"You know this is pointless!" The wolverine said finally, slumping his head on the table.

"Han..." Began Li, but he was interrupted.

"They were the only part of me that mattered." He sniffed, bringing his small claws in front of his face.

"Oh come on. Don't be like that Han, all of you matters." Saras was momentarily surprised at how quickly the words had come out of him

The wolverine blinked at the words. He really had not expected them. Something along the lines of 'they're just claws', or 'they'll grow back' wouldn't have surprised him in the slightest. But something as simple as a five syllable phrase on what he was worth! That surprised him. He stared at Saras, with wide eyes.

The fox passed him another book. "You know Han Guan... I think you're going to win this tournament."

"Ah, Mister Kanbujian, just the fox I was hoping to see!" Badr came strolling into the library, looking elegant, poised and happy. "I was hoping you'd come and walk with me." His tone suggested he would not take no for an answer.

The shapeshifter handed Kunjingle his book. "I'll be back." He said by way of parting, and followed the black cat out the library.

For the most part all they did was walk, and slowly Saras was getting slightly annoyed. "Mister Tamod?"

"Hm?"

"What's this about?"

"Figured there was something more to it? Well you're not wrong. You see Mister Kanbujian, you interest me."

"I do?" Why? Why did he have to attract interest? He was supposed to have left before the First Task had even ended!

"I think you can win."

"Oh well actually I was thinking-"

"Not only do I think you can win, but I also think that you are not here to win. That, Mister Kanbujian, is what interests me." They arrived outside his office. "Please take a seat."

The fox did as he was bid, and Badr sat behind his desk and opposite him, like he had when they'd first had their interview and the black cat had given him the Singh Box.

"Let me tell you a story. It's about a young boy, who joined a tournament he really had no business being in. He was so desperate to win, to taste victory. He told himself the whole time that it was for his family, to improve their situation... but sometimes I doubt he was being honest with himself. Now this boy he did horrible things to win. Despicable and... I regret them." The black cat sighed. "My family is all but gone now and my only heir is... well. I love Safi, but we must be honest about the ones we love. She's not suited for this. F-for carrying on this legacy, my legacy. In truth my legacy is a lie, but it needs to be upheld or else I'd... all I did would have been for nothing."

Saras did not know what to say, nor what to think.

"I was a monster because I wanted to win... I..." He sighed deeply and dragged his paws over his face. "Let me tell you what I did. I placed a considerable sum of money, a large bet, on you winning the tournament."

Saras blinked. "W-wha-"

"I want you to win, Mister Kanbujian.

* * *

 _Footnote: Binghulu is an actual Chinese dish. I wanted to use something that wasn't either a dumpling or a bean bun, so I found this treat. It's basically caramelized hawthorn berries. It sounds quite tasty, but I wouldn't really know._

 _Task Four. To make things more interesting I decided to give prep time. I also did this so that I get the important characters into the finals without de-powering characters like Lang, who unfortunately don't get to the finals. Because if you know what happens in the finals then you'll So yeah... this story is coming to an end soon. I'm not sure how many chapters left exactly. But I can divide it rather neatly in two groups._

 _Task Four._

 _Task Five._

 _And there's one chapter that's the conclusion, which ironically I already have completely written down._

 _At first I wanted to cut out the triad scene since it was a bit jarring, but I decided to keep it since the three of them find it very easy to sink into the shadows (of obscurity)._

 _Now the final part between Badr and Saras is somewhat adapted from the original. In the original Duyao's hatred of Saras and attempts to terminate him are the direct results of Badr placing a bet on him. I didn't do that here, and instead Saras is linked to the Tamods through Safi and the Singh Box. Badr is kind of a foil to Saras, as Berserker88 and I think Mind Jack pointed out in Back in the Day: The Tournament. They said something along the lines of 'Badr is a ruder version of Saras', and that's true. Here I highlighted that and another key difference between them. Badr was desperate to win (or rather, will be) whereas Saras was only ever in it for Yei._

 _Enjoy. Update soon._


	48. A Bone To Pick

Drums beat loudly, erhus played in the background and Chaonao's loud, obnoxious voice was giving everyone a headache.

 _"Welcome back ladies and gentlemen! Today we have the first match-up of the Fourth Task, fittingly we also get four matches SQUAWK! Tickets sold separately! The idea behind this is that since only the cream of the crop have made it this far, every and any match-up will be epic! And worth a ten yuan entry fee!"_

"This is not fair." Mulaohu had her arms crossed over her chest, and was uncharacteristically glaring at the arena, which was currently hidden behind two large curtains. "If I had gotten to this task I'd have been able to come up with a foolproof tactic to defeat you all using my perfect memory!"

"Tough." Said Li, unsympathetically.

 _"Now on the right wing side of the arena we have none other than Mister Mystery, the spanker of Princes, squasher of spiders, Naan! Funny, most people end up leaving in bandages, not coming in wearing them!"_

The black curtain was pulled out of sight, and revealed the triad for all to see. He stood on the sand, his features hidden under the hat and scarf, his yellow eyes narrowed in anticipation.

 _"And in the left wing side we haaaaaaaave none other than the Slayer of Badr's Deathworm, the grumpy guy, the spear-weilding, shapeshifter-smacking, scarred, war-worn, one-eyed Lord of Mysteriously Misty Mountains!"_

"I'm starting to think Chaonao doesn't know where the Mountains of Mist and Misery are." Commented Jiao'ao.

Lang looked slightly more annoyed than usual at the parrot's mistake, though really, when did Lang not look angry about something?

 _"They have both had the whole of yesterday to prep-up their side of the arena! Remember, you need a decisive win to proceed!"_

"He didn't say that yesterday." Muttered Jiao'ao.

 _"Show us what you've got!"_

Neither made any move.

 _"I said... show us what yooooooooooou've goooooooot!"_

Naan raised an arm. "Isn't it foolish to unveil all of my traps before the battle has begun?"

"Yeah. What's the point of the curtains if he's going to know what I've got planned for him before it hits him?" Agreed Lang, angrily.

 _"Okay fine, be all secretive! SQUAWK! Now without further ado, begin!"_

Naan crouched on the ground, his arms flat against the sand.

Lang began twirling the spear, watching his opponent carefully.

Then someone in the audience gasped, and another three fainted. Cold, old, dead, yellow, bones were climbing out of the sand around Naan. They formed spikes, and spines, and small walls of rib-cages.

 _"What was the point of refusing to show me what you've got if you're going to show everyone two seconds later?"_

"I've got more." Was Naan's cool response.

Lang stopped twirling the spear and charged forwards. He hopped from one spine of bone to another, before reaching the triad. He jabbed forwards with the point of his spear. His bandage-clad opponent raised an arm covered in small knobs of bone, and let the spear slide across them. He tried to follow up with a jab of his own, but the red panda's feet slammed into his chest before he could. The triad slid backwards through the sand and was forced to hop over a crescent swing of the spear blade. Pulling two femurs from the sand, he spun them round his form in a blur of grey-ish white. When he was done spinning them round he was left holding two large shuriken of the same material.

 _"Okay... sleight of hand or just plain creepy, you decide!"_

* * *

"Not because I'm morbid or anything but... how is he doing that?" Li I turned to Naan's constant companions, the black vixen and the elk.

The vixen gave no answer and probably pretended not to have hear him, but the elk was quick to shrug his shoulders.

"No idea. He's been doing that for longer than I've known him, and personally I have no idea how it works."

"Manipulating bone structure." Reidak grimaced. "That one I haven't seen before."

"Oh it looks all cool now." Began the elk. "But this took hours of hard work to complete."

Ji Rou gave him a look. "Yes. Hours of me and Naan doing hard work while you complained about it."

"What do you mean?" Reidak would have narrowed his eyes.

"Well why do you think there's so many skeletons?"

"Did you guys go on a killing spree or something?" Asked Li I, now genuinely alarmed.

"Of course not." They said in unison. Hong Ze then gave them the truth. "We just dug up half the cemetery and reburied them here for Naan to beat your friend with."

"Have you no respect for the dead?" Demanded Reidak, now disgusted.

"Well... they did get themselves killed." Said the elk with a shrug.

Reidak stood up to smack him, but Ji Rou intervened.

"Hong Ze says stupid things. Fear not Russian we will re-bury them when Naan has no more need of them."

The tiger sat back down, apparently satisfied. But there was still a rage coming from him that to Li I was entirely unfamiliar.

* * *

Naan threw the shuriken at the red panda, but Lang was quick to deflect them. The small mammal was quick to follow up by pole-vaulting into his opponent's chest to deliver a powerful kick that sent Naan crashing into the barrier. The triad pulled himself out of the crater and slammed his arms into the sand. Lang flew through the air towards him, but his kick was met not with his opponent's face, but a hastily-built wall of skulls. A more squeamish person would probably have screamed, but Lang was far from squeamish. The red panda jumped backwards to avoid a small volley of sharp teeth. Lang spun the spear to throw aside another volley. He then jumped into the air to avoid another attack, this one came from behind.

 _"So far it seems Lang has done no preparation whatsoever! You had an entire day! SQUAWK!"_

The red panda growled and reached into his sack. Pulling something free, Lang tossed it at the wall of skulls. The many dead faces turned towards the unknown object, only for it to blow up.

 _"Okay, looks like he has come prepared!"_

Another bomb was tossed in Naan's direction. The triad crossed his arms over his face and the explosive exploded. Lang did not hesitate, and continued with his offensive. He grabbed his opponent by the feet and slammed him into the barrier. Once, twice, thrice, a fourth time. The red panda followed up by swinging in a full circle, slicing through the barrier with his opponent's head. He finished by tossing away his opponent away. The triad's hat was strewn aside, and some of his bandages were stained a sickly green.

 _"Well... looks like he'll need more bandages! SQUAWK!"_

* * *

Hong Ze was chewing his hooves and Ji Rou's eyes were wide behind her mask. Naan didn't seem to be getting up.

* * *

 _"It looks like Naan is out of the fight. Bit disappointing, more-so to the people who payed to see this. Well then, our second competitor is Lan-"_

A spinal chord shot out of the ground behind Lang, and tore open the red panda's back. Another one pierced right through Lang's spear and a third slammed into his sack of rocks, detonating the red panda's explosives.

 _"Okay maybe not! SQUAWK!"_

Lang glared at him, his face was burning with rage. "That is the _third_ spear one of you punks has broken!" He cracked his knuckles, and the whole arena heard the noise.

Naan's eyes narrowed.

The panda charged forwards, nimbly dodging the spikes of bone that periodically shot out of the ground around him. As he came closer, a wall of bones began forming around Naan, like a growing rib cage. Lang, no longer feeling any pain, slammed his fist right through the main rib. The bone shattered like glass, leaving the arena speechless. And leaving Lang's paw bloody, but he was past the point of caring. After all, he still didn't seem to notice that his back was soaked in crimson.

Grabbing hold of the 'defensive' bone structure, Lang hurled it across the arena, placing another large dent in the wall.

 _"You know there should really be a contest over who cost this tournament the most money in repairs! SQUAWK!"_

Naan rolled to the side to avoid a flurry of punches, which further obliterated the poor wooden barrier.

 _"But Lang would win that far too easily, am I right?"_

A sharp bone stretched out of Naan's bandages, and the triad stabbed forwards, aiming for the red panda's rib-cage. Lang dodged, and grabbed hold of the bone blade, before repeatedly slamming his opponent on the ground. Naan pulled the bone back, freeing him from Lang's grip, but also launching himself backwards. He landed on wobbling feet.

It was difficult to say who looked creepier. One was bandaged in black and white, with a sickly green-ish liquid dripping from his form. Another was bleeding good old-fashioned crimson and sporting a look of pure rage.

Lang charged forwards once more, but this time Naan did not waste his time trying to stop him. Instead he turned and bolted.

* * *

"It looks like the dead shall have their revenge." Said Reidak coolly.

Ji Rou was too busy worrying to reply.

* * *

Naan did not run far, probably because he was tired, before he stopped running and turned to face his charging opponent. His eyes were different now. Three black dots were circling each other on each yellow eye. Lang swung, and his fist was met with bones-rapidly grown out of Naan's right cheek. The red panda followed up with a stomp to the stumbling triad's foot, only for him to impale himself against a spike of bone. Naan swung with a fist coated with little ridges of bone. The force of the blow knocked Lang off his feet, but also freed him. The mammal rolled out of the way as a large cranium exploded from the sand next to him and tried to decapitate him. He then slammed his fist on the crocodile skull, shattering it on impact. Lang got to his feet, but was floored again by a spinal-chord trip-wire.

* * *

"Why does he not do that when Lang is tossing him all over the place?"

Hong Ze turned to Li I. "Because we could only bury the bones in half the arena, duh! Naan's not some freak who can control any bone anywhere, otherwise he could just collapse the red panda's rib-cage. No, no. He needs to make firm contact with it, and I'm ninety-nine percent sure it has to be dead."

"But he was moving that skull without touching it." The rabbit pointed out.

"Well yeah, but his feet were touching the sand and the skull isn't that deep under."

"So he can control it from a range?"

"Well... probably. I don't know okay! If it's from a distance than most likely he has got to be near to it."

"You know, considering you seem to be one of his best friends you know very little about him."

"Tell me about it." Said the elk, rolling his eyes. "Nah, total secrecy is our motto."

* * *

Both were back on their feet and swinging. Lang's fist was faster and more furious, but failed to shatter the right side of Naan's face... unlike every other bone he'd been faced with. Probably because Naan's bones hadn't spent too much time under the cemetery. Lang hopped into the air, and planted both feet into his opponent's chest. Naan slid backwards. He fell into a crouch, both arms firmly planted on the ground. A volley of small, sharp bones, anything from beaks and rubs to pea phalanges, flew at the red panda.

The red panda shut his eyes, and felt the tiny bones pierce his flesh. One in particular was sticking to his forehead.

* * *

"Is that my claw?" Barked Han, suddenly furious. Lang would have been proud (and angry) to see that his inner rage had been emulated so well.

"Well yeah! Sharpest bones we could find." Was Hong Ze's rather untactful reply.

"Sorry about that." Added Ji Rou, not taking her eyes off the battle below.

* * *

Naan was stunned. How on earth was the red panda still standing? He had a long cut down his back. His foot, and now his front, was impaled. His paws were bloody... and he'd been half-blind to begin with!

While contemplating the nature of his opponent, Naan was taken by surprise. As such he was unable to react in time to prevent Lang's fist from slamming into his cheek.

The red panda uppercut him on the chin, and hurled him into the air, before leaping up after the triad. Bones began curling out of the bandages and around Naan like a defensive cocoon, but Lang did not care. Grabbing hold of his opponent's foot, Lang pulled him back down and hurled him into the ground.

The triad landed hard on the sand. He slammed his arm into the ground next to him as Lang flew down to meet him, fist-first.

* * *

The arena held it's breath. Chaonao's eyes were wide. Badr's were narrowed. Hong Ze was steadily chewing through Ji Rou's claws, having already clipped his hooves. The vixen was too preoccupied widening her eyes to notice. Reidak was beginning to nod, the word 'justice' ready to triumphantly emerge from his lips.

* * *

Bones shot out of the ground like a shower of arrows. Lang was unable to avoid the multiple, minute projectiles. But nor could Naan avoid the punch that caught him square between the eyes as the two crashed against each other. The sand, as it always did in moments of intensity, shot up like a smokescreen (or else, a giant middle-finger).

 _"Well ladies and gentlemen! It looks like we have a winner!"  
_

The drums beat, and erhus played, and the blood-soaked mammal limped away from his opponent's defeated form. Slowly Lang pulled the hundreds of small bones out of his flesh and tossed them away. When he was done, he fell backwards on the sand, as out for the count as Naan.

 _"Er... wait a second? Is this a decisive victory? Lang won right?"_

* * *

 _Footnote: I don't think the bone-structures are enough to warrant me changing the rating to M, though Naan is the type of character that does well with an M rating, like Xueye and the Hemomancer he isn't really an 'all-audience' character, if only due to his fighting style. Which is... kinda creepy. To detract from it though I used some scientific vocabulary in regards to the names of bones.  
_

 _A cranium is a skull, I'm sure you know. And femur is the bone in your thighs. The pea phalanges is the toe-bone. I don't think I need to describe what a skull, or a beak or a canine or a rib is._

 _If this is tooooooo much for a T, then I will change it into an M._

 _And yeah... they undug a whole lot of corpses... meh the triads aren't that nice XD  
_

 _Also if you think it's a bit jarring that we jump from Saras and Badr to Lang Vs Naan... I think it suits the structure a bit better, since we'll be seeing a lot of Saras later on, and instead of making two chapters of Saras musing on something, I decided to put them all together, and go ahead with Lang vs Naan. Please also note that I will be using the Five's 'super-speedy' structure for Task Four, not to rush it but because I don't want to over-stuff it all with filler.  
_

 _Also Mind Jack helped out a bit with this chapter coz I didn't really know what Lang would do to prepare. He suggested bombs, and why not? Explosions=excitement, right?_

 _As for whether or not Lang proceeds you may take an educated guess based on if you remember last time. Regardless, all shall be revealed next time._

 _Enjoy and Update soon._


	49. The Days That Followed

_**A/N: Hi, what follows is a series of snippets of Task Four and the days surrounding it. It's an easy way for me to cover ground quickly. I don't think I'm rushing through it, but this story is ending soon, and I feel no need to stretch it out with fillers.**_

* * *

 _The Day Lang Left  
_

* * *

"What?!"

"If it makes you feel any better, we all think you won." Started Li.

"I did win!" Snapped Lang.

Saras had been of the opinion that it was a very, very bad idea to break the news to Lang. But Chaonao had threatened to disqualify them all. Probably because he didn't want to get strangled.

"We know Lang-sama... I'm sure if you told Badr-sama- er, what are you doing?"

"What's it look like?" Barked the red panda. His wounds were no longer bleeding, and many revealed themselves to be nothing more than small cuts. The gash along his back would probably last one or two months before it was healed completely, but didn't seem to affect him in any way.

"Well... it looks like you're packing."

"You're so smart fox, you should run for Emperor. I got some info from Cin Lin-"

"You did? What did she say?"

The red panda gave a growl in reply. "That's private. What it means is that I have got business elsewhere." He slung his spear, the blade was the same but he'd been forced to replace the shaft. A sack hung from the end, but he'd yet to fill it with boulders. "Well then. Goodbye." He marched forwards and the group parted ways to allow him to go through.

They watched his retreating back, stunned. "That was... abrupt."

"Yeah, you'd think we'd have a big goodbye speech on some dock about the tide always flowing back."

Saras frowned. He'd had a very similar-sounding conversation once.

Li shrugged. "I think I'll miss him. A little."

"Yeah... he was... a bit-"

"Scary?" Provided Saras.

The wolverine frowned. "I wouldn't say I was scared of him."

"But he is scary."

Nobody said the very clicheed, 'we shall meet again'.

But that was what made Saras realize that this tournament was drawing to a close. He had gotten used to the endless Battai games, the Tasks and challenges, even Safi to some extent. But Lang was leaving, and was probably already outside the palace. He wondered how much longer he would be staying here...

* * *

 _The Day Dianbo And Reidak Fought_

* * *

Drums beat, erhus played and Chaonao was giving everyone a massive headache.

 _"Welcome back ladies and gentlemen! Is it just me or does it seem like there's far more of you here today?"_

"I don't actually know who to root for." Started Li. "I mean they're both my friends."

"Well me and Reidak go back a bit further than me and Dianbo. So I'm on team tiger."

"Personally I don't really care who wins." Said Saras with a shrug. His mind was beginning to drift to other thoughts. Like what the hell he was supposed to do about Badr's offer. Or whether beating Jiao'ao in this Task would forever cripple their friendship.

Kunjingle, meanwhile, agreed with Li I.

 _"On the right-wing side we have the Fearless Feline, the Cat Without Eyes, the Blind Badass, the Stupendous, Striped Reidak! Tor! Pre! Visla! SQUAWK!"_

"The third." Added the tiger.

 _"And on the left-wing side we have the Indian Imbecile, the Jackal of Jackals, the Raj of Fancy Footwork, the Wondrous Whipper Diaaaaaanbo!"_

The jackal's eye was twitching more violently than ever. In front of him stood a large pile of something, hidden under a large black blanket.

 _"Unleash your preparation!"_

Reidak pulled out his billy clubs. He hadn't prepared for the jackal. Well he had. It wasn't overconfidence, but he hadn't prepared anything. He'd spent a large portion of the past few days meditating. Mostly to get the Beiber Fever out of his head. That necklace had had hold on him for far too long to be healthy.

Dianbo however, had recently gotten his ass kicked by Reidak. He was not about to let that happen in public. He pulled the blanket free, revealing what was underneath. An erhu, some drums, a bucket, a blackboard, a chalk and itching powder.

Reidak frowned. If he were to win this, he had to end it fast as he could. Before the jackal could use any of his sinister ploys.

Dianbo picked up the chalk and blackboard first. He smirked at the charging tiger. Then he drew a single line. Reidak convulsed violently and lost his balance against Dianbo's outstretched foot. The jackal could have launched a flurry of kicks, but that had not served him well at Safi's Place. Snatching the itching powder he hurled it at his fallen opponent.

* * *

"That's brutal." Winced the wolverine. "Enhanced sense of touch means that the urge to scratch will be insurmountable."

* * *

True to Han's words the tiger was scratching away at his fur like a feral animal. What happened next would have made Imperial Army torture look like a walk in the park. The jackal was about as skilled with an erhu as he was at punching. That was probably the point. Next he began scraping his claws against the bucket, much to the tiger's agony. Reidak was simply helpless against the horribly out-of-tune twangs. But Dianbo did not stop there and after what seemed like eternity but was really closer to four minutes, held up another bottle, one that noone had noticed before.

Reidak realized what it was, but could do nothing to stop it from consuming him. His whole body itched, his ears were throbbing, he was 'seeing' double.

"Skunk stink. Very rare. Very potent and hard on your nose. Nothing personal Reidak. But I'm in it for the win." The bottle fell, and the tiger knew no more.

 _"Now_ that _is a decisive victory!"_

* * *

 _The Day Wugu Was Helpful_

* * *

Saras could not stop thinking about Badr's offer/demand.

 _"I want you to win Mister Kanbujian."_

 _If Saras had been drinking anything he'd have done a spit-take. "What?"_

 _"It has become abundantly clear that those who deserve power are those that don't want it, for then they can never be corrupted."_

 _"B-but Mister Tamo-"_

 _"I could have done so much to help this shithole of a town, but I didn't! I only wanted the power. I told myself it was to help people... but really it was just for myself. I need to be able to say I've done something with my life. I need to make it all worth it." There was a furious desperation in the cat's green eyes, and the fox was worried he was about to have a seizure._

 _"You're not that old." Surely... sixty-something was too early to start thinking of building a legacy? Wasn't Master Oogway like a thousand?_

 _Badr gave a small bark of laughter. "I know. But..." The cat took a deep breath. "Whoever wins will become my responsibility. Jiao'ao is heir to a province, Lang is a Lord. I don't know what Naan is, nor do I know anything about Babirasu. Ba is Duyao's student and loathes me as she did, Reidak has a family. Han Guan is a foreigner, I am aware he is your friend so I will not speak badly of him but do you really think ruling is what he's best suited for?"_

 _Saras had no reply to that. If he was better at wording things he'd have pointed out that Dianbo was not on Badr's list. He'd have pointed out that Safi Tamod was his legacy. He'd have pointed out that he'd already dealt with an assassination attempt on him purely because someone thought he was affiliated with the Tamods. He'd have pointed out that there was no way on earth he was good at ruling either, and that giving Han Guan control over a village would open up very lucrative connections in Japan. But he was too stunned by Badr's sudden generosity._

 _"Please... just... think about it."_

Saras had said he would. And in truth that was all he had been doing. So much so that he'd not only lost in Battai, but lost in record time. Over and over and over again.

Of course the others noticed. But of course they didn't understand. Because of course he hadn't told them.

"Geez Shifty, are you _that_ worried about your fight with Jiao'ao?" Asked Li I, after once again obliterating the fox's pile of cards. "Like the arena's open. You can go prepare if you want. I mean we can help you train and stuff. Han can pretend to be Jiao'ao and Kunjingle can be his sword-"

"Wouldn't it be better if I were the sword and Kunjingle were Jiao'ao?" The prospect of swinging the bear around for an entire afternoon had scant appeal for Han Guan.

Kunjingle did a click, a pop, a whistle, a cough, a sneeze and a clack. In that order.

"Yeah, you're closer to the size range of a peacock."

Saras held up his paw for silence. "It's fine guys. I can prepare for it myself." He handed Han the cards and stalked off in the rough direction of the arena. His feet lead the way.

But would he prepare to loose or to beat Jiao'ao? He tried to distract himself with thoughts on how to beat the peacock. He could set up several mirrors, thus increasing his line of vision, thus allowing him to teleport to more random locations, thus not repetitively appearing behind someone's back to get uppercut.

But the more he thought about that the more he thought about Jiao'ao. Jiao'ao who was going to rule an entire province. One chunk of China... perhaps it was best if he let the peacock win and in doing so open up a useful position should he ever need help. But then Babirasu would proceed and Badr would be so furious he's get his tail booted all the way to Gongmen. And then Yei would fall into the paws of whoever Babirasu worked for.

More thoughts on how to beat Jiao'ao sprang up in his mind. Perhaps he could subdue the peacock. He could get some of the fancy hand-cuffs the Imperial army used, the ones that froze your nerve points. Teleport forwards, slam them shut round the peacock's feet, then teleport out before Jiao'ao could retaliate.

And then he found that when he reached the arena all he could do was sit in the sand and ponder and ponder. Did he even want to beat Jiao'ao?

The peacock was his friend, limited though their interactions were Saras didn't know that many people, and liked even fewer. The afternoon passed, and by sunset he still did not have his answer. Jiao'ao, he had to admit, had a far better reason for winning than he did. All the peacock wanted was the approval of his parental figure and to prove himself. In that sense he was similar to Han, though guilt did not motivate him to help the avian. What was he here for, again? To steal a jewel, to kill Temujin. But was the acquirement of Yei necessary to kill Temujin? Aang had always talked of the gem, but it had only become a priority after Saras had brought back the first of four pieces. Bei. Then they'd gotten an anonymous message that Xei was in Japan, lo and behold it has been correct and now they had half the crystal.

But was it all necessary? Temujin was probably an old man by now, far past his prime. It wouldn't have been too much of a stretch to say the Wu Sisters could do it. Of course, the Wu sisters hated him. It was then that Wugu spoke.

"You look lost in thought."

Saras jumped a foot in the air, his fur standing on end. "W-what the h-hell?"

"Did I scare you?"

"How did you end up right next to me?" The fox was holding his chest, his heart beating rapidly.

The fish shrugged with his fins... or at least it looked like he did. Fish were strange creatures. "I thought I'd see how you were doing. So, how are you doing?"

"Great." Said Saras, sitting back down as his heartbeat crawled back down.

There was an awkward pause.

"What happened to Safi?" Started Saras, unsure of how to proceed. He hadn't seen the cat since the escapade at her inn.

"Oh, Badr won't let her leave her room."

"But the Order of the Owl are behind bars."

"The Order of the Owl is bigger than a group of twenty amateurs and one skilled assassin. Besides, he's keeping her in her room because they had a big fight."

"About what?"

"I'm not meant to gossip. I mean, would you really want me to spill your deep dark secrets to anyone who asked?"

Saras paused and decided it was fair. Then after a while he got curious. "How much do you know about me?"

"I know that you are thinking about the offer Badr gave you." At the fox's shocked face the fish explained. "I hear through water, any water, anywhere. So I heard everything."

The fox slumped in his seat. "It's just... I... don't really know why I'm doing... anything."

"You're starting to see that the cause you follow is not as great as it once seemed."

"Y-yeah... how do you know that?" The serene fish who somehow could read him like a book. What a strange person.

"Because I'm the same. Me and Ba have been with Duyao since... forever. My earliest memories are with fish like me, but everything after that is Duyao and Ba. I don't know where she found us, or how, or why she kept us around. She was our mother Kanbujian. Me and Ba couldn't just go to any old orphanage... we were... strange."

Saras regretted his choice of words. It wouldn't have surprised him at that point that Wugu could read minds.

"But she loved us anyways. Ba's always been cold and harsh, but to me and... deep down he's my brother. And Duyao is our mother. We would always bring justice to those who deserved it... we said so anyways but..." He hesitated and took a deep breath. "Badr _was_ a monster, and he's a bit or a jerk now, but he loves his daughter, he cares about his legacy, he regrets a lot. But to Duyao, he will always be a monster. And if you can't see the good in others than that makes you the monster. I'm starting to think that my Mistress is... loosing herself. Maybe she already has."

"That's why you said she was going to kill Safi?"

Wugu nodded. He didn't ask how the fox had figured it out. "So... what are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

It was a long time before either spoke.

Then Wugu broke the silence. "Sometimes the easiest decisions are the ones we regret the most." He gave a small pause. "Sometimes, the easiest path in a forest is the one you make yourself."

 _Sometimes people gave him lousy advice... But was it really that lousy?_

* * *

 _The Day Saras And Jiao'ao Fought_

* * *

Drums beat, erhus were playing and Chaonao was giving everyone a massive headache.

 _"Good morning ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to Match Three of Task Four! On the left we have the Prince of Pride, the Royalty With A Machete-"_

"It's not a machete!"

 _"The_ Pedantic _One, Breaker of Bones, Melter of Metal, Prince Jiaaaaao'ao Of Hunaaaaaaaan! Oh wait I wasn't meant to say that! Sorry! SQUAWK!_ "

Up in the stands Li I did a spit-take. "He's a _prince?!_ "

"You didn't know?" Asked Han.

"You _did?!_ "

 _"He's not a Prince! Sorry! Wrong script!"_

But the damage was done and nobody believed Chaonao. The parrot still did his best to try and suppress everything.

 _"And on the other side we have the Ten Tails Of China! The Teleporting Terror! The One Lang Beat Up! The Bad Actor! The One Who... er... Will Fight The Guy Who'sDEFINETLYNOTNOBILITY! Begin!"_

The peacock was just as eager to prove that, prince or not, he was worthy of winning the tournament. As the crowd cheered and gasped in shock at this new revelation, the avian charged forwards.

The fox sighed in resignation. _"Sometimes the easiest decisions are the ones we regret the most."_ This was certainly not an easy decision. _"Sometimes, the easiest path in a forest is the one you make yourself."_ In other words, think outside the box.

Wugu was right of course, but that did not make the flat of Jiao'ao's massive blade slamming into the side of his face any less painful.

* * *

 _Footnote: Approximately three or four chapters left on Task Four. Then it's Task Five. Now I kind of 'missed out' on some fight scenes in that I could have given both Jiao'ao Vs Saras and Reidak Vs Dianbo the Lang Vs Naan treatment, as in longer, more powerful fights. But... instead I chose to go for a quick pace and some funny fights. I figured what with the whole Musical Chairs Arc and Naan Vs Lang... you should be a bit sick of combat by now (it is actually possible). So I'm giving you something a bit different (up until Task Five which is... largely combat).  
_

 _Lang's leaving was abrupt, I get that, but I thought it was funny. Besides, he's the type of person who does whatever he wants anyways. Once he was out of the running and with Cin Lin no longer running around there was no point for him to stay. Though the real reason I wrote him out was because... well this fic ends on a grim note. I'll say it now. This fic will have a Downer Ending and not everything will be neatly tied up._

 _Reidak Vs Dianbo was I hope, not offensive. It wasn't meant to be. It's just that Reidak does, in hindsight, have the biggest weakness. I also used Foreshadowing ( I do foreshadow a lot actually I just don't remember that I did it ) a powerful technique, to show that it would be a Skunk bomb that took him out. In 'The Fourth Task', it also answers the question as to what would happen if Flower ever had to fight Reidak._

 _I was quite tempted to title this chapter 'The Day You Read This Chapter' but that felt more like a Hercules title._


	50. To Squash A Spider

_The Day They Prepared To Beat Ba_

* * *

"You really didn't have to hit me so hard." Saras complained, rubbing the black eye Jiao'ao had given him.

"How was I supposed to know you were going to throw the match? Communication is key." The peacock had, however already apologized profusely, and was in an unnaturally pleasant mood.

Presently they were waiting for Li I to confirm that they could prep the arena. Saras would have gone himself but had decided to avoid Badr. Still the black cat hadn't seemed angry... at all. It was surprising really. The fox had been expecting at best a beating, and at worst another assassination. Instead he'd gotten nothing but a consolation. He was out of the running, but he could stay for the duration of the tournament. That meant he could still get the jump on Babirasu. Additionally, he was now in a better position to help Han win since he didn't have to compete with the wolverine directly.

Li I burst in, looking as happy as a birthday boy. "We're in. Kuningle got the rope, and he's going for the oil now, then he'll bring that up with the net. We just need to set it up."

* * *

Han Guan was desperate. As in... seriously desperate that he didn't note that Breakfast was surprisingly empty. He was pale and sweating, and stuffing his mouth with the worst sushi in China... how these idiots could fail to mix rice and oils and stuff them in leaves and vegetable slices was incredible!

Reidak noted his disposition and sat opposite him. "You look pale."

Han swallowed, and took another bite of the horrible sushi.

"And you're sweating."

Han swallowed, and took another bite of the terrible sushi.

"And I don't think that the food's healthy for you."

Han swallowed.

"You are nervous about your fight with Ba." The tiger deduced.

"Who wouldn't be? Other than you, and Lang and... everybody else." The wolverine slumped forwards against the table. "I have spent every day between matches reading up on spiders and all I got is bad news. Do you have any idea how strong he's supposed to be? He has about the same range of view as you do and you see _everything_! He spins silk and digests his opponents by putting acid inside them. Tomorrow we are going to fight, and he is going to beat me up in front of everyone, and all I'll have succeeded in doing was bringing more humiliation unto myself and my clan. You know, I think I'm really lucky to have gotten this far Reidak-sama. And you know something else, I think that I would be far more confident if I still had my... _claws!_ I'm pathetic with them, without them I'm less then pathetic, what on earth is less than pathetic? Oh right, me-kun!"

The tiger smacked him lightly on the cheek. "Han. Focus."

The wolverine pawed the wounded cheek. "I needed that." He confessed. Then he sighed in dismay. "But I can't focus! Every time I try to do that... I only think of how much everyone's going to laugh when they see him throwing me around."

"Not everyone's going to laugh." Reidak said, pushing his food away.

"Oh yeah, trust me. Everyone will."

" _I_ won't."

The mustelid had no reply for that and grumbled into the ground.

"Han, you are overthinking. I believe the natural cure, is meditation."

* * *

But meditation did nothing to ease his tensions. In fact, all it did was make him over-think more. What was he supposed to do when he got kicked out of the palace? He'd been here so long he'd almost forgotten what normal life was like!

At lunch he was once again eating shit sushi, but it was worse this time, because his stomach was dancing violently, as if karaoke music was playing in the background.

Mulaohu was the one who noticed his plight this time, Reidak had had business elsewhere.

"Heya Han!"

The wolverine couldn't make words, he was half-sure the sushi had stuck his mouth together.

"You look ill. So you ready for your match tomorrow?"

How could the Chongqing smile about this? He was going to die tomorrow! He shook his head slowly.

Her smile faltered slightly. "Nervous?"

He nodded vigorously.

"Need any help?"

He hesitated before nodding.

* * *

"Okay. Let's just gauge your strength a bit so I know what to work with. Master Tianqi's out of town till the Fifth Task so I'm going to have to do the helping out here. Never really did this before but, there's a first time for everything, right Han?" She said this with a massive grin. It did not exactly fill Han with confidence. "So what's the main issue?"

"The stupid elk cut my claws off so... I have less range."

"Aha, looking to keep your distance. Wise strategy. Try lifting this." She gave him her spear. It was much heavier than usual, but Han Guan could manage to hold it a bit stiffly. "Now swing it." The wolverine did as he was bid, and overbalanced, tripped, and came teetering to the ground.

Mulaohu lifted him up and dusted him off. "No worries, most people struggle with the spear anyways, try this for range." She gave him a crossbow that was closer to the size of a balista. His face became red just from the effort of lifting it. "Now pick a target and shoot!" Han Guan didn't pick a target so much as dropped the crossbow, shot, and watched the bolt sink itself into the ground an inch from his toes.

Mulaohu shook her paw. "Okay then, I see what you need! A blunt weapon!" She tossed him her hammer.

The wolverine's eyes widened, and instinctively he tried to catch it. And he did. Only it was too heavy for him to lessen it's momentum. He slipped, fell on his back and was flattened by the hammer.

"Well... this is going to be a long afternoon." She walked forwards and lifted off the hammer. "Do you want to try the boomerang next? Or would you prefer the sword?"

* * *

At last, after he'd been flattened by two thirds of Mulaohu's collection, he despaired. What on earth was he supposed to do? Reidak's meditation didn't suit him, and anyways he couldn't see everything around him like the tiger could. He couldn't control the air with misshapen hooves and chi. He couldn't lift even one of Mulaohu's collectables. The elk, vixen and bone-guy were nowhere in sight to teach him super-speed, or how to manipulate his skeleton. The elk had lost to Ba anyways. Lang had already left, far too quickly for Han Guan to be able to emulate his rage and strength. Or even his fear factor. And none of his friends were even in the palace! It was so typical of everything to collapse on top of him. He couldn't beat Ba and there was no point trying. He might as well withdraw.

Mulaohu noted his new-found slump. She frowned for the first time that afternoon. "Look... I don't think I can help. Maybe it's best if you trap-up the arena, eh?"

The wolverine nodded slowly, and turned away towards the arena. Mulaohu bit her lip. He was probably going to get butchered the next day...

* * *

Han Guan arrived at the arena. He'd set his mind up. He was going to ask, quietly, to withdraw from the match. Then at midnight he would leave so that he wouldn't have to face the shame of being called a coward. Not that his roommates would call him a coward but... they'd think it.

"SURPRISE!" The wolverine hopped a foot in the air at Li I's excited screech. The bunny beckoned him forwards into the arena, and Han's jaw dropped.

"You built a spider's web?"

"No! Don't be silly. We're sabotaging _Ba's_ spider web!"

"Technically Han, you're cheating." Jiao'ao said with a frown. Kunjingle was was pulling a long rope out of a crate of oil, which Saras the hummingbird was gently threading into the silk.

"No Han, you're not cheating because we got Badr's permission." Li I corrected, shooting the peacock a glare.

"W-what?" He balked at the web.

"Simple. We are placing a well-oiled rope throughout our eight-legged pal's web. At the start of the match you will light the rope on your side, and it will spread to Ba's web, forcing him to fight on the sand, on your terms. Then, you will fight Ba on your side as much as possible, since his side will be on fire and all." The rabbit hopped forwards.

"Here, here and here are holes. You know about them, Ba doesn't. You can use them to make him loose his balance. This is a trip-wire you activate by pulling this hidden lever!" The smaller mammal pointed out the hidden lever as well as the trip-wire. "Ba's main advantage over you are his multiple arms, so you are going to disable them with these." The rabbit showed him a secret cache of tar bombs. "Get his arms all mixed up and then you can out-limb him. Then finally this." The rabbit patted the wall. "Is a spring-loaded, net that will shoot out towards anyone in front of it if you step on _that_ pebble!" The rabbit pointed at the pebble, a small grey thing. "So, what do you think?"

Han Guan blinked. "Er guys... this is great and all but I was kind of slightly a bit thinking that maybe I should... or could, wi-" His face was red from the effort of trying to say 'withdraw'. His friends who had spent the whole day sabotaging his opponent's work and planting top secret hidden weapons all over the place. What was he supposed to say?

"Withdraw?" Offered Jiao'ao, a small frown on his face. For a brief second Han Guan was going to reply with a small 'yes', but then Mulaohu burst in.

"Hey Han! I found the perfect weapons for you!" She held up two small gauntlets, with three wide spikes popping out of the end of it. "They're not as good as claws I know, but it's better than nothing am I right?"

"Wait, Mulaohu! Han was thinking about something important." Explained Li calmly. he turned to his friend. "Go on Han, tell us what you were going to say."

"Win!" Responded Han, fake-grinning from ear to ear. "I was thinking that I would definitely win this match because you all helped me so much!" _He was doomed._


	51. Eight Limbs Vs The Art Of Eight Limbs

_"Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to Task Four, Match Four of the House of Tamod! This time around we have our final match-up before we move onto the finals! Will Japan manage to get a competitor in, or will our creepy spider steal the last spot? Only time will tell! Place your bets now folks!"_

Han Guan was sweating like a pig in an oven. If pigs ever ended up in ovens... or sweated if they did. The point was he was sweating a lot. It was not particularly hot, it was just that Ba was so... honestly Ba was the worst person he could have been matched up against. Lang would have beat him up... but Ba seemed more than ready to kill him. Then again Han Guan had helped lock-up his Mistress a few days prior so... yeah.

The spiked gauntlets felt clunky around his paws, like someone was dragging them down with boulders. Considering the weight they were most likely made of lead. He held a torch in hand, and the oiled rope in the other. His pads were tightened around his elbow, so as not to fall off due to excessive sweating.

 _"In this corner, we have the Second Worst Actor to Participate, the Geisha Girl, the Spy of the Thousand Smells, the Crocodile Hunter, the Champion of Nippon, the one and only Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan GUAAAAAAAAAAAAN! SQUAWK!"_

"If I didn't know any better I'd say Chaonao put a lot of money on Han." Li pointed out, to general agreement.

 _"I put a lot of money on you buddy, so don't let me down!"_

"Huh... I guess I shouldn't know any better."

 _"And in this corner, the Braided Bug, the Angry Arachnid, the Eight-Limbed Eater of Flies, the Tarantula of Terror, it's BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- I mean Ba!"_

The spider seemed less than impressed by his portfolio.

 _"And I gotta say, he's done the most with his prep-time! Ba has single-handedly, or rather eight-handedly spun a Web Worthy of Winners!"_

Ba smirked slightly. His web was truly a masterpiece. Parts of it he'd infused with static electricity to jump out at his opponent when they got near, others had nets of silk ready to shoot out and wrap around an opponent. Some parts were tall, others were weak and would give away beneath the wolverine's weight. He just needed to get his opponent into his side of the arena. It was foolproof... though he didn't remember adding the rope that dangled all the way onto Han Guan's shaking paw.

 _"And Han... has probably meditated vigorously!"_

Well he had tried to... only he hadn't succeeded...

 _"Without further ado! Begin!"_

Han put his torch to the rope, and watched in wonder as it shot through the silk faster than a bolt of lightning.

* * *

Kunjingle did a long, slow whistle which turned into a click half-way.

"Mustard oil." Said Li I, knowingly.

* * *

All eight of Ba's eyes widened in horror as his beautifully crafted web of silk burst into flames around him. Ba was forced to leap away from the fire, which now engulfed his side of the arena completely.

"Hahahahahahahahaha! GO HAN!" Cheered Li, louder than anyone.

"I set up the rope," Muttered Saras darkly.

"And I _bought_ the rope." Muttered Jiao'ao just as darkly.

* * *

 _"Woah! Talk about prep-time! Competitor Han has sabotaged Ba's spider web! Looks like it wasn't worthy of winning after all! SQUAWK!"_

Just when Han Guan was beginning to consider that by some miracle he'd perhaps, maybe, kind of won, Ba burst out of the flames, looking angrier than ever, all six blades gleaming in the light of fire.

The wolverine backed away quicker than a kit from a beehive, but Ba followed suite, the blades twisting around him in a whirlwind of metal. Han clumsily blocked one swing with the old gauntlets, and had to suck in his belly, flatten his ears, and hop off the sand to avoid the five other ones.

 _"So far he's missing it by a hair, can Han turn this match around?"_

This proved unlikely when, after he managed to dodge the six blades for the third time, Ba managed to land both feet on his chest and kick the wolverine towards the border.

* * *

Li and company winced on impact. "This doesn't seem to be going well."

Lang snorted. "You think."

"Lang!?" Exclaimed everyone in unison. Li had done so a bit too close to his ears.

" _What!?_ " Shot back the red panda.

"Y-you said you were leaving." Saras pointed out.

"And you left." Pointed out Li I.

"And? I do what I want, when I want."

"So you want to watch Han beat Ba?" Jiao'ao didn't seem entirely convinced by this explanation.

For a moment Lang looked like he was debating whether he should answer the question or kill them all. They were all relieved when he went for the former. "No! I want to buy a map! But I can't buy a map today because everybody's here! So I am here, passing the time! Happy?"

Ba seemed less desperate to go for the kill now that his opponent had apparently run out of tricks. Sabotaging the spider web had been dishonorable and vile, but dishonorable and vile people rarely managed to overcome him in a fair fight!

Dizzily, Han tried to pull himself out of the barrier. A small lever helped get him into a crouching position. That was before his weight pulled the lever down and dropped him onto his rump. A trip wire shot out of the sand between Ba and himself. The spider raised an eyebrow, Li I facepalmed and Han went pink with shame.

 _"Han Guan has accidentally unveiled one of his traps! This could be game-changing!"_

Digging the gauntlet's claws into the barrier he pulled himself off the ground, successfully this time. He tried to assume a stance, but found that the metal claws were now firmly lodged into the wood. Grunting, he tugged at it.

Ba rolled all eight of his eyes. There seemed to be no reason to drag this fight out any further. He darted forwards, ready to bring his blades deep into his opponent's flesh.

The gauntlet came loose, both from the wall and Han's paw. The momentum of pulling it free shot the glove backwards through the air. Somehow, it caught Ba in the chest. The spider stumbled backwards, and fell over the trip-wire.

The crowd gasped and cheered at what had looked like an excellent throw.

 _"No accident at all! This was entirely part of the Japanese Master Plan! SQUAWK!"_

Unfortunately, Han Guan was too surprised by his sudden miniature victory to properly take advantage of the fact that his opponent was floored. Ba was quick to get back on his feet, slightly disorientated, but otherwise unharmed. The spider charged forwards.

Han dived to the side to avoid the coming attack. All six blades sunk deep into the wood. And directly into the secret cache of tar bombs. The spider tugged at the blades, but even his monstrous strength could not counter the natural stickiness-plus he had used his monstrous strength to bring the blades _in_ in the first place.

 _"An ingenious trick has disabled Ba's blades. Han Guan is now the favorite of the match!"_

The wolverine got up, his elbow blades popping out. Somewhat more confident now that Ba's primary weapons were out of the fight, Han assumed a stance. His left foot found a pebble and a net shot out behind him. It flew all the way to Ba's side of the arena -which was still on fire- and was promptly incinerated.

 _"Er... that was probably on purpose too!"_

The spider growled. His opponent had the luck of the devil it seemed. There had to be no more underestimation. Narrowing his eyes, the arachnid dashed forwards.

Han, more confident now, managed to block the first punch with the flat of his paw, he blocked the second with his elbow and a third with his knee... but there were three more fists coming his way. One caught him on the nose, a second in the chest and a third just under the ribs. Reeling slightly from the pain, Han clumsily blocked another punch, and was promptly nailed by five.

 _"It's entirely possible that this is his battle strategy! SQUAWK!"_

The wolverine threw in a headbutt. The spider was caught by surprise, but barely flinched. Ba's arm shot forwards, grabbed him by the nose, and tossed him away. Han landed hard, and slid through the sand until he came to a halt at the barrier, his mouth full of the dirt.

 _"Nope! And I'm currently regretting some life choices."_

He spat it out as hard as he could, wiped his muzzle clean and stood up. The spider dashed forwards at his turned back. The wolverine crashed into the wall.

Ba grabbed him by the back of the neck and threw him savagely to the ground. He would have followed up with a flurry of punches and kicks, but the wolverine was ready and brought both feet into Ba's chest. The spider hit the barrier and Han climbed to his feet. His claws shot out of his paws, and he slashed forwards violently. The spider was surprised at the deep gash he'd received. He elbowed the spider once, before bringing the elbow back around for another hit.

Using his arms to hold himself against the wall, Ba did a half-flip, violently knocking Han away. The wolverine slid backwards, breathing deeply. They were both better when on the offensive, which meant that his best chance was continuous combat. Throwing off the remaining gauntlet he let his claws shoot out. His elbow pads too, released their claws. He took a final deep breath, and went into a stance.

The spider came to the same conclusion and charged forwards. He spat out a gob of white goo at the wolverine's paw, pulling it down so that he could land a roundhouse kick at his muzzle. Han stumbled slightly, but was able to knee the spider in the stomach. He pulled his paw free of the goo, and threw in a kick of his own. Ba hopped back to avoid it. And landed in a hole even Han hadn't known was there.

There was a brief pause as everyone took a while to process what had just happened (how had the hole even gotten there? Was Han doing this on purpose?) Ba was dizzy from the sudden drop, and was unable to pull himself out in time.

This time Han seized the moment, and swung hard at the arachnid's face. Ba was dazed. The wolverine brought his foot up, and slammed it back down directly atop his opponent's head. Then repeated this procedure several times for good measure. Once the spider was knocked out properly, the wolverine took a step back and breathed deeply.

 _"I HAVE NO REGRETS! WE WON! I'M RICH! SQUAWK!"_

Han smiled lopsidedly, raised his arms in victory, and fell forwards into the sand. _One task left to go..._

He felt something tug at his tail. Then he was being dragged by it. And then he was being spun round in a circle.

 _"I guess I celebrated a little too early?"_

And then he was being thrown forwards. Han rolled through the dirt before coming to a halt at the barrier. He spun round to face his opponent, only for a web of silk to glue his paw to the wall. This was followed by a second to his other paw. Pinned to the barrier his heart began beating ever-faster. The spider charged forwards, looking livid, some of his eyes half-shut in what Han assumed was pain. The wolverine raised both legs and planted them firmly into the arachnid's chest when Ba came into range. The spider fell backwards, but twisted it into a flip halfway. He stood there, glaring at the wolverine with all his eyes.

Han gulped. "You know..." Ba's glare intensified. "I'll shut up now."

"Before I pummel you... I have one thing to ask." The spider said, suddenly much calmer, as if he'd remembered something.

"Aha?"

The spider leaned forwards and whispered into his ear. "Why save Safi Tamod?"

"Well... she was innocent. Well, not really. She's what we in Japan call a meinu. B-but death is... a bit much you know?"

Ba frowned. "I didn't know you were Japanese."

"Er-didn't Chaonao mention it?"

"I don't pay attention to him."

"Well, yes Ba-sama. I am Japanese."

The spider's frown deepened. "You're Wugu's friend. He mentioned... your mother... I assume you want to win?"

"I guess." Han really wasn't used to this much talking. Especially not from the spider.

The spider turned away, and went back to his swords.

It took Han a while to pull himself out of the barrier and the spider's web, but when he finally did, Ba was waiting for him with all six blades.

The wolverine assumed a stance.

The spider's expression was blank."I withdraw."

"What?" Han dropped his stance.

"WHAT?" Li I could not believe his long bunny ears.

 _"WHAT? Well I guess I am rich!"_

* * *

 _Footnote: Hope the fight was satisfying, took a while for me to write, (but that's Black and White's fault) but here it is. Ba's behavior might seem a little strange, but all shall be explained later. The next chapter may not come for a while since I'm traveling (again), but it will have a lot on the spider's backstory, those advancing to the next task, Babirasu and most importantly a final hooray for the characters that are leaving before Task Five.  
_


	52. Battle of Battai!

Saras was in a tremendously good mood the next day. He was leaving the next day, and although that meant he would not be there to watch the finals, it also meant he did not have to watch Jiao'ao, Han Guan, Dianbo and Babirasu fight for first place. _That_ could only end in tears. He would have been in an even better mood if he'd managed to secure Yei- but he supposed he could let the babirusa have one of the gems, after all The Bat Cave had two. Plus Babi had technically given him Bei, so it was only fair that he got to keep his won 'birth' gem. The fox marched determinedly forwards and sat down opposite his frenemy.

"Good luck in the finals. Hope it doesn't hurt too much that I'm rooting for you the least." That... had sounded less rude in his head.

"Hope it doesn't hurt too much that I managed to, you know, get into the finals."

Saras frowned. He knew from experience that Babirasu was better at word games than he was. "Okay, I'll make this simple. I don't want there to be any, ahem, issues between us. So you can keep Yei."

The babirusa raised an eyebrow. "You're serious."

"Of course I am!" He paused for a second, noting that he sounded... a lot like Li. "Look, you saved my life a few years ago, and I never really payed you back for tha-"

"Stop. I really think you misunderstand why I do my job."

"It used to bother me, but then I figured, I would do the same. Sure, the Mongols slaughtered our village and all, but they raised you!" The fox shook his head. "I really spend too much time around Li. My point is I want you to have it."

"But I want you to have it."

The fox blinked. "What?"

"Isn't it obvious?" The babirusa looked torn between amusement and seriousness. "I gave you Bei, okay misinterpretation- but I _told_ you where Xei was."

"What?" Saras repeated.

"Silver Fang Vaults. I know you have it, the wolverine was one of the guards and he knows you from before-"

"It was an unanimous tip-off." The fox was stunned. Was Babirasu trying to fool him?

"Sent by me." Now Babirasu was unamused.

"B-but why?"

The Jit Kun hesitated for a long time, before finally shrugging. "Figured you wouldn't go pillaging with it."

"S-so this whole time you were on my side?"

He shrugged again, though this time there was no hesitation. "It was entertaining watching you try and figure out how to rob me." He paused again. "You don't know much about the Jit Kun, do you?"

"Well I thought I did." The fox snapped, now thoroughly annoyed. "You could have told me earlier you know." It would have saved him a _lot_ of time!

"Like I said, it was fun to watch. But seriously, answer the question."

The fox opened his mouth. "Well... all I really know is that the mongols annihilated them." Aang had spoken a lot about the Jit Kun... though he seemed to know remarkably little now.

Babirasu looked perplexed. "You know about the-" He shook his head. "We'll talk later, anyways I've got to go now."

Saras frowned at his retreating back. This had to be some kind of trick. Babirasu had Yei and was just trying to throw the fox off his trail... after the fox had said he didn't want it? Perhaps he was just paranoid, or suspected that the offer had been a sham. Shame, he'd thought they knew each other better.

"Friendships can be strange."

Saras jumped a foot in the air at the sudden sound of Wugu's voice. "W-what? W-wugu! How long have you been here for?"

"Since this morning. Didn't you notice me when you sat down?"

Saras blinked. "Er-well, I had other things in my mind to be honest."

"I understand." The fish let him sit back down. "Fun match yesterday, wasn't it?"

"Huh, yeah, I guess. Ba could have won you know... But then... he didn't? I mean he beat Hong Ze pretty easily and-"

"I told Ba to hold back."

"You did?" Sometimes he thought he was an idiot for not figuring out stuff like this. Why was he so often surprised? Weren't his species meant to be masters of cunning?

"Of course. Our Mistress is in a comma, and she's being held by the Imperial Army. We only came here because of her and well... Badr's not going to let Ba win even if he got to the finals. Mind you... burning up the web pissed him off. I think he wanted to beat Han... but didn't want to at the same time."

"He must be difficult."

"No. He's just my friend. Like you and Babi. I think you don't like him."

"I don't _hate_ Babi. It's just com-like I don't know how much to trust hi-, you're talking about Ba?" The fish nodded. "Well half the time he threatens to kill me, and he glares at me for the other half, not much of a basis for friendship."

"Like I said. Friendships can be strange." The fish's bright green eyes fixed themselves upon him. "You mustn't really judge him for what he seems like. It's just most people don't want to go anywhere near him."

Saras could understand that, and even related to those people! But of course he wasn't about to say that.

"Spiders aren't that common to begin with, and his size doesn't help. He went to school once you know... only... he almost strangled someone. It's not easy being hated by everyone for what you are."

"No." Agreed Saras, feeling the smallest twinge of pity for Ba. "It can't be."

Wugu beamed at him. "You're a nice guy you know."

"Well... thanks I guess."

They lulled into silence as they ate their breakfast.

* * *

Saras walked away later on, not thinking of what Babirasu had talked about (which he regretted, he _should_ have been thinking about), but imagining what it would have been like to be born a spider. Of course... that would mean coming out of an egg. And he would have found the extra arms cumbersome rather than superior. Hell even his _tail_ could be cumbersome, let alone four extra limbs.

He was stolen from this trail of thoughts by a scroll that narrowly missed his head.

"Sorry." Said Jiao'ao, though he didn't sound like he meant it in the slightest. "I'm just having an awful morning."

"So you decided to take out all your anger on the guy who so kindly didn't beat you up in public." Saras shook his head, too content to really care. "I'm disappointed." The fox marched past.

"Well regardless of you throwing the match, I cannot proceed to the Finals."

Saras froze, taken aback by the sudden news. "Huh?"

"I received a summon from my father. I must return to Henan _now_." The peacock scowled. "And don't suggest not going. I already had to point out to Li that to ignore this is equal to treason, which is punishable by death."

"Your father would seriously kill you for something like this?" Did dads this bad really exist?

" _No!_ " The peacock snapped. He took a long hissing breath to calm himself. "But it would bring shame to my family if I had to go before the emperor to answer for treason. _As it is_ , I should have never been here to begin with! Gah! Four Tasks in and he realizes!" His nostrils flared so wide Saras was worried his beak would break. The peacock turned his attention back to him. "The scroll is for you. You'll need it for the next tas-"

"But I lost."

"You threw the match, and I withdrew, so _you_ proceed."

Saras blinked and the peacock slammed the scroll into his paw.

"Good luck." He said bitterly. The avian turned and left. He got as far as three feet before a brightly-colored blur known as Li I came to a halt in front of him.

"Stop! It took me two hours, seven bruises, forty-five near-misses and fifty yuan, _but_ I convinced Lang to celebrate with us-"

"Celebrate? I am _leaving!_ "

Li flailed his paws wildly. "Yes celebrate! Look, you guys have been a huge part of my life for the past few weeks, and the last time one of my friends moved out I didn't get to say goodbye and ended up crying through fifty-seven towels! I don't have that many towels here, so we're all going to town for one final hooray! I'm paying, oh and Shifty, this is really obvious but you're invited too."

"Li." The peacock explained patiently, like one would to an illiterate child. "I have just been eliminated from this tournament, there is no way on earth I will attend any kind of celebration on this day."

* * *

It took Li only half an hour to convince the peacock to join them and as a result he, Jiao'ao and Saras were a bit late.

The rabbit's idea of a party seemed to be to eat a restaurant out of business and empty his wallet by paying for everyone's food.

"Did you invite everyone?" The peacock scowled deeper. If he had to explain why Saras got to proceed instead of him he would flay someone! Okay, that was harsh. He would _pay_ someone to flay someone else!

"Well Babirasu didn't want to, Wugu wanted to spend some time with Ba and I wasn't going to invite Safi... so everyone else, yeah."

Reidak was reading a book while Han stared at him expectantly. Mulaohu was matching Kunjingle chopstick for chopstick, both seemed determined to eat faster than the chef could cook and the waiter could count. Dianbo looked bored and Lang was casually chewing an apple.

"Okay, we are here! Now the party can _really_ begin!" The rabbit tossed a truly massive pack of cards onto the table.

"Cards?" Jiao'ao sounded like he needed another half hour of convincing.

"Battai cards!" Han needed no convincing to snatch them in his paws and begin shuffling.

"A kid's game?" Dianbo sounded skeptical.

"It's not a kid's game!" Snapped both bunny and wolverine simultaneously. Kunjingle too if you counted the sound of belly-drumming. "Look, Reidak's leaving, Lang's leaving, Jiao'ao or Saras is leaving, not sure about that. You're competing against Han soon, and not sure after that. My point is, this is probably the last time we'll all be in the same place at the same time... sooooo we can all do something fun."

Mulaohu shrugged. "What are the rules?"

"Are we playing Standard or Multiplayer?" Asked Han.

"Multiplayer." Now Li was in his element. "As for the rules: It's simple! There are four suits, Hearts, Clubs, Spades and Diamonds, each set has there own representative of animal species, Wolverine of Hearts, Chongqing of Clubs, eccetera. You all get a random bunch of cards and then you have to pick which of your cards you're going to put in the center. You place one card each in the center face-down and then reveal it when we've all done the same. The point of the game is to get all the cards, and the winner is the one who gets the most. Once you use a card though you can't use it again, unless it's your only card.

"But how do we know which cards beat what?" Asked Mulaohu, already staring intently at the cards Han had passed to her.

"With this many people and all the cards in play you won't need to think about what to put down until later on. And by then you'll have figured it out." Saras pointed out.

"So we're all set?" Asked Li, eagerly fingering his set.

And so the first set of cards were laid on the table. Predictably most of the newcomers placed down the cards of their own species. Tiger of Diamonds, Dog of Clubs, Jackal of Hearts, Red Panda of Clubs, Peacock of Hearts, Saras had laid down the Rat of Diamonds, Han the Skunk of Clubs and Li the Pig of Spades.

For a while everyone stared dumbly at the center of the table.

"I'm sorry but, who won?" Jiao'ao spoke in a tone that tried to convey lack of interest, but the question itself proved that he _was_ interested in the outcome.

"Well, Skunk of Clubs beats everyone here except for Rat of Diamonds so... Shifty takes the win."

Reidak frowned. "I'm not sure how the Skunk wins this round."

"Skunks are Over-Powered in this game." Han pointed out. "But Rats shove their suits up their nose so they're immune to them."

"But my Tiger beats his Rat, so don't I get the point?"

"Well we're playing clockwise, so yes the Tiger beats the Rat, but teh Tiger doesn't get to the rat."

Saras scooped up the cards and piled them neatly next to him. The smirking rat with diamonds sticking out it's nose was his new favorite card.

"It's one point," Growled Lang, now fully hooked onto the game. "Are we playing or not?"

Lang won the next round, and the one after that, and the third one, thus removing all the Skunks from the playing field. Reidak got the fourth set with an elephant, and Mulaohu won the fifth with the Rat of Hearts. But then Han swooped in with the Ferret of Spades, earning him the sixth set. The wolverine went on to dominate the early game phase, up until set ten where Jiao'ao's Peacock of Diamonds rocked the game a little, allowing Dianbo to take the eleventh set with the Tanuki of Spades. Kunjingle took the lead after that, winning twelve consecutive sets through, as he put it, belly-pat wolf-whistle click click pop.

Li gave them bits of trivia about Battai whilst they played. Han's set comprising of Two-hundred and twenty-five species was extremely difficult to find. Most people just sold the Lunar animals, some used the Horoscope signs, he even knew someone with a Battai set comprising of kitchen equipment.

By now the others had caught onto how the game was played, and determined to at least not come last they fought for every point tooth and claw! Now it was the setting of the cards that took longer, while the 'who won it' of the game was over the second all cards were put the right way up. The points were racking up on all sides now, and the tempo was increasing. It continued in this way until finally, there was only the counting left to do. Copious amounts of sweat was trickling down their foreheads to join the lake of perspiration on the floor. The mood was tense, and then the cards were passed to the left, so that the counting was done accurately. Still the nerves were so high that almost everyone lost count once and had to start over. Then at last.

"Kunjingle has one hundred and eight cards." Announced Reidak, handing the bear back his pile.

"I have eighteen." Frowned Saras. He'd won the first and last sets and none inbetween. How typical.

"Twenty-seven." Growled Lang. The Skunks had been the only success he's enjoyed the entire match.

"Three hundred and thirty-three." Said Han, and that was the end of the discussion. The wolverine had won thirty-seven sets out of the hundred ones. Noone had come that close.

"Good game, well played." Yawned Mulaohu, stretching wide and handing the wolverine back his cards. "Let's go for a walk. I need to get some blood back in my legs."

Jiao'ao opened his beak to argue, but Lang spoke faster. "Good idea. And I can buy my map. Let's go." The peacock shut his beak, his frown ever-deeper.

His frown was turned upside down when he spotted a speed-artist. A pig who could accurately paint a portrait in minutes. He thought back to what Li I had said about this being the last time they'd be together, and suddenly he realized that the rabbit was probably right. He was going to be a high lord one day, the other's paths were not set and could change on a whim. They were low-born and strange. Han smelled and Shifty was strange. Li was loud and Kunjingle could not speak. Lang in a good mood was angrier that even his father. Mulaohu and Dianbo lived the life he wished he could have had and Reidak had been everywhere and seen nothing. He would miss them, he realized with an unfamiliar squirming in his stomach.

"Wait guys. I'd like a picture if you don't mind." The others turned to him. "So that I don't forget you guys."

"Awwwwww! He'll miss us!" Cheered Li, the rabbit however was quick to stand next to him, his grin wide.

The portrait looked more funny than heartwarming. Mulaohu was beaming. Dianbo was too slow to change his scowl into a smile, and so was scowling. Reidak looked relaxed. Lang was glaring at what he felt was a waste of his god-damned five minutes! Kunjingle was squeezing the life out of Saras (who looked like he needed to breathe) and Jiao'ao was poised and polite in the center of it all. And Han was sneezing.

But the peacock beamed at it. It was something he would cherish. Coming to this tournament was easily the best decision of his life.

"Are we going to get my map or do you want to smile at that paper for another few hours?!"

* * *

It took them most of the day to get find Lang's map, and the sun was very low by the time they began the long trek back to the palace. They walked in silence now, though silence never lasted long when Li was around.

"So, what are we gonna do when this tournament's over?"

Jiao'ao was bitter again. "I'll be the Lord of Henan, _eventually_." The peacock sighed. "When that happens I might not have the time for Kung Fu."

"Think you have it tough? I'll be moving to a country I've never seen, who speak a language I barely know. I don't even know anyone there." Dianbo frowned. "Being Lord's not too bad."

"I'd swap with you." The avian snapped.

"Likewise."

"In a heartbeat."

"Oh please you guys, I should be the super-disappointed one. Three Tasks, one broken inn, apprehended assassins and my dad _still_ has no idea where I am! Either he lives somewhere real remote or he's deaf." The rabbit sighed, then grinned. "I think I'll check Japan next."

Kunjingle yawned, clicked his paws and whistled.

"Yeah! And Han can show us all the important places!"

Han gave a nervous chuckle. "Yeah about that... I mean unless I win... I'm kind of-er avoiding Japan."

Reidak shook his head. "You got to the finals, that in itself is an achievement. And even if, yes, you were lucky, then you should be proud of your _luck_. Personally I think I'm going to start settling down. Spend some more time with my family and such."

"Me and Master Tianqi shall continue progressing in our Kung Fu! We shall also continue our work with and for ferals." Mulaohu shrugged. "Business as usual. I hope you guys keep in touch."

"I will." Li I assured her. "Amber Palace, right?"

Before she could reply Lang snorted. "I bet I'll forget you all in a week."

Li frowned at him. "And here I thought I had changed your life for the better."

"You have, he's joking." Saras pointed out.

"I am _not_ joking. My life is hectic and complicated enough without me reminiscing about you clowns. It's nothing _personal_ , but we come from two different worlds. Best to keep it that way. So don't go expecting letters and postcards and love notes."

"Can you at least promise to not forget us?"

"If we meet again I won't kill you." Lang replied evasively.

Saras shrugged. "I'll take what I can get."

At this they all laughed.

The sun set in a glorious flare of colour and there was not a single cloud in the sky. Life was beautiful.

* * *

 _Footnote: I've been meaning to write down a rule set for Battai in a while to be honest, glad I found the opportunity._

 _Hopefully you all enjoyed this 'ending.' The story continues, but it gets a bit darker from here on in, so this is probably the best place to stop if you're squeamish XD_

 _This is the last we see of Reidak, Lang and Jiao'ao for this story. But I think I'll be using them again in later stories (probably) so it's not really the end of the line. I especially hope in the case of Reidak and Lang that I used them well since they don't really belong to me and all that. But I enjoyed writing them and think I did a better job than last time. Not that I did a horrible job with them last time, it's just my writing's improved and all that._

 _Babirasu's a fun character to write and I almost lament that I could not write him more, but I do like him remaining in the background of stuff for now. I don't want to say too much about him or Ba for the moment though since they do have large parts to play further on._

 _Now for my (KFP) schedule. I'm going to be finishing this story soon-ish, hopefully before Halloween. Afterwards I will be tweaking Between Brothers a bit (it's not a full re-make but I will be re-doing some chapters and editing some scenes. Nothing tooooooo extensive and it shouldn't take too long but there's just a few things that don't add up to the big picture or that I'd like to do differently. More on that later but think PTSD... I will also be editing exactly ONE chapter of Journey to Japan (take a guess) since there's only ONE thing I'd like to change in that story. Bizarrely Village Champion is not getting changed at all... weird considering that it's been a while and you'd think I'd want to tweak something in it, but aside from spelling errors it still holds up as well as I expect. Then End of an Era will roll out and bring everything neatly together. Though how long *that* will take me is anyone's guess._

 _Enjoy._


	53. Stormclouds Inbound

**A/N: Hi everyone, I'm not dead. Okay, now we're moving towards the final arc of House of Tamod where things get... dark. You have been warned. I was a bit perplexed before I started writing this as to whether the ending would have the same impact as last time. Sure it was a long time ago, but most of you know 'how it ends'. My doubts have vanished in this regard. I think all shall be clear at he end of this chapter.**

 **I'll probably forget to say this at the end so I'll say it here. Thanks to Mind Jack for letting me use Cin Lin. She was pretty fun to write. This chapter is merely a little send-off to her. Had some fun with her and the Order of the Owl (hope I didn't make them look... I dunno... puny?) It also catches us up with where Wong and Safi have been these past few days.**

 **On a note not related to this fic. There's a new Kung Fu Panda Tv Series. Paws of Destiny or something like that. I remain cautiously optimistic about that but... kinda wish that they had gone for an entirely 2D art style. A bit too reminiscient of LoA...**

* * *

There were several holding cells in the vicinity of the Palace of Tamod. Like the tournament itself it was used about every fifty years. Currently it had it's largest recorded hold of a total of twenty assassins and one commatose frog thought to be involved in the ruckus at the new inn. Well, the now sunken inn. To say Chifu was proud was the understatement of the dynasty! Everywhere he went he told everyone about his success. Thirty apprehended _singlehandedly_ in the course of one evening! He was just waiting for his promotion!

Presently he was dressed in a set of brand new silken sleeping robes. He had figured that after making history he ought to treat himself to something good! He settled into his brand new bedsheets and lay his head on the brand new pillow He settled in comfortably to the sounds of loud arguing coming from below.

* * *

"I'm sick of this! I need something _-anything!-_ that's not prison fuel!" The gorilla tossed a large bowl of gruel out of his cell.

"You mean food." Pointed out the hooved assassin, who was safely two or three cells away. His plea for correct vocabulary went unheard as it was drowned out by loud shouting coming from the cell opposite the ape.

"I just ditched fleas you idiot!" The half eaten bowl of gruel had collided heavily with the dog, who was presently trying to shake himself clean.

"Too bad." Grunted the ape.

"Say you're sorry you mangy monkey!" He growled, somehow looking more like an assassin than ever before.

"Who're you calling a mangy monkey?" Grunted the gorilla, his hands tightening round the bars.

"You you fatass!"

"Who're you calling a fatass?"

The dog was no longer listening. Such was his desperation to remove the barely-edible sludge from his fur. He continued ranting loudly and swearing at the top of his voice until finally the gorilla decided he was the one being insulted. Roaring and beating his chest he momentarily forgot about the bars and barged right through them.

The dog went silent. The ape paused, looking left and looking right. "Right." He said slowly, his mind piecing together the empty cell and the bars in his big monkey hands. It seemed to take forever for him to realize he'd just busted out.

"Excellent work." Came the sarcastic voice of Cin Lin.

"Master!" The gorilla hastily dropped into a bow. So hastily that the door he'd been holding came crashing heavily into the ground. Cin Lin facepalmed and dragged her paw across her face.

"Master! Forgive us for our failure!" The hooved assassin dropped into a bow.

The lynx waved her paw dismissively. "Our client is no longer able to secure the funds we agreed upon. So we are returning to base."

There were cries of relief.

"Where you will be scrubbing the halls on a daily basis."

There were several (hastily muted) groans of protest.

Quickly and methodically the lynx broke through the dilapidated locks. Not even pausing to inquire as to why one of her number was covered head to foot in prison porridge.

"Now let's go." Se spared a contemptuous glance for Duyao. Hopefully the frog would not wake up and speak of her 'failure'. It was bad for business.

The door shut behind her just as the frog's eyes burst open.

* * *

Wong was often drunk these days. What else could he be? Fat and slow-minded with a bad accent. He drank often, but normally he was never drunk, or at leas he never got hungover. Now though? Ever since his humiiating Third Task defeat he'd been drinking enough sake to burst even his wide stomach. He had lost, and worse still, he'd lost to the King of Losers. The Basard of Clan Guan. Japan's Greatest Shame. He had a list! And he could have made fun of the wolverine all he wanted after the mach but no. He'd lost fair and square in front of everyone. Did this mean Han Guan was some very powerful, honarable, worthy son of his mother? Of course it didn't! It meant that he, Wong, was the _Emperor_ of Losers! The Bastard _of the_ Bastard of Clan Guan! Japan's Greatest Shame's _Greatest_ Shame!

The crocodile burst into loud, noisy tears. It made no difference anyways. At this time of night noone would hear him. And even if they did, did it matter? He was nothing here. Less than dirt.

Back to the sob story. He'd stayed off the drink long enough to be sober for the wolverine's match. Perhaps, he'd hoped, he could desictare the muselid's corpse when the spider was done with him. But no. The spider could have won, but didn't! Insead Han-fucking-Guan was proceeding directly to the finals and he was being left in the dirt.

"I know what it feels like you know. To be less than dirt." Wong could not make out who was talking. Probably the barman threatening to throw him out.

"I also know what it's like to hate someone so much you'd do anything to ruin them. I just have better reasons to be a hater." An old frog that was semi-familiar swam in Wong's vision, there seemed to be at least fifty of her.

"I used to hate this you know. I wanted to do good. Bring justice." The frog gave a soulless chuckle. "Justice is just another word for revenge."

Wong wanted to bat away the annoying voice but for some reason was unable to move.

"So why not embrace who you are Wong? Your hatred doesn't make you a monster. It's what you do as a result of it that defines you."

Too many difficult words. "Fuck off!" Wong went for another swig of his bottle, but found his paw in a vicelike grip.

"That won't bring you peace." She held up a smaller bottle. The contents burned bright red and illuminated her grinning face. "This might."

* * *

Safi and her friends stayed in silent vigil, her paws encased in the hooves, wings and claws of her three best friends. Well, only friends. They were commoners but unlike the riff-raff polluting her home hey weren't interested in money. They were her friends because they agreed on everything and liked the same things. Because she could count on them for love and support.

Safi sighed. "If it asn't for dad's tournament we'd be serving customers now."

"Well at least we're alive." Said the pig. "The Imperial Army says that a bunch of assassins were after Safi!"

"They must have been hired by some jealous inns!" Shrieked the goose, as if this was the most obvious soluion.

Safi shook her head. She loved them all, but sometimes they were so naive! "It was the shapeshifter, the stinky Japanese guy and that jackal that used to stalk me. At least they're stuck in the palace until tommorow. And after tommorow we only have to deal with whoever the winner is."

"They're no that bad you know." Started the croc, awkwardly, as if what she was about to say was indecent. "I find the rabbits cute." She admitted.

The goose shook her head. "They're identical twins. You ought to stay away from those. Remember Mong and Pong?"

They all nodded in rememberance of Mong and Pong.

"Forget the rabbits. You're better off with a real man. Anyways we'll soon be free of those assholes. And when we are we pretend this never happened. We open our inn, bigger and beter than before. And this time, with insurance!"

The girls all cheered this statement. Safi yawned widely. "I should sleep soon anyways. See you girls later."

They bade her goodnight before quickly resuming the talks of Lili and her boyfriend troubles.

Safi strolled briskly up the staircase. She could see flickering candlelight coming from the windows ahead. Hopefully the dumb servants remembered to fill her hot water bottle.

Then suddenly a figure stepped out of the darkness and towered over her. He was so wide that she could not proceed further without getting her feet wet on the dew-ey grass. And that was never going to happen. "Out of my way!"

His eyes darted towards her. They burned bright red. Safi flinched, but recovered her courage. Some of it anyways.

"Please step aside."

His eyes continued to stare at her, as if trying to peer into her soul.

"My daddy owns that palace!" She snapped angrily, pointing up at the peculiar building that so resembled a large, white, naked, porcupine.

"Your father is a monster." Said a vaguely familiar voice. The short frog judge stepped out of the shadows and into the light of Wong's glare. Her grin made her somehow... less natural. "And so am I."

"I don't know what you want from me." Said Safi backing away. "But I have power! Friends in high places. I can destroy you if I wanted to."

"Gloating. Just like your father. Well... wrong choice. Next time try running."

The last thing Safi remembered was a scaled fist coming towards her beautiful face.

* * *

Wugu shivered violently. For some reason he was very cold. Which was odd as normally he was never cold. Ba had hanged his water, wrapped his glass container in a blanket and wrapped him in webbing for good measure too. The webbing was in truth, the only way he could sleep. It was one of the few, rare materials that blocked ou his ability to hear through water, thus allowing him to rest without having to hear about random, useless pieces of gossip. It drowned outthe useless information. He'd have laughed at that if he wasn't so cold. Ba had gone for a walk... if only he had stayed, Wugu could have asked for another blanket.

Of course, Ba hated him now. And Duyao probably did too. He had not seen his Mistress since he'd betrayed her. And although the spider tried to act as if there was nothing between them Wugu could tell, that beneath all his mind manners rage was simmering.

There were times, lots of times these days, where he wondered whether or no he'd made the right choice. He'd traded an innocent stranger (albeit a rude and insensitive one at that)'s life, for his own, Ba's and Duyao's. His family... his only family. He wanted nothing more than to just go back home, and act as if the invitation had never come. But that was impossible now that Duyao was behind bars.

He shivered again. He just needed rest.

He was beginning to fall into sleep's embrace, when suddenly he heard the creaking of a door. "Ba?" He called, though he knew it could not be Ba. Ba never made the doors creak. And Duyao was locked up, so it could not be her either. Perhaps it was the wind.

"We all make choices Wugu." He froze, paralyed by fear. His heart hammering. His breath caught in his gills.

"I chose to kill Badr. You know how much that meant to me. You know... better than anyone maybe."

He could not move! It was as if the water around him had turned to ice.

"Did you love me? Ever? Can a pathetic little thing like you even love?"

 _Yes! Alway! Of course!_ He wanted to say, but he was too scared to do anything. He wished now more than ever, that Ba had not gone for his walk.

"Scared?" He managed to flinch. Never had he heard his Mistress jeer before. Not even when she was about to kill.

The webbing, the blanket, the casket of water and Wugu were all hurled a the wall. The glass cracked into a thousand pieces around the terified fish. A fist punched through and grabbed him by the middle. He shut his eyes, ready for the end to come. He dangled in her grip, his gills burning in the air, his fins shaking. His eyes screwed so tightly shut not even his tears could leak out. He was going to die here, cold and alone at the hands of the closest thing he had to a mother. And he was not going to stop her. How could he? He loved her.

"Look at me!" The frog yelled, and Wugu was forced to look. His brigh green eyes were wide and filled with terror and tears. For half a second it seemed she would come to her senses. She stared into those eyes. The eyes of a child she had loved and raised. They brought with tem memories. Of laughter, of peace and serenity. Of Wugu's sweet, sweet childish innocence. Duyao would have stopped and dropped him into the nearest of body of water and begged forgiveness.

But Duyao would have never come this far to begin with. And she was no longer Duyao. She was a monster.

"Traitor! Monster! Hater! Killer! The frog! The rabbit! The pig! The dog! The fox! Badr Ajam! _Badr Tamod!"_

With every cry of rage she brought the fish heavily into the wall. He was dead by 'killer' but Duyao did not stop and she had no intention of stopping. Not until his bones were broken to dust. She hurled his limp form upon the ground, and brought her foot down on Wugu's dead chest with vicious fury. There was a sickening crunch and then... silence.

Breathing deeply the frog stepped backwards. She giggled. He deserved this. Wugu deserved this. She would do the same to Badr tommorow.

The fish looked like he was sleeping. This made her laugh more. Wugu never slept outside. He was always in his fishbowl. He would get cold.

Now the laughter came thick and hysterical. She kicked his corpse into a corner and left, laughing all the way.

Wugu lay motionless. Cold and alone.

Up above the palace, stormclouds were gathering.

* * *

 _Footnote: Pretty dark. And sad. I liked writing Wugu a lot (not his death. This was kind of hard to write.)_

 _Wugu was always created to be killed off. Sounds sad. But he represents Duyao's moral compass. With him broken so to speak there is nothing stopping Duyao from going full-villain. She's past the point of redemption now. You know sometimes I can't decide wheher I like Badr and Duyao. It seems that in one chapter I make them semi-likeable... only for them to go evil in the next chapter. Both of them._

 _One of the reasons I ended up ressurecting Han and technically Li for Journey To Japan was because in the past a 'shock death' seemed really cool. Now I think that a major character death is only needed to advance the story. I don't like writing surprise deaths (don't really mind reading them. Gut punches can be fun) because then I feel like I miss out. This one for example I think, is my finest 'death' scene. Heartbreaking. And altough it is technically a 'shock' death, it serves a purpose. Several purposes really._

 _And it gets worse. For now I'll just let this... sink in._

 _R.I.P. Wugu_


	54. Five Gates

"Looks like it'll rain today." Said Saras glumly.

"Excellent! I love the rain!" Li I bounded towards the window. As soon as he looked out of it his face fell. "You know, when you said rain I was thinking, some dew, few droplets, lots of sunshine. This is a thunderstorm waiting to happen. I _hate_ thunderstorms. Who wants to be thunder-buddies?"

"How old are you?" Asked Saras, snorting with laughter.

"What? I had one back at the orphanage. Didn't you have one in... wherever you're from again?"

The fox momentarily froze. He really ought to come up with one clear fake-backstory. "I was never scared of the lightning anyways." He thought the reply had come out rather smooth.

" _Thunder_ -buddies."

"I didn't have one either." Added Han.

Li I stared exasperated at Kunjingle, who merely shrugged.

"At least you can have an umbrella." Reasoned Dianbo.

"Like I packed one!"

Dianbo shrugged. "The stands should be relatively dry anyways."

It had been a few days since Reidak, Lang and Jiao'ao departed. With their retreating backs came tension. The finals were here at last. To make matters worse they had all been confined to their rooms, so as not to get a sneak-peak at the work-in-progress arena. Dianbo looked pale but calm. Han Guan was sweating up a storm and anxiously pacing the room. Even Saras felt the butterflies flapping around in his stomach. Regardless of who won, he should be happy. They were all his friends in one way or another. It was not who won that bothered him, but rather what they had to go through to win. Hopefully nothing dangerous. It surprised him how not-dangerous this tournament had been in hindsight. Sure there had been the whole fiasco with the Order of the Owl, but within the arena itself he'd never really been in danger.

There was a knock at the door and after a brief pause Badr Tamod entered, beaming widely, though his eyes looked troubled. "May all those proceeding to the finals please come with me. Those who wish to watch the Final Task, please make your way to the arena."

Saras, Dianbo and Han Guan followed, clutching the Scrolls they'd won (or in Saras' case, been given). In hindsight he could have spent some more time analyzing it. Would have probably been more useful than waiting for rain...

Badr stopped to collect Babirasu. They passed Mulaohu, who threw them all a thumbs up. At last they arrived at the Palace steps facing towards the village below. Collectively their jaws dropped.

One corner of the village was covered from head-to-foot in vines and creepers and shrubbery. Another was filled with mud and boulders and pebbles and all kinds of earth. The third looked like it was underwater. Another was covered in clear metal, wih numerous weapons sticking out of the ground, visible even from where they stood. The last one was aflame. Leading to each corner was a massive gate with the respective element carved onto it. Carved into the sides of the valley were enough seats to accomodate a hundred comfortably. In the center of the village there were four little huts and a miniature colliseum.

"Simple Task this time round. You have all been assigned an element. Your job is to get to the center of the village, wherein you will find the prize. You will also find a few traps within, so be wary. What Element have you been assigned?"

"Fire." Said Babirasu. Saras was tempted to snap 'typical'. Seriously, why did he get all the easy jobs? He wasn't _that_ good!

"Earth." Murmured Dianbo, his eyes twitching madly as they tried to decipher the quickest possible path through the labyrinth of mud and stone.

"Er- water." Squeaked Han. Fitting, he was already dripping.

"Wood." The element of... Saras wasn't too sure what wood represented. Fuel? Homes? Dryness? He would be anything but dry if there wasn't a decent tree to hide under.

Badr nodded. "Please make your way to your respective Gates."

* * *

Ba's walk took far longer than he'd expected. The spider was forced to go round the entire village, rather than through it, as such he was back at the palace by the time the gong struck. Wugu wouldn't like missing out on the action. But Wugu would no press the matter either so there was no reason to hurry.

Or at least he thought. When he reached the corridor and saw the door to their dorm wide open he felt his heart skip a beat. Perhaps the fish had gone to the arena without him? Wugu was likeable and the bear probably would have done him the favour.

Yet for some reason, with every step closer grew a feeling of dread like no other. A deep... not really pain but... strange, uncomfortable sensation. It was as if a portal had opened up inside of him, and thrown his innards into the abyss.

The room was a mess. Water lay in a pool around a cabinet of broken glass surrounded by a wet blanket and old, dry webbing. That was enough to wind him. Then his eyes, all eight of them, found the fish's dead body lying in a corner. His heart skipped a beat.

"No." He wanted to yell it, but it came out as a whisper. There seemed to be no air left in his lungs and he could no longer breathe. Tears found their way to his eyes, all eight of them, yet he found no strength to blink them back as he had done so many times before. His legs gave out from under him, and he collapsed into an untidy heap on the floor. He crept forwards, hoping in what he knew was vain, that somehow Wugu would yet draw breath. _What a silly thought... he needs water to breathe._ To the outside world he could have been mistaken for someone sleeping. But up close Ba could see that beneath a thin layer of miraculously undamaged scales lay a pile of broken bones. His vision was getting blurry from the tears now. Everything was out of focus. It was like a bad dream. The worst kind of dream.

* * *

 _"And they're off! Han Guan is starting slowly at the Gate of Water! Probably doesn't want to slip on the ice, and he had better not! That water is filled with piranhas, sharks and other monsters of the deep! One misstep could cost him his life! SQUAWK!"_

This did not, for some reason, make Han feel better. He wasn't too sure what water represented in the Chinese Wu Xing formula. In Japan water represented the formless, flowing, fluid things in life. Plants were also classified under 'water' funnily enough. The Chinese had an entirely separate classification for 'wood', which greatly confused him.

What confused him more was why he was thinking about the Godai and Wu Xing while precariously balanced on a wet, melting slab of ice. How Badr had even gotten slabs of ice here was questionable in itself. And apparently there were so called monsters of the deep waiting just under him.

Still, he never gave up. Extending his claws as far as they would go (pitifully short by his standards), he leap-frogged from iceberg to iceberg, digging in to the melted water with as much force as he could. After every successful jump he needed at least a minute to recooperate, and to pull his claws back out the ice.

It was painfully slow progress, though much preferrable to getting eaten.

* * *

For the first time since the tournament had started Dianbo seemed to have gotten the easy round. Sure there was the occasional boulder he had to dodge, and the ever-appearing pits of quicksand he was forced to jump over. But compared to Master Flying Rhino's training regime this was a walk in the park. It would even be enjoyable if it wasn't raining so much. Then again if it wasn't raining he would be forced to listen to Chaonao.

Earth represented stability. Stability and patience. Which he figured to mean he had to walk continously forwards non-stop to reach his goal. The side-streets were filled with traps no doubt, to prevent those not in-tune wih their element from passing easily. This theory was proven correct when, distantly, he could see a hut growing closer.

* * *

Saras was lost. He was ninety percent sure he'd passed the same tree three times already. He was in a maze, that much was obvious. Though this was a maze with a twist. He was almost entirely sure that it moved occasionally. There were no walls in the same place, but the large, flowery trees all looked the same. He was going round in circles- no _eggs_. But he did not know what was the top or the bottom of the egg.

His suspicions were confirmed when he found himself back where he'd started, facing the enormous gate with the symbol of wood carved into it. Letting out a low growl Saras turned to march back into the forest when a brilliant idea hit him. Why in the name of wood was he still above ground?

There was a puff of green and a moment later a mole was digging into the soil at his feet. He just had to make sure not to overleap himself...

Under the ground he could neither feel the rain nor hear Chaonao's muffled voice. His sensitive nose picked up roots and brambles in his path and allowed him to swerve past them with ease. It would have been easy going... if not for the Deathworm.

* * *

Han made it to about a quarter through the slabs of ice, when it started raining thick and heavy. Leap-frogging was much harder after that, for now the surfaces were slippery (and they had been slippery to begin with). One positive of the rain was that it drowned out Chaonao's loud voice. He could still _hear_ him of course, but had no idea what the parrot was saying. The slabs of ice were growing smaller now. It would only be a matter of time before he slipped...

No sooner had he thought this then he misjudged a particularly difficult jump and landed in the water with a resounding splash.

He let himself sink low for a few moments, surprised that nothing had come to devour him yet, when his foot lightly brushed against something cold.

Han shot out of the water like a cork from a bottle, his speed increased ten-fold in a blind panic. There were no more calculations, no more jumping, just frantic scrambling forwards from iceberg to iceberg. The rain beat down on him, but for once he could ignore it and push on. It was only when his nose became painfully intimate with the door of a hut that he realized he'd gotten past the death pool.

 _"You know I was just kidding about the deep sea creatures, right?"_

It was lucky he could not hear the parrot.

 _"Now all you have to worry about is the giant elemental gollum guarding the Gate of Life! SQUAWK!"_

Han Guan was unnecessarily surprised by the fist of stone that promptly slammed into his nose.

* * *

"What has a _giant worm_ got to do with _wood?"_

Still in mole form, Saras shot out of the ground, Badr's giant pet worm in hot pursuit. There was a flash of green just as the worm snapped it's beak shut over where he'd been a moment before.

He wasn't too sure why, but he was uncomfortably familiar with something trying to shut it's jaws over him.

Panting lightly as he hid behind a bonanza of banana leaves Saras watched the worm was slither back under the earth. For the time being he was safe. Though it was probably in his best interests to stay off the ground.

* * *

Babirasu was lost. Fire, fire, fire. It was a really good thing he wasn't pyrophobic. Yet not a really good thing that he had no way of knowing whether or not he was going in the right direction. All these flames looked the same.

He wasn't in the slightest bit annoyed by the rain or the heat, and the traps that launched fireballs at him... were kind of redundant considering he was immune to them.

"How much did all this cost?" He wondered aloud as the flames shifted from bright orange to green and then to blue.

Chaonao replied to him. But over the roaring of the flames and the constant pattering of the rain no words were discernible.

* * *

 _Footnote: I changed the finale up a bit since last time. If I remember correctly it was a race to the finish (like this) but that they had to go through all the elements indiviually. Not in the interest of cutting word count but in the interest of story flow I decided to give each of them one element instead and have them go through that._

 _This was kind of a filler chapter (well not really, it's just that nothing of_ significant _interest took place). Aside from Ba's bit._

 _You may also have noticed that Chaonao has barely any lines... just didn't seem like the right place for jokes... Well... more jokes than they already are._

 _Enjoy._


	55. The Gate of Life

_"Where is she!?"_

Chifu sat up suddenly. He'd just been having a wonderful dream. The Emperor himself had been about to promote him! _The Emperor!_ The dog heard footsteps coming his way, and before he could put any of his training to good use, the door burst open and flew off it's hinges. The figure was fearsome yet strangely familiar. The canine recognized him from the tournament. He had never seen the spider up close, and now, his face filled with churning emotions, he looked like something right out of hell.

 _"Where is she!?"_ He bellowed again, slamming the dog against the bed. His arms were around his neck.

"I-I-I wh-oo?" The grip was tightening, Ba was shaking, his face was streaked with tears and his eyes were red.

"You know who!"

Just when Chifu thought he was about to pass out the spider released him and pulled himself backwards. The dog swallowed the air greedily.

"The tournament..." He heard Ba say in a hoarse whisper. "She's gone to the tournament." The arachnid scrambled out the door and vanished.

The detective rubbed at his neck. "What... the... hell..."

* * *

Dianbo could have expected almost anything. Fifty wooden dummies. A big boulder. Even a Deathworm. What he had not expected was a plumped-up chair facing a tall mirror. He frowned at it and approached cautiously, his whip drawn and dragging behind him. The jackal scanned the small room. No signs of anything horrible. And yet, no door. A dead end perhaps? Then why was there a chair. At least it wasn't wet inside.

He padded to the mirror, frowning deeply at his reflection. To his surprise the chair came shooting forwards, slamming into the back of his feet and forcing him to sit. The chair was then dragged back and the mirror was no longer a mirror. It snapped to life before him and Dianbo was powerless to do anything to stop the... Was that his mother? What was _she_ doing here?

"My son."

Where had the noise come from? And what was this? If this was Chaonao's idea of a joke-

And then it was a mirror again. Only he was not staring at himself as he was. How had the tournament gotten his baby portraits!? And since when did he have baby portraits!?

That was when he spotted the large character of 'life' painted above the mirror. And then it was more memories manifesting themselves before him.

"I never sucked my thumb! This is a lie!" The penultimate challenge... Was his life.

* * *

Despite the worry that filled his mind, Badr thought that the tournament was going well. The batch of finalists were not perfect... but they would do. Dianbo was the former student of Master Flying Rhino. Han Guan _did_ come from a prominent clan in Japan. He was a bastard but... usable. The babirusa was the biggest mystery but was competent enough to get this far, which spoke highly of his skill. The fox was his best bet but seemed frightened by the prospect of responsibility. If he chose to win now then Badr would take him under his figurative wing, and make him into something great. There was money to be earned and redemption to find. Orphanages to open, food to be distributed...

But he had a bad feeling he would get the bastard.

Yet that was not why he was worried. Safi had not been in her room that morning, nor had her guards reported seeing her leave. Perhaps she had snuck off to watch the tournament with her... peasant friends... It seemed likely. She'd been trying to leave him since she could crawl. She loved him of course but love was, like everything, not so simple. Hopefully once this tournament was over they could sit down and talk freely. And hopefully she would stop trying to leave him...

* * *

This was painful. In painful ways that he had never experienced. Nothing, not even a giant squid, could have hurt Han Guan more than his life. It made his fur stand on end and his stomach was doing a violent kagura. Every time he gazed upon the familiar forms of his mother and countless cousins his insides would stop suddenly and start again, dancing quicker and in another pattern. He hadn't seen his mother in... how long had it been?

Presently he was hanging from a tree, surrounded by children who pointed and laughed and the laughter cut through him like a thousand knives. It was a particularly bad memory, highlighted perhaps by the fact that he already knew what came next. Sure enough his mother was berating him. Then he was shouting at his mother. Then he was slamming the door shut. Then he was sobbing against it.

The kagura was more violent than ever. It was a good thing he had skipped breakfast then...

* * *

 _"Over on the Gate of Metal it seems like Wong is trying to rejoin the action. I bet he can't get past the doors!"_

The doors were shattered on impact, and Wong -red-eyed and furious- stepped onto the sheet of cold, wet metal.

Badr suddenly felt an icy chill pass through his form. But maybe that was just because his umbrella had burst and he'd been drenched in rainwater. Or maybe it was because Wong was glaring at him.

" _Um... He's not supposed to be going there. Can security deal with him? Or did we blow the budget with all those magic mirrors? I bet they don't even work! SQUAWK!"_

Wong was now beating the metal floor with his tail, creating dent after dent.

 _"He used to just be an overweight idiot, but now he's an overweight idiot with attitude problems and muscle-power! So much off-sight character development! SQUAWK!"_

Now he was tearing apart a bunch of spinning, whirling blades with his... Teeth?

 _"And he must have a really good dentist... Though he is technically vandalising private property! Badr should we do something about that?"_

The cat mulled this over in his head. Yes he had to do something about that... If Wong won... well... Wong was definitely the worst option. He turned to Chaonao. "Just tell the crowd that anyone seeking game or glory and a small reward can have it, as long as they beat up that crocodile."

 _"First one to smack Wong something hard gets fame, fortune and... Er... It'll look funny!"_

* * *

Saras was surprised by the next challenge. The chair was soft and plumped with pillows and the hut was warm. The pattering of the rain outside was nice to hear from within the hut. If only he could make sense of what he was watching. Why was a kit being carried away by a masked figure? And why was the kit wailing and crying? And why did it have his eyes?

It frustrated him that he had to watch the mirror, when for all he knew something horrible was just waiting to run him through beyond it. Yet if he did not calm his nerves and stare at the baby fox he would probably loose out on something important.

He was growing mad of boredom now. He could have sworn he had caught a glimpse of Aang in the corner.

And then he wasn't mad and Aang was standing before him. No, he _was_ in the mirror and- so was he! This... This was _his_ life!

Then what was the first part? "Wait! Waitwaitwaitwait! Go back! Go back!"

But alas the mirror did not obey.

* * *

"Geez Wong, I get we're not your friends or anything, and yeah you're probably pissed you only got to round three, but really trying to kill us isn't a nice thing to do. Neither is wrecking this place. And how come you're so violent to begin with. You're not usually like this. Did you get high or something? Your eyes are really red. And how did you get so strong all of a sudden? I kicked your butt pretty easily the last time we fought."

It was not really beating Wong that was difficult. Li I was faster, Kunjingle and Mulaohu were stronger. The difficulty lay more in the terrain. The Gate of Metal was a long sheet of metal that extended, directly forwards as far as all eyes could see. It was lined with all manner of spinning blades and sharp weapons, which would have been trivial and tokenistic if one didn't have to dodge them whilst fighting a suddenly-much-stronger-than-usual opponent.

Still Li I had hopped (almost literally) at the chance of fame and fortune. Why... Depending on the fortune he'd be famous! And then his dad would _finally_ hear about him! Of course, he had to focus on staying alive first.

Wong made as if to bite his head off, but Li hopped out of range just as the jaws came snapping shut. Before the reptile could retaliate Kunjingle's fist crashed into the side of his head and hurled him towards a row of ever-falling axes.

Another issue with fighting this new, angrier Wong, was that the crocodile was fighting recklessly and none of them wanted to be the cause of his death, dislikeable though he was.

Thus before the axe could behead him, Mulaohu dragged him to the relative safety of her incoming fist.

"And I figure you'd want revenge." Li I added, ducking under a sweep of Wong's tail. "But really this is a bit pathetic for revenge, isn't it? Try a stinkbomb. I know a guy who kinda makes them... Well he doesn't make them, he is one. Which means he _can_ make them. Coz life comes from life and stink comes from stink."

Distracted as he was with spouting wisdom, Li was hurled across the air by a powerful swing of Wong's tail. Kunjingle's paws shot out and snatched him from the air. The bear promptly tensed and watched as the reptile's appendage shattered on impact. Li I winced.

"I know it's not your fault big guy but... That probably hurt a lot..."

What probably hurt a lot more though, were the twin blades that burst through the back of Wong's torso.

Both bear and bunny screamed and even Mulaohu was stunned. Ba looked downright murderous. The frozen crocodile did not help with the image.

"Duyao... Is... Sabotaging... The... Tournament." Panted the spider.

"Forget that! You just murdered Wong!"

Ba's face hardened. "He's already dead. And your friends are in danger. She's... She's going to kill Badr, I think. But... I don't know how."

There was a moment of silence.

"For real?" The rabbit sounded like he didn't want to believe what he was hearing.

"Why would I lie?"

"Er... As a joke? Or because Duyao told you to... There are other options."

Mulaohu shook her head. "I think he's telling the truth."

There was another moment of stunned silence.

"We should evacuate the arena, well technically the arena's the village so we should evacuate the village." Mulaohu snapped into action mode, drawing her immense sword for all to see. "Li, stay here and deal with Wong. Kunjingle, we're going to get the others out. Ba you're with us, and as for the rest of the village..." Scrolls were flung into the air, apparently at random, and in puffs of smoke burst into the Chongqing's armoury.

"Um... What was that for?"

The crowd did not share Li I's confusion, from where they stood watching they could quite clearly see the character for 'evacuate' drawn out. Badr felt his insides turn to lead.

Mulaohu heard the screams of panic. "They got our message. Come on."

The dog and spider began to race and scramble forwards respectively. Kunjingle paused to put Li I back on the ground, having not let go of him since he'd caught the bunny. He grunted and sneezed and whistled and did a kind of sniffle.

Li I patted his nose. "Don't worry, I'll be fine. Besides, I'm never _really_ alone, am I?"

* * *

 _Footnote: A kagura is a traditional Japanese dance. If you were confused by what Han Guan's insides were doing then it was because I was being metaphorical._


	56. A Bun! A Pun! Tread Cautiously

Li I briefly closed his eyes, focusing. Orange chi swirled around him briefly, and when he opened his eyes they shone orange. He blinked them back to their normal, reflective state and high-fived his newly-formed clone.

"Okay other me, let's kick his butt!"

"Alright! Wong, I'm going to make you feel so much pain right now!"

Wong promptly swung Mulaohu's anchor right into Li II. Both the bunny and the weapon crashed into a wall a few feet away. The rabbit's barely twitching ears were the only thing visible behind the great slab of black metal.

Li I winced on impact, clutching his chest. "Damn... That...hurt me too." Now he had to change tactics.

Wong's jaws snapped shut over empty air as Li I beat a hasty retreat to the relative safety of an area of the Gate of Metal. He did notice the small billboard that read 'Treadmill of Death', but he didn't really care.

 _"While you are being evacuated to a safe location let us turn our attention to Li and Wong, fighting on the Gate Of Metal. Seems like Li's gone for the Treadmill of Death. Involuntary move or is he planning something?"_

Li I was too busy hopping over Wong's tail to notice the (surprisingly wooden) mallet that came at him from above.

 _"Nope! Must have been an accident! SQUAWK!"_

Of course Wong didn't notice either. While the mallet proceeded to wreck havoc on the reptile's back, Li I got the chance to analyze his surroundings further. He did this by turning to look at the plethora of sharp, spinning blades, giant rolling pins made out of metal and humongous hammers and axes that chomped down on the treadmill further on.

In short, nothing he couldn't handle! Or at least, until another mallet flattened him.

 _"Looks like the obstacle course is doing more damage than the combatants so far! Nope Wong's got a hit in! And my, I'm glad I'm not that rabbit!"_

The disorientating blow of the mallet prevented Li from avoiding the croc's next tail-swipe, which had knocked him right through a couple of metal shields. He landed on his front, dazed beyond measure. Adrenaline, and an uncomfortable tugging on the hem of his robe made him turn dizzily around. The sight that greeted him was enough to shock him to his feet. A giant rolling pin, easily larger than he was, was rolling over his multi-coloured robe, and creeping ever closer towards him.

"Nononononono!" Li's paws became a blur as he proceeded to run full speed towards Wong. The crocodile lumbered forwards, ignoring all the blows he was recieving as a result of his large frame. And because he... Didn't really try to avoid any of them. Still the blows hampered him sufficiently to buy Li I time.

 _"Sorry! We didn't have enough time to build an emergency off-switch! But we do have a self destruct button if you're interested!"_

Li wasn't really interested in a self destruct button. "Other me, where are you?" The pull on his robe was stronger than ever and a hasty glance backwards told him that soon he'd be rolled flat as a Cong You Bing. Mung would appreciate the irony...

Li II promptly stabbed a spear into the rolling pin. The death-trap stopped suddenly. "Sorry about that, had to get out of the crater you know."

Li I rolled his eyes. "Yeah I know. Now pull me out before I get turned to flatbread."

"A bun?"

"A pun!"

The two high-fived. Li II grabbed him by the paw and pulled hard. "Mung would have appreciated the irony."

"Tell me about it. I spend my whole life escaping _his_ rolling pin only to get crushed by one."

After a few minutes of pulling both rabbits were freed. By this time, however, Wong had caught up to them both. Both rabbits kicked hard at the spear, so that it was consumed by the machine. A hundred splinters flew at Wong's face, blinding him. The two promptly floored him hard.

"Wait... Won't we be crushing him?"

"Is... That... Weren't we going for this?"

The crocodile's tail was promptly crushed under the pin. The sound of bones cracking and breaking under it made the rabbits scream. Until the crocodile tore the whole thing off the treadmill and tossed it casually to the side. Rising to his feet he gave a primeval roar that threw spittle all over the pair.

"Ew!" Wong went for a stomp, but missed.

"Yuck!" Li I ducked a volley of knives, throwing a dart at his opponent as he did so.

"ROOAAAAR!" The dart did nothing to Wong, who was then smacked upside the head with a giant wok.

"You should try spitting again, it's the only time you managed to hit us!" Li I curled up his toes, preventing them from getting cleaved clean off by the Treadmill of Death's token cleaver. The same could not be said for the tips of his sandals. "Also crocodiles hiss when angry, roaring is a big cat thing."

"Get some sanity-ation!" Li II kicked an oversized, metal toothbrush at the reptile. It flew directly into the croc's open mouth.

"That pun wasn't that good. And why are you doing puns? I don't do puns! And you're me!"

"Aren't I allowed to be different?"

Li I opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted by the need to back-step away from a gigantic axe-blade.

The bunny next rolled forwards to avoid a hammer. He was then kicked against it's side by Wong's large foot. "Ow." He groaned.

The further on they went the narrower the gaps between traps became. This didn't affect Wong, who tanked every blow, but severely hampered the Lis who were too busy escaping the machinery to launch into an offensive.

"Hey wait a minute? Why are we still on the treadmill?"

"Coz we're fighting Wong?"

"We don't have to do that here though, do we?"

'You're right! Let's get off this-" Both were promptly thrown off the platform by a strong tail swipe, courtesy of Wong. They tumbled onto a sheet of metal, before coming to a halt at the foot of a weapon's rack. The whole thing promptly collapsed on top of them. Both rabbits extricated themselves from the tangle of deadly blades. Wong had come to a halt in front of them, but no longer made a move to attack. The smaller figure standing besides him was probably why.

* * *

Badr's paws clutched hard at the railings. _Duyao..._

 _"Okay Badr, the arena's evacuated! Now_ we _need to go! SQUAWK!"_

The black cat turned to the parrot. He had never liked Chaonao... the parrot was loud and annoying. Like his brothers had been. It was a horrible reminder of what could have been. If only he hadn't been so...

"No. This whole thing... I will not... Get the Imperial Army! I will deal with Duyao." _This is all my fault anyways..._

 _"Your call I guess. And your funeral! SQUAWK! Sorry, force of habit!"_

* * *

"Duyao?" The distracted rabbit was unable to avoid Wong's mighty punch and was sent flying away.

"That is my name." Replied the frog.

Li I clutched the sides of his head, which spun from the force of the blow. Dizzily, he rose to his feet.

Duyao stood before him, her face unreadable. "Bring her in." She spoke to Wong, who shuffled away to obey, before turning her full attention to the rabbit. "You were foolish to get involved."

"Involved... in what exactly? I get you're pissed we saved Safi's life and all, between you and me she's kind of a bitch, but I'd do that for anyone who doesn't deserve to die. And yeah, you may be angry you ended up locked up, but you could have just asked for a trial. Get a good lawyer and you can get out of anything."

The frog smiled and Li I felt a chill run down his spine. "Saved Safi? From a swift and painless death? Some hero you are." She entered a stance. "This was only meant to be between me and Badr." For a moment she sounded apologetic, then her smile returned. "But you know what? I want to kill _all_ of you now."

"That's flattering." He sounded more confident than he felt. The rabbit took a deep breath. It was just another villain to fight... just another school bully, assassin and competitor. He'd beaten them before, hadn't he?

He threw open his fan behind him and darted forwards. Speed was his forte, well, speed, accuracy and misdirection. He swung the open fan at her head, which the frog avoided by taking a step backwards. She missed the dart he'd thrown at her with his other paw, and it caught her on the cheek. She looked surprised for half a second, but went back to smiling as Li continued to press the attack. He went in for a leg sweep, which he followed up with another slash of his open fan, but Duyao avoided both. What she did not avoid was the pair of darts Li II hurled at her back. The rabbit and his duplicate gave her no respite, one swung low, the other went for her head. The frog slipped on the cold, wet metal and hit the ground hard. Both bunnies closed their fans and raised them into the air.

Before the pair could bring their weapons down, Duyao's fist hit the ground and knocked them off balance. The frog threw herself to her feet, while the pair rolled onto their own.

"You should be proud you managed to do so much damage." She tugged the darts out of her, and tossed them away. "Try poison next time." She smiled.

"Not really our thing."

"Yeah... we don't really fight to kill."

"Anyways their shouldn't be a next time."

"Against you?"

"Definitely not." The pair darted forwards, fans open behind them.

Before they could get within striking distance, however, Duyao jumped forwards. Li II was moving too fast to stop now, and the frog's fist catapulted him backwards. Li I, stunned by the pain he'd felt, momentarily collapsed on the floor. His duplicate was out of the fight... For now. Rising shakily the rabbit got to his feet.

That was all Duyao allowed him to do before going back into the attack. She swung hard at his chest, and although he managed to avoid it with a hasty step backwards, he could still feel the ripples of energy that traveled in the wake of her fist.

A familiar shiver crept up his spine as he ducked a roundhouse kick. He was beginning to doubt he could beat the frog. But like all his other doubts, he squashed them flat with the power of hope. Hope that his friends would hurry up and assist him in defeating his current opponent! Preferably before he received any crippling injuries.

Duyao did a complicated twist mid-air, and threw her fist out towards him. Li I drew back as far as he could. Her fist missed, but not her fingers. Her webbed hand caught hold of his collar. Duyao paused.

"Tell me rabbit, do you want to die?"

Panic was threatening to take over as Li tried and failed to pull his robe free of her grip. His paws were trying to pry her hand off, but were making no progress.

"Guess not. Sorry, life's unfair." She slammed him hard against the metal floor. The wind was hurled out of him and for a horrible moment he was unable to breathe. Air was filling his lungs once more. He wasn't going to die after all. Then something infinetly worse happened. Duyao lifted him slightly, before slamming him back into the ground. Rinse and repeat. Just when it seemed like his body had recovered from the first blow the next followed. He was suffocating... But not choking. He doubted the difference mattered. He could barely see, the whole world was a blur of black spots and Duyao's laughing face. But he could not hear laughter. He wanted to move his paws, but they were stuck to Duyao's. Still trying hopelessly to push her off.

Now he did panic. He didn't want to die! There was so much more he wanted to see and do! He wanted to find his father, but that was no longer what he wanted most. He wanted to go home now, back to Peng You and Mung and Flower and Fidget and Miss Yang and the Orphanage. He wanted to hear their laughter again. Their teasing and insults and jokes and banter. He wanted to see the eye-roll they all did when he spoke of his father. He wanted to play Battai with Han and Shifty and Kunjingle. He wanted to make fun of Jiao'ao and live dangerously by tickling Lang. There was so much more he wanted to-

He didn't want to die...

Duyao brought him down a final time. Evidently she thought he'd had enough. The frog turned away and to his immense relief, he could breathe again. Air had never felt so good! Slowly his vision cleared and he began to rise again. He was quivering and weak-legged. But he was on his feet. His fan was open on the floor besides him, but he dare not stoop to pick it up. If he fell once more, he would not get up again.

Instead he assumed a basic stance. He wobbled uncomfortably still, but his tongue was just as effective as ever.

"Yeah I _don't_ want to die!" He nearly fell over from the effort of shouting. Still it was worth it for the look on Duyao's face. The frog turned towards him. "Does that make me a coward? Maybe. But you know what I'm not scared of? _You!_ You, Duyao, are the one thing right now, that I can say, doesn't scare me! Which is exactly why I can stand here and say-"

Duyao picked up a crossbow. Her face conveyed no emotion. It was so obvious that she did not care, that it hurt.

"That _you suck!_ There I said it! Go on, kill me! But just so you know, you will never win!" Behind the frog Li II was creeping forwards silently. He just needed a bit more time. Kunjingle and Han and Mulaohu and Shifty would come soon... His friends

"Never, ever, in a thousand years will you-" Duyao turned around lazily, and pulled the trigger. The bolt flew through the air and caught Li II in the stomach. Li I winced and fell to his knees. "You can't-"

Another bolt caught the stunned rabbit on the chest. Li I collapsed forwards. His paws found the ground and just managed to hold his head up. He could see Li II standing stock-still, the colour slowly fading out of his fur and into the air in little wisps of orange chi that floated out from around the bolts.

"You won't- you can't-"

"Win?" The frog turned to give him her smile. There was no joy. No happiness. It was not even a smile, just a sinister contortion of her face. "Dear Li, I already have."

The third bolt hit Li II square in the head. The original Li collapsed onto the cold metal. It was wet and freezing and hard against his fur. He did not want to die...

Duyao strolled over to Li II, casually reloading her crossbow. Her finger met the trigger, and another bolt flew into the bunny's chest. Reload, release. Reload, release. Reload, release. Until the rabbit stopped twitching. "Two down."

* * *

 _Footnote: A Cong You Bing is a flatbread of Chinese origin. Of course Li doesn't end up as flat as one..._

 _This was... hard to write. Even though most people know Li's fate by this point, it was still hard to do this to him. Maybe it's not wise to pick favourites while writing but Li is just fun to write about. His dialogue comes almost naturally to me and he is a funny person in general. But alas, we must Kill the Cuties... Or Break them... Or kill their duplicate? And put them in a coma (or comma)?_

 _That said this was also a joy to write, not in a sadistic way, but because I hadn't written a Duyao fight in a while.  
_

 _A question for those of you who read the previous version. Even though you knew this would happen, did it provoke a reaction? Probably not the best way to word it but meh.  
_


	57. The Gate of Victory

Eventually the story of his life ended and the mirror crumpled into dust. "Finally!" The jackal shot to his feet. A door had now been revealed. Above it in golden writing stood the character for 'Victory'. Dianbo took a deep breath and swallowed. "Here... goes nothing." He freed his whip and slunk into the darkness ahead.

The passage was cramped and air-less. There was a strange kind of coldness here that the canine could not place. Needless to say he was eager to leave.

After a few minutes he found himself in a well-lit room. A hundred torches lined the walls, the floor was piled with shining coins of gold. Jewels of every colour in the rainbow glittered and glimmered from behind goblets and chalices. Enough treasure to retire with. Yet Dianbo was too well-trained to let his guard down. He was not the victor yet. There was a small podium in the center, surrounded by pillars of wood lined with amber and amethyst. And shining in the center of that podium was a trophy. It was plain and dull to look at... and somehow Dianbo knew it was the final hurdle. When he reached the cup... victory was his. Victory...

He walked forwards determinedly, making barely a noise on the sea of gold. He spared a thought for his rivals. He did not know Babirasu very well, and considering the babirusa had burned him pretty badly in the Third Task, would not regret robbing him of this. Shifty had thrown his match, victory did not seem much to him. It was Han Guan that made him hesitate. The wolverine would congratulate him of course, but if anyone wanted to win it was him. Honor... love... affection. Dianbo knew what Han craved. Yet at the same time, could not force himself into backing down now. He'd gotten this far. He had gotten here first fair and square. The jackal hopped onto the podium.

"Sorry Han." He walked forwards and lifted the cup above his head.

There was no announcement of victory. No fireworks. No cheering crowds. He was greeted with a clap of thunder and a gust of wind that made the flames around him shiver and sputter. The jackal frowned. "Not what I was expecting." He shrugged. The weather was probably tampering with the tournament. For a second he was not sure what he was supposed to do. Then suddenly he heard a noise.

The sound of scraping metal threw his guard up, and saved his life. As the jackal whirled round to face the noise he saw a blade coming towards him and leaned back as far as he could. The sword passed uncomfortably close to his throat, but he had avoided a fatal blow. He wasted no time in going into the offensive. His whip shot up and wrapped around his opponent's throat. He pulled the figure down sharply and landed a pair of lightning-fast kicks before they could react. Gripping his weapon of choice as hard as he could with both paws the jackal twisted, throwing his opponent off the podium. His whip's uncurling made his assailant spin mid air, before they crashed into the sea of coins. Now that he had a moment's respite he could see quite clearly what he was dealing with.

It only confused him further. His assailant was a lion. A wooden lion, built thinly but with a certain sharpness to it. It's multi-coloured mane seemed to possess every colour in existence, and painted onto it's lifeless face was a strange, creepy grin. Instead of paws it had a pair of blades, instead of feet it had tridents. It's arms were burly and seemed packed with all kinds of weaponry. Dianbo was not sure whether he was supposed to find it funny... or terrifying.

The jackal tossed the clay trophy to the side and took a running start. He jumped forwards to deliver a fly-kick into it's chest. The lion slid backwards, but Dianbo did not give it a milisecond of recuperation. A roundhouse kick to the head sent it ploughing through the coins. Stabbing it's sword-arms through the ground to help it rise, the Thing tried to get up, it was greeted not with success, but a flurry of fast kicks. The feline collapsed, but Dianbo's kicks kept coming. They were a blur of sandy fur and sandals, punctuated by the sound of cracking wood. A spike flew out the lion's chest, and the jackal was forced to pull away. He was promptly knocked off his feet.

Dianbo landed on something very hard, but adrenaline spared him the brunt of the pain. It was a good thing too, for he was forced to roll out of the way of another offensive. His whip shot up and curled round the sword coming for his throat. Dianbo redirected the blade into the ground, forcing the whole puppet to go along with it. His foot promptly slammed into it's unprotected back. The wooden lion hit the ground hard and moved no more.

Breathing heavily, the jackal backed away. As the adrenaline high of being attacked by a creepy clown doll subsided he was left with only his own tiredness and what felt like an uncomfortable bruise along his back. Still he had defeated... whatever it was.

The sound of jingling coins made Master Flying Rhino's former student spin on his heels. The wooden lion was rising to it's feet once more. Dianbo threw himself back into his stance, his heartbeat shooting back up to the frantic pace of combat. His opponent's swords slid down slightly, revealing a small chain connecting them to the thick wooden arms of the puppet. The jackal flourished his whip, a bead of sweat trailing down his forehead.

The wooden lion charged forwards, the sword came at him faster this time, but Dianbo was quick on his feet and hopped out of it's way. His whip darted forwards and curled round his opponent's leg. Before he could pull the puppet off it's feet, however the second sword slammed into the side of his metal whip and wrenched it free of Dianbo's grip. The jackal's eyes widened temporarily, but he was forced to beat a hasty retreat or else be decapitated.

The lion came after him, it's blades whirling so fast they were a blur of sharp metal. Then suddenly the arms stopped spinning and both swords hurtled through the air towards the jackal. Dianbo deflected one with a roundouse kick to it's flat side, and in doing so dodged the second. Now the lion had a pair of chains hanging out the sides of it's arms. It launched one at him and the chain curled round his right paw. The Thing dragged the jackal down and into a roundhouse kick that caught him in the chest. The canine thought he was lucky the side of the leg had hit him, rather than the trident at it's end. Or at least he thought he was lucky until the puppet hurled him at a pillar. It was hard to think he was lucky once his back became intimate with the amber and amethyst.

The jackal pushed himself to his feet and kicked a chalice at his opponent, who promptly smacked it away. The Thing's chest opened up and launched a large spike at his opponent. Dianbo sidestepped it, but the pillar did not. The jackal jumped onto the podium to avoid the wooden lion's next attack. A flurry of kicks snapped the lion's head backwards. The jackal did a spin and slammed his heel into it's painted grin. He threw himself into the air and proceeded to lay kick after kick against the hard wood of the lion's face. Before the puppet could react Dianbo was on the ground doing a leg sweep that knocked it off it's feet. The wooden lion pointed an arm at the canine's face. A small hole opened and he was given only a fraction of a second to react to the dart that flew at his face. Instinctively his paw came up to block it.

For a second he stared at the barbed needle poking out from between his fur. A strange black liquid was dripping from it and a strange darkness began spreading around the wound. His other paw closed round his wrist compulsively, it was all he managed to do before a chain knocked him off his feet. He landed hard on his front and before he could react something shot through the top of his muzzle and into his jaw. The pain was unbearable. Warm blood filled his mouth and he hastened to spit it out, but somehow that only increased the pain.

* * *

Han Guan breathed a sigh of relief as the mirror disintegrated, revealing a doorway of darkness. He rose to his shaking feet. He was not shaking out of fear per se, but rather felt it was out of pride. Needless to say it was a never-before-felt sensation. He was so close... to winning, to coming home... to seeing his mother smile. If she even could smile...

But he would handle that later! First he actually had to win! Extending his claws to their new, meager length the wolverine proceeded to rush through the doorway. It was cramped and cold and dark, and if he'd been several years younger, would have terrified him. But he did not care. Newfound honor was so tantalizingly close he could smell it. It was like chasing a flower on the wind. It would forever remain out of reach, but not out of sight. He sped up considerably after that. He could hear it! The cheering crowds! The fireworks exploding! His mother- screaming?

As he burst into the light a horrible sight greeted him. One that was eerily familiar, yet at the same time unbelievable. Dianbo lay, writhing in pain, his whole face splattered in the blood that oozed around a ghastly-looking wound on his muzzle. One paw clutched hard at his wrist, his other seemed to be growing lifeless by the second. Above him stood a cruel, grinning, lifeless figure painted in a hundred colours. A lion... a living puppet... a... someone hurting his friend!

Han Guan was upon him with a snarl of rage. The Thing turned to face him, a trident raised above the jackal's head. It was promptly thrown off the podium by a powerful blow to it's head. The wolverine turned promptly to the jackal, a look of concern on his face. "Are you okay?"

The jackal gave no reply, but managed a very weak scowl. Somehow that was more concerning than all the blood around him.

It was all Han could do to not loose control. "Don't worry, I'm here to help now. I can help you! I will help you! I'm not sure how to help you but I will help you. There's blood, so much blood, it's bloody, if only we had bandages! J-just think about Master Flying Rhino! Oh wait he's dea- don't think about him! Forget him! Think about-"

The wooden lion charged at Han before he could tell the jackal what to think about. The wolverine crashed into the sea of coins around the podium, but his opponent gave him no respite. The Thing leapt after him. Panicking the wolverine tried to scramble to his feet. Something cold made contact with his paw and he gripped it hard behind his back. He grinned as a sudden memory hit him.

"Stop!" He yelled, his paw held out in front of him. For some reason the wooden lion had stopped in it's tracks, allowing the mustelid to get to his feet.

"I surrender!" Announced the wolverine.

The Thing cocked it's head to the side. It was just the opening Han was looking for. He brought the clay trophy he'd unwittingly picked up into the lion's head. He had expected a knock out blow, instead his makeshift weapon shattered on impact and did virtually no damage.

" _Now_ I surrender!" Then again it hadn't really worked out the first time...

A pair of chains flew at him, which the wolverine promptly deflected with his small claws. He was unable to deflect the kick that knocked him off his feet. Han was winded on impact, but raised his elbows in time to block a falling trident. He threw himself back to his feet and slashed at his opponent's face. A piece of coloured wood flew off the lion's mane and landed on the coins far away. He was rewarded with a chain to the face. The wolverine stumbled slightly to the side, and was promptly knocked off his feet by a mighty, sweeping blow. A short blade shot out of one wooden arm and jabbed down at his opponent. Han's claws closed around the blade, but despite his best efforts it kept creeping ever closer towards his throat.

The wolverine squealed as the cold metal lightly pricked his throat- he'd been so close to winning! How had everything gone so wrong so quickly?

* * *

Saras was almost entirely sure the events of his life had been exaggerated somewhat. He distinctly remembered _not_ getting his tail handed to him every time he fought someone. Still it was the first time he had enjoyed any part of the tournament, and although he seemed to get beaten up at every turn it was still nice to be reminded of all he had accomplished... or rather everything he'd survived so far. On second thought he wasn't enjoying himself.

The mirror crumpled in front of him and with a cry of 'Finally!' he got to his feet and slunk into the dark passage before him, his head still reeling from all that he had seen. He had forgotten about Danzaburo and the Weeper. The Wu sisters he hadn't forgotten but he'd managed to laugh at the looks on their faces this time around. Yang Chao was creepy as ever, but at least he didn't have to deal with the hare now. Of course watching his skull get split open... was difficult. And he still wasn't sure what the first parts had been. The scenes had slipped past too quickly for him to take note of them, but then again he hadn't really been paying attention. Which reminded him... Babirasu had better tell him whatever it was he knew about the Jit Kun.

The fox heard a strange kind of squeal as he came into the final Gate. His eyes darted firstly towards the bleeding form of Dianbo that lay on a podium, to the squealing and struggling Han Guan that lay on the ground, a strange wooden lion trying to gut him. The shapeshifter acted instantly, picking up a golden-hilted dagger he flung it at the figure, before morphing into an armadillo.

A dagger promptly buried itself through the grin of the Thing. There was a flash of green and then a ball of pink and purple leather that was a curled-up armadillo slammed into the wooden lion's chest. The puppet stumbled backwards, away from the wolverine's throat. Han Guan breathed a minute sigh of relief, before desperately catching the trident-foot an inch from his stomach. Another flash of green and a crane landed a powerful fly-kick to the back that sent the puppet crashing further away.

Saras landed in fox form, a look of mild panic on his face. "What was that? And what's going on? And why's _he_ bleeding out?" He pointed a shaking paw at the barely-scowling Dianbo, who now lay in an ominous puddle of his own blood.

Han Guan placed both paws on the fox's shoulders. "I have no idea what that was. I have no idea what's going on. And Dianbo-sama got stabbed on the muzzle."

The fox clutched the side of his head hard. "Why does this _always_ happen?" He whined.

The wolverine cocked his head to the side. "This always happens?"

Before the fox could reply, a massive spike crashed into a pillar between them. The Thing was on it's feet, it's grin broken up by the blade now running through it's middle. "Get Dianbo out of here, I'll handle this thing."

"Er- you sure you can manage Shifty-san?"

The fox pulled another dagger out of the sea of jewelry and gave it an experimental twirl. "Pretty sure I've handled worse." The Weeper, Mr Rhee, Chi, the Wu Sisters, the Brotherhood of Bloodspilt Hands, Yang Chao... he had come out from worst.

As the wooden lion came charging forwards Saras flung the dagger at it. It spun blade over hilt - and missed by a mile. Even the puppet paused to cock it's head to the side.

"A hundred percent sure?"

"Han! Dianbo!"

"Oh yeah, right!" The wolverine raced over to the jackal. It was just in time for the Thing was upon them. Saras vanished in a puff of green as the Thing's blade stabbed into the sea of coins. The fox came at it from behind and was unpleasantly surprised by a small lance that shot out to greet him. He teleported again and watched as the lance crashed into the roof, quivering on the spot. The shapeshifter went for his hedgehog form. He rolled forwards to avoid the crashing chain, and promptly felt his quills sink into the wooden arms of his opponent.

 _The life of a hedgehog must suck..._ Was what he thought before his exposed underside was repeatedly pounded against the puppet's waiting knee. Finally the quills managed to loosen up and the hedgehog hit the floor. He morphed back into a fox, and rolled to the side to avoid the trident-footed stomp of his adversary.

The wolverine arrived at the bleeding jackal. His paws were shaking and he was not entirely sure what to do. "Um Shifty, he's bleeding a lot!"

"Then do something!" The fox rolled to his feet, swerving out of the way of the chain.

"Like what?"

"I don't know! I think you're supposed-" The fox was forced to duck the bladed paw before he could finish his sentence. There was a flash of green as the Thing's chain crashed into the coins he'd been standing on a moment before. The fox re-appeared behind the puppet and brought the dagger into one of it's joints. "To add pressure!"

"That sounds right!" Han tore off a chunk of his kimono and wrapped it tightly around the gaping wound. The jackal gave a weak moan, but nothing else. It was his paw that the wolverine turned to next. "Shifty! There's a needle sticking out of his paw and it looks like it's poisoned! What do I do?"

"Stop it spreading! And remove the needle!" The shapeshifter was a mouse now, nimbly pulling his tail out of the way of slashing trident-feet. "But most importantly stop it spreading!"

The mustelid winced. "This is going to hurt. Forgive me Dianbo-sama." He tugged the barbed dart out of the jackal's paw, and instinctively clamped his paw around the jackal's wrist. The fact that Dianbo made barely a noise was worrying him. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry... Are you okay?"

The jackal gave no response and the wolverine's heartbeat shot up like a firework. "SHIFTY! I THINK HE"S DEAD!"

"WHAT!?" The mouse was promptly flung across the room and towards the podium by a well-timed kick. He teleported before impact and landed besides the wolverine. Both faces were filled with shock and worry, until Saras noticed the gentle motion of the jackal's chest. Then it became a picture of annoyance. "He's not dead you idiot! He's just knocked out." The shapeshifter transformed into a crane to momentarily kick the Thing away, before assuming his normal form.

Han Guan was red in the face and his chest was not moving. His eyes were wide and his ears swiveling frantically. He seemed on the verge of a panic attack. "Han, you need to breathe, okay? It may sound strange but I do this a lot."

The wolverine gave him an odd look. He was ever closer towards hyperventilation now.

"The most important thing in a life or death situation is to keep breathing. Breathe Han, okay?" His words did not seem to be having much effect on his companion. "That means stop holding your breath!"

The wolverine did as he was bid and began gulping air into his depleted lungs. The fox placed a paw on his shoulder. "We're going to get through this, okay? Just make sure he keeps breathing as well."

The wolverine swallowed and managed a weak nod. That was enough for Saras who turned back round to face his opponent.

Unfortunately the block of wood came at him faster than he could react. The blow knocked him off his feet and sent him skidding through the coins. His nose was sore and throbbing, and he realized too late that his mouth was filled with blood. Hastily he started spitting, he was rewarded with a smack across the face.

"Shifty! Are you okay?"

"Stop it spreading!" The fox snapped. A chain slammed into his muzzle once more.

It was too late to spit out the blood. He was going feral. _Oh well..._

* * *

Duyao pulled the trigger once more, watching in satisfaction as every bolt added to the white rabbit's form made it's twin momentarily twitch in pain, before once more becoming still. By now Li II looked more like a pin cushion than a rabbit. Not even his ears had been spared, and so now they held him to the ground, like pins through paper.

The frog grimaced upon finding she had run out of bolts. Throwing the crossbow to the side she waited for Badr to come. She knew he would of course, and now he would come alone. A pity, there would be none left alive to hear him scream...

Right on cue the black cat burst through the gate, running at full tilt towards the frog, a look of anguish mixed in with his rage. He was brought to a halt at the sight of the Lis. One barely breathing, the other covered in what looked like a thousand darts. His jaw slackened and fell open. "D-Duyao h-he- they- they were kids!"

"Kids have died before. Some at your paws." Came the amphibian's cold reply.

Badr looked aghast. "I was only- I... You know that was Wo! Y-you- n-not my fault! Since we fought I have done nothing but good for this town! I-"

"You served yourself. But we are not here to discuss, Badr Tamod." She assumed her stance. "The time for discussion is over."

The cat winced, but assumed his own stance anyways. If he was not surrounded by the dead and dying he might have found some irony in the present situation. Duyao, and not him, was the villain this time around.

* * *

Tianqi felt a strange sense of foreboding as he approached the familiar-looking Valley. Perhaps it was the weather. The thunderstorm had severely hampered his travels- yet he was determined to reach the tournament in time for the finals! Or at least to know who won. He'd left at the end of the Third Task to deal with a horrible case of feral mistreatment. He'd had to beat up a few corrupt keepers and re-instate new ones. He'd then left a pair of students to ensure that the new standards were maintained. All in a day's work yes, but the travelling took time. China was not small after all.

From what he'd seen so far he was rooting for either the peacock or the wolverine. Han Guan reminded him of Han, the wolverine he had competed against fifty years prior. The similarities extended beyond the name of course, but Tianqi was not the type of horse that went nosing into other people's business. The peacock he knew you be Prince of Henan now. A large province in central China. Yet there were no asylums there of note... Then again Japan was not the best place to go if you wanted animals to be treated like animals.

"He who searches only for perfection, remains forever lost." There had been progress in the past few years and that was enough for him. So long as progress kept on coming.

He was jolted back to reality when he saw a crowd of people rushing away from the Valley, Chaonao's at the head, screaming at everyone not to panic.

The horse sped up considerably; Mulaohu was not among those fleeing.

* * *

The fox dived nimbly away from the Thing's blade as it crashed through a golden goblet. It darted forwards and slashed at the wooden arm, before slipping out of range of another attack.

Han Guan was not sure why Saras had decided to ditch the teleporting and shapeshifting- which had been proving effective against the Thing- in favour of wild-looking slashing and biting. The fox was on all fours now, snarling constantly from behind blood-stained teeth. His hackles were raised and his claws were digging into the coins around him with vicious ferocity. Threatening though the vulpine was, this new stance was not particularly effective. Every time the Thing so much as moved the fox would snap it's jaws forwards and clamp them down on thin air, before retreating further away from the wooden lion's mighty blows.

Still the shapeshifter seemed to be doing alright. Or at least he wasn't dead yet. Han's priority was stopping the blackness from spreading beyond Dianbo's dead paw. He hoped that the babirusa came soon. He could not help Saras without forsaking Dianbo now that the jackal was knocked out.

Which was probably why his heart was beating so fast.

The Thing missed another stab, right on cue, the fox shot forwards and tore tooth and claw into the wooden lion's exposed neck, searching for blood, but was met only with tasteless wood. The fox was flung headlong away from the puppet. It's head hit the podium and the vulpine collapsed with a whine.

"Shifty-sama, are you alright?" It hurt so much to be in this kind of position. Dragging Dianbo by his iron-grip on the jackal's wrist, the wolverine crept over to the edge of the podium and peered down at the dazed fox slowly rising to it's feet. "Maybe we should swap?"

The fox shook it's head, which Han took to mean no. It began sniffing, the scent of blood was strong on Han and Dianbo, intoxicating. Suddenly it's fangs were bared and it's hackles were raised. This time though his quarry was the jackal.

"Oh no! Nononono!" The fox pounced but Han managed to snatch it by the scruff of the neck. "Bad Shifty! Bad! Dianbo is not for eating!" Saras did not seem to understand him and merely writhed desperately in the mustelid's grip, trying to snap his jaws onto whatever was holding him back. The Thing came charging forwards, and Han hastily fell back, his feet raised. His claws extended around the lion's wooden arm, and held the blade still, an inch from his throat. There was little he could do now, and unfortunately the raising of his legs had exposed his backside to the full fury of the puppet's chain.

"OW! Did you just- OW!" Having recently reviewed his life so far, the wolverine could easily say that being spanked by a wooden lion while holding back a savage fox from mauling an unconscious jackal in what was the most uncomfortable yoga position of all time... Was probably the weirdest thing he'd ever done.

"Leave! My butt-OW! ALONE!" With tremendous effort he hurled Saras' still-writhing form as far as he could. With one paw now free the wolverine managed to catch the chain the next time it came for his tail. Han kicked the blade away, pulled the lion closer, and planted both feet firmly into it's face. The lion fell backwards through the coins, where it was promptly assaulted by the still-feral Saras.

Han Guan breathed a sigh of relief, and managed to drop his feet back down, where they hung off the edge of the podium. His butt was sore and throbbing, though thankfully not swollen (the Lis would have had a field day) and he highly doubted he'd be doing much sitting down in the coming days. At least Dianbo and Saras weren't going to be in any position to spread the word. With a jolt he remembered Saras was still fighting the wooden lion and sat up.

The fox's feet were kicking madly in mid-air as the puppet's chain held him by the neck. The fox's claws tried to dig into the metal but found no purchase. Han's eyes went wide and for half a second he froze. That was when a giant fireball hit the faux feline, launching it into the far side of the room. The fox collapsed into a panting heap. Babirasu was upon him in a moment checking his pulse with a hoof to the neck.

"I'm... Alive..." Saras snapped weakly.

"Thanks to me." Slinging the vulpine along his shoulder Babirasu carried him over to where Han Guan was sitting. "So, what just happened?" He asked, placing the fox on the podium with mother-like gentleness.

"You tell me Babirasu-sama! I come here and Dianbo-sama's bleeding out fighting whatever that thing was, then it starts fighting me and stabs Dianbo-sama with a poison dart. Then Shifty-sama shows up and tells me to help Dianbo and then he starts fighting the lion, then he gets all angry and starts snarling. Shifty-sama then starts getting strangled and well... You showed up." Han summarised.

The bleeding jackal was Babirasu's first priority. "Alright, you did good adding pressure to the wound but I'm going to have to cauterize it." He raised a hoof, and let flames engulf it. "Remove the banda- is that your _shirt_?"

Before Han could reply that it was a _kimono_ , there came the sound of a hundred clicks. All turned to see the Thing, aflame and with both wooden arms pointed at the podium, a hundred small darts ready to fire.

"I'll handle this." Babirasu stepped in between the Thing and the others. There was another click, alone this time, but louder, and a volley of thin, barbed darts shot towards the quartet. The babirusa was ready however, and instead of piercing through flesh the deadly projectiles were incinerated in a wall of flames. With a simple, thrusting motion, Babirasu sent the wall towards his opponent. To his surprise the attack passed right through the wooden lion, who did not seem at all concerned that it was on fire.

"Normally that works." He said with a frown. Oh well, he had plenty of tricks left. He pointed both hooves at the charging lion and shot a volley of small, burning balls of fire at it. Yet his opponent continued to power through the blows and advance towards him, albeit much slower now.

"This isn't going to work! The wood must be fireproof." Placing his hooves together momentarily, the babirusa proceeded to spread them wide again, creating a much larger wave of flames, which he hurled at his opponent... to no avail. "Any ideas, anyone?"

"Try... dropping a pillar... on him..." Saras murmured, trying and failing to push himself to his feet.

"That's a great idea! Han, get off the podium, I'm going to need it!"

"Okay! Give me a minute!" Tucking Saras under one arm and dragging Dianbo onto his back via the wrist the wolverine made his way very slowly off the podium, inhibited by the added weight of his friends.

The Thing was here now, a very small, thin blade protruding from one of it's arms. It thrust forwards at the babirusa, who ducked, parrying with his horns. He slammed both hooves into the puppet's middle, and shot a volley of fire from point-blank range. The wooden lion was sent skidding backwards, but was still within striking distance. It's left trident-foot came up in a roundhouse kick that sliced Babirasu across the cheek. Grunting, the Mongolian shot a single ball of fire at it's other leg, knocking it off it's feet.

He darted backwards and hopped onto the podium. There were five pillars in total. Two already had something running through it, one was built badly and the other two were already straining under the weight of rainwater.

As the Thing rose a small ball of flame snapped off a piece of it's mane. Babirasu stood on the podium, his hooves aflame and in the process of supercharging the small fire between them, his face the image of concentration. He had to time his jump correctly, or else he'd be crushed too. The wooden lion took the bait and charged forwards.

It hopped onto the podium and slashed forwards at Babirasu, the thin blade shot forwards, revealing itself to be at the end of a chain. The babirusa ducked, and with a wide sweeping motion of his arms, let the fireball fall to the floor of the podium. There was a resounding crack, like that of thunder, and the pillars and podium, and roof gave way from the force behind the attack. Babirasu waited for the first crumbles of wall to fall before he jumped. Suddenly felt something round his horns.

His eyes shot up to see a chain wrapped tightly around them. Instead of going with him, the Thing buried it's feet into the podium, and pulled him back into his own trap. Babirasu hit the floor of the hard on his front. The babirusa rolled out of the way of the wooden lion's attack, but was unable to get up before the collapsing rubble was upon him.

Saras' eyes widened in horror. "Babi!" He made to squirm free of Han's grip, but the wolverine did not let go. The roof was coming down in chunks, and the mustelid made a beeline for the exit. To his horror, an immense chunk of stone crashed into the ground in front of it, blocking his path forwards. The wolverine turned and raced towards another exit. He passed the pile of rubble where once the podium stood, and tripped. He hit the ground hard, his grip on Dianbo's wrist loosened ever so slightly and Saras fell out from under him.

He got up quickly, snatched the fox and jackal by tail and wrist respectively and watched in horror as a pillar fell, bringing with it, a huge chunk of roof.

There was a blur of green and brown as Mulaohu leapt over them. Her paws gripped the pillar hard, and shoved it into place, where mercifully it continued to hold the room together.

Han fell on his back. His heart really couldn't take any more near-misses. "Thank you Mulaohu-chan. You just saved all our lives."

There was a set of clicks and a whistle announcing Kunjingle's arrival. The bear's eyes were wide and staring at Dianbo's unmoving, blood-splattered form. He seemed paler than usual and Saras was surprised to see that he was sweating. He didn't know the bear could get nervous.

"Don't worry Kunjingle... It's okay now- Babi!" He remembered with a horrible jolt. The euphoria of rescue had made him briefly forget his friend and saviour. The fox shot to his feet, ignoring the dizziness that came with the motion. His head spin but he had enough sense of direction to know where the podium had been. The fox went for it and began trying and failing to shift the slabs of stone aside.

Suddenly the rubble shifted and the fox felt hope flood into him... Until the wooden lion burst through. Dented here and there and covered with soot, it's face and stupid grin squashed into the shape of a pancake, the Thing rose once more and made Saras' blood run cold.

It stabbed forwards at the unmoving fox, and was surprised to find it's blade parried by one of Ba's. The spider slashed forwards, his arms a blur as, wordlessly, he pushed the puppet away from the fox.

Saras fell to his knees... There were only so many scares he could take.

* * *

The frog charged forwards, swinging at Badr's head with deadly force. The cat ducked low, and tried a leg sweep, which failed, and was promptly nailed in the face with a strong kick. It was so strong the feline fell on his back and slid back through the metal before coming to a halt at the foot of the treadmill. He got no respite, however, as Duyao hopped into the air and came crashing back down with a chop. Badr rolled out of the way of a direct hit, but the blow's shockwave knocked him further off balance. The black cat sprung to his feet, dodging another powerful blow from Duyao, and retaliating with a slash of his claws that tore open her cheek. He threw in a kick that forced her to slide backwards through the water-logged ground. He threw a left-handed punch, but Duyao caught it. She proceeded to crush his paw in her grip, eliciting a cry of pain from the cat.

Badr swung at her with his other paw, but before his attack could reach her he was hurled across the battleground. Rising to one knee the feline put his paws together and shut his eyes, concentrating hard.

"Oh no you don't!" His focus was broken by the need to leap out of the way of an incoming javelin that buried into the ground he'd just been standing on. The frog followed up by slamming a fist into her waiting palm. There was a humongous puff of green smoke, and a dozen Duyaos tore forwards, fists raised.

Badr scowled as he leapt out of the way of the first frog. He responded with a powerful roundhouse kick which took her in the face and knocked her off her feet. He would have followed up by bringing his fist down on her prone form, but was forced to retreat as the other Duyaos were upon him, wielding an assortment of weapons. He leapt over a humongous anchor that had no business being this far in land, ducked a pair of fists and slashed open the gut of another Duyao. But there were too many of them. One grabbed him by his tail, and pulled him off his feet. Two others stomped down hard on his spine, and a third brought a (surprisingly wooden) mallet down on his head.

Badr was dragged to his feet, an uncomfortable throbbing growing from the top of his head. If only his Deathworm were here... Several Duyaos were holding his arms and one had a vice-like grip on his tail. He could kick them, he supposed, but was distracted by the form of Wong. Or rather what Wong was holding.

"Safi." He gasped. His daughter was bound by thick chains, her fur was disheveled and she had a vicious-looking gash on one cheek. She looked pale and petrified, unable to even scream.

"Yes... Safi... Your beloved... daughter." Wong dropped Safi to the ground, where several Duyaos suddenly leapt upon her and brought her to her feet. Duyao walked over to the crocodile. "You mustn't blame Wong for this Badr. Oh yes, he did my bidding. But he never really had a choice. He was not a nice man to be sure. Evil, yes, but quite harmless. Under my rule he became... a monster. And it just so happens, I kill monsters." Her fist slammed into the crocodile's chest. The reptile looked briefly bewildered, his eyes returned to normal. Then blood poured from out his jaws, and Wong fell lifeless to the floor. The amphibian smiled and turned towards Badr.

"Your daughter is the same really. Spoiled, arrogant, selfish... not a nice kitty are we? Harmless yes... but a push in the right direction and she could be a monster." The frog placed a webbed hand around Safi's throat and squeezed.

It was too much for Badr. The cat fell to his knees, sobbing madly. "Please! Please, not my Safi. Take me! Kill me!" He cried, unable to break the grip. "But let her be. Don't hurt her. Please, not Safi, not my Safi!" All dignity, all pride, all his arrogance vanished on the spot. Tears rolled down his cheeks and pooled at his feet, where they joined the rainwater and went unnoticed.

The frog turned towards her rival, her grip released. She caressed the terrified Safi's cheek, absentmindedly, and wiped away her tears. "I would never hurt your daughter." She smiled as one of her clones handed her a knife. "You on the other hand..." She turned towards Safi. The cat was terrified, unable to move or even scream. Her eyes were wide and wet. "Sleep well." The knife slashed cruelly across the feline's throat. Blood sprayed across the cold metal and Safi's last whimper died in her throat. The Duyao's let her fall to the floor and Badr screamed.

Her eyes were wide and staring at the blood that pooled out from her. She wanted to-needed to breathe. Badr could see her trying to. But no air would get past the blood.

"Safi! My-my SAFI!" The Duyaos dropped him, and joined up with the original frog. She stalked over to the writhing cat.

"You killed her!" He yelled suddenly, and swung wildly. Duyao easily dodged it, and caught his paw. She twisted hard, so that Badr collapsed against the cold metal.

"And you've killed me. Look at me now Badr. You did this to me." She twisted hard, and heard the familiar and satisfying pops of dislocating bones. She twisted again; the cat's screams were like a drug to her, intoxicating, euphoric, addictive! Her fist came crashing down into the side of his screaming face, once, twice, thrice. Then she twisted, and twisted and twisted, and her fist crashed down again.

There was a horrible noise and the pain spiked upwards. Duyao raised the black cat's arm above her head like a trophy, and slammed it down against the cat's back with a mad cackle. "Why're you hitting yourself? Why're you hitting yourself? Why're you hitting yourself? Hahahahahahaha!"

Suddenly she was thrown off the cat by a powerful gust of wind. Duyao crashed into a pile of shields, which clattered and collapsed all over the ground. The amphibian rose to her feet, and laughed at the look of horror on Tianqi's face.

"D-Duyao."

"Hahahahaha! You sound so stupid! Hahahaha!"

The horse was staring at the blood, the arm, the screaming and sobbing form of the cat. "This... this isn't you."

"Oh you dumb horse. This is me! The real me! Hahahahahahaha! I'm free! I'm free! I'm free! Hahahahaha!" She plucked a small, familiar leaf from out of her vest. "What are your nightmares Tianqi? Shall we visit them?" She raised her webbed hand, a tiny ball of swirling green chi rested there. The leaf met the mass of green energy and the world exploded into green.

* * *

Finding no way to effectively move the rubble aside in fox form, the shape shifter turned into a mole and buried himself into the sea of coins. The sounds of battle dimmed slightly, though he could still hear Ba's grunting and the clash of metal-on-metal.

A few moments later, Saras pulled himself free of the coins, dragging Babirasu out with him. There was no pulse, which was worrying, but the babirusa was breathing. Most likely his blood vessels were shaped in different ways or something like that.

Reality returned to him. Mulaohu was stuck holding the pillar and the remainder of the roof up while Ba dueled fiercely with the Thing. Han and Kunjingle were arguing over Dianbo's barely-breathing form.

"You have to bite it!" Han was saying, his voice cracking with panic. "Bite it off before it spreads or he'll die!"

Kunjingle was staring dumbly at the jackal's darkening paw and the blackness that was trying to spread through his arm. Already little rivulets were making their way past the wrist and towards the many unprotected blood vessels.

The bear was being slow and stupid. Han couldn't understand him word for word, but he knew enough about Kunjingle to know that he didn't want to do this.

"You're the only one who can do it. Please! He'll thank you for it I swear!"

The ursine remained hesitant.

"If I was in his position, you'd bite my paw off, right?"

Kunjingle seemed too much in shock to give a response and with a horrible feeling of pity Saras realized that this was all new to the bear. The weak breathing, the copious amounts of blood. The chaotic battling for one's life. It was a stupid thing to do, but for some reason he patted the bear on the head.

"Han's right Kunjingle. We're not going to force you into it, but that paw's getting cut off sooner or later and I'm sure Dianbo would prefer keeping more rather than less of his arm." He felt very dizzy again and slumped against the bear's form. Slowly his feet slid across the ground until he was sitting against the bear. Words seemed hard to form now and his eyelids were drooping as if tied to weights.

"For Dianbo-sama?" Han held out the blackened paw.

Kunjingle did a pop, whistle, click and little tail shuffle, before sliding his jaws over the wounded appendage.

"On three." Gulped Han, just as nervous as the bear. "One... Two..." He swallowed again, his whole form covered in sweat. "Three!"

There was blood, a horrible cutting sound and thick black goo that dripped from Dianbo's stump. If he had any energy left, Saras would have been sick. Kunjingle still had enough energy to do so, spitting out the paw, the blood and his breakfast. Han however, reacted correctly. Tearing off his kimono entirely he wrapped it around the jackal's arm and pressed down. Dianbo winced in his sleep and gave an unconscious whine of pain, but nothing else.

"He needs a doctor!" Snapped Mulaohu, landing a kick to the puppet that had strayed too close to where she was pinned.

Kunjingle nodded, wiped his mouth with the back of his wrist and tenderly lifted the jackal's form. He held out his paw for the fox on the verge of sleeping, but Saras shook his head.

"Take... Babi... I'll be fine."

The bear did as he was bid, after all the babirusa was in a worse state than the fox. One arm was bent unaturally and his breathing was uneven, suggesting a broken rib or rather a few. Carrying both prone forms the bear gave a final whistle, turned and made for a doctor.

The remaining eyes turned to watch as Ba lunged and parried fiercely. The spider was a better swordsman, and had already delivered several blows that would have been fatal against an organic opponent. Against whatever tough wood the wooden lion was made of? Not so much.

How it was still standing was nothing short of miraculous, or in this case terrifying. A dagger was plunged through it's flattened, dented and charred head. Several chunks had been torn off it's mane and the paint was no longer bright or multi-coloured. It's arms were smaller now, having unloaded the vast majority of it's weaponry in combat. Yet still it swung.

Ba thrust forwards suddenly, the blade pierced through the wooden chest of the puppet, and the spider twisted. A large chunk of wood was torn off, but the spider was forced to parry another attack. Two of his blades jabbed downwards suddenly, pinning the trident-feet in place. He raised two more blades to hold back the Thing's arms.

They were pinned in a death lock now. Unable to move, both straining against each other's strength.

Saras noticed something however. A small wire the missing chunk of chest now revealed. It was perfect. So easy. A wire. Cut the wire to kill the puppet. Almost subconsciously he got to his feet, his claws at the ready. He took a moment to channel his remaining energy. There was a puff of green and Saras vanished.

Ba's eyes were momentarily blinded by a flash of green as the fox appeared. His fist shot into the gaping whole and clenched shut around the wire. Yet he found himself unable to pull it out further. He was getting dizzy again. Moments passed, and then something was pulling him along with the wire. There was a dim snap and Saras fell back, now lying on top of Han Guan. The fox got to his feet, to find Ba pulling his blades free. The lion was on it's knees, it's head drooping lifelessly down. Mulaohu was congratulating him, but he could not quite hear anything.

Slowly he stumbled towards the Thing. Ba's blade slid back into their handles and the spider hopped over to help with securing the roof. Han was rising to his feet behind him.

He was not entirely sure what compelled him to put his paw on the dagger handle sticking out from between it's grin. Nor what made him pull it free. He was so tired... He regretted the move instantly when a sharp pain made it's presence known on his belly. It was agony, yet his vision was too blurred to make out what it was. Why was he seeing black dots everywhere? His paws slid down to find two, small, round bolts sticking out of him. For some reason he gripped them tightly. It hurt! It hurt so much!

There was a cry of alarm, and something was pulling him away. He landed, sprawled on the sea of coins, his paws still glued to the bolts protruding from his form. He looked up dizzily, to find the Thing jabbing forwards with a hidden sword. The blade plunged through Han Guan as if he was made of butter. The wolverine made a noise that was half a grunt and half a moan. Somehow that was what made Saras' heart skip a beat. He wanted to scream, this wasn't real, this couldn't be real.

Ba parried the second blade before it could penetrate the mustelid's chest. He moved quickly, and sliced off the puppet's head in one clean sweep. Yet the damage was done. The last thing Saras saw was Han falling backwards into the sea of gold. Mulaohu caught him before he hit the ground. Her eyes were wide with worry, but the fox's eyes drooped down and he succumbed to the pain and exhaustion.

"You're going to be fine!" Mulaohu snapped. Han was whimpering, his eyes screwed tightly shut, his paws twitching as the waves of pain began to spread over him. "Han! Focus, Han stay awake!" She smacked him lightly on the cheek. He whined slightly, but the Chongqing's words were having no effect on him. She picked the wolverine up by the back of his neck, and moved over to the fox. Saras' chest was moving in spasms and his paws remained clamped to the bolts.

Mulaohu lifted both off the ground as if they weighed nothing. They would live... Surely it was just a bunch of flesh wounds! They just needed a doctor! And... A lot of bandages. There was so much blood... She looked up to see Ba heading in a completely different direction.

"Hey! Where you going?"

But the spider gave no reply.

Mulaohu frowned a little, but decided that she had more pressing matters to deal with.

* * *

Tianqi stood in the world of white, panting from what felt like hours of combat. He was surrounded by no less than a hundred Duyaos, all of whom were laughing in the same insane way. They leapt forwards at him, fists drawn back to deliver a thousand punches. The horse was ready for the attack, and launched into a defensive. Bursts of air sent his opponents crashing into the ground around him. Slices of sharpened wind drew huge gashes into the amphibian. One was torn in half, others lost limbs. Yet there was no blood here. The clones vanished into nothingness as soon as they were killed. Yet there were so many of them, and soon he was being swarmed all over. The frogs were everywhere, crawling over him, hitting him, choking him, biting him. He could feel tongues wrap around his neck and squeeze.

With a tremendous roar the wind flew up around Tianqi, throwing off the Duyaos. The horse leapt high, the air guiding his motions- and empowering them! He spun like a tornado towards the frog, who summoned a huge tree to block the attack.

But she had underestimated Tianqi. He was not merely _like_ a tornado, here in the Dreamworld he _was_ the tornado. Her tree was uprooted as easily as a blade of grass, and flung away from her. Tianqi's hoof didn't even need to make contact before the force of his blow flung her far to the side. The frog crashed into a trampoline and was promptly hurled back towards the horse's incoming hurricane.

This time she was able to avoid it, before climbing a set of floating stones. As she hopped from one to another she kicked them down towards him. Tianqi reacted quickly, slicing the stones clean in half before they could meet him with gusts of sharpened air.

If he hadn't known he was in the Dreamworld he'd have been surprised when he saw a sun rocketing towards him. But he wasn't a Kung Fu Master for nothing. He threw open an empty scroll, did a few rapid seals with his hooves, and tossed the scroll directly at the incoming sun. He'd been expecting to seal it, but the paper stood no chance and was incinerated on contact. He frowned slightly, but remained calm. If someone could hurl a sun at him, who was to say he couldn't just make it disappear?

There was a small 'pop' and the sun vanished. Duyao's eyes widened in horror. She deflected an incoming Kunai, but Tianqi's fly-kick caught her on the throat. The frog flew backwards through the air, where she proceeded to hurl a volley of ninja stars down at him. Drawing a zhanmadao out of thin air he proceeded to masterfully redirect the projectiles away from him. Duyao's tongue shot out, and extended far beyond what was normal. The blade was wrenched from his grip and a shuriken narrowly missed his neck.

The horse next drew a pair of deer-horn knives that matched the pair he owned in reality. Twirling them around him expertly he threw Duyaos attacks away from him. The amphibian leapt forwards, her fist crashed into the ground and built a crack along the ground. A thousand shards of broken glass flew out and towards the horse.

Tianqi crouched low, drawing his knives across the ground he summoned a wall of swirling winds which sent the glass flying hither and thither. The equine sent a gust of wind forwards, which knocked Duyao off her feet. The horse threw himself into the air and unleashed a volley of air blasts. By the time he was done, the frog was buried in a crater, laughing madly.

Duyao rose shakily to her feet. "You may think you've won Tianqi... hihihihihihi... but I. Am-"

Whatever she was Tianqi never found out, for at that moment, a piece of her chest, as long and as thin as the tip of a blade, vanished. Both stared at the gaping hole, when another was added, going through her stomach.

"W-what are you doing?" She demanded suddenly, lurching towards the horse. Two more gaps appeared, one joined the other in her chest and another appeared between her eyes. "What are you doing!?" Then they kept coming. Thick and fast the gaps grew along her form. They spread further along her form and came quicker and quicker.

"I'm not doing anything." Tianqi admitted. But Duyao could no longer hear him. What was left of her was screaming as bit by bit her form began to vanish.

The horse turned away and covered his ears, he could not bear to hear her pain. After what felt like eternity, the screaming stopped and was replaced with silence. Tianqi looked up. He was alone. The world of white was empty now. The horse pinched himself as hard as he dared.

With a gasp he found himself on cold metal. The sound of stabbing made him rise swiftly to his feet. Ba stood above Duyao's motionless form, bringing his blades down on his former Master with pure contempt. Badr was moaning weakly, surrounded by a pool of his own blood.

Tianqi lifted Badr's whimpering form off the ground. There was still work to be done. He left the spider to his own devices. If he was quick enough Badr Tamod would live another day...

* * *

 _Footnote: The new record holder for my lengthiest chapter ever...  
_

 _Ahem, to explain why certain character's lost certain match-ups. Particularly against the Thing. First off Dianbo, Han, Saras and Babirasu weren't expecting a nigh-invincible puppet. Dianbo's injuries come back from the original (only it happened in the Second Task over there rather than in the finale). Han Guan couldn't outright beat the Thing because as Ba later pointed out, the wiring's on the inside, plus he had to deal with an inhibited Dianbo for most of the fight._

 _Funnily enough Saras posed the first greatest threat to the puppet, because he's infinetly more manouverable and adaptable. So how do I successfully allow former events to take place again? Simple. Saras can enter Blood Diamond at will, yes, but not always (since he can't always control when blood will get into his mouth) Blood Diamond allows him to go feral, which is useful under some circumstances but here acts as an inhibitor (since he has less control over his own actions when feral)._

 _Babirasu's fiery fighting style is highly effective against most opponents he's been faced with so far. Which means two things, one he's slightly out of practice fighting a real threat and two, he's almost entirely unprepared for something not-flammable. His fight is the shortest (unfortunately) because he's smart enough to know he's not doing anything effective and has other priorities (saving Dianbo) so has to go for a quicker finish. Unfortunately this backfires (pardon the pun)._

 _Gonna interrupt this note to say that, while I love what I did in this remake, I wish I had given Babi some more screen time (and introduced the Thing earlier, but I suppose it works given the 'out-of-nowhere' feeling this ending should leave you in). I also regret not including the Wu Xing but that's for another time I guess..._

 _My next challenge was taking Mulaohu and Kunjingle out of the picture since they could easily overpower the Thing. The falling roof is a good excuse for Mulaohu not to move and I figured Dianbo bleeding out and finding the knocked out Babirasu's would be the most important thing to handle first. I suppose the extremely critical of you will point out that he could have carried Han and Saras out too, but one, he's a feral handler not a super-hero and this is most likely his first life-or death situation (aside from the saving Safi thing... But there was no bloodshed over there, just a lot of music. That's also why Han had to smack some sense into him (after Saras gave_ him _a quick pep-talk mind) and secondly, is he or anyone thinking straight? This whole crisis came out of nowhere for a reason!_

 _Next up we have Duyao Vs Badr 2.0 (though technically this is their third match-up). You may have noticed (or perhaps not) that some of the choreography is taken directly out of their previous match. This was intentional, however I also adapted some of what Duyao does to highlight that her fighting style is much more reckless now._

 _Saras getting shot point blank was going to happen because it happened last time, but here I think the reason he couldn't avoid the blow is far superior. Simply put the poor guy was exhausted. Teleporting tires him out and after repeatedly using that ability against the Thing earlier on he's left out of breath. Add in Blood Diamond (also depletes his energy stores) and the final teleportation and there's barely anything he can do now. Han Guan isn't the smartest to begin with, and acts more from the heart than head, so naturally does the first thing he can think of when his friend's in danger. Unfortunately the first thing he thinks of isn't some master plan._

 _Duyao Vs Tianqi was just me having fun with the Dreamworld. We shall return to it in other stories but not for a while (unfortunately). Plus giving Tianqi a well-needed action scene. I like Tianqi. Also note Duyao's new use of her tongue (frogs have long sticky tongues), something she has not done up to this point. Another little thing to show how unhinged she is.  
_

 _Now to sound slightly sadistic..._

 _That was... so satisfying to write! My last remake is almost complete! Almost... I've still got one or two chapters on this, Between Brothers and Jouney to Japan... and The Set Up GAH! (but I'm not_ completely _remaking those ones).  
_

 _Now you may be wondering why I put this_ all _in one chapter, it's mostly because I didn't know how to split it up, plus the fact that I wasn't that tempted to rip this all up. It may be a bit confusing (because a chapter this size from me is... pretty... not common) but again I really didn't know how to/ want to divide it so much. Plus while this may have taken me more time I think it's nice to not have to wait for updates mid-climax. Another factor is that I wanted to get used to writing longer chapters because... I'm going to have to do this a lot later on with things I have planned. Alas! Gone are the days where 500 words is satisfactory!_

 _Tell me if this style of writing suits you, or if you feel like too much was crammed into this and you'd have preferred if I split this up more. Also tell me what you think of the climax._

 _Now in regards to this story and others. I know that originally Duyao survives and stuff (but I only did that I think coz her first death was_ **really** _anticlimatic) and that she goes on to play a part in The Set Up... but you know what? That part is not very important and I have another character that can easily take over her 'role' in that fic. This wasn't the idea originally, but while I was writing Wugu's death I figured that she didn't deserve a redemption (which was one path she could have gone through afterwards). And while she is (by my standards) a pretty good villain I didn't want to drag her out so much. Because then it would be boring (plus all my antagonists can't just be Badr and Duyao) and Duyao doesn't have any kind of connection to the characters she would have served as an antagonist to. So here it is. I'm not lying. Duyao is dead._

 _She will show up again in Back in the Day of course and perhaps in some flashbacks, but alive or as a ghost or in the Spirit Realm? I think not! Every one of her appearances from hereon-in is set chronologically before this moment, or it's not the real her (dream, shapeshifter, illusion. Etc) Thus ends Duyao. And Safi for that matter. Han Guan, Saras and Li... you might already know the answer to that._

 _Originally the next chapter was going to be the ending, but I figured you'd need some down-time for everything that just happened to sink in. So there are maybe two more chapters (maybe even three) (or another big one) left on this fic.  
_

 _Enjoy_


	58. Silence Reigns Supreme

It had been a dull, ordinary, quiet day for the doctors at the Jiankang Institute of Guizhao. Not the province- the small town called Guizhao. Rarely visited, barely on the maps, almost as unknown to the world as the Palace of Tamod... But _they_ had a whole tournament to reel in the crowds every once in a while. Guizhao had none of that.

So it was a surprise when the bear had come, bringing an amputee and an unconscious body that despite no discernible heartbeat was breathing. The doctors of the institute had leapt at the opportunity to show-off their skills and (finally!) put their training to good use. But in truth there was little to do. The babirusa was breathing and to try and find a pulse (or start one) would be calling in undesired risks. So they merely tried to get him dry. The jackal was a recent amputee and had lost a lot of blood, but his paw had been cut very neatly, with almost surgical precision, and cleaned by the rain. It was lucky for them all that it was a cold day, or else the bloodflow would have been too damaging. As it was the stump was nothing a little acupuncture and a few stitches couldn't handle. The wounded muzzle would likely scar seeing as they could not replace the missing bone. But it was not too horrible, and for some angles almost invisible.

It was through sheer irony that the bear who'd rescued the pair from who knows where, needed the most treatment. His eyes were wide and bloodshot, and his heartbeat uneven. He seemed on the verge of emotional collapse, and had been given a tonic for shock. Then they'd had to carry his drowsy form all the way to the waiting room.

By the time they were done most were out of breath- having been severely out of practice since... Forever...

"What a day! Am I right guys? Three patients in under an hour! That must be like a record or something!" The head doctor was a small, overweight pig, currently red with pride and exhaustion. "I'd say we've all earned a-"

"This is an emergency!" Mulaohu burst through the doors. She'd set off at a run from the arena to begin with, but had since tripled her speed when Han's form had gone uncomfortably limp in her paws. Despite the agonizing screeching of her lungs (desperate for air after her lightning-fast sprint up the side of a mountain to the nearest town) Mulaohu's panic-riddled speech was perfectly coherent. "I've got a pair of stab wounds, blade through the chest-" She deposited Han roughly onto the desk. It was either that or let her shaking paws tear him to shreds. "Bolts to the stomach " She did the same with Saras, albeit gentler.

The head doctor had gone pale at the sight of them both, dripping wet and blood-stained.

"What are you waiting for!?" Mulaohu snapped uncharacteristically, before finally giving in to her lungs bending over to pant for breath, her tongue lolling out the side of her mouth. What had she done to get this tired? Sure the running had been hard, but everything else she'd faced had not been too difficult... For her...

Somebody was leading her by the paw, and she found she didn't care. She was tired, but in a good way. Her friends were in good hooves. They would make it out of this. Kunjingle was seated, his eyelids drooping in exhaustion, but they shot open as soon as he caught sight of her. He opened his mouth to say something (or rather make some incomprehensible noise) but Mulaohu was quicker.

"It's fine Kunjingle. They're all fine. At least, they will be." His eyes widened in horror. "Nothing happened! It's fine, we're all fine. We got the Thing and Ba went somewhere, I don't know, I got here as quick as I could and-" Her lungs were once more burning for air. Mulaohu fell upon the seat besides the bear. "Han and Shifty got hurt, but it's fine. They'll be fine. These guys are professionals and- Li! Shit, I forgot about Li!" The Chongqing threw herself to her feet before sprinting for the door. She made it as far as that before her legs turned to jelly and she came crashing to the ground in a tangle.

Someone, most likely Kunjingle, lifted her off the ground and placed her with mother-like care, back on the chair. The bear patted her gently on the head, before flopping uselessly onto the chair besides her.

 _He must be as tired as I am... Or more..._ Kunjingle was, for lack of a more accurate word, fat. Yes he had a lot of muscle-power, but it did not change the fact that he was heavy and covered in flab. And Mulaohu had never really seen him run before. Lacking her extensive training, it was a miracle he had gotten this far to begin with.

"Right then... Li will be fine. We should just... wait." She put on her most comforting smile for him. "Everything's going to be fine."

He did the smallest of nods and the pair descended into an awkward silence. Mulaohu wished Li I were here, so he could translate. At the moment he could understand her perfectly, but she had no idea what all his popping and clicking and whistling meant. Her perfect memory also helped confirm that the bear's motions were not a language, so much so as a way of communicating. The same noise did not mean the same thing in every conversation. She should have asked Li for lessons...

 _Never mind... I'll do that later..._

Days and weeks and months seemed to pass, but really it was closer to half an hour, yet the wait was torture at it's best. Or rather worst. They were too weak to do anything productive, but too on-edge to actually relax. It was the worst feeling of helplessness imagineable.

 _Babirasu_ of all people, was the first to enter the waiting room. He had a decisive limp, and his speech was markedly slurred, yet he seemed to be coping well.

"What happened?" Was his first question, upon seating himself besides the two. Although neither could see it he had nothing short of a killer headache.

The question took a few seconds for Mulaohu to register, but the Chongqing's response was immediate. "There was a disturbance, I don't know. Wong was at the Gate of Metal, he was... Vandalising property. I thought it was part of the tournament. Me and Li, and Kunjingle went to stop him. But something was wrong with him. It was like... He didn't feel anything. Like he couldn't think."

"He had a hard time thinking to begin with."

Mulaohu did an eye-roll. Even that made her dizzy. So she channeled her remaining strength into telling the babirusa everything. "Well we fought him and then Ba came and he said Duyao did something. So we left Li to fight Wong and went to help you guys out. It was lucky we came, you were knocked out and the others were in pretty bad shape. Kunjingle did an amputation-" The bear flinched. "Which Dianbo will be thankful for! And then he got you two out of the arena."

"What about Han Guan and Kanbujian?"

"Well... They got hurt." The babirusa's eyes widened, but Mulaohu tried and failed to wave away his doubts. "They'll be fine, don't worry. You know they're tough."

The babirusa looked unconvinced. Rising to his feet he began an almost frantic pacing, it did nothing to ease his companion's worries. Finally he turned to them. "Where's Li?"

"He's still out there." Mulaohu answered honestly, yet hated that that was all she could do.

"Right." He said distractedly. "Right." He repeated. His eyes had a far away look to them. "Right. Well, I'm going to go help him."

"Don't bother. The fighting's done." Ba strode in, dripping wet and all out of fight. He collapsed on yet another chair, filling up the final seat. "I'd say we lost."

Tianqi arrived a moment later, and instantly his eyes found Mulaohu. He raced forwards, and came to a halt a few feet from her, which was still closer than she was used to. "Are you alright? Did anything happen to you? Do you need acupuncture? I can do acupuncture-"

"I'm fine Master."

The horse breathed a tremendous sigh of relief.

"Not that any of you would care, but Wugu is dead." Ba snapped all-of-a-sudden, unable to contain that precious piece of information.

Kunjingle gawped at him, eyes wide, jaw agape, ears flattened. Mulaohu felt her tongue turn to lead. Not even she could lift it back up. Babirasu stopped his pacing and sat back down.

"Duyao killed him." Ba choked out, unable to contain his hatred. "Duyao broke every bone in his little body and-" He could go no further and punched the wall with three of his arms. "Duyao is dead too." The spider spat. "I killed her. I stabbed her so much she..."

"She disintegrated." Tianqi remembered with a shudder.

"It's what happens when you die in the Dreamworld."

The room was silent. But Ba felt a powerful urge to go on. "Safi Tamod is also dead. Duyao killed her. Wong is dead. Duyao killed him. Duyao did something to that puppet which is why it was trying to kill us and- one of the Lis is dead. Also Duyao."

Kunjingle seemed to curl in on himself. He was hugging his knees and gently rocking on his seat. His eyes were swimming with tears and seemed fixed on some old memory from a lifetime before.

Yet no matter how much pain his words caused, Ba felt compelled to continue. "Badr Tamod might as well be dead. These people are doctors, not magicians. You can't grow back an arm. This is all his fault anyways..."

A horrible silence swooped in and once more reigned supreme.

Suddenly the doors burst open and all eyes were upon it, expecting to see another one of their friends back on their feet. It was Chifu, the Imperial Army Detective, and he looked livid. He fixed his gaze on Tianqi and pointed a shaking paw at him. "What on earth is going on here? The whole town's packed in an inn, and I heard that there's been murder! What are you doing? I need all the help I can ge-"

The dog was wrenched off the ground and slammed into a wall. Ba was glaring at him, two arms went for the canine's throat, almost instinctively. "It's over you dumb dog! Duyao is dead! And if you'd done your job properly none of this would have happened."

The dog was red in the face from lack of air, and unable to say anything.

"Wugu's dead. Duyao's dead. Wugu's dead. _Wugu's dead!_ " With a tremendous effort the spider managed to pull himself off the dog, who collapsed, whimpering, to the floor. The spider turned around and scuttled back to his seat, where he sat brooding. His face was a dark scowl that seemed to only highlight his already fearsome features. Duyao was dead at his hands. Wugu's was dead at hers... And now he was alone.

Tianqi left a short while after to help restore order and calm the townsfolk. The former competitors were left to their own thoughts, undisturbed by the doctors that came rushing past to fetch bandages, herbs or needles of some sort. By the time the Kung Fu Master returned it was almost nightfall. No-one else had yet made a recovery. Silence reigned supreme.

It was well past nightfall when Dianbo arrived, bleary-eyed and sporting a thickly-bandaged stump. Kunjingle was upon him before he could say a word, and gave the jackal a hug that was at once heartfelt and bone-crushing.

"Nice...to see...you too..." The jackal wheezed, either too tired or not strong enough to pull himself free of the bear's mighty grip. His voice was nasally, an effect the bandages round his muzzle had no doubt.

"I'm glad you're alive." Said Mulaohu, a small grin spreading over her muzzle.

"Master Tianqi?" There was a small squeak and the head doctor's head poked out from around the doorway. "If you're not busy..."

The horse nodded in comprehension and left the others to their devices. He followed the pig down a short hall and into the emergency room. It was a mess if ever the horse had seen one. Blood-splattered bandages were strewn across the floor like discarded paper. Healers were passed out against the walls, exhausted from a long day of hard work-perhaps more work than they had ever received. Tianqi scanned the beds. Badr lay on one, wrapped up so tightly in bandages it was almost comical. It would have been so if the horse did not know what he looked like without them. Li lay on the second, pale, but breathing, albeit unsteadily. Saras lay on the third, his middle practically gift-wrapped in silk. And on the fourth a figure that belonged to Han Guan, covered in a blanket.

"So um..." The pig, despite vast medical training and skill, lacked experience in talking to patients- after all the most they received were some grazed knees and small bruises- usually belonging to children. "The fox should recover." He started slowly. "Of course, he lost a lot of blood and the wounds will scar. It will be a while before he recovers completely... Physically."

"What do you mean physically?"

"Well... Trauma can be very damaging to patients sir. Even when their wounds are healed... Take the rabbit for example. He is unharmed as far as we can see. A few bruises, but nothing too serious. Yet he's comatose, and will likely remain so. The shock of loosing his twin was probably what did it-"

"Clone. Not twin. His clone died."

The pig raised an eyebrow. "Pardon?"

Tianqi shook his head. "It's nothing."

"Well... His heart rate is as normal, but his breathing is uneven- it's as if he is enduring physical pain, but at the same time there is nothing we can do for his present condition. We gave him some herbal painkillers but... No improvement. I think he will live, but the damage... May be severe."

"Miracles are always possible." Tianqi said, trying to remain positive.

"Ah, yes. Well, Badr Tamod will need a miracle to survive the night. He's lost a lot of blood, and we can't just regrow an entire arm. Moreover parts of his skull were damaged beyond repair. We're unsure if his brain was affected but it's likely. We're not miracle-workers."

Tianqi nodded. "I'm sure you did your best."

"Yes well..." The pig seemed to be trying to tell him something, but the words were stuck in his throat.

"The wolverine?" Tianqi turned to the last bed, where Han Guan lay, cold and unmoving.

"He didn't make it." The pig said with a sniffle. He then pulled out a massive tissue and blew his nose into it. "We did everything we could but, he lost a lot of blood and he was b-barely alive when we got him. There was nothing we could do. His h-heart just st-stopped. Forgive me," he said, drying his eyes. "I've never lost a patient before and- we tried everything! Acupuncture, mouth-to-mouth, just pumping his ch-chest. I- we tried to h-help b-but we c-cou-"

Tianqi raised a hoof for silence. "You did your best. Some things fate has already decided, there is no preventing that." He gestured to another doctor. "Please, give this man some tea... And get yourself some too."

The horse strode slowly back to the others. _Duyao... What have you done.._. Families would have to be informed, told that their loved ones had been murdered. He did not envy the one who had to do so. The Tamods were all but wiped out. Badr would not survive the night... He barely knew the rabbit, or the fox, or the wolverine or the fish... Yet Mulaohu would no doubt grieve. And he with her.

The horse entered the waiting room.

The jackal managed to pull free from the bear's vice-like grip, or rather pulled himself out enough to breathe. His twitching eyes fell upon the horse's face and the ghost of a smile vanished instantly. Mulaohu's grin faltered, Babirasu stared despondently at the floor and Ba punched a wall.

Kunjingle opened his mouth to say something, but hastily closed it. The babirusa's hooves swept over his face. Ba began to brood and Dianbo's whole form went limp.

There was nothing left to say.

* * *

 _Footnote: Behold, the penultimate chapter of this story. Not too eventful but a necessary recap/gut-punch before I finish up. Next chapter shouldn't take too long, but I don't want to rush it. After that all I'll really be doing is editting so plain-sailing from here-on-in._

 _I think it's fair to say that Ba is a jerk. At the same time it's also fair to say that being an asshole does not make him a villain. I'm not too sure where to go with him moving forwards but his fighting style is something I do enjoy working around so...yeah. Wugu I think is someone we will see more of, albeit entirely through Ba. At the same time he's not *that* interesting a character. Plus most people don't like spiders... Which I suppose I can play around with... But that's something for another day._

 _Originally this chapter was going to have a lot of over-the-top comedy but I decided it didn't really suit the tone. So I made it a bit darker without making it too angsty (I hope... The angst is for the finale). You should probably be more shocked than sad (but this is the second time this has happened so not sure how shocked you can be) but obviously the grieving starts here._

 _I hope you... Enjoyed this? Well I hope you're looking forwards to what's coming up._


	59. Bandages And Broken Things

**A/N: Woooooooooooohooooooo! Finished this. I really enjoyed working on this remake. I think at least that it's better than the original, took me a lot of time, but that was mostly because I kept working on *other* stuff. That and my life has been extra hectic this year... Still, hopefully I impressed. My longest story so far, but I think a few others will surpass this... Still almost 150K so not too shabby, eh?  
**

 **In advance I'd like to say that the passage of time in this chapter is unclear, it could be a few days, few weeks. etc But it does take place over a long period of time. It is, much like the first chapter, entirely from Saras' viewpoint. I figured it was a nice way to round off this fic and show how he's... perhaps not developed, but how he's been... damaged.  
**

* * *

 _When did my eyelids get so heavy?_

Was his first thought upon waking up. Opening them was a monumental effort, but he forced himself to do it. The darkness was maddening. He needed light! He blinked back tears as light flooded into his vision.

"Not that much light." He said, or rather wanted to say. His voice cracked. He hadn't noticed the dryness of his throat. He needed water, but his arms had become slabs of rock and his legs were like jelly. "I need... water." He croaked to himself. He moved as much as he could, not that it did him any good. He was just...so...tired. He closed his eyes, maintaining vision was costing him too much energy. He needed water. Water. His eyes snapped open once again, too quickly. There were black spots in his vision, and the light was still too bright.

Water... he needed water. And then something was pressing water to his mouth and he was drinking. Every gulp seemed to take all his energy away, but at the same time give him new strength.

The next few days were spent sleeping. He couldn't eat for the life of him, and every time he woke all he wanted was water and more rest. Yet every day his body seemed to be responding more. First he could twitch his ears and his nose, then his tail obeyed him. Then he could twist his head, slowly, from side to side.

Kunjingle was his saviour, it seemed. The bear was always with him, stroking his fur and offering companionship. It was strange, to feel so safe despite being so helpless. Someone from the Imperial Army came once, and asked a few questions, but Saras neither heard them nor could he find the energy to answer them.

As control returned to him, so did pain. His stomach hurt. He knew pain, yes, he endured it quite often, but it was often quick, and ended after a day or two of rest. The worst had been when the Weeper had cracked his skull open, but he'd lived through that and in truth didn't really remember what it felt like. The Death Touch wasn't painful, so much as... destructive. He supposed what he felt now was a combination of the worst parts of those incidents. Harsh, physical pain, and a useless body.

* * *

When he was well enough to sit up he clumsily pulled off the bandages around his middle. Two holes of flesh, perfectly symmetrical, lay on his belly. They hurt and throbbed, and bled at the slightest touch. Scars. Saras fainted. The next time he awoke someone had replaced the bandages.

* * *

As his legs returned to him, he began walking, stretching and wondering. What of the others? He doubted any of them were better off than him. Li I would have visited. Han Guan would have offered up a game of Battai.

* * *

Mulaohu came once, and asked him how he felt. He hadn't lied when he told her he was hungry. She had laughed, but there had been a sadness in her eyes. He hadn't asked about the others. It was too soon. And she'd have been honest...

* * *

Kunjingle came every day, and would stroke his fur while Saras sat upright. It was strangely comforting, though Saras did not know why he needed so much comfort.

* * *

Reidak came once, and Saras was surprised to see him. Hadn't he left? But there had been no joy in the tiger and he hadn't stayed for very long.

* * *

"I suppose it will be about as useful as my real paw." Dianbo said, showing off a glass paw he'd had fashioned in the shape of the one he'd lost. _Always a glass paw. Clever joke._

Saras nodded wordlessly. "Got any plans?" He hated talking about himself. He was not fine! And anyone who asked was either blind or stupid.

Dianbo shrugged. "I was thinking of heading to India... maybe for a bit you know. I don't really know anyone there, but I guess it's where I'm from. What about you?"

Saras shrugged. "I'll think of something." _I'll stay here..._

That had been their goodbye. Dianbo had not come again.

* * *

"A coma?" He repeated dumbly. The nurse looked sympathetic and told him that it was the shock of loosing his twin that had caused it. But Li I didn't have a twin. And if Li II was dead, did that mean half of Li I was dead?

"Are you alright?" She asked.

He opened his mouth and closed it. He merely shook his head and traveled down the hall, his tail trailing behind him, his ears drooping with so much weight they hurt.

* * *

There was one tombstone, carved of white marble and decorated with every flower imaginable. Safi Tamod. He had not liked her. She had not liked him. But he could not bring himself to hate her, at the end of the day she had died young, and it was always a tragedy to die young, even if you were a pompous brat.

Worse still was when you died young, but weren't a pompous brat, as was the case with Wugu. Sweet Wugu, who had, in all Four Tasks of a martial arts tournament, hurt no one, with either word or act. Saras blinked. His eyes were wet. They stung. He felt something on his shoulders. A black paw. Then Ba was talking to him, but none of the words registered. Saras nodded dumbly and blinked away the tears. Wugu. Sweet, innocent Wugu.

He skipped Li II's grave and traveled to the fourth.

Perhaps he had known beforehand, but had been too scared to admit it. Or maybe he hadn't known and was a naive little child.

Han Guan.

Those two words, etched forever into a slab of rock, hurt more than his scar and made his vision blur. _Han Hoki Tokugawa Shinza Guan, bastard, shame of his clan... and my friend._. And he'd been so close. So bloody close. _He'd have won._

He did not know how long he stood there for. But his eyes were twitching painfully, his ears refused to move from their position at the back of his head and his tail seemed to be made of wood. He hardly even noticed the tears that slipped down his cheeks and dripped slowly on the tomb at his feet.

 _I missed the funeral... I missed the bloody funeral!_ His paws were clenched now, and his claws dug deep enough to draw blood. _Noone told me.._. Noone had told him anything. What had happened? What had gone wrong? Who was to blame? How had the townsfolk gotten away? What about Duyao? Duyao was dead, right?

A thousand questions raced through his mind. He should have asked someone! But Han was dead, Li was out cold, Dianbo had left the country, Mulaohu had gone back to her palace and he couldn't understand Kunjingle anyways. Reidak had not wanted to hurt him... Who was he supposed to ask?

Then another black paw was on his shoulder, and he wondered whether Ba had returned.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Badr croaked. The black cat looked worse than ever. Half his face was bandaged, one arm was missing and he looked older than ever.

Saras pulled away from him and stumbled. He blinked away the tears and found himself staring at the old cat's one remaining green eye. Anger was rising from his stomach. Hissing serpents reared their ugly heads from his scars. Badr Tamod... the memory of what he'd seen in Duyao's head was still fresh. The crazy cat had driven the old frog mad... and she had returned and reaped bloody vengeance... on his friends...

"I can't pretend to know your pain but... my daughter, she meant the world to me." He smiled sadly. If Saras had been thinking clearly he'd have noticed that for once it was genuine. "I've made many mistakes in my life... so many. I... I never realized what was important. My father tried to teach me that but-" He couldn't finish his sentence, and swallowed heavily. "I've made so many mistakes."

"You think?" Han Guan, Wugu, Li I, Dianbo's paw, his scars, even Safi's death... it was all his fault. The cursed black cat. Han had been so close... so bloody close.

"I know I have." Was Badr's solemn reply. He tried to touch him again, to put that ugly black paw on his shoulder. To comfort him.

Saras pulled away again, snarling. _Badr and Duyao... you both belong in hell._

"I'm sorry. But... I know your pain. I too lost everything. I lost my daughter."

The words were out his mouth before he gave them a second thought. "Good riddance." After that he sighed, too weak to notice Badr's expression. Sad and tired. Slowly, Saras turned away. He would go back to sleep, and wake up from this nightmare. And when he woke up he'd cry his eyes out all over again.

"What did you say?" The cat's voice was a low, almost shocked, hiss.

"Good riddance." His voice was low, almost a whisper. He had half a mind to turn around and give Badr something to mourn for... but that was tiring. He just needed to sleep...

He never made it to his bed.

Badr caught him by the shoulder and spun him around. A knee to his stomach made the scars burn and his vision blur. Then a fist sent him sprawling to the ground.

He was a fighter. He had fought worse and lived to tell the tale. But he was so tired now, too tired to block even a single one of the incoming punches as they rained down upon him. One by one they fell, and he was sure his nose was broken again. It was just like on the island, where the Weeper had brought a rock down on him over and over and over and over again. He wondered faintly whether or not his skull would crack.

He did not see who was the one who saved him, all he knew was that Kunjingle was picking him up. The bear's eyes were filled with worry. Faintly, he could hear Chaonao's voice. The parrot was saying something. He was shouting and threatening. And it ended with a SQUAWK! Then the parrot was peering down at him.

"Don't worry kid. It's going to be a-okay!"

He was lying. He was a showman. An actor. He was payed to lie.

He didn't see Badr again. Or Chaonao.

* * *

Maybe it was a week later, maybe a month. Time passed oddly when all you could do was feel pain and loss and drink enough to drown in. But he was leaving. He'd sent a letter to the Bat Cave. There had been no details, only a 'come pick me up'. The carriage would take him back to where it had picked him up... a lifetime ago. Before he'd known Lang and Jiao'ao and Li and Kunjingle. Before Battai and before Yei. He was packed. Clothes, bandages, medicine the nurse insisted he took with him, even the stupid pink towel. And Yei. The red gem was still warm to the touch, but it seemed valueless now. He'd have gladly traded it for another round of Battai. He dumped it in his bag and threw the sack over his shoulder.

Babirasu was waiting for him at the stairs. He'd forgotten about the babirusa. "Hey."

"Hi." Saras repeated emotionlessly. He was too tired to fight. He slumped slightly. After all he'd lost to get it... Yei would fall back into Mongol hands. And he was too tired to stop it.

And in truth... he really didn't care.

Babirasu waved his thoughts away, as if he could read his mind. "Keep it."

Saras blinked. "Keep what?"

"I wonder when you'll actually start trusting me. Though I admit, it's funny to watch you jump from one wrong conclusion to another." He held out a hoof. "Come on. I'm walking you home."

Hesitantly the fox stretched his own paw forwards, where Babirasu snatched it. The two walked down the marble steps, and past the marble corridors and out the marble palace with it's odd architecture. It no longer looked funny, or stupid, or impressive. It looked like a giant marble tombstone.

Dimly he remembered Babirasu promising him... "You said you'd tell me about the Jit Kun?" His words were so slurred it was a miracle the babirusa could understand him.

Babi's ears drooped. "I... I don't want to... It's a long story. And I'd rather not when, when you're like this."

"Like what?"

"Like... damaged. Who're you kidding Kanbu? You're weak. You can barely stand, you can barely walk, you can barely even talk."

"I'm _fine!_ " Saras made as if to strike, but the sudden motion made him lose balance. He'd have fallen over had Babirasu not been there to catch him.

"You just proved my point."

The fox sighed and shook his head. _You make no sense sometimes, you know that right?_ "Tell me next time."

"I don't think there will be a next time Kanbu. Our paths have crossed now and they have crossed before... but... I can't... it's better if we never see each other again."

Saras stopped. Somehow the words hurt more than his wounds. "You- you don't mean that right?"

Babirasu took one look at the sad little fox before him and shook his own head. "Of course not. I'm your friend."

"What a pair are we." The fox pulled his paw free. "I'll walk back myself thanks." He hesitated. "Bye Babi." And with that he walked the rest of the way to the waiting carriage.

* * *

He slept the whole trip away, and woke up just as the carriage was grinding to a halt. The door burst open and Shan Qu was there, grinning from ear to ear. It reminded Saras of Han Guan.

It hurt.

"I knew you'd do it boss!" The fruit bat was saying as he grabbed the sack and swung it over his shoulder. "Mind you I still wished I had come. To be honest though I expected you'd come earlier. So how was the tournament? Was it fun?"

The carriage began moving away. Saras shook his head, not trusting his voice.

"You tired boss? Well figures. I haven't been doing much to be honest." The bat was searching through the sack. "Say, what's all this medical stuff for?"

Saras opened his mouth and closed it. He shook his head. "It's a long story." _And one I'd rather not talk about._

"Oh well you can tell me later. Come on boss the cave is waiting!" The bat threw the sack across his back and flapped a few feet ahead, only to notice his friends much slower pace. "Er boss-are you okay?"

He opened his mouth to say he was fine. But the words would not come out his mouth. He shook his head from side to side. "I'm... tired."

* * *

 _Footnote: Behold the Downer Ending. You know it's probably not as sad to long-time readers since they already know what happens next, but some parts should still pack quite a punch. Wugu doesn't get a resurrection and while he was mostly sidelined his story is quite tragic the whole way through, and while Safi is mostly an antagonist in this story I think pitying her is quite a reasonable reaction. I love all the characters I create to be entirely honest with you (the ones that count as characters anyway)._

 _As for future projects, well bit of bad news. Hercules and Black and White are still 'backburner fics' (though I will obviously still work on them). Back in the Day is going forwards incredibly slowly and is really a bit of a pain to write. I've said it before, but I really think I've lost my touch with fight scenes. They just come so much... slower._

 _Which means my next (new) project is A Land's Struggle. Originally it was going to be a mega-huge-gigantic culmination of all my work. It was going to be a story so grand that I would focus on nothing else while writing it. And I still need to sort out all the details. But it was going to be a bit... too grand. Back in the Day: The Tournament, has taught me that too many characters makes for very, very slowly progressing story-telling. And there were going to be an awfully large amount of characters. Mine and other authors included. Some were only gonna be there for one chapter or two. It was meant to be the big finale, but all the 'big finale' conclusions felt somewhat empty or clichéd. So instead we'll just say it's half an ending. I cut out large chunks of the plot to use in other stories in the future. It will however be the culmination of the Stories of Saras . It's still large, still epic, still has a load of characters. But instead of squeezing everyone into one story I split it up a bit. It won't end this series, but rather opens up several new directions to take, while also giving a satisfying ending to those not going forwards. So basically Infinity War...  
_

 _So what shall I be up to these days? Well starting with Journey to Japan I'll be combing through Village Champion and One Form Too May just so everything is clear (and to remind myself of things I need to foreshadow/keep working on) and then I'll do Between Brothers and then..._

 _The fun begins._

 _Though you might expect a Christmas Special from me..._

 _Enjoy._


End file.
